Same Disclaimers Apply. My Plot, Not my World.

Chapter 4: Confidence is Key

"Honestly, Mum, they are not teasing me because they like me. That is such a 'Mum' thing to say, your losing your touch," Lily told her mother dryly.

Mrs. Evans sighed, and joined Lily on her bed that her daughter was splayed across. Taking her hand she said, "Lily, they will grow out of it, I promise. I was fourteen once, believe it or not, and muggle teenage boys are the same as wizard teenagers. Well except the whole making the bench vanish thing."

Lily laughed; it was the first genuine laugh that had escaped her since she started retelling her woes from school. When she had got home this morning she had begun by telling her mum about everything between the Marauders and her.

"See that is exactly my point, when a boy likes a girl he doesn't normally knock her to the ground repeatedly and tell her to poison herself."

Mrs. Evans pondered this for a moment.

"Listen, your at the age when boys and girls begin to have a strong attraction, to each other. When a 14 year old boy's heart tells him he should be giving a special someone more attention, he doesn't know how to handle it. All he knows is he wants that special someone to notice him as much as possible, and what better way than to tease them or play little pranks on them."

Lily just stared at her, and then fell back onto the bed in frustration. They are not teasing her because they have a crush on her; her mother was being so naïve.

"Well I'm going out, you want to come Lils?" her Mum said as she sprayed herself with perfume.

"No, I'm tired, too much traveling today I suppose," she responded, without even opening her eyes.

Debra Evans was a compulsive shopper she went almost daily. It wasn't that the Evans had a lot of money, but her mum liked to keep up with trends, and she was the best bargain shopper in this part of the country. Lily couldn't even remember the last time she went, she usually just got in the way. Her mum brought stuff home for her and Petunia constantly.

Mrs. Evans then called out to Petunia to go along, and Lily was thankful when she heard her sister accept. She just wanted some peace and quiet on her first night back.

After she heard them leave she made her way downstairs and plopped down on the sofa. Her dad usually got home late from work, so she decided she would wait around until he arrived.

That never happened though as she fell asleep almost instantly after laying down.

The next thing she knew, she was waking up in her own bed, and it was morning. She smiled to herself. Her dad must have carried her back to her room when he got home.

She walked out and stumbled over some shopping bags, her mum pulled through after all. Deciding she would rummage through them later, she made her way to the kitchen.

It felt odd making herself breakfast, but it was 7 am, and what else was she going to do?

"Lily, get up swee- Oh! Your up," her mum said, startled.

"Mmm," was all Lily managed with her mouth full?

"What's that?" she asked, pointing at the waffle in front of her.

Lily didn't respond verbally, but looked at her and raised an eyebrow. Obviously it was a waffle, and obviously she was about to eat it, hence the fork in her hand.

"Well I was thinking about what you said yesterday about the whole image makeover thing, and I am going to assume that includes what you eat."

Again Lily didn't respond verbally but instead raised her other eyebrow so they were both somewhere in her hairline.

"Mum, I don't want to sound conceited, but I do not need to lose weight. That is one thing I'm completely satisfied with."

"I understand that sweetie, but you're creating eating habits that will come back and bite you in the bum later on. You may be skinny now, but you'll start filling out and you don't want to gain weight in the wrong spots if you know what I mean." She finished and went to start making tea.

"Meh, I will worry about it when the time comes."

Just to shove it in her face, Lily then poured maple syrup all over her waffle and cut herself a huge bite, looked at her mum, and devoured it.

She did want a make over, but she was thinking something more along the lines of a new wardrobe, hairstyle and maybe even a tan. Oh, and definitely some new found confidence.

She finished her waffle just as her father walked into the kitchen, and she got up and ran into his arms.

"Thank you for bringing me to my room last night Dad!" she squealed.

"Its good to see you too darling, but I couldn't carry you too your room even if I wanted to, you know I have a bad back," He responded hugging his youngest daughter and lifting her off the ground slightly.

"Oh?" Lily asked, pulling away from his embrace, " How did I get there then?"

"James carried you." He answered like it was as simple as 'what color is the sky? 'Blue.'"

"I beg your pardon?" Lily asked flabbergast.

"Well he said something about not being able to use his wand, so he needed a flashlight and they didn't own muggle things like that, so he came to borrow one."

"When he saw you sprawled out on the couch he offered to bring you to your room, he must have saw how uncomfortable I was, since you were in my spot," he told Lily, narrowing his eyes playfully.

Lily hardly took notice of this; in her mind she was playing the image of James bringing her to her bed a million times.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" Petunia shot at Lily one day the next week.

Lily glanced up from the 'so sweet it makes you sick' love scene she was reading, and threw her sister's trashy romance novel at her so it hit her in the stomach.

"Why you prat! Why do you always have to touch my things?" she said disgusted, wiping off the cover of the book on her beach towel as if trying to wipe off 'magic germs'.

"I couldn't help it, I've never seen you so concentrated on something in my entire life. Trying to pick up some tips then?" Lily said to her with a smirk. She was lying on my stomach out on their porch trying to get some sun. She propped herself up on her elbows so she could get a better view of her sister's reaction.

She just looked at her for a second, and then said, "Lily, I don't know why you bother, we both know you'll never get remotely tan. You have red hair for heavens sake. Get it through your head." She then turned around to lie out her towel to get some sun herself.

She's always saying things like that, but Lily had only been home from school a week and half and already had a very nice base tan with some undesired tan lines. Her skin wasn't as sensitive as most red heads and she actually tanned very well.

Speaking of red heads however, Lily and her Mum had gone to a muggle salon and had Lily's hair dyed a deep dark red. She had to admit; she looked older, and more sophisticated. She didn't get it trimmed like normal though; she decided she wanted to grow it out nice and long. She was hoping to get it to at least her elbows, and if it doesn't reach there by the time school starts, Becky reassured her she knew a spell.

She stood up to go inside, there simply wasn't enough room for both Lily and Petunia's ego. She was already indulged in her trashy novel, and didn't even take notice when Lily stood.

She began wiping herself down trying to get the combination of sweat and tanning oil off of her body before she returned inside. She scooped up the rest of her things when she heard a bark like laugh.

She turned around faster than she could blink. James and Sirius were on the side street that ran past the side of her house. James was standing there looking at her, while Sirius was double over in laughter.

She shot James the worst glare that she could manage. If she chose to tan in her own back yard she should be able to do so without ridicule. She thought the summer would be painless.

: James's POV:

James stopped listening to Sirius's ramblings when something red caught his eye. He turned and looked as Lily stood up in a little green bikini.

"Whoa, get a hold of Evans," Sirius whistled, following his best mate's eyes.

"What is she doing?" he added.

"Sunbathing, it's a muggle thing," James responded, without taking his eyes of Lily.

"I wish girls at Hogwarts sunbathed," Sirius replied slack jawed. If James had taken his eyes off of the bikini clad Lily, he would have seen his friends face mirrored his own. Sirius will never admit it, but this moment is attributed to the many muggle posters that would come to adorn his wall at his parents.

Sirius then let out a bark like laugh at their predicament. James however was thinking back to the kiss they had shared that spring, and how much he wished he could relive it.

But all of a sudden she snapped her head to them and pulled them both out of their reverie. James received a serious death glare from her before she stormed back into her house.

"Man," Sirius said, wiping a tear from his eye and slapping James on the back, "Close your mouth before you start catching bugs with it."

James shook his head to clear it, and tried to give him his best smile.

"Well, the next three weeks should be interesting, we need to start thinking of some pranks to pull on Evans. Hey, do you think she would ever snog me?" Sirius asked casually.

"Don't count on it mate, I don't think girls like being told to poison themselves," James answered, but even as he said it he felt a roar inside of him that wanted to knock his lights out for even thinking about it. He had been so excited to tell the guys about him and Lily. He thought they would be pleased for him. But at that exact time they had gone bi polar towards her, and rather than go against his best mates, he sat back and watched her get hurt. He stood there and thought about how lucky he would be if she would ever talk to him again as Sirius put an arm around him to steer them back to the Potters.

: End James's POV:

"Petunia who is it?" Lily yelled from the kitchen. The doorbell had rung and Petunia had lost in a fair game of rock, paper, scissors to answer it.

She looked up to see James entering the kitchen with a flashlight in his hands.

"Oh, come to laugh at me again? Where's your other half?" Lily hissed as he walked towards the counter she was leaning on. She suddenly became aware that there was a very nice view down her shirt as she was leaned over the counter and stood up to her full potential.

"Um, if you mean Sirius, he is at my house, he is, erm, staying with us. And I don't know what you're referring to about laughing."

"You don't? Which time would you like to be reminded about?

"This particular time I am referring to was 3 days ago when I was tanning on my porch," She said, crossing her arms, and leaning towards him, threatening him to contradict her.

"Lily I wasn't laughing at you, Sirius was laughing at me because I was staring at you," He finished, blushing. Lily couldn't believe he was openly embarrassed about that admittance, but didn't show any sign of embarrassment when his best friends told her to poison herself.

He took another step forward and made her breath hitch as the gap between them became smaller. He set a big yellow and black flashlight on the counter.

"Tell your dad I returned this?" he asked.

Lily nodded and when he turned to go she spoke up without thinking, "Well I guess I'm just going to have to ask Sirius about what exactly he was laughing about aren't I?"

She was as surprised at her outburst as he was, but there was no turning back now. She walked forward and passed him leading the way to the front door and over to his house.

They set off in silence and she was taken back that James wasn't putting up any sort of fight about it. Once they got right up to his drive however, he spoke up.

"Honestly, I wasn't lying, he's just going to confirm what I already told you. You're wasting your time."

"Why do you care what I do with my time?"

"I don't, I'm just stating what's going to happen, and this is pointless."

"What are you trying to hide from me?" She asked.

"Nothing I'm just saying."

"Maybe you just don't want me coming over to your house then? Wouldn't want a filthy rodent like me 'scurrying' all over, eh?" She had stopped walking at some point and they were right in front of his house. She had not meant to call him out like that, but all the resentment that she had been feeling towards him just burst forth without her control. Luckily she didn't have her wand on her.

James' look changed from anger to one of discomfort. His eyebrows relaxed and went back to their normal spot. He never took his eyes off of hers and it made her a bit uneasy, so that she had to look away. When the silence had gone on long enough without him breaking it, she turned and started up his driveway, but he took a hold of her arm and turned her around to face him.

"Lily," James began, but paused as he struggled with his words, "We weren't serious, after you left Hogsmeade," again he paused, and Lily was about to interject but he began before she could, "well it was the biggest fight Sirius and I have ever had. It got pretty heated, a shield charm had to be cast between us."

"You weren't serious? I sure as hell couldn't tell! I didn't get so much as a 'Just kidding'. I have never felt more like dirt in my entire life. I thought we were all friends."

"That's it, I thought they were just teasing you, but when I saw you and Sirius interact I realized he wasn't just teasing you, and you were taking it worse than we realized.

"That's when I decided to interject, it's a damn bit harder standing up to your best mates than you realize Lily," James added in his defense.

"Ya," Lily said, sadly, holding back tears, "I guess it's too hard to stick up for them too."

She turned dejectedly away from James, and was pleased he didn't stop her again. What great qualities her friends had. The girls chose to leave her in the dark all term; James didn't stick up for her until the last moment. She felt her heart lift at his admittance however. There was some hope of repairing the damage.

She walked into her house to find her mum smiling at her with a pile of shopping bags at her feet. Lily gladly welcomed the distraction. Lily had quickly developed a style by sorting through the things her mum brought home. Now her mum shopped based on Lily's sorting, and she rarely brought home something that didn't work.

Two days later, Lily was lying out on her porch, like she did most every sunny day. She was drifting in and out of sleep lazily, when the sun became completely obscured. She squinted her right eye open to see if it was getting cloudy, but instead saw Sirius standing right in front of her lounge chair.

She yelped, and tried to quickly cover up her exposed body.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" she half shriek, out of unexplained panic.

Sirius let out his signature laugh and tossed a towel at her. She quickly gathered it around her body, and sat up in her chair. He proceeded to take a seat next to her uninvited.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about Evans, you look hot as hell in a bikini," he said with a smirk plastered on his face.

"Um, thanks," Lily replied, not encouraging conversation.

"C'mon, put something on, lets go for a walk," he demanded, standing up.

"A walk? Why would I want to go on a walk with you?" Lily spat at him suddenly.

He sighed, "James told me I should talk to you about this past year. If you will give me the time I can explain, I don't expect you to forgive me, but maybe it will make you feel a bit better."

Lily spoke before her brain had made a decision. They were to meet at the corner in five minutes, and she went into her bedroom to change. With a look in the mirror she saw her make up free face, and her messy hair piled on top of her head. There was nothing she could do with her remaining 4 minutes, so throwing on some more appropriate clothes she went to the strange meeting she had agreed to.

"Confidence," Lily whispered to herself, pulling on her shirt self-consciously.

A half hour later, Lily re-entered her house with a smile on her face. Sirius had managed to convince Lily he was charming, against all odds.

Lily turned the corner, and ran straight into her sister.

"What where your going freak!" She yelled while she tried to burn a hole through Lily's skull with her glare. After she had sufficient time to glower, she stepped back and surveyed Lily's attire and appearance.

"Wow Lily, the boys must love you. Letting ourselves go a bit are we?"

Lily just rolled her eyes and continued onto her room. It was odd the way Sirius made her feel. She had spent so much time becoming self-conscious about herself under his eye, but just now he made her forget all of that. She actually felt pretty with him.

When she entered her room she saw a piece of scarce mail sitting on her bed. One of few letters she had got this summer.

Lily, I'm sorry I didn't respond to your letter sooner, there has been a lot going on here at home. That is actually the reason I am writing to you, I need to know if I can stay with you the remainder of break. My parents are getting a divorce. I know, can you believe it? Well its chaotic here, mums a mess, and my dad moved out yesterday. I just want to get away from it all. Please tell me I can stay with you! All my love, Jude-

Lily re read the letter a few times then pulled out a new piece of parchment to respond. Judith's parents always had a storybook marriage! It must be really bad if she didn't even want to live with them anymore.

She finished tying the letter to Wilma's leg and sent her off. Lily watched her fly off for a while; Wilma seemed very pleased to be given something to do. Her thoughts turned to Sirius as she watched her owl sore off. He had apologized twice over and been a complete pleasure, which was odd considering she had never had a civil conversation with him before today. A smile crept onto her face as she thought of how Sirius threw her over his shoulder and refused to let her down until she promised she wasn't mad anymore. The best Sirius apology a girl could ask for.

Soon Lily drifted off to sleep, but it was cut short by a paper airplane that was flying into her head.

"Oh c'mon!" She said, giving in and sitting up in bed. Inside the paper contained only a few words,

Sneak out, want to see you.
-Sirius

Lily jumped out of bed and looked out her window, the same window she snuck out to see James not so long ago. When she looked out this time however, it was Sirius who was waiting for her.

She didn't hesitate and pulled on a jumper before hopping out her window.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Yes," he said, walking towards her, "I forgot to say goodnight," and he leaned into close to her ear, making all the hairs on her neck stand up, "Goodnight Lily." The way he said her name was like hearing poetry. He bent down towards her lips, and laid a soft peck on them, before jumping onto his broom and flying towards James.

Lily was left hugging her body in a daze from Sirius' intensity.

"Well that was pleasant," she said to no one.

She climbed back inside from the way she came out and rolled over; letting the smile she was holding back, take over her face. She certainly had some news for Judith!

A/N: Man I get distracted easily! Sorry!