Chapter Four – Forms of Wit

Charlie, it turned out, was in a hurry to leave because he desperately needed to get back to Romania and back to his dragons. Tonks snorted when she Remus told her: the reason she'd said no to him that many years ago was because he was more concerned with Quidditch and Care Of Magical Creatures than he was with girls. After helping Lupin and the others coax the portrait back into silence, they descended the stairs into the kitchen, where they found the Weasley children being loudly chastised by Mrs. Weasley for getting in the way of what she called 'Order business'.

"But why won't you tell us what you're doing?" one of the twins moaned. "Come on, we're of age now, you have to tell us!"

"No, Fred, we don't. For a start, you might be of age," Mrs. Weasley said haughtily, "but you are still at school."

"That never normally stops us," his brother muttered, under his breath. Unfortunately, Molly appeared to hear.

"Now stop it! I've got things to be doing, Tonks here is waiting to speak to Moody and Remus, and there's a whole house upstairs which is utterly filthy and that you," she jabbed a finger at the twins, "and the others are going to help me decontaminate."

The twins erupted into a joint marathon of complaints, but Mrs. Weasley just carried on shepherding them back up the stairs, followed by the taller, freckled one and the girl, both echoing their brothers' grumbles. Tonks grinned after them, but was soon serious again and Remus sat down at the kitchen table opposite where she stood and nodded towards a chair.

"Remus, we've got to make a move," Bill said, sticking his head – and its long ponytail – fair enough down the staircase to be heard. "Fleur…"

"We'll see you at the next meeting, Bill," Remus replied smoothly, before turned back to her.

"So, do I get my first mission, then?" she beamed, excited. Remus seemed to be working hard not to smile.

"It's not quite as glamorous as that, Tonks," he said. "It's more of an errand. And it's voluntary – so there's a good chance you won't be on your own. I'll be there, so will Moody, for a start."

"What about Sirius?" Tonks said, suddenly realising that he wasn't there.

"He's feeding Buckbeak," Lupin said gently, as Moody lurched into the room from the pantry.

"Sulking, more like," Mad-Eye growled. "Bloody whiner – doesn't he see why we can't let him out? He could jeopardize the whole operation."

"He understands, Mad-Eye," Remus said smoothly. "But Sirius is a man of action. Believe me, I've known him long enough to understand that the one torture that would unsettle him more than anything else was not being able to help the Order in a more active fashion."

"But he came out to get me?" Tonks frowned.

"Yes, and look at the trouble he could have got you lot all into." Mad-Eye thrust the paper under her nose, but she didn't need to read it. She'd read hers this morning, though the news of the latest Deatheater attacks all seemed to blend into one, there were so many of them.

"Sirius's Animagi disguise doesn't work with the Deatheaters?" Tonks asked.

"No," Lupin said. "Since Peter Pettigrew returned to Voldemort's side—" He paused, draw by the sharp intake of breath from Tonks. She'd been so surprised that he'd just come out and said You-Know-Who's name that she hadn't had a choice but to jump slightly. "—Voldemort has probably been made aware of Sirius's abilities in that area," Lupin continued.

Tonks nodded. She was a bit ashamed of herself for giving away her discomfort with the use of the name quite so openly, especially in front of someone who clearly had no qualms with it at all.

"So… the miss— errand?" she said lightly.

"Ah, yes," Lupin nodded. "We're going to get Harry."

There was a surprisingly long pause, as if Remus hadn't expected her to be quite so startled, and hadn't thought of anything to fill the sudden gap. But Tonks had been startled – she'd not even considered that Harry Potter would be this close to the members of the Order. The thought of him even knowing about it was a quite a shock.

"Harry Potter?" she repeated, staring at Remus.

"Yes."

"The Harry Potter?"

"No, no, actually it's a completely un-related Harry Potter who happens to share his name."

Tonks quirked an eyebrow. "There's no need be sarcastic, Lupin."

He was regarding her with a not-entirely unfamiliar-looking smirk. "Oh?"

"No. I'm sorry if all this is a bit new to me, but there's no call for—"

"Nymphadora, please, relax. I was just trying to let you know that it's not all work here. Some of us actually have personalities. We make good friends, you know."

Tonks smiled wryly. "Yeah, because all my friends are werewolves and tomb-breakers and dragon-tamers and Veela-descendants…"

Lupin frowned. "Who is a Veela-descendant?"

"That Fleur person. Blondie. Couldn't you tell?"

"Er… no, no I couldn't," he replied, frowning to himself. Tonks guessed that he wasn't usually caught out – he was normally quite aware of everything.

"Don't worry, Remus, I'm sure you're not the first great thinker to be distracted in the presence of a beautiful blond," she joked.

"No, I didn't—"

"Joke, Remus. You need to lighten up."

"Says Miss There's No Need To Be Sarcastic…"

"Yes, but sarcasm is, after all, the lowest form of wit, Lupin," she retorted blithely. "So, come on, when are we going to get the Harry Potter, then?"

"In a fortnight or so. Dumbledore says we're to leave him at the Dursley's – they're relatives he's staying with – for as long as possible," Lupin told her. "In the mean time, we're meant to decontaminate the house. Well… they are," he added, nodding upwards, to indicate the troop of Weasley's just exited. "We've got something entirely more important to do."

"I'm listening," Tonks replied, intrigued, leaning forwards and resting her elbows on the table. Lupin leant forwards as well.

"We've got to take a trip to Scotland."

"Oh good," she said.

"Tonks, now really, sarcasm really is a very low form of wit."

&

Tonks repeated her morning drop-in three days later, to find Remus had moved an armchair close to the stove in the kitchen, and was sitting quietly waiting for the rest of the house to get up, with a book in one hand and a bowl in the other.

"Oooh, Weetabix, can I have some?"

He looked up. "Oh, good morning, Tonks." He nodded towards the kitchen table, where the cereal packet sat next to three or four others, several plates of toast, bacon, and sausages, and a bowl of baked beans, steaming. Tonks summoned the milk from the pantry.

"How do you know about Weetabix?" she asked. "It's a Muggle food."

Remus shrugged. "I've dabbled in Muggle habits over the years. I find it sheds a unique light on situations."

"Spoken like a true Muggle-lover," she jibed. "My dad was Muggle-born. That's how my mother was discredited. She was Sirius's aunt."

"His favourite, if I recall." He stood and took his bowl over the sink to rinse it, and Tonks', once she'd finished. "I think we should leave as soon as possible – Molly went to get the children out of bed—"

She raised a hand. "Say no more – if we don't go, we'll never be able to get out of hallway in the throng."

They had just reached the door when the sound of at least three elephants running full pelt down the stairs started up. Before Remus could ever get a hand on the latch, what seemed like seven or either – but what Remus later assured her had been only five – Weasleys piled down the stairs, all bleary-eyed and grumbling, and then wandered off towards the kitchen. Tonks caught a fragment of Ginny's conversation.

"—but I don't know how to tell. Imperturbable charms by their nature are hard to put your finger on…"

Tonks tapped her in the shoulder. "Try throwing things at the door," she whispered. "If they just zoom straight off without bouncing, it's Imperturabled." Ginny nodded and stalked off after the others, eyeing the sitting room door as she passed.

The fog was still low over the ground when they managed to manoeuvre themselves into the overgrown front yard, but the sun was clearly making a valiant attempt to break through, so it felt they were inside a great, sunlit cloud.

"It'd be nice weather if it wasn't for the damn fog," Tonks grumbled, pulling her ivy green coat a bit tighter. Her hair this morning was long and wavy, and caught in a ponytail that fell to below her waist and was a shade of ivory blond. She looked a bit like a stocky, more tomboyish version of Fleur, plus curling irons.

"British weather, even in July, is somewhat erratic, though," Remus replied, standing aside for her to pass through a passageway and onto the pavement next to a main road. Some of the cars had their head lights lit, and all had their fog lights blazing dully.

"I've got three days leave from the Ministry coming up at the end of the week," Tonks told him. "So now would be the time if the Order needs anything done."

Lupin looked thoughtful. "I'm not sure about Order work, but there might something I may require a little help with." He didn't elaborate, and she was saved the trouble questioning further by him slipping, somewhat suddenly, through a gate in a tall, thick flint hall, which seemed to lead into a grave yard.

This was apparently his chosen Apparition point. He held out his arm, indicating that they were using Side-Along, and she tucked her hand under his thin overcoat.

They re-appeared outside a small and deserted-looking inn, surrounded by golden-coloured fields with browner furrows cut into them, and darker fields, where the thick clumps of soil had been turned so that they resembled the cracked icing on a vast chocolate cake. They were part-way down a muddied lane, where puddles stretched right across the beaten track and grass spilled over from nettle-strewn land either side.

"The Ten Bells," Remus said, nodding towards a farm house lodge at the end of the trail and slipping his wand back into his pocket. "We're meeting a gentleman – and I use the term loosely – named Sai Long."

Tonks straightened her coat. "What do you need me to do?"

Remus cast her a private-looking smile. "You're the Auror. You tell me. We need him to tell us how to get to a place near Dumfries. All we know is that it's the base for a lot of prominent Deatheater activity, and we need to locate it. It's called Craagmortis."

"Sounds… sunny," Tonks said wryly, smirking.

Remus chuckled. "Quite."

"Well, leave it to me," Tonks said assuredly. "Watch and learn, Lupin, watch and learn…"

&

Yes, I'm perfectly aware that I've used the name the Ten Bells before, during my One Night fic, for a completely different location. But having visited the Ten Bells in Norwich – (opposite the Norwich Arts Centre, for anyone in the neighbourhood) – and declared it one of my favourite pubs, I really like slipping it into stories. You'll also find a description of it in Chapter Three of Conversion – it's the tea shop where Ginny sees Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Camilla.

Also apologies to Nathan – I just had to go with Craagmortis. It won't leave me alone and I'm sorry, but I like the name. Plus you weren't here to remind me of the alternatives.

Thanks to reviewers, keep it up please! Taking note from MrsTater and Lady Bracknell, in the hopes in generating more review response, anyone who reviews this chapter will receive either a fun Remus who will take the mick shamelessly before having to grovel to make it up to you, or cosy Remus who'll share his Weetabix - and other breakfast treats...