Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.
Gone Girl
Chapter 4
The shadows curved across my field of vision at irregular intervals. Flashing light and the loud "tickity-tickity-tickity" followed. I panicked every time it happened even though I knew what it was. I had parked the car under a bypass to get some rest and close my eyes. However, every time someone drove over the bridge my eyes shot open and my heart raced out of my chest.
"She's here. She's coming." My body would sound the alarm in my head, adrenaline would kick in, but instead of triggering a fight or flight response, I would only freeze in place. I grew catatonic. I should have moved away from that damned spot but my brain fogged up with exhaustion. The thought of moving a pinky tired me out.
I would drift off momentarily, still clutching the steering wheel, then the shadows would pass over my face. "Tickity-tickity-tickity." Fear gripped my heart in its clutches, glueing my eyes open.
Now I was afraid. Finally.
I'm not sure how long I sat there repeating the hellish cycle of sleep pulling me under the water and fear snatching me out a moment later. Over and over again.
Eventually the sun rose and the shadows vanished. I gulped a huge breath of cold air. God, was I holding my breath? My hands were purple and unfamiliar. I unwrapped my fingers around the key in my hand. Indents of the key were left in my palm. Dark blood oozed out. I'm not sure if it was from my knife the other day or from gripping the key too tightly against the steering wheel.
I twisted the key in the ignition. Instead of the smooth purr from the engine, I heard a long scratch, like fingernails on chalkboard.
I swiveled my head towards the sound. It was coming from the passenger side door.
I shook my head. I was imagining things. Nothing was there. I was just startled from all the things that go bump in the night. But I couldn't stop the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I turned the key in the ignition again. I heard something click, and then nothing.
No no no no.
The drawn out scratching sound continued only this time I couldn't hear where it was coming from. I glanced warily over to the passenger side. Nothing.
I dared to look to my left out my window while holding my breath. Just concrete and some sparse grass. A small relief.
Nails on chalkboard rang in my head now. It was coming from all sides.
"It's just in my head. It's just in my head." I chanted and closed my eyes, but I was scared of the darkness there behind my eyelids. I snapped my eyes open. The scratching sound was wrapping around the car and rattling in my brain.
I felt something move behind me and my breath caught in my throat.
Slowly, as if time were being funneled through molasses, I turned my head to the back seat. My hair gently shifted around my neck and my breath came out shallow and oddly loud. My heart thudded in my chest. My eyes wouldn't move so I had to turn my whole body around.
I couldn't stop now. I had to look.
I screamed with all the air in my lungs. No sound was made.
There on the back window, written in blood, "Bella."
Blood dribbled down, skewing the letters. A single drop landed onto the back head rests. She wrote this from inside the car.
Victoria had been in the car.
I felt bile move up my throat. My left hand gripped the car door and I swung it open.
I was outside and I couldn't remember moving to get there.
I looked around me then yelled up to the sky. "Just do it!" My voice cracked, my throat felt like flaky paper.
Why? Why was I still alive? I was right there, petrified in the driver's seat. She could have ended it there.
No no no no.
I turned back to the car and my heart stopped. The car was gone.
I didn't even hear it leave. I was so disoriented. Sleep deprivation was clouding my senses. I didn't even know where I was. What was happening? I felt woozy.
My knees collapsed and I fell forward onto my hands. My right arm touched something cold. I glanced up.
A small red light blinked at me. It was a camera.
No. Not just a camera. THE camera. The same one that James stuck in my face in the ballet studio. The camera that recorded my idiotic attempt at saving my mother. The camera that James used to anger my boyfriend so he could have a real fight.
I fumbled in my pocket for my knife. I thought this stupid thing had been smashed. I couldn't fight a vampire. I couldn't stop my death, but I was going to stab this fucking camcorder as if it was the last thing I did.
It would be, probably.
I finally gripped the knife in my pocket. It felt strange in my hand.
The scratching continued. Louder. Closer.
No no no no.
Not until I stopped the camcorder. It blinked at me, mockingly.
I growled and flipped the knife out of my pocket. It skidded across the concrete.
I lunged after it. The pocket knife bounced between my hands. I tried to open the blade, but the hinges weren't working.
God. Damn. Open. Up. My hands gripped the edges on the blade. I tried to rip it open, but it wouldn't budge.
The red light continued to blink. I growled and rose shakily to my feet. I smashed my foot on the device. It just rolled away. I picked it up and threw it against the concrete. The camera just bounced. The eye of it somehow was always pointed in my direction. I grabbed it and held it up to my face. I turned it over to find the off button.
It had to be. . . no maybe it was right here. . .no. No. No. No.
My brain was too heavy. I had to be missing it. It was maybe under this wing? No.
I don't understand. Where was the the on/off button? I needed it to stop blinking. I needed it to stop recording.
I didn't understand how I was missing it. I gave up and tried twisted the shutter off. I gripped around the device and choked it, as if wringing its neck. My palms hurt with the effort. They were still so tender but I bit through the pain.
Die. Die. Die.
Tears sprang from my eyes from frustration. Oh my god. I sank to my knees. I was crying. I was finally crying. I almost wanted to laugh, but it hurt too much.
Water streamed down my face and I didn't try to stop it. I leaned into it. I didn't care.
I couldn't cry for all the normal things, but this dumb wretched unbreakable camera broke the spell.
Hot tears rolled over my nose and chin. I began sobbing uncontrollably. I was so damn tired. I was so terrified. It all came out in sticky tears.
I didn't care if the light still blinked. I didn't care about whatever was causing the scratching sound. My chest heaved up and down and I started wailing like I used to when I was 11 and I got the flu. I remember leaning against the cold tile floor of my mothers bathroom and moaning because I felt like death and I wanted someone to know it.
I felt like death now.
No one was around to hear me, but I couldn't stop my pleas.
I held the camcorder up to my face. My hands were wet with the tears I kept battling away and I had to concentrate to keep it in my grip.
James had wanted me to scream and I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.
I didn't care now what Victoria wanted. It didn't matter. I would give it to her. Did she want me to scream. I'd scream. Did she want me to make a rambling apology. I would do it.
All I could do right now was wail and moan and cry. It felt good to exhaust the tears out of my system.
From far away, barely audible above my cries, the scratching sound started up again.
"Run." Edward's familiar voice growled in my mind. I jumped. I had forgotten about the protective voice. I thought I had outrun that too. "Bella. Run." His tone was urgent. The voice sounded so real. So close.
I blinked away the tears, half expecting to see him in front of me.
Of course, he wasn't there. But another message in blood was.
"RUN." The letters spelled out on the underpass. The scratching ended. Now there was a knocking sound. I couldn't tell where it was coming from. A loud knocking. Like hard fists on rock.
"Go now." My head Edward roared.
Without even thinking about it, my legs carried me away. It felt like I was moving through pudding. Why was I moving so slowly? I was bad at running, sure, but my feet could barely move. Go faster. GO faster. I screamed to myself.
Where was I running to? I don't know.
Why was I running? I don't know.
I made it past the first empty building after what seemed like too long.
Was I being chased? If Victoria was truly after me, I couldn't outrun her. What was I running from? If I were to die, I wanted it to be quick.
I stopped trying to run and that's when I bolted faster. I felt a presence close in on me. I closed my eyes and waited.
Laughter echoed around me. The pitch was high and nasally. Unmistakably Victoria. I sunk down to the ground.
Grass was on either side of me. Not a concrete block or building in sight. Just an empty clearing. Oddly familiar. How? How did I get here?
I had to be drugged. There was something in the muffins.
What muffins? I hadn't eating anything for a day or two.
Oh god. I started itching, feeling frantic.
All I could hear was my heart thudding loudly in my chest. It echoed in my ear, so loudly. I was too tired to go on.
I let my eyes close. I was scared of the darkness behind them but I let it pull me under. Take me. Take me. Take me.
I felt like I had been plunged in icy water. I held my breath, sure of it. Goosebumps raised on my skin and I felt myself sink.
No. I wasn't sinking in water. I was falling.
My gut wrenched and my body jolted.
I blinked my eyes awake and gasped out in panic. I had been asleep. "Tickity-tickity-tickity." The sound of tires on the overpass. No, no, no, no.
It was a dream? No. It wasn't, I was sure of it. Wind whipped my hair across my face.
"Tickity-tickity-tickity."
It wasn't coming from above me. I felt the vibrations through me from my feet. I was on the bridge. I was standing on the bridge now. Cars were zooming past me. How? How did I get here?
My limbs were sore and my neck was tight like I got a bad night's sleep. The sun was shining brightly now. I still felt so cold. Like ice.
My arms felt like rubber. I glanced down at my hands. Something was off. Oh god. The camcorder was in my hand. The red light blinked.
Reality started to slip. I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or awake. My body didn't feel like my own.
I was standing by the edge. My feet were inches away. I looked down 50 feet below me into deep inviting water. I tried to remember if water was here before, but my brain dragged me through molasses as I tried to pull on memories.
I could jump.
Yes, I could jump.
I gazed at the eye of the camera. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink.
Is this what she wanted?
"Tickity-tickity-tickity."
Did she want me to jump and film it?
The Edward in my head started to growl. "Bella, don't."
I stepped closer to the edge. A few pebbles rolled out from my foot and dropped into the water.
"Bella, step back." God, I loved his voice. Did he really sound like that? So velvety and smooth. A musical instrument like no other. I felt my lips crack as I turned them up into a small grin.
I nudged closer and the growl grew louder. Was I really awake?
What did that even mean anymore?
Awake. Asleep. Alive or Dead. I felt like I was riding the line between them all. Schrodingers cat. I was the cat. Wouldn't it be better if the cat just killed itself? Instead of living with uncertainty.
My toes peeked over the edge. The water was raging underneath. Maybe I wouldn't drown. Maybe I could wake up. Yes. Yes. I could wake up. I was sure of it. I needed to jump. It was the only thing. Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP.
Or maybe I would die.
What's the difference?
I took a deep breath and held my arms up to the side.
I leaned forward and let gravity tip me over. My body fell gracefully downwards as if in slow motion.
Oh, I wasn't waking up. This wasn't the jolt I needed. No, I was plummeting towards rushing water like a feather. The Edward in my head was oddly silent. Instead a loud nasally cackling enveloped my ears. It was the last thing I heard as my body slammed into the blue.
My head hit the dashboard.
"Oh." I gasped.
"Tickity-tickity-tickity." Cars overhead. I was in the driver's seat again under the bypass. Or maybe I never left.
"NONONONONO." I cried out and shook my head. I screamed hysterically.
The key in my hand, I jammed it into the ignition and miraculously the car started.
Fuck it. I gunned down on the gas. I had to get out of here. I had to get away from that awful wretched bridge. I speed back onto the ramp for the highway.
I let out a deep sigh. Ok. I was on the road. I could do this. Just don't fall asleep again. I couldn't get pulled under. I had to stay awake. I tried to hold reality up like a bed sheet. It kept slipping but I was on the road now. I was running again.
I checked my rearview mirror and time stopped around me.
B.E.L.L.A. Written in blood on my back window.