Wedded Bliss?
Chapter 4
I do not own Ranma1/2 or Sailor Moon or Destroy all Humans. This fic is written for fun
Akane Tendo was in rare form as she slowly walked to school that day. Her former fiancé was gone for good; had been for two days, and she was of mixed feelings about that. Nabiki had already left for school, so for the first time in many months she could walk to school alone. Which did feel kind of odd to her, but she pushed said thoughts down.
A bell ringing was the only warning she had before a bike dropped out of the sky and landed beside her. It hit with a thump and crashed .She walked over to see Shampoo glaring at her.
"Where Airen? Pervert girl scare him off finally? Shampoo have too too delicious ramen for him to eat. Not toxic waste you make."
Akane glared at the girl and stomped off. She did NOT need to be reminded of what had happened. To think the bastard had gotten some girl pregnant. The horror of it, to be so embarrassed at school by such an act on his part. She was his fiancée, not some cute bimbo from another ward. He should have remained true to her. Well, might have been the influence of the Nekoken. After all, tomcats did stray from female cat to cat… I wonder how long his marriage will last before he gets another bitch pregnant.
A melon mace slammed into the wall besides her head Akane slowly turned to see a fuming Shampoo looking at her. "Pervert girl speak when Shampoo talk to her or Shampoo beat very badly."
Akane slowly walked up to the purple haired Amazon who was smirking. Now the bitch will know her place! She shouldn't have tried to steal my husband in the first place! Stupid foreigner girl should know better than stand in the way of an Amazon!
Akane's answer was a swift punch to the stomach that doubled Shampoo over, surprising the Amazon that she had let her guard down enough to allow the Kitchen Destroyer to do such. A spin kick drove the Amazon into a nearby wall. Shampoo blinked and started to pick herself up when Akane's fist met her chin twice. Shampoo stared at her when Akane spoke.
"Shut the hell up! Your precious Airen is already married to another girl. He got the bitch pregnant and she is having his bastard child…so…leave…me…alone!"
Akane put emphasis on each of the last words by driving her fist into Shampoos stomach with each word. She then turned; walked over, picked the mace Shampoo had thrown at her, and broke the handle in half. She then turned and headed off to school in a bit more of a hurry since Shampoo had made her a bit late.
Shampoo coughed and stared, feeling the pain of each shot, even though she had been through the Bakusai Tenketsu training. She had no idea Akane was that good, sure she had her guard down but still, this did not bode well. Seemed the plan she and Ukyo had cooked up had worked all too well. Akane and Ranma had been getting too close for her taste, especially after Saffron. She hoped her great grandmother would not be too angry, but she had to get Ranma for the tribe. His strength complemented her own. Yes, he wasn't a proper Amazon male, but she could train him. He was a male; it shouldn't be too much trouble. Hell, his curse would have placed him above all males in the village.
She got on her bike and left all the while a certain white duck watched what had happened. Silently he left the area. If possible with his beak, he would have smiled.
Ukyo waited, at the entrance to Furinken high, for Ranma to show up. He hadn't visited her place yesterday or the Nekohanten, so she wanted to see if he was all right. She saw Akane slowly walking towards the school alone and a silent alarm bell went off in her head. She walked over to the blue haired girl and growled. "All right, you jackass, what did you do with my Ranchan?"
Ukyo took a few steps back from the glare she got as Akane silently walked into the school. A shiver went up her spine from the look. Looks like Mt. St. Akane is ready to blow her top. I'll ask Nabiki at lunch what's going on.
But not because Akane scares me. Certainly not.
Ranma walked alongside of Makoto as they headed for Juuban high. Yes he was married to her but…he still had feelings for Ukyo, Shampoo, and even...Akane. He sighed at how life treated him, but honor demanded that he treat Makoto here fairly. After all, he wasn't the damn panda, now was he?
In a way, his life was somewhat simpler. Since none of his father's agreements had any validity, he was free of all marriage agreements...well, all except this one that his mother made. She had also told him not to worry about the Amazons, as she was prepared to deal with them as well. Yeah, like they'd ever listen, even if she is a woman and in charge.
He was wearing a uniform for the first time, but he had on fishnet tank top underneath, it had black fabric sown into it in two strategic locations so that, if he were to get wet, the other boys wouldn't get a free show. His mother had told him that it was only proper and, with a smile and a wink, that only Makoto should be allowed that view if she was so inclined.
Ranma had remembered the blush the girl he was married too had given at that comment. Funny thing was...it matched his own. So, with bento in hand, he walked into the schoolyard.
He was on the defensive from step one. Eyes and ki sense scanning the area for crazy gymnasts, insane kendoists, nutty principals, ki vampire teachers... You name it, he was looking for it.
However, it failed to pick up something else, perhaps the most dangerous thing on this planet.
Ranma heard a rushing noise and turned, only be flattened by a blur. He last thing he heard the blur scream was, "I'm going to be late!"
That's a first. I was attacked by a girl, and she wasn't even aiming for me...I hope.
Makoto and a few other students helped Ranma up. "Sorry about that," one student said. "But Usagi moves like a train when she is late…funny thing though, this is the first time I've ever seen her arrive early."
Ranma nodded, silencing knowing why she had arrived early: his damn luck. "Thanks for the help. It looks like I've fallen though the looking glass. Name's Ranma Saotome, sorry about this. I'm starting school here."
"Hideki Hojo," the male student said, returning Ranma's bow. "But you don't have to apologize for anything, since you have done nothing wrong."
Ranma smiled sheepishly and scratched the base of his neck. "Well not yet…trouble seems to follow me around. I never start it, but well, I usually have to finish it."
A few of the students nodded. "Don't worry about it. Worry about it when the trouble finds you. Then you may have help dealing with it."
Makoto felt a tap on her shoulder "Yes?"
She noted it was a few girls from her class; the leader had a mischievous smile on her face." So, Makoto, want to introduce us to the new guy? Though it seems you are already familiar with him"
Makoto giggled. "That's just my husband, Ranma Saotome. Sure, I'll introduce him to you, just hands off. He is like I said: my husband."
The girls stared at her. "You have to be kidding me? How did you snag such a nice specimen?"
"Arranged marriage when we were children. My mother in law told me about it. I thought to go through with it since my mother helped to arrange me and…I…"
The girl put a hand on Makoto's shoulder. "I understand, you can tell us all of the details of your honeymoon later. But now, you should show him to Meio-sensei to see what class he has to go too."
Setsuna regarded Ranma over steeped fingers trying her best to hide the smile that wanted to come out, while maintaining the appearance of Gendo from Evangelion for optimal intimidation effect. She knew all about his past, but wanted to confirm a few things first. "A water based curse? I will need visual evidence, Mr. Saotome."
Ranma nodded. "Yeah, I'll need a few glasses of water; a couple of hot and a couple of cold, so I can show you...and a towel."
She touched her intercom and added the PE teacher, principle and vice principal to the list.
Much later the people there stared as Ranma turned back into a guy. He put the uniform top back on as the PE teacher spoke. "Well it wouldn't be fair to him to use the boys' showers. I know what I was like at that age, so…you have permission to use the teacher's showers, but do not abuse it." The other two people nodded as well.
"I know this is difficult for you, Ranma. You may need to take the sexual education course for women as well. That way, you know what your body is doing in either form."
The principal nodded then chuckled. "Well, I can safely say we do have an honest to goodness magical girl going to our school."
Setsuna smiled at that. "However, I doubt if you could get him to wear one of their fukus, though his wife might for some fun at home."
All three of them looked at her. The principle decided to speak first. "His wife? I was unaware you're married." He grabbed his file from the desk and began going through it again, silently deciding to go and change the entrance application for the school. Juuban was getting too weird. Maybe I should look into the application they use in Nerima?
Ranma nodded but Setsuna spoke for him. "Yes, he and Makoto Kino—now Saotome—were recently married .It was arranged by his mother Nodoka and Makoto's late mother some time ago, if I understand correctly."
"Well as long as they keep their grades up…and behave themselves on school grounds, there should be no trouble. Though if you get Makoto in a family way…be sure you are ready for it son."
The principal looked at Setsuna. "Since he will be taking the Sex Ed courses and homebuilding; arrange for Makoto to be his wife during that. It would make it easier for the both of them." He turned to face Ranma, a grin on his face. "It wouldn't do for him to start cheating so early in the marriage."
Setsuna nodded—ignoring the face fault that Ranma performed at hearing that comment—and reached under her desk as the men departed. She handed Ranma some sheets of paper. "Please do what you can on this test. I'm sure we will get your records from Furinken eventually, but…there's no telling what that coconut will put on or in your file. And rest assured, we have a low tolerance for idiots like those that were employed at you old school."
Ukyo kept glancing over at Akane from time to time. A few of the other students kept passing her notes and she would look at them then tear them apart. She noted her anger building and tried to scoot her desk away during the teacher shift. Miss Hinako skipped in and looked around. The diminutive ki vampire pulled the roll book out and started taking roll. She got to the name Ranma Saotome when the real fun started.
"Ranma Saotome. Ranma Saotome! Would someone please wake Mr. Saotome up so he can answer roll? "
"Miss Hinako, Ranma isn't here today." one student said, then quickly became quiet.
She looked at him then at Akane. "Well, Miss Tendo, do you know where your wayward fiancé is?"
Akane was quiet with her eyes closed. "Miss Tendo, where is Ranma Saotome. Answer me, now!"
Her eyes shot open and a red battle aura erupted around the girl. "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE THAT SEX CHANGING BASTARD IS! HE IS GOING TO JUUBAN HIGH SO HE CAN BE WITH THE FUCKING SLUT HE MARRIED AND KNOCKED UP. SO...LEAVE...ME...THE...HELL...ALONE!"
Akane slumped down to her desk as Hinako drained her. She was shocked at her outburst and looked over at Ukyo, now in her full adult form. "Miss Kuonji, is what she saying true? Miss Kuonji?"
Ukyo could only stare in horror at what Akane had said. Ranma was gone? He had married another girl, other than herself—his cute fiancée—and he had gotten said girl pregnant? She needed info and she needed it soon. Akane slowly came to, and the students began pestering her with questions. Her anger built once more.
"THE BASTARD FUCKING KNOCKED HER UP! YES, HE FUCKING CHEATED ON ME; SO NODOKA MADE HIM MARRY THE SLUT. SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Now Ukyo blanched. Damn it, Shampoo's plan wasn't supposed to work this way! Yeah, push Akane's buttons by telling her that her fears of Ranma being unfaithful were true. But this? Shit, to find out it is true? Need to talk to Nabiki and soon.
Nabiki beat her head repeatedly against the surface of her desk as her sister's screaming was heard in her classroom and possibly the whole school. The image of her in a Mc Donald's uniform wouldn't leave her mind. Got to tell Nodoka and fast! These idiots will definitely believe what the youngest family idiot has blurted out.
A shadow crossed her desk and she looked up.
Kuno stood there gazing at her. "Tell me, Nabiki, is it true? Hath the foul sorcerer Saotome ensnared a pure maiden's heart and gotten her with child?"
She slowly gathered her wits and looked at him. Keep it up sis, and I'll tell daddy a rich boy is interested in not only dating but also marrying you. If you know what's good for you, Akane, shut up or Kuno will be your husband. Hell, you deserve each other. I wouldn't want to torture poor Ryoga with you. Not fair to the pig.
Well, I shouldn't say that. The pig might make things worse for me and Kasumi.
Nabiki finally spoke. "No, he did not, what Ranma did to piss my sister off is accept an arranged marriage his mother had made for him. Genma is not clan head and may not make any arrangements for Ranma in this regard. He never has had that power. As for Ranma knocking some poor innocent girl up: no chance, they met the day he married her."
Kuno stared at her, as did the other students. "Yea, doth the very heavens weep this day. But fear not for I: Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinken High, shall avenge the honor of the fair maiden Saotome's lusts has sullied. I commission thee, Nabiki Tendo, to discern the location of the fiend so I might smite him heavily."
All were surprised when Nabiki simply stood up, gathered her books, kicked Kuno square in the crotch, and left. Forget school, warning her is more important. I WILL NOT BE A FRY GIRL!
"Look; I keep telling you I get lost."
The man in a black suit regarded Ryoga Hibiki in his cell. "Yeah right, I'll bet, huh, Yuri."
"My name is Ryoga Hibiki, I live in Japan, but I have a curse that gets me lost."
"Tell that to someone who cares, Yuri. Maybe like your friend in the opposite cell? You will stay here until you tell me how you broke through the security surrounding this place. See you later, Yuri."
Ryoga sighed as the man wearing black walked away. How was he supposed to know that Juuban had a highly top secret American air force base in the middle of a desert? He sighed dejectedly; the breaking point technique was less than useless against the electrified bars that enclosed him and the bald guys? Well, they scared him. Something was definitely not right about them. Damn you Ranma this is all your fault!
He looked at the cell across from him when the figure in there moved to get a better look at him. It was three feet tall, had a large head with black almond shaped eyes, four fingered hands and wore a silver jumpsuit. It was held in a cell similar to the one he was in and looked pissed.
"GREAT KAMI-SAMA! A little green man from Mars!"
The figure looked at him and seemed to get even angrier. "Look, you color blind monkey!" it said. "I am NOT green and I am most definitely NOT from Mars. By the way; who the Hell is this Ranma person and how the Hell can it be his fault you are in this mess?"
Nodoka sighed heavily and hung the telephone up. Nabiki had just contacted her and alerted her to a few things. The fathers were Hell bent on getting Ranma married to a Tendo girl, and it seems the youngest Tendo was doing damage in her own way. Well…she had to admit to herself that while forbidding Nabiki from selling the info on where Ranma was, she had gotten it on her own for her own use. "Clever girl," Nodoka smirked. If things turned out as they might, she may ask Ranma if he would mind an official mistress; especially if what she suspected about Makoto was true.
The universe wasn't quite certain why that thought didn't make her break out in her usual grandchildren dance, but it knew it had to correct for that error.
Now, twelve more Hibiki's were descending on Area 51.
Balance had been restored.
It was the cell phone Nodoka had found on her daughter-in-law that raised her suspicion. She knew that there were none that offered two way video conferencing with the clarity of image that it did. She should know; they owned several companies that manufactured the best models.
It would also explain why she wasn't surprised at her comments about her demon-hunting heritage: she was carrying it on in her own way.
Nodoka smirked at the thought of how Ranma would react to seeing his wife in the sailor fuku…if her suspicions proved true. Also, having the middle Tendo girl in the family as a mistress would help Ranma, since she had a good head on her shoulders, but…it was the actions of the youngest that worried her. Yes, damage control would be needed, but the only real threat may be the Amazons.
The Kuonji's were easily checkmated. Certainly they were a ninja clan. But, they were neither the only clan nor the most powerful. And as far as she knew, neither Ukyo nor her father had ever disputed Genma's claim of telling them beforehand that Ranma was already taken. If anything, Ukyo might need a new family. She would have to talk to her father about adopting Ukyo, thus fulfilling their agreement, and giving the child a fresh start.
Or maybe not. It really depended on what moves the young Kuonji made next.
The Kunos…well, they had the money and resources to be pests, but they also could be checkmated. A few charges of sexual assault from a higher placed family, as well as assault with intent to kill, and the wedding incident where Tatewaki had actually drawn steel... She doubted they were insane enough to risk blood feud with her clan, but if they were…
The gene pool, in that area, could use some chlorine.
She picked the telephone up one more time. She had a few calls to make and needed to make them soon.
Makoto was doing her very best not to blush at the comments her classmates had been making. Even Naru had been embarrassing her from her questions but she knew it was in good fun after all Naru was Ranma's cousin. Makoto had to giggle at Usagi's reaction to finding out she had run over Ranma like she had. The blond defender of justice kept apologizing to her and such about what had happened, Minako had offered to sit with Ranma and take care of him while he healed, Ami merely smiled at that and mentioned that Nodoka may frown on it since Makoto could do the same.
If they only knew.
The tall Senshi giggled at that when she heard two polite coughs. She turned and came face to face with Haruka and Michiru. Haruka was smiling evilly and Michiru had a smirk on her face as the Senshi of Uranus asked a loaded question.
"So Mako-chan, who is this Ranma person you are talking about? Some boy that you and Minako have noticed?"
Makoto was very nervous now. She knew what Haruka's and Michiru's tastes were like and she knew very well what her husband looked like when he was female—she couldn't believe how well endowed he was. Need to teach him some feminine modesty.
She was brought out of her musings by Usagi's reply. "Oh, he isn't some boy Makoto is mooning over, he's her husband."
Haruka did a spit take at Michiru raised an eyebrow. While the blond was coughing, the Senshi of Neptune spoke. "Oh? How unusual. How did that happen?"
"It was something my mother and Ranma's mother decided to do. They made an agreement that Ranma and I would marry on the day we turned 16. There was a provision that it could be annulled if we had found someone else by then."
Michiru nodded at that. "Interesting. So how did Setsuna take the fact that you are married? And if from what I have discerned from the local gossip mongers is true, the fact that he is apparently a new student here?"
Makoto smiled. "Well she was fine with it. She didn't tell me why she was fine with it, but she said that she had no problem with us being married."
The Senshi stopped talking and looked at Makoto. "You met Setsuna outside of school and she knew about the marriage and said she was fine with it?" Minako asked.
"Yes, she did, though it was hidden with what she said to Nodoka-san. So I am now Makoto Saotome."
Haruka jerked at that. "Nodoka Saotome? Red head, about as tall as me, wears a kimono all of the time, and seems like a noble lady?"
Makoto nodded as Haruka shook her head. "I have to meet her!"
"Why?" asked Michiru. She better not be planning on inviting her to join our games.
"Remember that concert violinist you were gaga to meet, Michiru? Same with me meeting Nodoka, she is the Woman's National Kendo champion 3 years running. A chance to meet her? Yeah, I'd take it."
Makoto could only smile at that. "Sure I'll introduce you to her after school and—"
They all heard a female voice coming closer. "Touch me, and I'll make sure you CAN'T use that hand again. Got me?"
They turned to see a petite, large chested, redhead approaching them, wearing a wet boys uniform. She was carrying her bento and growling at the throng of boys bugging her as she trudged along towards the Senshi. Makoto winced at that and pulled out the thermos of hot water she had. Michiru raised a brow as Makoto walked over to her and gave her the thermos.
"Thanks." She said as she poured a cup of water over her head and changed forms to a male. A loud thunk could be heard as Michiru stared at a passed out Haruka, as well as several of the boys that were still hanging around Ranma and bugging his girl side for a date. "What's her problem?" Ranma asked, motioning towards Haruka.
Michiru shook her head. Well, looks like Haruka needs to be reminded about how I feel about her checking out the market. Though I believe what he just did will keep her nightmares...interesting.
Ukyo picked up the telephone and dialed a number she knew by heart. She hoped he was on the other end, because she had to have help with this.
"Hello Daddy? I need your help finding Ranma…he's left Nerima for Juuban and married someone…no not me…someone else….Nodoka made him marry her…I just need to know where he is…yeah, last name is still Saotome, though…hmm…no…yes, Father….I understand, Father…are you sure?…. I…Father, please…he is…yes, Father… I...I... I understand…"
Ukyo slowly hung the phone up as a tear came to her eye. She had been ordered to either get the marriage annulled and herself replaced as Ranma's wife or she was to kill him in revenge as well as kill Nodoka and Genma.
She slowly made her way over to her bed to wonder HOW things had gotten to that point.
Nabiki walked home slowly from school. She was dog tired from answering all of the questions the students and some of the faculty had put forth. A few of them still believed what Akane had said in class and wouldn't be dissuaded so there was no fixing the damage that had done. She looked over at her sister and spoke to her. "Do you realize what you have done?"
"Yes, told everyone what a bastard Ranma is," she replied, frostily.
"No, destroyed any future hopes you may have had."
"What do you mean, Nabiki? All I did was tell everyone what Ranma had done. He deserves the shit that is going his way. He had no cause to cheat on me."
Nabiki glared at Akane, her own anger building. "Look, sis, you have pissed Nodoka off at you, and she could ask Daddy to have you kicked out of the clan for the lies you just told."
Akane stared at her, paling a little. "What?"
"Yes, she could ask him to kick you out, or ask for your head, given you sullied her son's name by accusing him of something he didn't do. Just think about it for a second, before you shoot your mouth off. There's also the fact that the Saotome's are not a family to fuck with to begin with. You were there when she denied that remark, so we know he wasn't cheating on you, Genma just has no right to sell him to you."
"Yeah, right. Well, at least he is out of my life."
Nabiki shook her head and swore. Akane just didn't know how bad it could get. She looked towards the heavens. But I have a sinking feeling she will soon.
Nabiki was afraid—very afraid—of what would happen next. She just knew it would all fall on her, and any hopes she had for a profitable future.
Cologne sighed as she sipped her tea. Shampoo and Ukyo had tried to break Ranma away from Akane and succeeded. She knew the boy would never go back to the Tendo's willingly, not now. And the girl he was married to? Well…it would not bode well for Shampoo to attack her…not well at all. She knew whom he had married and what she did as an extracurricular activity. She very well knew what the Senshi of Jupiter was and what the Amazons were to her…one did not assault the Amazon queen with impunity. She had seen the ancient scrolls detailing the founding of the Amazon nation and Sailor Pluto did visit them from time to time to help them remember.
She would have to act soon before Shampoo was kicked out of the tribe or worse…
Tenma Saotome sat at his desk in contemplation. His grandson was back with the family and his lawyers were busily making sure Genma's name would be struck from the rolls and divorced from Nodoka. He still couldn't believe everything that man had done over the years…acting as head of the clan, stealing, mentally scarring Ranma, and slave trading… He had no idea the man would be this bad, but he should have known given how Genma joined the clan. Well, that was in the past, now for the present and future. He touched a button on the intercom.
"Please, have Misato come to my office."
He walked over to the window and waited as a youngish man walked in. Tenma looked at him. "How is the security at the Ganjiro apartments? "
"Very good sir. We have Security Systems Inc doing the groundwork for us. One guard at the desk and a surveillance team watching to be sure no one enters by other means."
Tenma nodded. "And Hikawa Shrine?"
"A team has swept the area and we will have one there this Sunday to secure the party; all should remain peaceful, sir."
"Good...good...you do excellent work. I also want one of our special units in place."
Misato's face hardened. "I understand sir. In case…"
"In case any of my grandson's enemies decide to crash the party. I will not have a repeat of what happened at the Tendo dojo, Misato…and if that means blood must be spilled… we are the Blood Dragon clan after all."
Misato Saotome bowed to his uncle as he left. He would make sure nothing would happen at his Cousin's party.
Omake:
Haruka closed the door to the house quietly.
Well, as quietly as a piss drunk Haruka could.
She pulled out a small black book from her pants pocket, opening it to the back page, before making two checks in it. When Haruka and Michiru had first hooked up, they had made a list of five people they could sleep with without consequences.
Tonight, Haruka had done two of them. She had checked off "top female kendo artist in Japan" and "top female kempo artist in all of Japan". She had slept with Nodoka and Ranma Saotome.
Not at the same time, mind you. That would be...weird. No, they were separate. Ranma and Nodoka were both a little drunk, but Ranma was apparently unable to hold her...his...whatever, their liquor very well.
Haruka slapped her head, almost loosing her balance, before opening the book back up and crossing out a third title: "a man".
She made her way downstairs, glad that Makoto had gone out of town for some cooking convention.
Of course, Haruka could deal without the pain in her pelvis.
Damn, who knew he was that good in both forms.
It was two months later the people of Juuban were treated to an interesting sight. Sailor Saturn was holding onto the pigtailed martial artist who had moved in three months earlier, as she kept calling him her new papa, while Sailor Uranus was chasing after him, holding her sword, and threatening to cut his...offending appendiage...off for knocking her up.
Several visitors from Nerima just looked, and continued shopping. The expected no less from Ranma.
Makoto, however, was busy discussing with her mother-in-law that she did not like the idea of Nodoka pimping out her husband to the other Senshi, no matter how manly it was.