Chapter Four: The Storm
A/N: Okay! So this part has some juicy stuff in it, and I hope you all like it!
Second: Mercedes Carello, Baena Cullis, Oliver Ungabwe, and Fhalz Lathan do not belong to me! They are the magnificent creation of MercedesCarello from her amazing works "The Jaguar" and "The Burning Titan". (Go check those out!) I was so lucky to get to borrow them for this chapter (and for another couple of chapters in the future).
A huge shout-out goes to MercedesCarello for helping me out so much with this chapter! I am forever in your debt!
Now… Enjoy!
The horse Eve was given was a beauty. Lean and muscular with a shining black coat and close-cropped mane, he stood at fourteen and a half hands high, a few hands shorter than Ada. He was christened Osten. She stroked his nose and whispered his name. He whinnied at her and shook his head. She grabbed the saddle appointed to her and readied him like the others around her. The stables were located near the gate that lead out to Stohess district, she learned. They'd pass through there first, then continue on through the interior of Wall Rose to make their way to her village. Osten began to stomp his feet impatiently. He was just as ready to embark on this trek as she was.
The trip was slow-going at first. Making their way through the busy and crowded district continued to be an annoyance to Eve and Osten. She found it amusing how a horse she'd never met before seemed to share her personality. Ada had taken on certain aspects of Eve's personality over time, but they'd been together for over six years. Osten was still young. She recognized his behaviors from when she'd watched Rosa work to break in the foals. Osten still wanted to run free, and she was disinclined to refuse him that desire. While she knew very little about raising horses, she'd known how to care for Ada, at least, and they'd spent the majority of their years together galloping through the plains as they raced against both Titans and time. The rush of the wind and the feel of Ada's movements below her ranked as one of her favorite past-times. She longed for that sensation once more, with Osten and the absence of the threat of Titans.
Once they passed through the final gate in Stohess, there was only a small city between Eve and the wide, open plains. The pace of the entire group increased slightly through the city, and they were all-out galloping once they broke free of it. Eve noticed the patterns her fellow riders took up. It was a small copy of the large formation the Survey Corps frequently employed. She slipped into a place in the rear and the group shifted just slightly to accommodate her presence. Erwin lead the formation, with Hange just behind. Mikasa, Eren, and Armin were all towards the front, with Reiner, Connie, Sasha, and Eve taking up the rear. Levi was nowhere to be found; he'd left much earlier that morning.
It was cold. The sharp wind tore at her loose braid and snapped the strands of hair around her face. Despite the jacket and long-sleeves, she shivered. Once she adjusted to the cold, she let a smile form on her face. Osten was almost flying through the air, jumping every chance he got and relishing in the freedom of being able to run. Eve had to keep his reins tight to make sure he didn't run away with her, but she was enjoying the freedom as much as he was. For just this moment, she had no worries, no fears. She could let go of her stress and just enjoy this ride through the beautiful, late fall countryside. The relief was incredible. She felt as if she and Osten could jump into the sky and never come back down. The temporary high was exhilarating.
All good things must come to an end. The company began to slow as they rode through a group of small farms, each with a different sort of vegetable growing in the rich soil. Little was left, save for a few batches of corn here or there and what she recognized as potato plants. She noticed the scorched black earth from where select plots had been burned away to prepare them for the coming spring. She frowned when the small outcropping of houses appeared on the horizon. They'd only been riding for little more than two hours. She'd assumed it would have taken longer to reach her people. There was a single hard-packed dirt road that lead to the village. Two soldiers from the Garrison were strolling around on the road; two Garrison soldiers on foot were strolling around on it, but stopped when they spotted the troop. Just under a dozen soldiers, including Eve herself, came to a halt at the edge of the village.
*The two soldiers saluted for a moment to the Commander, but he dismissed them almost as soon as they'd fallen into place. "All quiet?" Erwin asked. They nodded. Eve remained at the back, a sudden feeling of dread churning in her stomach and making her ill. The girl, a tall, slender blonde, was eyeing her with curiosity while her shorter, male companion had a hard look behind the glasses that reflected the sunlight. Erwin glanced over his shoulder to Eve and waved her to the front. With a sigh, she and Osten clopped over to his side. "This is Yvette Marks." The soldiers must have known who she was, for the girl's cheery face broke out into a wide smile while the boy relaxed slightly.
"We've heard a lot about you," the girl spoke up. "I'm Baena Cullis and this is Fhalz Lathan. 'Cee wants to meet you before you leave." Eve nodded to her, but couldn't seem to make herself speak just yet. She spotted several people milling about the houses less than fifty meters away. Was that Mina's long blonde hair she spotted shining in the bright sunlight? She felt two desires, each with equal force, colliding within her. One desire was to run away, to leave as fast as she could and never look back. The other was to jump off of her horse and dash over to Mina and the rest of her people.
Her mind was full of what-ifs: what if they hate me; what if they blame me for everyone's deaths; what if they don't want me here; what if they turn me away? She was given little time to reflect, though, as she was ushered forward along with the others to where a small gathering had formed just on the edge of the village.
Mina was smiling brightly, tears shimmering on her cheeks as she held the wailing Leonardo in her arms- already he looked much bigger and healthier. Alois was by her side, one hand on her shoulder. Rosa and Christophe were side-by-side as well, though Rosa did not look happy and Christophe looked weary. Otho came to a halt behind everyone else, but she could see him eyeing her with relief. There were only a handful of other people. Eve only hoped that they were in the fields and not dead. She spotted Doc last. He was leaning heavily on an old, dark cane. The poor widower looked worse than she'd ever seen before. He was unshaven and his clothes were rumpled and bunched. She half expected to see Orlan slip into the group with Otho and Lacey to come running over to her, but Bren was the one who came to greet her as she slipped out of Osten's saddle and her feet hit the ground.
"Where have you been?" The boy's tone was accusing, but the huge grin that split his dark face in half warmed her. He latched onto her in a quick, ferocious hug, then let her go. "Are these people feeding you?" A small half-smile found its way onto her face. It was painfully obvious that he'd taken on more responsibility and had grown up in the short time since they'd been here. She could have sworn he had physically grown some, too.
"I was in bad shape, Bren," she muttered. "I was asleep for three weeks- in something called a coma." He frowned slightly. "I'm alright now. I woke up just three days ago. That's why I haven't come sooner."
"Rosa and Christophe were convinced that you'd abandoned us, that you didn't care anymore. I told everyone it wasn't true, but when you never came..."
"I'm here now," she sighed. Her eyes found Rosa in the little group and narrowed in her direction. "Looks like you've been taking care of everyone for me. Thanks, kid."
Bren shrugged, but grinned. "Don't worry about it." Eve gave him a small smile and he left her side to go talk to some of the soldiers behind her. She headed for Mina and Alois next. Mina threw one arm around her in a hug, then quickly handed over the screaming baby in her arms.
"He's a handful!" Mina exclaimed. "I swear, if he's not sleeping or eating, then he's crying or laughing. There's no in-between with that one." Eve bounced the boy in her arms and he quickly settled down, staring up at her with his huge gray eyes. The small patch of soft brown hair had already grown into half of a dozen tiny curls. She kissed his forehead. "We've missed you."
"I'm sorry for being away for so long," Eve muttered. "How has everyone been? I know things can't have been easy..."
"We're all okay, I think," Alois said with a light shrug. "Doc hasn't taken things well, but he's getting better. He just seems lost without Susanne. Bren and Stephan were pretty torn up about Lacey at first, but I told them they had to grow up and become men. They are going off to become soldiers soon, after all. That seemed to work. Bren started doing the things you used to do- making sure everyone had food and building people fires and just generally helping out wherever he could. Stephan just sat and talked to people, helping a lot of them through their grief. Janette's mom and Karen's dad are out there working now, in part thanks to him. So Bren has become you and Stephan has become Lacey. Too bad they leave in the spring."
Taking a few long seconds, she gazed over each of her people. Some had obvious signs of displeasure at her arrival: their eyes were narrowed, lips pursed, arms crossed over their chests or hands on their hips. They must have thought she'd abandoned them, like Rosa did. Others appeared to be relieved by her return. They had expressions of relief: tears in their eyes, grasping to their loved ones, and whispers of "Thank goodness she's back". It was as if she were their true savior back from a long expedition of a trial of faith. She could have laughed at that notion, but it was when she looked at Doc that the joking fell away. He looked miserable. His clothes were disheveled and wrinkled, the small tuft of white hair on the top of his head was uncombed, and he was unshaven. With slumped shoulders and a bowed spine, he hovered over his cane as if he might fall should he let go of it for a single second. However, there was a small amount of pride in his steady gaze, as if he had known she could protect them- no matter what. It was hard to gaze over at him, knowing she'd failed him. Their gazes provided a sense of mock security and nothing else. Lowering her hard, pained gaze to the sparse grass at her feet, she felt the angry and bitter sting of rejection from those that were displeased with her. She felt as if she'd betrayed Doc more than she had anyone else. She glanced back up at him when she heard shuffling, and watched as he turned and limped away, relying heavily on the cane at his side. They were just waiting for her to say something, but she couldn't think of any explanation.
"I'm glad everyone is okay, at least," Eve said, her frown back in its place. "I don't know how to tell you this, Alois..." She was all too aware of the people behind the one she was addressing. They were all staring at her.
"What is it?" Mina asked. Eve looked down at the baby in her arms and gave his reaching hand her finger. He grabbed onto it with surprising strength and wiggled it around.
"They've told me you want to join the Survey Corps as well. Is that still what you want?" Alois nodded once, but Mina frowned and grasped at his arm that had slipped from her shoulders. "We are conditional members. We have to prove our usefulness or they will kick us all out."
He cocked his head to the side. "What… What do you mean?"
She bit her lip as she looked back up at his confused expression. She could see the others behind him, worry etched into every face. "I mean..." Eve took a deep breath. It was hard to admit this to them. Harder than she'd imagined it would be. "They will make everyone leave. We will be forced back out on the other side of the Wall."
Alois' mouth fell open, his eyes growing as wide as they could. As understanding seemed to sink in through the shock, his mouth closed and his lips pressed into a hard line. His blue eyes darkened and narrowed while his hands clenched into tight fists. "Why?" The single word was harsh and angry, filled with confusion and even a tinge of sadness.
"That is what I was told the bargain would be." Eve was still frowning. She hated to tell him this, hated that look of betrayal on Mina's face, and worse, in her teary eyes. "I wasn't given a choice, and you won't be either. The boys, I think, won't have that burden to bear; but it is ours."
"After everything we went through just to get here, they are threatening to force us back out there?" Alois shouted at her, grabbing everyone's attention and making Leonardo cry. She held the baby close and tried to soothe him, but she was doing a poor job of it. The sharp, high-pitched wails drove into her brain like a stake. She bounced him lightly in her arms, "shh"ing him and cooing. It did no good. Mina seemed to snap out of her shock and opened her arms. Eve did not give her the baby.
"That's not fair!"
"How can they do that to us?"
"You can't let that happen!"
"We can't survive out there!"
Eve cringed against the many protests. "There's nothing I can do about it!" She was holding tight to Leonardo, hiding her face from the others. They were still angry, but their yelling subsided. Leo was still screaming at the top of his lungs, protesting the noise from earlier and probably, Eve knew, the way she was holding him.
"Let Mina take him, Eve," Rosa commanded, her voice coming from over Eve's shoulder and startling her. "We have a few things to discuss." Eve found it ironic how every other time she was near the infant, people were forcing him on her, but now that she wanted to hold him and calm him down on her own, he was being taken away. Mina slipped her arms around the baby and pulled him gently to her chest. Eve watched as she slipped through the crowd and headed to a small house on the edge of the little grouping. When she vanished inside, the wails could no longer be heard.
"What, Rosa?" Eve snapped, rounding on the older woman.
"Christophe told me about what you said to Hans." Eve glanced over at the tall blond and sighed. She had expected that. What she didn't expect, however, was Rosa's hand reaching out and striking her cheek. Her head turned to the side from the force. In mild shock, one of her hands came up to touch the stinging skin as she looked back over the one who'd hit her. "You're a bitch, you know that?"
Eve didn't respond right away. She just stared at her as the furious redhead's pale skin first tinted light pink, then darkened into red, the color creeping up her neck and ears. Christophe couldn't meet her eyes, and Alois was just as angry as Rosa, even if his only tell was the way he clenched and relaxed his fists in quick succession. Otho was lingering a few steps behind the others, but he was clearly waiting for an explanation as well. He was the only one that eyed her with a sort of dispassionate regard, as if she were just another piece of furniture from his days of carpentry to be inspected before it was given away. That in itself hurt far worse than his anger, though she knew she deserved it
"Yes," Eve stated at last. "I wanted you all to reach Wall Rose and live inside it in peace. I didn't want the responsibility of taking care of everyone anymore. I was tired of it. And once you all were here, I didn't think there would be any reason for me to worry. Hans could have stepped up and been the one you all looked to. I'm tired of pretending to be strong enough to bear that responsibility." She looked out at the faces surrounding her. They all looked hurt, and she didn't blame them.
"How... how can you say that?" Alois was looking at her like she'd just told him she'd killed his dog. She sighed and ran one hand over her hair. "I looked up to you!"
"And you are better at killing Titans than I am now," Eve said gently. "I just couldn't handle being responsible for so many lives anymore. Look at all the people we've lost! Can you even count how many times I have failed? I can't. I needed someone else to take on this burden. But now Hans and Lacey are both dead and I am still responsible for keeping everyone safe, even if things are different now. And Alois, you will be responsible too- especially if I die." He frowned at her, but said nothing.
"And you think that makes everything okay?" Rosa snapped. "What about that boy Eren? Were you ever going to tell us that he can change into a Titan?" Mutters and whispers rippled through the crowd.
Eve looked down at the ground, unable to face Rosa for the moment. "I feel guilty enough about that already."
"Not from where I'm standing!" Rosa huffed and Eve looked up just as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I knew something was up when those other soldiers arrived and he no longer came to the village. Did you know before that, or was he just finally confined? I see he isn't now, but I supposed all of you soldiers could always kill him if he transformed, since you're supposed be so fucking great at it."
"I didn't know until the Commander told me," Eve muttered, staring at the ground once more. She could see bits of rock and quartz shining among the packed dirt. "And I told him to stay out of our village after that. I was going to kill him..."
"But instead, you let that monster come among our people." She looked up and over at Alois. He was shaking. Whether it was from rage or sadness, Eve couldn't be sure. With him, the two emotions were usually linked to the exact same behavior. She expected him to start throwing the punches next. She would stand there and take them if he did.
"He's even here now," Rosa continued. "What the fuck, Eve? How could you do this to us? You bring that monster here and you tell us that if you don't show that you're useful, then we all get kicked out? How is being here helping us?"
"We should have stayed!"
"This was a mistake."
"What was the point in coming if we're just going to be forced to leave?"
"You don't have to live with the threat of a Titan killing or devouring you and everyone you love each and every moment of every single day." Otho's voice reverberated through the ground and she could feel his tone in the soles of her feet. Her arms wrapped tightly around her middle and she squeezed her eyes shut. He was only stating the truth, his tone cold. "Eve did what she thought was best for us. Do you think we would have fared any better if we'd stayed out there?" Otho coming to her defense stung worse than Rosa's sharp tongue. The crowd did calm, but the whispers didn't stop.
"I failed all of you," Eve whispered. "I just wanted everyone to be safe."
"We are safe here," Otho said gently. "It just hurts that you lied."
"This is just like what happened after Micah took you and the others to the wall," Rosa hissed. Eve snapped her head up and narrowed her eyes.
"No, it isn't." Eve dropped her arms and stood a little taller. This was ground she could stand on- she knew she wasn't like Micah. "Micah never intended to get us behind Wall Rose. He just wanted to wipe us all out!"
"You don't know that!" Rosa shouted.
"Yes I do! We never went to a gate. We never spoke to anyone on the inside. We were never seen. Micah just went up there and spoke to one person before telling us we weren't welcome! Even if I have to bear the responsibility for keeping everyone here, that's still better than Micah's suicide mission!"
"It wasn't like that!" Rosa clapped her hand over her mouth as soon as she'd spoke the words. Eve felt a small bubble of triumph well up inside of her. Rosa had just told on herself, and Eve didn't even have to work hard to make it happen. She could still remember catching them wrapped up in each other's arms just before they left for Wall Rose the first time they'd gone. Rosa had been crying. Eve hadn't had the chance to put all the pieces of their secret relationship together until several weeks after her return. She'd confronted Rosa about it, and she had begged Eve not to say anything to his widow.
"Then what was it?" Christophe asked, taking a step to the side to better confront Rosa. He stared down at her, and Eve could see the pain behind his anger. "Since you seem to know so much about his motives, why don't you share 'em with us?"
"I..." Rosa stammered.
"What's going on?" The whispers had changed their tone from anger against Eve to suspicion against Rosa.
"What are they talking about?"
"Micah wasn't trying to save us?"
Eve smirked. "What did he tell you? Did he romanticize the trip, make it seem like we were going to rescue everyone from the fear of the Titans?" Rosa was mute. The flush had faded into a translucent sheen of sweat on her pale forehead. Eve wanted to continue to taunt her about the situation, but she held herself in check. The people around her knew entirely too much about her for her to start attacking Rosa now. Her jibes could backfire.
"He only told me that he had a friend on the Wall who could help us," Rosa muttered.
"That friend turned us all away," Eve shot back. "Micah led us out there to die!"
"No he didn't!" Rosa screamed, her voice breaking with the high pitch. "He knew we wouldn't be welcomed right away, but he swore… he swore that we would be saved!" The four of them staring her down froze, shock apparent on each face. Christophe was the first to react, turning his back on her. Eve frowned and looked down at the ground. Alois was ready to start throwing punches, but Otho rested one big hand on his narrow shoulder to keep him rooted in place.
"Who was this friend?" Christophe asked through his teeth.
"I don't know," Rosa whispered. "I think Micah might have said his name was Nick."
"Micah is dead and gone," Otho said softly. "We are safe behind the Wall. We shouldn't argue about this any longer. Eve and Alois now have enough weight on their shoulders."
"We all have our burdens to bear," Eve said. She looked between the four of them. Alois and Christophe seemed to have calmed down some, but Rosa was still on the verge of tears. "Alois and I will have more than enough on our plates once we leave. We have to be reformed into proper soldiers, after all."
"I'm… goin' inside." Christophe did not spare any of them a single look, just retreated back towards the village, his shoulders slumped. Eve frowned after him, but did not try to follow. They all had different ways of dealing with all of the information presented in their conversation.
"Perhaps we should go and have a cup of tea," Otho suggested. He lifted his hand from Alois' shoulder and the young man bolted, headed for the little village. Eve watched him go, then turned to Rosa. Many of the villagers agreed as well, turning to leave. Those that lingered eventually turned to go after them as well. Eve felt small amounts of confidence returning as those who hated her now left. She faced Rosa.
"Now that they are gone," Eve muttered, "I want to remind you that I've kept the secret about you and Micah for years. What else do you know?"
Rosa lifted her chin. Her expression hardened as her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. "I don't have to say anything else. Don't forget, Eve, I know your secrets too."
Eve barked out one harsh laugh. "As if any of that matters now! Everyone here hates me because of what I did! I risked my life and everyone else's to get us here. Now we're here and I'm still to blame for things not being as wonderfully perfect as you all believed they would be. I never made any promises! You want to tell the entire world about what I did to my father? You go right damn ahead. That bastard deserved it, and you know it."
"I wasn't talking about your father," Rosa shot back.
"Then what?" Eve bristled.
"The truth about what happened when you were coming back from Wall Rose."
Otho and Eve both froze in place. Eve paled slightly and Otho looked down at the ground. "Why bring that up now?" Otho looked back up at her, his dark eyes boring into her.
"Why not?" Rosa put on hand on her hip. "Everyone else seems to want to bring up dirty little secrets. Why don't we call Stephan over, and you can tell him what happened to his father!"
"Like you care about that boy," Eve muttered darkly. "You only ever cared about yourself. Everyone just got behind the Wall. Do you really want them all at each other's throats? I won't be here to deal with this mess you're making."
Eve, Rosa, and Otho stood staring at each other. Eve was tired. She hated this fight Rosa had started. There was no telling who else had heard them shouting at each other. Rosa was still angry, though. Her shoulders were back, fists were clenched, and eyes narrowed; she wanted a fight. Otho wasn't his typical, calm self either. They were all major players in this shit-storm. He had plenty of reason to be concerned. Unlike Eve herself, he had to stay with these people; he had to continue to live near them and work with them. If they all knew what he'd done, they'd turn him into a pariah. Eve was getting the best end of this short stick. In a just a short time, she'd be allowed to leave and go live with the rest of the Survey Corps. She didn't have to ever see these people again. It had all become too much for her to bear.
"Eve?" She looked over her shoulder at the half-dozen or so soldiers still standing in place. Armin had called her name and was trying to wave her over. She held up one finger for him to wait. With her attention back on Rosa and Otho, she sighed.
"Can we save this fight for later? I don't have time for this. Think about everyone else here- they don't need this right now. We are all finally safe from the Titans. Can't you just be happy about that for a while?" Her questions were directed at Rosa primarily, but she knew Otho had picked up on her meaning as well. She might have been leaving them again, but she hoped he'd be able to move on. There was no question to be asked and no answer to be given. Not now, and, Eve knew, not ever. She couldn't be with him. She'd known that for years. He knew it as well, but he just wasn't ready to give up yet. "We all need to move on."
Weary and tired, Eve turned her back on Rosa and Otho, making her way toward the waiting soldiers. "Is everything okay?" Armin met her before she reached the others and asked his question in a low whisper. Eve declined to answer, just brushed by him. Sasha was eyeing her with a certain look that told Eve this matter would not be dropped so easily. She only hoped she could convince them to leave it alone.
*"You must be Eve Marks." Eve's eyes fell upon the newcomers to the group. The one who'd spoken to her was only a little taller than she herself, but she was built with more curves and plenty of muscle to go along with them. Eve found her hair style interesting. The right side of her head was shaven down, but the rest was braided down her back. Eve did not miss that Jean was by her side. They weren't touching, but the tanned woman was closer to him than she'd seen anyone else get. Her eyes were narrowed just slightly, calculating and serious. "Mercedes Carello."
Eve accepted the hand she held out. Her grip was firmer than Eve expected, but she didn't back down. "You must be the one in charge of keeping my people safe." The young woman nodded. "Thank you. I appreciate it."
"It's not a problem," she replied. A tall, dark, stocky boy approached from one side and Eve glanced over at him. He shrank back a little, eyes lowering to the ground. "That's Oliver Ungabwe. The four of us make up one of the Elite Squads in the Garrison."
"Elite?" Eve questioned. "Why 'elite' soldiers?" She took a deep breath and huffed. "Not that I'm ungrateful, I just didn't expect it. After all, those Wallist people aren't soldiers, are they? I just assumed the purpose of the soldiers was to deter their efforts. I didn't think there would be any threat of physical harm…"
"Think of us as a precaution," Mercedes replied. "We don't know what those cultists might do, so we like to be prepared for anything."
"I understand that you have to inform your superiors of any incidents, but can you make sure that word gets to me, as well? I may be on my way to becoming a soldier, but my loyalties lie with my people first."
"Yes, of course," Mercedes' said, nodding.
"Thanks." Eve relaxed, some of her tension fading.
"Commander Erwin says you all have a timeline you need to stick to," Mercedes said. "Some of your people didn't look too happy earlier. Not to be rude, but I suggest you take care of things quickly." Eve nodded once and turned on her heel. She had to get her things and find Alois. Maybe there was a way to smooth things over with him before they left. They had a lot to learn, and she was going to need at least one person on her side during all of this. She didn't have the patience or the time to deal with the other people in her village at the moment.
She jogged down the dirt path that split from the main road and headed for the house she'd seen Mina disappear into earlier. There were several dozen little houses, all very similar in build and color. Thatched roofs and simple wooden frames. The houses in her village had been made of stone. Those seemed so much safer compared to these, but then again, there was less danger here. Eve stopped short at the door. A painful stabbing sensation in her left side made her grab at the area and take a deep breath. She lifted one hand, but felt awkward knocking on the door. In her own village, she'd often just walked right in to Alois' and Mina's house. Things were different here, and the realization of just how different they were had begun to sink in.
"Mina?" Eve called. The door was wrenched open. Alois appeared, his face contorted in anger as he forced Eve backwards by shoving a thick canvas bag at her chest. Eve caught the dark gray bag in her arms and took a few steps back. He forced her back a few more steps, then shut the door behind himself. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I want to know what happened with Micah," Alois hissed, hovering over Eve. She shook her head. "Why not?"
"Not here, not now," she whispered. "Everyone here is on edge- I know that. They don't need this right now, and you know that! Let's just go to headquarters and we can talk about this later."
"Only if you swear to me right here and now that you will explain everything you know before the night is over." Alois wasn't going to let Eve out of this situation, and she knew his tenacity all too well. She sighed and nodded once before he backed down a little. "Say it."
"I swear I will tell you everything I know," Eve whispered. "We don't have much time left. You should say goodbye to Mina. I want to see Leonardo again before we have to leave." Alois nodded and turned around to open the door. She brushed by him in the small kitchen. It was much darker inside, even with all of the drapes over the windows open and a cheery fire leaping in the large stone fireplace. Eve could look through the center of the fire into the other room. Mina was sitting in a rocking chair, humming a little tune to Leonardo. She followed Alois around the little square table, after leaving her bag resting on its top, and through the bare threshold into the sitting room.
Mina looked up at them, but she did not smile. Alois made some gesture and she stood up. Eve moved closer to her and Mina surrendered the infant bundled in his dark blue blanket. Eve took a few more steps to reach the rocking chair and sat with the boy, never taking her eyes off of him. She heard Alois and Mina move across the floor and glanced up for a second as they closed a door behind themselves. He yawned up at her. She couldn't help but give him a small smile. "Your mommy loved you very much, Leo," she whispered. "I know you won't remember her, but I want you to know that. You probably won't remember me, either."
The sad truth of her words sank in her chest like a rock. For the first time in a long time, tears welled in her eyes and she let them come without fighting. The baby in her arms had already grown in the few weeks she'd been apart from him. She wondered how big he would be the next time she got to see him. Annalise would have been so angry with her for giving him to Mina to raise. Annalise would have expected her to stay in the village with the others and become the boy's mother. But, Eve thought, she was doing what was best for him in the long run. She was going to become a soldier to prove her usefulness so that everyone could remain in the village. Alois was going to help, but she knew that it was going to be her maps that got them to Shingashina that would close the deal. She hoped that once the Wall was closed up, she and her people would be allowed to live forever behind Wall Rose in peace.
Eve was under no illusions about the remainder of her short life. She would consider herself lucky if she wound up maimed and alive to spend her remaining life with Leonardo rather than dead and in the belly of some Titan. She'd kept her promise to Annalise so far, though. She'd made sure that Leonardo was behind the Wall and safe. Her tears rolled over her cheeks, and a few of them fell on the blanket Leo was wrapped in. She reached up with one hand to brush them away. The infant blinked up at her with an adorable tiny frown and his little brown eyebrows all pinched together. She laughed. "Don't give me that look, little lion," she whispered, stroking his round cheek with one finger. He yawned again and his eyes drooped shut. "Sleep, little lion. Make sure you grow up big and strong like your dad." She looked around the room and found the small crib pushed up against the wall just a couple of steps from the chair she sat in. Standing, she moved toward it and lowered him gently to the thin mattress. She left him bundled up.
When she turned, Alois was stalking through the end of the room, heading straight for the kitchen, and then, she imagined, outside. He had a plain bag similar to her own, but green instead, over his shoulder. She sighed and could hear Mina's soft sobs from the room Alois had come from. She slipped outside after Alois, grabbing her bag from the table on the way. "You ready?" he grunted, eyeing her over his shoulder. She nodded once and they set off down the dirt path. She noticed curtains moving so people could stare, and people stopping what they were doing to follow her with their eyes. Things weren't ever going to be the same between her and the people in her village. She could accept that, but the problem was everyone else accepting it.
Eve found Osten waiting for her between Armin's and Sasha's horses. She secured her bag on her back, then stroked his nose. His dark brown eyes peered up at him, and it was almost as if he understood her pain. Climbing up in the saddle, she spotted Otho not too far away. He said nothing and did not move, but she understood. She'd hurt him today, as well, and he wasn't going to forgive her for that anytime soon. With a frown, she turned from him. Erwin was back at the front of the group just as Alois joined with his own horse, Ira, from their village. The group set out, leaving the Elite Squad from the Garrison as the only ones on the road watching them go.
The weight of responsibility felt cemented into place on her shoulders. The sting from Rosa's slap lingered on her cheek and spread down into her chest. Her people were disappointed in her. She'd done what she thought was the best thing for them, but she'd been wrong. It only drove home the reality that she was never meant to lead them. Alois was angry, too. She had no more allies, no more friends, no one she could trust.
A/N: Please, let me know what you think!
And thanks again to MercedesCarello- this wouldn't be as good without all of your help!