Hello roomfriends! I apologize for the long delay – RL gets preferential treatment unfortunately. But I'm back, and excited to finish this story with you all!
Chapter 4
Nick felt himself falling further and further into confusion, replaying the argument in his mind. He rubbed his chin, squeezing his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger and stared seemingly through the wall.
I'm moving out.
She hadn't responded. She didn't fight. There was no counter argument. In fact, she had spun on her heel so quickly that Nick had barely registered what he had said by the time the elevator doors closed behind her. In the moment, he thought it was the right call. In the moment, he had been cool, collected, and rational. In that moment, while every cell in his body was willing him to sweep her into his arms and finish that kiss, his brain muted everything and made the only logical decision it could. And he regretted it.
Letting out a sigh, he began to rise when a figure clad in a white hazmat suit burst through the front door.
"What the- Schmidt? " He asked, incredulous.
"You see what happens? You see what comes of living with a troll? This is what happens! Rats, Nicholas? Guess I'll start in your room – in the host den." He said, lowering his voice and leering towards Nick's door.
"Schmidt, what are you talking about?"
"You know perfectly well, I'm sure they've been breeding in that hovel for years. I've wrapped my love machine in several layers of plastic wrap for protection from the rat poison, but if my future progeny come out all weird and deformed, well you're gonna see a bad side of Schmiddty mister!"
"We don't have rats, put the spray down. What the hell man?"
"No rats? Well that was a lot of wrapping for nothing. Although, I have to admit, I'm pretty excited to open the gift, if you know what I mean - things get compressed, and like sausage being released from its casing –"
Nick pinched the bridge of his nose, willing himself calm. "Schmidt shut the hell up, I've gotta talk to you."
"Sure man, lemme get this getup off and we'll release the prisoner." Schmidt waddled his way towards his room.
"Whaddya mean we? Schmiddty?" Nick yelled at the retreating Schmidt.
"You said what, now?" Schmidt asked in disbelief.
"I told her I was moving out, but –"
Schmidt slapped his legs. "Nick! How could you do this to me? How do I live without you? I want to know. See what you're doing? You've made me use Leann Rimes words against you."
Nick rolled his eyes. "Calm down would ya? If anyone drives me outta the loft, it's gonna be you, with your weird songs-lyrics-as-conversation crap. I'm just tired, Schmiddty, you have no idea."
"Oh, I have no idea? I've only been pining for a woman I can't have and have ruined any chance at a future with – which I still partly blame you for, by the way – meanwhile I'm forced to watch her cavort with baby Crocodile Dundee, but by all means, continue to tell me what it's like to constantly be around your ex-girlfriend."
"Alright, that's fair." Nick said with a head nod.
"So what now. You have a plan?"
"Of course."
Schmidt grinned and pointed at his friend. "That's the Nick Miller I know! What is it?"
Nick shrugged. "This is it."
Schmidt shrugged back. "What's it?"
Nick waved his hand at Schmidt. "This. Talking to you. I figured you would know what to do –"
"Oh, I'm the plan?" Schmidt asked, gesturing towards himself.
"Yeah."
"Wow. Ok, yeah, we can hash this out." Schmidt paused for a moment, thinking. "Ok, here we go, off the top of my head: tell her you had mercury poisoning."
Nick frowned. "What? That's terrible! What is that? That's not even real!"
"It's totally real, man! It's from eating too much sushi. Makes you ramble, gives you the sweats – so when you lie to her and she knows it, you can just tell her it's a symptom of the poison."
"That's a horrible idea." Nick said, shaking his head.
"What, it's a great plan!"
"Schmidt, I would rather pack everything I own into a huge box and carry it on my back through the streets than put a piece of cold raw fish in my mouth."
Schmidt shook his head. "What are you - you don't have to eat it man! You're just gonna tell her you did."
Nick thought for a moment. "So I don't have to eat the fish, I just lie that I did."
"Yes" Schmidt confirmed.
"And the sweating, that's a real symptom?" Nick asked.
Schmidt nodded. "According to Jeremy Piven."
"Who?"
"Come on Nick, we watched season 1 of Entourage together! Valentine's Day, 2009? Did that mean nothing to you?" Schmidt hollered.
"Of course it meant nothing, we're men!" Nick yelled.
Schmidt rose from the table, angrily waving his arms. "I can't believe you would say that!"
"Look, we're getting off topic. You really think this will work?" Nick asked, still unsure.
"Nah, man, but it's better than admitting you were wrong."
Jess had held her tears until the elevator doors closed, but that would have been more impressive if she hadn't hauled ass there in the first place. The movement of the elevator moving down mirrored the feeling in the pit of her stomach. A warmth began to settle there, and spread through her body, as she slowly lost the numbness Nick's kiss had instilled in her. With the opening of the elevator doors, she focused on the objective: getting to Cece.
Inside the bar, Cece continued her labored listening of Schmidt's thoughts on rats, and he had a lot of them.
"Number twelve – you can't keep them out. No place is safe from the hell spawn! Can a murderer squeeze itself through a quarter sized hole? Yes! And that murderer has a scaly tail and beady eyes. Oh, what's that you say –"
"I didn't say a thing." Cece assured him.
Schmidt continued in a high pitched squeal ."- Schmidt, Schmidt, I've caught him, we're safe!" He banged his hand on the bar, causing Cece to jump back. "WRONG! Because now you're holding a virtually indestructible little varmint. Did you know they'll test new foods to make sure it doesn't kill them? That's right Cece – they know." Schmidt leaned in and whispered, "They're learning."
Cece rolled her eyes, and caught sight of Jess making a beeline for her. "Oh, thank God."
"Oh look who it is, the Rat Queen of LA." Schmidt said, looking not-so-unusually annoyed in Jess' direction.
Jess ignored him and focused on her best friend. "Not now Schmidt – Cece I need to talk to you!"
Schmidt was undeterred. "Believe me, I don't want to get in the middle of this hen-fest! I've got a real problem, thanks in no small part to you, Jessica Day! Now I have to use my hazmat suit for its intended purpose rather than a sexually graphic experience!" Schmidt rose from his seat, downed that last of his drink and shook his shoulders. "It's kill time."
Cece shook her head and sighed as he left the bar. "This is my life now. Listening to Schmidt complain about non-existent problems."
"Well then you're going to be glad to hear I have a real doozy for ya." Jess said, taking a seat. "Nick says he's moving out!"
"What?"
"Yeah! I don't know what to do Cece. I mean, was kissing Nick a mistake? Yes, definitely! In our defense though, we've been really, really good until now. We've been eating salad for months, and we saw a piece of cheesecake, and now I've had a taste of that cheesecake, but I'm willing to put the cheesecake back in the fridge and go back to my salad! But Nick can't just go back to the salad! He's wants to just throw away the cheesecake!"
"Ok, Jess, I know you're upset, and I want to listen, but –" Cece tried to explain.
Jess continued, unaware of her friend's growing concern. "I guess it was just too hard, you know? Too much to expect Nick Miller to be a friggin' grown up, and not run away!"
"Jess –" Cece began to gesture emphatically with her eyes. But Jess just got louder.
"And he acted like it was somehow my fault! Which I'll admit, yeah, maybe I could have not kissed him back, but at the end of the day, the fact remains that Nick kissed me!"
"Jess!" Cece said firmly, slapping the counter.
"What?" Jess asked, annoyed.
Cece nodded towards the person standing directly behind Jess. "Ryan is here."
Jess' eyes went wide, and she turned slowly to meet Ryans shocked face.