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Jude

Momma called and told us that Callie was out of surgery, Callie was out of surgery and resting. If she was resting that meant she had to be doing alright, I asked if I could visit her but she said we had to wait and see. For some reason that small piece of good news was all I needed to go back to my room and climb into bed, Mariana was sleeping beside Jesus in our room and a pang hit hard in my chest. I would walk to the hospital just to spend the night next to Callie right now, but as I lay down on my bed I realized how exhausted I was and fell asleep as soon as I pulled the covers up to my chin.

Callie and I stood in the hallway of Anchor Beach I glanced around but we were alone, "I think we're late for class." I said trying to peak into a window. Callie didn't say anything, a bang rang out through the halls. It echoed eerily in the empty halls, Callie looked around quickly but we didn't see where the noise was coming from.

"Run Jude, go, don't look back." Callie said quickly shoving me towards the exit. A faceless person in a hoodie suddenly appeared at the end of the hall, a gun in their hand, pointing directly at me and Callie. She shoved me again and I stumbled back. A shot rang out and whizzed past my ear.

"Callie come with me." I screamed and pulled on her arm, she didn't move. I tried to drag her along but she wouldn't move, another shot rang out and blood blossomed across Callie's shirt. "Callie let's go."

"Just go Jude, I'll be okay." She seemed un-fazed by the fact that she had just been shot.

"I'm not leaving you." I was crying, tears were streaming down my face, why wouldn't Callie just move? "Please come with me." Another bang rang out and this time Callie stumbled with the impact of the bullet, my heart pounded in my chest.

"Hurry Jude before you get hurt." Callie insisted. Another bang rang out and Callie was on the floor, I ended up beside the exit, leaving Callie there all alone. I didn't remember walking over there, but there I was about to leave Callie all alone. The hooded figure stood over Callie, its hand reached up and pulled back its hood. Vico's bloody face appeared from behind it, he fired two more shots into Callie and she stopped moving, my throat hurt from all the screaming and my legs began to shake as Vico turned his gun to me.

Bang.

I woke up shaking from head to foot, I dried my face with the back of my hand looked over to Jesus' bed. Mariana was still there, but they were sound asleep, my dream had seemed so real I almost expected Vico to come walking down our hallway in his hoodie. I was too scared to go back to sleep and moms were busy with Callie so I wasn't going to call them so I just sat there for a few minutes staring at the door waiting to see if Vico was actually there.

After almost half an hour I began to feel stupid, there was no way Vico was in our house. Mike would stop him if he was and most of all Vico was dead. I picked up my backpack and walked out to the living room, I turned on cartoons and grabbed a large stack of printer paper and colored pencils. I started with a simple get well card for Callie, a lot of flowers and rainbows, something to make Callie feel better. I focused on having the neatest handwriting I could when I wrote 'Get well soon, love Jude', there Callie would like that a lot.

I pulled out a clean piece of paper and drew her a picture of the house, something with everyone standing outside of it. Mom and Momma were holding hands, Brandon had his headphones on, Callie had her guitar, the twins had their arms around one another's shoulders and I drew myself as close to Callie as I possible could. I suddenly noticed that she was all I had, the twins had each other, Brandon had music, moms loved each other so much, and I had Callie, and now Callie was hurt. I carefully finished our family picture and placed it on top of her 'get well' card.

I grabbed another piece of paper and started writing, I had won the poetry contest but I had never tried to write anything for someone else. I looked down at what I had written and was surprised how honest it was, I had never been able to say these types of things to Callie out loud, but there it was. I kept writing, I had almost two pages filled up when I saw that the sun had come up and Mariana came down stairs. She looked at the pictures I had drawn and slipped out a piece of paper and started making Callie another card. I finished my letter and drew Callie a picture of the beach, I was careful to make sure it wasn't anything like the beach next to our school.

"When do you think Callie can come back home?" Mariana asked softly placing an amazing picture of a guitar on top of mine, her picture was way better than mine.

"Well mom came home in a week, maybe Callie will be home in a week too?" Mariana nodded and started working on a picture of our backyard. Brandon came downstairs and looked around and saw me and Mariana making cards, he sat down and made one and then looked around.

"Is my dad still asleep?" I shrugged. "I think I'm going to make Callie a playlist, I'll fill her ipod up with all kinds of music, a few books, it has to be boring at the hospital."

"That's a great idea." I looked down at what I had done and it looked stupid, Mariana could draw better than me and Brandon had a much better idea. I looked over my letter and decided I would start writing Callie a happy story, I would send her a new chapter every other day.

"Where's Callie's ipod?" Brandon asked looking around for her backpack.

"She took it to school." I said softly. "Do you think moms have her backpack?"

"It's probably still there, I left my backpack there too." Mariana said scribbling away at the blue sky above our backyard. Brandon stood there silently before running upstairs and disappearing for about twenty minutes, just long enough to miss the loud crashing sound coming from my bedroom. I jumped and looked around for Vico before I could stop myself, Mariana did the same thing dashing over to me and throwing her arms around me.

A scream echoed down the stairs and another crashing sound, followed by a thud. "I think it's Jesus." I whispered into Mariana's arms. She ran upstairs and I followed slowly behind her, Mariana was already in our room when I reached the stairs. I could hear Jesus screaming at Mariana while she tried to shush him and figure out what was going on, as I reached the top of the steps Mike tumbled out of mom's room pulling a shirt on his head.

"Jude what's going on?" He asked looking at me, blinking sleep out of his eyes. I didn't answer, he didn't really need me to answer he walked into my bedroom to assess the situation and a skateboard came flying out of the doorway. It punched a hole in the wall and a few pictures swayed dangerously, but the one of Callie's Gotcha' Day photo fell to the ground and broke. I picked it up and stared at it. Moms are going to be so upset that there was a hole in the wall, and Jesus broke Callie's picture, moms loved all our Gotcha' Day photos above everything else and Jesus broke Callie's. I stood in the door to my room and watched as Jesus broke every single thing that he owned.

Trophies, skateboards, his computer, his phone. Mariana tried to talk to him but he gave her a calculated shove and swore at her in a way that shut her up, she stood in the connecting bathroom and watched as Jesus destroyed half of the room. Mike seemed to be waiting for Jesus to just run out of steam and Brandon appeared behind my shoulder. "What happened?" He whispered behind me as Jesus' desk toppled to the floor, his mattress was flipped off the frame and he kicked his bedside table before punching a hole in the wall. I shrugged at Brandon and he sighed and seemed resigned to just waiting for Jesus to calm himself down.

"Should we stop him?" I asked softly so Jesus couldn't hear me and get mad at me too.

"Jesus used to have episodes like this when he first moved in with us." Brandon said leaning down so Jesus couldn't hear him either. "He'll calm down, moms won't be that upset." Brandon squeezed my shoulder and we watched as Jesus ripped everything out of his closet before collapsing into the mess and breathing heavily.

"Hey kid, wanna tell me what's going on?" Mike said carefully finally stepping into the room. Jesus started crying, body wracking sobs, Mike sat beside him and wrapped his arm around Jesus' shoulders.

"Emma." Jesus mumbled.

"Yeah buddy I know." Mike held him tighter and we just watched Jesus cry for a few minutes.

"What happened to Emma?" Mariana asked as Jesus wiped his eyes and stood up in the rubble he had created.

"She's dead, that stupid fuck Vico killed her. I'm glad he's dead otherwise I would rip his damn head off." Jesus spat, he looked ready to rip more pictures off the wall but took a few deep breaths and clenched his fists tightly. "I forgot to take my pill last night." He mumbled and pushed me and Brandon aside before running down the stairs and slamming cupboards. Mariana was crying again and Brandon looked as though he might cry too.

"Don't worry about the mess Jude, I think your stuff is okay, moms will take care of it alright?" I nodded. Brandon went back to his room and closed the door softly, I carefully made my way through the destruction to where Mariana was standing.

"I can't believe Emma's- you know?" I nodded and stared down at the broken frame in my hand. "Lena will be really upset if she sees that, we should buy a new frame and take it to Callie in the hospital." She said drying her tears and putting on a watery smile. She carefully took the picture from me and looked at the photograph of Callie and moms holding the court papers.

"I'll paint your nails." I offered, Mariana smiled and ruffled my hair.

"I'd love that." She said and we walked into her room, neither of us looked at Callie's bed.

Stef

I couldn't take my eyes off Callie, I had been watching her for hours and I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I thought I had understood the severity of the situation when I traveled with her in the ambulance, but now, sitting here in the bright sterile room, staring at Callie as a nurse tucked a sheet around her, I wanted to hold her. I wanted to lay beside her, I wanted to see her smile and play guitar, help Jude with his homework, hell I would even pay to see her fight with Mariana again.

"Stef." Lena said softly touching my shoulder, I ignored her. I wasn't ready to go. "I just got a call from Mike, Jesus heard about Emma." I reached out and took a hold of Callie's hand, her fingernails were a little blue, but it was still Callie. Ever since the twins had moved in with us I was the one that handled Jesus' temper, but now I just wasn't ready. "He's really upset, he trashed his room." She reached out and stroked Callie's cheek. "She'll be okay Stefanie." Lena said softly sitting beside me and covering mine and Callie's hands with her own, I looked up at Lena and wondered if she had been experiencing the same six hours I had.

"I don't want to leave her." I whispered, Lena didn't say anything, she just looked down at Callie and her shoulders drooped. I know I said I was going to go home first, but I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready to leave Callie here.

"I promise I will take great care of our daughter." Lena said staring me straight in the eye. "Do you trust me?" I felt my eyes burn, there was no way I was going to cry again, I didn't have any tears left to cry.

"Of course I trust you." I insisted, she nodded but continued to stare at me.

"Then you know I will call you if something happens and she'll never be alone, but our other children need us too. Callie wouldn't want all this attention anyway." She finished with a weak smile. I knew she was right, especially if Jesus was at home having episodes, but leaving Callie alone was the very last thing I wanted to do. "I'll give you two a minute, okay?" I nodded and she walked out of the room, and stood right outside the door.

"Hey Cal." I whispered into her hand. "You had better be good for Momma, I want you to be right here when I get back. No giving up." Her chest continued to rise and fall with the precision only a machine could create. "I love you so much." I stared at her heart monitor, the line moved steadily, for now. Her heart had stopped three times in the last six hours, she had a total of two seizures and by the way the doctors stood around they expected her to have more. "As long as you wake up, you can take as long as you need to, I'll be right here okay?" Callie didn't answer. I pressed my lips against her hand before carefully placing it back on her bed, I walked towards the door but stopped to look at her again. It amazed me how she could only look mildly injured and be so hurt. Lena's hand slipped into mine and she gently pulled me out of the room.

"Call me when you get home, make sure Jesus is safe, Mike said it was really bad." I nodded and took the car keys from her hand. "Are you okay to drive?" She asked holding onto the keys.

"Yes love, it will help me clear my head. Please call me if anything happens, anything." Lena sighed softly.

"That would just make you anxious, especially if it's something minor."

"Call me." I insisted. I gave her a kiss, took the keys, and walked away before she could say anything else. "I love you." I called out walking down the hallway, Lena waved as she walked back into Callie's room. The further away I got from Callie's room the more anxious I became, as soon as I stepped into the parking garage I already had my cell phone in hand and was ready to call Lena and ask if Callie was alright, I sat in the car with the keys in one hand and my cell phone in the other. I couldn't take it anymore and brought the phone up to my ear, it rang a few times before it was answered.

"Hey Stef." Mike said brightly, his upbeat personality was exactly what I needed. I started the car and pulled out of the garage.

"Hey, thanks for watching the kids, we owe you." I said trying to feel like my old self.

"No, you guys are family, it's what we do for each other." He insisted. There was a loud crashing sound in the background.

"How's Jesus doing?" I asked as glass broke somewhere.

"He's coping." Mike said simply. "Jesus go outside dude." Mike tried.

"Don't tell me what the fuck to do!" Jesus screamed, I flinched, the house probably looked like a tornado had come through.

"Try and get him into the garage to work out, tell him I'll be home in half an hour." Mike relayed my message to Jesus, there was more swearing and door slamming, but the background was substantially quieter.

"Teach me your ways." Mike huffed. "That kid has been screaming from the rafters for hours. How in the world have you handled that for so long?"

"He hasn't done that in years, he used to be smaller and it was a lot easier to stop him from breaking expensive things. Just try and distract him, don't worry about anything he broke. How's Jude?"

"He's been with Mariana, they made Callie some cards." Mike got quiet. "How's she doing?"

"She's still with us, she's hanging on." I said simply, it hardly described the fight going on inside of Callie.

"Well drive safe and I'll talk to you when you get home, okay? Let me make sure Jesus isn't ripping out the foundation of the house." I hung up and focused on driving, the last thing we needed was a totaled car and more hospital bills. Bills, the bills from this incident were going to be astounding. Not that it mattered, it was all things that Callie needed, if it made her better I would do anything.

I drove home from the hospital hoping that Jesus was feeling better so I could go home and take a shower, maybe after a shower I can help Jesus clean up whatever he broke and then sleep. I don't know how I felt tired right now, but I suddenly felt exhausted. I made it home and listened to the rock music pumping out of our garage, I went to the side door and stepped inside. Jesus was in there attacking an old punching bag furiously, I leaned in further so he could see me.

"Hey Mommy." He said softly. "You look tired." He wiped his face on his shirt and continued bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Yeah Callie had a rough night, but she's doing a little better." I answered honestly, Jesus nodded and tears welled up in his eyes. "How are you doing baby?"

"I broke a lot of stuff, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Momma won't be home until tonight, we'll clean it up before then, alright buddy?" He stepped closer and threw his arms around me, I was suddenly glad I was out of the hospital this kind of love was what I needed. I held tight to Jesus and tried to focus on his needs, give him the attention he deserved.

"I'm going to stay out here for a little while." Jesus said giving me a little squeeze.

"Okay. These next few weeks are going to be different around here and Momma and I are going to need a lot of help so please try and keep your temper in check. I know it's easier said than done but try and make it a priority right now." Jesus nodded and got back to work attacking the punching bag. I closed the door as I left and stood on the front porch of the house, the last time I was here was only yesterday morning.

It felt like another life time, it may be considered another lifetime. The family certainly won't be the same, an image of us sitting around the dining table without Callie burst into my head. It make my throat close and my chest hurt, it wasn't something I wanted to imagine. I let myself in my house and Mike poked his head out from the dining room, he had a broom in hand and the standard Mike smile was stretched across his face.

"Hey, do you need a drink? Some food?" He asked propping up the broom against a chair.

"No, thank you though. You don't have to clean that up." I gestured towards the broken glass, it had been so long since a Jesus episode that we had accumulated plenty of breakable items.

"Don't worry about it, you should go upstairs and rest." I got ready to argue with him but he had already guided me towards the stairs. "Go. Jude probably wants a hug from you though, he's pretty shaken up." I nodded and walked up the stairs, I reached the top and saw a freshly patched hole in the wall below where Callie's photo used to be. I sighed and knocked on Mariana's door.

"Yes?" Her voice called out.

"It's mom, I'm coming in." I announced, I opened the door and arms wrapped tightly around my waist. Jude practically threw himself at me, I hugged him back tightly and the anxieties I had about Callie slowly melted away.

"I missed you, is Momma home too?" He asked into my shirt.

"No, she's staying with Callie and I'll switch with her tonight. Is that okay?" He nodded, Mariana waited for Jude to let go before hugging me too. "I missed you babies, what have you been up to? Still in your pajamas I see." I said raising an eyebrow towards Jude, his cheeks reddened.

"I made some cards and pictures for Callie, Mariana helped." Jude jogged over to Callie's desk and picked up a stack of papers. "You can take them to her when you go back tonight. Has she asked about me?"

"I will definitely take these back with me. Callie is still asleep, the doctors want to keep her that way so her brain has time to get better, but I'm sure she'll ask about you when they wake her up." I said kissing the top of his head. "I heard Jesus had a rough morning, did he break anything of yours?" Jude shook his head. "Alright, I've been up all night, I'm going to check on Brandon and take a shower are you guys okay?"

"Yeah, do you think Jesus will be okay if I go hang out with him?" Jude asked softly.

"You'd have to ask him, he's pretty upset so don't feel bad if he says no, okay?" I walked to the end of the hall where you could hear Brandon's keyboard pounding, I walked into his room and he looked up from his Casio.

"Hey mom." He looked run down, exhausted. "How's Callie?"

"She's doing better, not great, but better." I answered honestly.

"Well that's good right?" I nodded and he smiled a little. "I think Callie's backpack is still at school and that had her iPod so I erased my old one and filled it with all types of music I think she may like. You could also take her the guitar, it's downstairs, she'd probably love that." Brandon handed me an iPod with a cord wrapped around it and started towards the door.

"No B, Callie's not doing that kind of good. She's in a coma buddy, medically induced, the music is great, but it's going to be a while before she can play again. Okay?" Brandon nodded and sat back down glumly.

"When can we visit?"

"Soon." I promised, Brandon seemed to be itching to get back to playing his keyboard in solitude, I excused myself and closed his door softly behind me as I left. I looked in Jesus and Jude's room to inspect the damage, it wasn't good, but it wasn't horrible. Jesus was going to have to save up his allowance to replace his laptop and some of his nicer things, but other than that it would be okay.

I went into my room and blasted the hot water, the shower was amazing and cleared my head when it suddenly felt as though I had been punched in the stomach. It was heart wrenching to watch my daughter fight for her life, Emma's parents had to be incapacitated with pain.

Jude

I made sure all my nails were dry before heading to the garage outside. Jesus was in there working out, singing along with the lyrics pumping out of the stereo. He didn't look up as I walked in, I looked at all the weights and realized I had no idea how to use any of them. "Sorry if I broke your stuff." Jesus said behind me, I jumped a little and tried to look tough.

"It's okay, I promise." I picked up a dumbbell, twelve pounds was heavier than I expected.

"Here use this one." Jesus handed me a lighter weight. "Like this." We did a few reps together, Jesus talking every once and a while to help me with my form.

"Sorry about Emma." I said finally. "I really liked her."

"Yeah, me too." Jesus said without looking at me. "I hope Callie is okay."

"Yeah, me too." I repeated back at him. We didn't say anything. "Callie used to get mad like you did, she trashed her bedroom when she found out our mom died." Jesus didn't say anything. "I don't usually get mad like that though, I pushed you, I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't be sorry." He said quickly. "You had every right to be upset, I didn't break that stuff just because of Emma. I was mad about Callie, I can't imagine losing her, I just thought, 'if losing Emma hurts so much what would it feel like if Callie was gone too?' and I snapped." Jesus picked up heavier weights and kept going. "But you should probably work out more, you push like a kindergartner." I couldn't help it and smiled.

"Here's a deal, either of us get mad or sad or scared or whatever, we bring the other to come work out. Okay?" I said as the idea formed in my mind.

"Deal, but I'll always be able to lift more than you." I rolled my eyes and he shoved me gently. "Thanks, Jude." He whispered, I don't know if I was supposed to be able to hear his say it so I just nodded in time with the music and finished the last five minutes of his work out with him.

We went back into the house and cleaned up our room, Mom was sleeping and with the news of Callie's improvement in the house everything lightened just a little. Things could go back to the way they were, it wasn't impossible, it was unlikely, but it wasn't impossible.

Stef

I woke up as my phone went off, I fumbled around with it, something had to have happened to Callie. Where the hell was my phone, I ripped the covers back from my bed, maybe it was just another seizure, we could deal with that. I found my phone and squinted at the harsh light, it took me a minute to understand that it was just my alarm and not Lena calling. I shut it off and covered my face with my pillow, I don't know if I am ready for another night of worrying.

I called Lena, she answered right away. "Hey Stef." I couldn't tell if she was tired or worried, maybe it was both.

"Hey, how's Callie?"

"She's doing better, her heart rate has improved, she hasn't had another seizure. How are the kids?"

"Great, we cleaned up the boys room it wasn't too bad and Jesus knows he has to replace what he broke. He and Jude have been hanging out, it's pretty adorable. The kids all made Callie something so I'll bring it tonight. How are you doing?"

"I'm tired, I'm ready to see my other babies, but I know how you felt, I'm not ready to leave Callie." I turned on the lamp beside our bed and started to get dressed.

"Yeah I know. Do you know how long Callie will be in the ICU?"

"I have no idea, How long until you get here?"

"Probably an hour, are you okay?" There was silence. "Lena?"

"I'm just worried." She finally said. "We aren't going to see much of each other these next few months."

"We'll figure it out." That was all I could think of, because it was true. I had no idea how our family was going to handle having one parent home at a time when we had to be there for Callie and even after that how were we going to help Callie at home? "I'll see you soon, okay?"

We said our goodbyes and I got ready for a night in the hospital, I couldn't help but feel like this was going to become a normal routine for me. I kissed all the kids good-night and got back into my car, I brought all the pictures and cards the kids had made for Callie and was excited to see how much better she was doing, even if it was just a few numbers on a heart monitor.

I reentered the sterile hospital and followed the footprints I hadn't noticed before, I hadn't even realized the attempts at cheer they had covered every surface in. I don't even think I had put two and two together that Callie was in a children's hospital, I entered the ICU and all the color evaporated. Everything was cold, clean, and professional. I smiled at the nurse at the front desk and walked over to Callie's room, Lena jumped up and hugged me. I assured her that Mike had everything under control at home and there was no work for her to do when she got there. All she had to do was get home safely, take a shower, and go to bed. We carefully arranged all of Callie's cards on her bedside table and checked in with her doctor before he went home for the night. Things were looking better, that's all we knew, but it was great.

Lena stood in Callie's doorway trying to think up every excuse not to leave, we stood outside Callie's room and tried to fit in five minutes of mom time before we parted ways when Lena's eyes widened. I spun around to check on Callie through the glass, she was seizing again, her heart rate was plummeting. "We need help." I screamed and ran back into Callie's room, not again, not again.

The doctor working the night shift came in and we could tell right away that something had changed. Callie was getting worse so fast something had to have gone wrong, no matter how many drugs they pushed into Callie's IV she didn't stop seizing. "Her brain is swelling, we're taking her into surgery." She called out and Callie was wheeled away before we could say goodbye.

"What are we supposed to do?" Lena asked to the empty room.

"You can still go home if you want, you deserve a full nights sleep." I mumbled.

"Stefanie there is no way I'm sleeping tonight. Let's go to the waiting room, we'll keep each other company. I'm sure Callie will be alright." I nodded and we went back to sitting in the dreadful room of chairs and suppressed emotions. "I'm going to call Mike and tell him what happened." Lena said quietly excusing herself.

I stared at the TV in the corner of the room, there were two other families in here waiting with us. Just as Lena sat down a nurse came in and brought us back to the private room down the hall, she stated someone would be with us soon and started to walk away. "Do you know anything about how Callie is doing?" I asked before she could close the door.

"No, I'm sorry, but someone who does will be here soon." I nodded and stood beside Lena.

"It's going to be okay." Lena whispered to herself over and over as if that would have some effect on the outcome of Callie's most recent surgery. By the time a doctor arrived to talk to us I had convinced myself that the worst had truly happened.

"Callie's doing alright." He opened with, Lena broke down in tears and I wrapped an arm around her. She hadn't slept for almost two days and this was just adding on to the absurd amount of stress she was feeling, she was responsible for every student that was in that school and they had just been targeted in the worst way. "She had a seizure, on some level we expect those with the extent of her brain injury. What worried us was the rapid swelling of her brain, we performed another CAT scan and saw that the bullet fragment that had been in her cerebellum had traveled and was placing pressure on her brain stem. We removed it, the swelling has stopped, Callie is doing much better. We're going to keep her in a medically induced coma for two weeks and closely monitor her. She'll be out in an hour, the movement of the fragment caused minor bleeding, nothing to be worried about."

"Thank you, thank you so much." Lena sniffled.

"You can wait here or back in the ICU, I'll let you know if anything else happens, but she's already doing much better." The mood in the room lifted drastically. He excused himself and Lena and I were left there alone.

"You really need some sleep." I said drying her face and hugging her tightly. "I'm going to call Mike to come pick you up in an hour, you can see Callie and make sure she's alright, but you're going to drive yourself crazy staying here for days at a time. Okay?" Lena nodded.

"We should go wait in her room." She said gathering herself and tying her hair up. We waited in Callie's room and almost exactly an hour later they brought her back in, she looked exactly the same as when she left, but everything around her seemed so fragile.

Mike called and Lena kissed Callie and I goodnight before leaving us for the night. There was no way I would get any sleep tonight, I trusted these surgeons with my daughter's life and I would continue to, but Callie had scared me enough over the past two days that I was going to worry about her for years.

I know this chapter wasn't as packed with drama, but I hope you guys continue to read! Thanks for reading this far, have a great 2015!

-Kodi