The Resolve

Zoro slips his arm out of his sleeve and lets it rest against his yukata, idly tapping a rhythm he heard once with his fingers against the obi belt. Even though he's become resigned to this situation, the decision hasn't been any easier. Still, if decisions were easy they would be boring, and anyway he doesn't mind this so much anymore. After Lady Agnes had snapped awake, she had pulled an octopus watch from the depth of her…shirt… cursed and sent them back to shore with a focused look on her face—this was of course after she'd beaten her leather masks nearly senseless for goofing off. When they'd gotten back to shore she'd announced the second portion of the date would begin. He'd wanted to ask just how many damn portions there were, but had soon realized it didn't matter. However many, Zoro will go through all of them.

This part isn't so bad, though. She'd ordered him to help carry the palanquin, probably because she'd concussed one of her own leather masks so badly. He is a little shorter than the other leather masks, but as long as he holds the thing as high as his ear, he is able to keep it balanced. The burnished wooden handle is a little awkward to hold on to, meant for sitting on shoulders, he supposes, but nothing he can't handle.

He has discovered that palanquin holding is not just a simple matter of lifting it. In order for the thing to be carried straight, and the passenger kept from being jostled, every step the bearers took mattered. They have to work exactly in time, keeping the same tension on the palanquin, even choosing the right patch of ground. Even a slight bump or hole could throw the entire rhythm off. He can feel the steps of the other bearers through the movement of the palanquin and tell their strength from the weight distribution. They are a stronger than average bunch, with average being a normal man, and the one in the back left and just across from him have the potential to be almost remarkable. Yet they have so little spirit.

This is strange to him. He wouldn't call any of them naturally gifted in strength, so they must have built themselves up. But why did they resign themselves to this? Is it really their life's ambition? He has seen some pretty strange ambitions to be sure, but all of them? The more he thinks about it the less he likes it but there is nothing he can do about it now. The palanquin shifts slightly, steps falter.

"Oi, back left," Zoro says. "Pick up your pace." Because even if he is resigned to this there is no need to be lazy.

"Yes, Lord Zoro-san!" the man says. Lord Zoro-san. Geeze. Its as if the only reason they respect him is because he's physically stronger than they are. They haven't seen anything he can do. It would be almost insulting if they were worth getting insulted over. Well— it doesn't matter.

They are beginning to leave the town. This is a richer section here, with large walls and houses behind him. Yet the walls are rough looking, and he can still feel people are watching. Waiting. Even though this is the main street they were on before, there is no sign of the parade they had seen, except bits of confetti which have been trampled into the dirt. Up ahead in a pale stream of moonlight, he can just see Nami walking with Sanji. The cook's dark jacket is around her shoulders even though it's only gotten a little colder up here. The damn fool had nearly mellorined himself into a wall the moment she'd put it on, too. Zoro sighs. He just doesn't get it. Maybe he never will.

After a moment Zoro hears the faint 'puru'ing of a Denden Mushi from behind the thick velvet curtains of the palanquin. He can also hear Lady Agnes talking in it, but barely. She's not speaking above a whisper. Zoro cocks his head back a little and tries to catch her words when an entirely different voice sounds distantly behind him.

"Man, those meshi are really hard to find. I wanted to make a wish." At the sound of Luffy's voice, every muscle in Zoro's body tenses. It's faint and distant, still. But not faint and distant for long if he knows his captain.

"It's mushi not meshi," Usopp says with a touch of impatience.

"I still think Navigator-sis was pulling your leg," says Franky, and now he can hear their footsteps.

"You think so?" Robin says.

"You don't think so?" Franky says. Zoro grits his teeth. Damnit all. He has to get out of here. Not that Zoro cares that they will see him holding the palanquin, but they will cause chaos and make this date thing go to hell. The more they screw it up, the more work Zoro will have to do to fix it. But where can he go?

"It's true," Usopp says. "Syrup used to be full of mushi."

"Wow, really?" says Chopper.

"Hey, how come I never saw them!" Luffy says. Usopp laughs.

"Well, you have to be a good hunter and be able to see the eye of a pigeon at sixty paces."

Shit shit shit. They are getting closer. Where to to go. There. Right ahead just past Nami and Sanji, an alley that looks wide enough for a damn elephant. Zoro grips the pole tighter.

"Come on!" he says, and starts to run. The men yelp from behind him and almost immediately he's holding up the entire front end which is starting to list to the side. Damnit. Fortunately, Other Side catches up at speed of terrified Usopp and prevents a disaster.

"L…Lord Zoro-san!" Behind Right squeaks. "Where are we going?"

"Just shut up and run!"

"That sounds like Zoro," Chopper says. Shiiit! Zoro picks up the pace. They are almost there.

"Zoro! What exactly are you doing?" Nami shrieks as they blast past her. What the hell does it look like? Can't she hear them? Anyway, there's no time to explain and they are going to fast to make the turn. They need to slow down!

"Hard right!" he shouts.

"Right!" they echo as one and Zoro breaks in time with the others, feeling hot dust and the faint smell of burning sandals. They make it down the alley in one piece and break into a run again. The palanquin is getting jouncy as all hell and he can tell as Lady Agnes says.

"Wh..a..ats go..goi..ng o…o…on?"

"Pirates, Lady-sama!" says Other Side at the same time Back Left says:

"Marines!"

"W…w…ell str…a..aigh…ten u…up, y…you mo…rons!"

Right. Find the other's pace. Get the other's movement. One two. One two. One two. Damnit, why the hell does the street just drop off here? No, it's just really sharp steps going down. Shit. Going down. Weight shifting. Going to die. Going to die. Safe. And now, just to shake the damn captain's tail, turn right again.

"I'm telling you, mushi are everywhere!" Usopp says and Zoro sees them over his shoulder on a street above. How the hell did they get up there?

"I want to find one," Luffy says. "I won't give up until I do."

"Well it's a nice night for a walk, anyway," Franky says. Zoro puts his head forward and gives it everything he's got. He's not going to spend the rest of the night trying to bat off this piranha woman's creepy fingers. A crossroads. The left alley looks like the one they have just gone down so right again. Then up some steps which are somehow worse than going down but they haven't been up so this is a good way to go and then right again because everyone would expect him to go left and how the hell did they get in front of him?

Zoro digs his heels in so he won't crash into them and the other bearers do too, a moment too late. The palanquin swings wide but thankfully no one falls out of it. His nakama turn and blink at him, as if surprised to see him there. Zoro tries to catch his breath, starting to rethink the whole letting them off without killing thing.

"Hi, Zoro," Luffy says, lifting a hand. "Don't worry. We're not going to bug you." He grins wide. "We're looking for meshi."

"Mushi!" Usopp says. "You can't eat them."

"You looked like you were running pretty hard there," Franky says, pushing up his sunglasses. "It was really impressive."

"I agree," Robin says, her hand near her mouth. They stare at him. Zoro stares at them. A wind blows.

All of them. Dead. So very dead. Starting with the damn rubber head.

"L…Lord Zoro-san?" says Back Left.

"Shut up," Zoro says, to the bearers, to his damn nakama who are acting so quiet and well behaved he wants to punch them into a wall. All that damn effort for nothing. Ugh. He starts forward, feeling sweat dripping off his forehead and the road through his sandals.

"Well of course Zoro is pretty fast," Usopp says. "But I—"

Zoro glares at him, letting him know under no uncertain terms that Zoro has not forgotten the theft of his swords and Usopp had damn well better not either. Usopp goes still like a tiny mouse that pretends if he doesn't move he can't be seen. Oh, Zoro can see him, but he doesn't have time for him just yet. Zoro fixes his gaze straight ahead, feeling all of them watching him and especially Luffy. The damn captain better not say anything stupid or Zoro was going to—

"That doesn't look like much fun," Luffy says as Zoro passes him. No. It isn't. It's a gigantic pain in the ass. But… He keeps on walking. No need to respond really. Just get this thing over with. The road slopes up here, with light bamboo forest on either side. He can't see any sign of Nami and Sanji which, whether good or bad, he can't decide yet.

The road continues up the hill, white against the darkness of the grass before it is lost in trees, but the bearers turn off onto a side road. There is a mansion here, rising above tall walls, large bay windows shining in moonlight. It is in great shape, too, unlike the rest of the houses back in the town. It seems the Lady Agnes has soaked up all the luck of the place. Whether it was on purpose or by chance, Zoro can't be sure but he's never been able to trust people who keep that kind of luck all for themselves.

As the walk along the great stone wall, he sees a smaller door, almost hidden in the shadows which opens as they pass and a girl peeks out. She looks to be not much older than Chimney but her features are hard to guess in the uncertain darkness. He can feel her stare on him and returns it. She jumps a little as if afraid, then lowers her eyes and disappears back through the door. Huh. Is she Lady Agnes' daughter? She looks nothing at all like her and doesn't really act like the daughter of a rich woman, either. Well he'll either find out about it or he won't. The path leads them around the wall to where a large wooden gate is, lanterns blazing with light.

He stops with the bearers and waits for the gate to be open but instead the weight of the palanquin begins to shift as if they are going to set it down. He copies their movements, keeping the palanquin balanced as they set it on the ground. As Zoro straightens he has the sudden sinking realization that now he will have to interact with this fish woman again. At any moment he expects the damn cook's voice to come floating out of the darkness or Nami to show up looking haggard and ready to bitch at him but there is no sound but the crickets in the grass. Tch. They better not have abandoned him out here. Not that he particularly wants an audience but he doesn't know what the hell he is doing. A man admits when he is over his head and Zoro is in up to his neck already.

No use worrying. Zoro lets out a breath. They would show up when he really needed them and in the meantime he would just have to do what he can. He stares up at the gate, and then beyond it to the mansion. A curtain flicks aside and in the light of the window he sees the backlit form of a woman. She is waiting. Watching. Why? Who is she? His attention is pulled away by noises from the palanquin and he sees Lady Agnes hands creep through the curtain and pull it back. Zoro steels himself, feeling a cold quiver in his gut, and pushes himself past it— holds out a hand to help her out.

"Well well, whose the polite one? I almost rethought taking you on," she says and her small leathery hand is in his. This isn't like before, he tells himself. This isn't like before because now he needs to try to win. There has to be something he can say. Some sort of compliment. What would Sanji compliment? Her looks? Her cute way of getting mad? Well she isn't exactly cute… Zoro tries to think back of Sanji's reaction to Kokoro-san and can only remember the cook slumping on the ground and whining something about the unfairness of it all. That damn idiot. How the hell is Zoro supposed to work with that?

"You have a nice stance," he says as she steps from the palanquin and braces both feet against the ground. It's true. She's a round woman but a solid one and seems to know how to plant herself just where she wants to. She stares at him. He stares at her. A wind blows. He is getting really damn tired of that wind. Then she leans in, still holding his hand and it is all he can do not to lean back. For his nakama, he tells himself. And they had better enjoy it.

"I didn't think you were the kind of man who appreciated that sort of thing, Lord Zoro." She snatches at the front of his yukata and jerks him down with her surprising strength until they are almost nose to nose. He swallows, suddenly glad his nakama are not here right now. Anything that happens beyond this point no one needs to know. Her piranha lips go flat and she stares up at him. He has the feeling she's hesitating but can't decide why especially since he's distracted by the want to slip out of his yukata and tear his way back to the ship. There is a creaking sound as the gate opens and Zoro looks beyond her fizzy red nimbus of hair to see the weasel adviser from earlier.

"Lady Agnes-sama, you're late," he says. She grips Zoro's yukata tighter and then lets him go. Zoro straightens, trying to suck in a fresh sweet breath of freedom without that seeming like it's what he's doing.

"There was some trouble along the way," Lady Agnes says, patting at her hair.

"Pirates!" says Back Left.

"Marines!" says Other Side. Hadn't they said just the opposite earlier?

"Ask Lord Zoro-aniki," says Back Right. Who the hell said anything about aniki? The weasel adviser looks at him expectantly and Zoro considers not saying anything at all but doesn't want the bearers to take the full brunt of him being an idiot.

"Whatever, whatever," Lady Agnes says, waving her hand. Then that same hand sweeps down the length of Zoro's exposed chest sending waves of shivers right up to the top of his head. He doesn't think he's ever stood straighter in his life.

"As for you, meet me in the garden, right around the corner there. I'm going to slip into something a little more…" her piranha lips tilt upward and she rolls one shoulder. "Comfortable," she says and bats her eyes. Maybe she has some sort of unknown devil fruit power. Something like freeze freeze because he can't seem to move any part of his body. Even his heart seems still. He watches her walk past the gate which slams shut.

Does he want to do this? Does he really want to do this? Isn't there another way to come up with the beri? Maybe he can turn himself in for the reward money. Right. Turn himself in and get himself back out. Shouldn't be hard. Great training. Of course considering how high his bounty had gotten the marines were going to put him under some heavy guard and the last thing they need right now is another incident like Enies Lobby. Not that he would ever really considering giving himself over that easily.

"Wow," says Other Side. "You're amazing, Zoro-aniki!" It's just Zoro-aniki now? What the hell?

"Yeah," says Back Right. "I've only seen a few people get to the second date before."

"Damn, how many dates of these are there?" Zoro asks, sinking into a crouch and rubbing the back of his head. How can he do this. How can anyone do this? How can Sanji stand to do this day after day? It has to be because he avoids the touching thing. Zoro can't think of any other reason.

"We don't know," says Back Left. "We're never around for the second one."

There can't be many more than this, right? They left at eight so it has to be somewhere around nine or ten o'clock. How long do dates usually go? He has no idea.

"A…anyway, Zoro-aniki, you better get going," says Other Side. Right. He had come this far and he can't give up now. Zoro takes a moment to breathe and then stands, heading for the garden. Why did so few people get to the second date? Maybe they couldn't lift the palanquin. He brushes aside a tree branch. Or maybe they'd just had the common sense to get away. What is that, a patch of thorns? In which case they were likely dead by now. Common sense won't get you anywhere on the Grand Line. Is that a rock slide? Was this the garden? Not really well organized if it was. He hears footsteps coming up behind him and turns to see Other Side jogging toward him.

"Wait, wait, Zoro-aniki," says Other Side. "Where are you going? The garden is up the road not off of it." The man had to be kidding him.

"That's ridiculous. How can you go up a road that's perfectly level? Or do you mean the mountain road we were on?" he points. The man stares at him. Zoro stares at the man. No wind blows, possibly just to annoy him, but an owl hoots somewhere.

"That's…the bay is in that…" Other Side shakes his head. "Never mind. I'll show you. I need to go in that direction anyway."

Unless by up the road they meant he had to climb on top of the wall, Zoro muses as he follows Other Side. That would make sense. Maybe they didn't have a door to the outside. But in that case why didn't they just tell him to scale the wall or just let him in the main gate? Well maybe there was another wall that cut off the area of the main gate and the garden. But then why would you have a walled garden without a door? Especially if you invited people from the outside in? It was all really confusing. All the more so when they get back onto the road and Other Side gives no indication of beginning to climb the wall at all. It's probably just another case of bad directions. It's not as if Zoro can blame him. Even Nami gives horrible directions and then gets pissed at him when he follows them.

"So, Zoro-aniki, you're pretty strong," Other Side says as they turn a corner. The man grins at him, or seems to, it's hard to tell with the mask. "You took a lot of the weight. I've never held the palanquin that lightly before."

"Is the pay pretty good for that sort of thing?"Zoro asks. Good pay would account for lack of spirit about the matter. Also, if it was true, maybe he could earn at least some beri that way instead of this ridiculous date thing. They don't need a hundred thousand for everyone to be happy, right?

"Ah, well, no we're not paid as such." The man pulls at his hooded mask as if he wants to take it off but drops his hand. "It's… well we do what we can for our Lady-sama. Since she…if we don't she… Ah nevermind." He shakes his head. "Anyway the garden is there," he points. "Right there, by your earring side. You can see the door. There are two trees on either side. Toward the moon."

"I get it, I get it," Zoro says, having spotted the door as soon as Other Side had said it was toward his earring side. There were good directions and overdirections. He can feel Other Side watching him as he goes toward the door. Still watching him as he puts his hand on the door.

"Now you push open and go through following your nose," Other Side says.

"I said I get it!" Zoro snaps at him. Does he really look that stupid?

"Uh, okay! Have a good night! Good luck!" Other Side says, giving him a wave before jogging down the road. Zoro puffs out a breath. Geeze. He pushes open the door and steps through. The full moon is straight ahead, casting a dark shadow from the far wall where a cluster of trees are. There is a bench that sits right in the moonlight, though and little winding paths bordered by flowers as well as scattered trees. He can see another door on the house side wall and a little table sits beside it, though nothing is on it yet. The sound of falling water trickles in the distance. All in all it looks like a nice place to be alone. Zoro closes the door behind him.

"The lord of marimo enters the romantic moonlit garden, for a night of champagne, dancing, and wooing his lady fair."

Zoro stops, narrows his eyes…

"But where is she? Perhaps she's just bored with the sour taste of seaweed."

"Are you going to do this every time?" he snaps at Sanji who is leaning on the wall just behind him, arms folded.

"I might," Sanji says, grinning and pulling a cigarette from his pocket. "It's pretty fun. And I hate to say it but you're absolute shit at this." He lights the cigarette, the click of the lighter sounding overly loud. "You have a good stance? Is that really the best you can do?"

Fun… It's about as fun as…as…something incredibly uncomfortable and irritating but that he can't just solve by cutting it apart. Something like seeing that sword woman's face. At least she he could run away from.

"Shut up, dart brow," Zoro says, folding his arms inside his sleeves and leaning against the door. "What would you have said?"

"Not my date, Marimo."

Zoro snorts. "You don't know either, do you?"

"Well anyway, you're here so there must have been something about what you said," Sanji says, obviously avoiding the question. And maybe he is right about that. She'd certainly given him an odd look. And then pulled him and…and almost… he shudders again.

"Maybe she just thinks you're funny," Sanji says. They don't need a cook do they? Usopp can cook, so can Zoro if he has to. No one would miss a loud mouthed love cook except maybe Nami who would have to get her own damn drinks. Nevermind. There isn't time for fighting now. He has to figure things out before Lady Agnes comes to the garden. But before that…

"Where did Nami go?"

"She went to follow some servant girl who wanted to give her something. She'll be back."

And with more than the servant wanted to give her, probably. Couldn't she just take the beri that way? But then again they didn't know these people and hadn't Other Side said they did what they could for Lady Agnes? He hadn't seemed really afraid of her… more intimidated than anything. So what does that mean? Maybe she does something for them in return? If so, whatever it is can't be legal if they are afraid of the marines, too.

Damn, it's too much to figure out. Zoro drops his head and closes his eyes. Whatever the situation, it's still not any of his business, yet. What is his business is that any moment that lady is going to come into the garden and…and want to…want to do weird things. Learning how to avoid that while still winning was his first priority. Maybe there was a kind of dating technique. Like, the art of touching without touching. If anyone knew about that kind of thing…

Zoro opened one eye and looked at Sanji who was watching the house side door like an eager puppy. Why did Sanji have to be the only one here to ask? The cook would never let him live it down. Maybe if Zoro won Nami would be so happy Sanji would make a concession and not say anything— but the thought of having to bribe the damn cook was just like barbs under his skin. Unfortunately, the alternative was Lady Agnes clawing at him for…for who knew how long. On the other hand it couldn't be much different than asking another fighter to explain his technique, right?

"How do you do the no touching thing?" Zoro asks, trying to sound as bored with it all as possible. Sanji glances at him.

"The no touching thing?"

"You know, the technique where you…flirt and the women completely ignore you," Zoro raises his head. "You do it all the time."

Sanji stares at him. Zoro has never been so stared at so hard in his life. A wind whips through the tops of the trees. Then Sanji bows his head and pulls out another cigarette to light even though there is one still smoking in his fingers. What the hell is that idiot cook doing now?

"A gentleman," Sanji says presently after sucking down at least a third of the cigarette. "Never expects a lady to touch him, even if he gives his heart."

Zoro stares at him, willing Sanji's words to make some sort of sense. Sanji seems to not to want to look at him at all. What the hell is going— Oooh. Zoro grins. Could it be the love cook was just as bad at this as he was? Maybe even worse since he never seemed to have the effect he wanted?

"Anyway, whether they be distant or near, they are goddesses," Sanji says, looking away. "And a lowly man cannot expect a goddess will deign to even pay attention to him. But when they do it is a gift from heaven." And in that, Sanji wins. It's a blindingly stupid philosophy but it is a heartfelt one and only a complete bastard would mock something like that. In either case it's not entirely useful. It seems that he'll just have to put up with Lady Agnes for as long as he could. Zoro sighs and accidentally disperses a little smoke heart that is floating past his nose. Eh?

"But of course when the goddess does notice her humble, faithful servant," Sanji is saying, wiggling his hips and almost teary eyed as he gazes up at the sky. "Then he takes her by her hand and leads her into a whirlwind of romance and then he brings that hand up to his lips and…"

Geeze how far is he going to go?

"Presses a soft kiss to her…"

Too damn far.

"Okay okay, I get it!"Zoro snaps. "I don't need to listen to your perverted fantasies!"

"You're the only pervert, you shitty swordsman," Sanji says in an utterly calm voice which is totally belied by the lethal kick Zoro just blocks from connecting with his chin. He's not going to fight back, though. Really he should have known better to bring it up. Sanji's obsession with women was like Luffy's obsession with food. The one thing they would go utterly stupid around. Well Luffy's list was a lot longer than that sometimes, but the point still stood.

"Are you guys fighting again?"Nami says and Zoro sees her coming from the house side door. Immediately the pressure of Sanji's leg is gone.

"Of course not, Nami-swan! Never, after you told us not to! I've been so good!"

Zoro watches carefully as Sanji wiggles toward her, looking for some hidden trick or move, just in case, but Nami just moves around him as if she doesn't even notice he's there. No. Not going to work. He has the feeling that if he tried wiggling toward Lady Agnes she would wiggle back. The thought makes him cringe.

"And you, Zoro," she says, jabbing a folded fan at him. "What the heck was that all about, running with the palanquin? Things are bad enough without you doing something so stupid." She still has Sanji's jacket hanging off her shoulders and looks almost intimidating. Zoro folds his arms. It had been a pretty stupid thing to do but… Zoro looks away.

"I was trying to get away from Luffy and the others…" he mutters. Nami sighs, tapping the fan to her forehead.

"Only you could try to run away from someone and end up behind them," she says. Just what does she mean by that? It wasn't his fault. He just hasn't had much practice in running away from people.

"Listen, don't worry about Luffy and the others," Nami says, folding her arms. "I told them to leave you alone because you wanted to focus on your date."

"So why did you tell him about the mochi?"

"Mushi, and I told him to give him something to do. They're only a local legend here, but knowing Luffy he'll manage to find one," Nami says with a faint smile. Zoro wouldn't be surprised. At one time he might have but after this long he knows Luffy can find, and do, anything he sets his mind to. She sighs again, looking completely depressed for a moment.

"He'll find one and get us into more trouble than we want, I bet, with the wish he makes."

"Might be fun," Zoro says, imagining Luffy wishing them to an island with all sorts of interesting monsters and people to fight. He goes to rest his arm on his swords which aren't there and gets down hearted himself as his arm just falls through air. Well knowing Luffy, too, it might just be a big snack.

"Oh, by the way, here," Nami says, pointing the fan at him. "Sundae gave this to me and told me you should use it."

"Sundae?" Zoro asks, taking the fan and wondering what the hell he is going to be able to use it for. It's too light to be any sort of weapon.

"Mm, the little servant girl who works here."

Little servant girl? Was that the same one who had watched him at the door? He opened the fan experimentally but saw no kind of hidden message or map or anything. It is just a red fan with a picture of brown pigs getting exceedingly drunk on sake. Wouldn't be bad to join them.

"What do I use this for?" he asks, carefully folding the fan again. It feels light enough to break easily. Nami shrugs.

"She didn't say. Maybe Lady Agnes likes it. Also." She reaches into Sanji's coat pocket and takes out a baby Den Den Mushi. "I found this in the house."

"You mean you stole it," Zoro says, flatly.

"Details," Nami says, waving her hand. "The point is, you take one and hide it somewhere and then Sanji-kun can use the other one and give you tips. You know, what to say and things like that."

Zoro stares at the baby Den Den. The last thing he wants is Sanji whispering in his ear on top of everything, but he does need all the help he can get. Although…

"Where am I supposed to hide it?"

A moment of silence as Nami stares at the creature in her hand. The water burbles. A frog croaks. Eventually she closes her fingers around the Den Den Mushi.

"I nearly got caught swiping it, too. Ugh, what a terrible night."

"It's alright, Nami-san," Sanji says. He is back near the wall looking completely composed again, though the top few buttons of his shirt are open as if he is trying to show off something that Nami is completely ignoring. Sanji puts his free hand in his pocket and rests one foot back against the wall.

"Your intentions were good," he says. "But nothing I can tell Zoro will help him. In the game of love a man must make his own decisions."

Maybe he was right. After all, when he'd complimented her stance, Lady Agnes had at least stopped for a moment. Zoro wasn't sure what that meant yet but it could very well be a good thing.

"That being said…" Sanji takes a moment to take a pull from his cigarette before pushing away from the wall and coming over to them. "I do have an idea about the fan." He points at it with the cigarette. "Open it up, Zoro."

Zoro does, wondering what the hell this is going to be about. Sanji's calm suggests that he really knows what he's doing this time. Was this some sort of hidden technique?

"Now," Sanji says. "Lift it toward your face. Higher. A little to the left. Perfect."

Perfect? Zoro can barely see over the damn thing. He sees enough to not like the smile that crosses Sanji's face as he bows his head.

"Remember, a lady must always be demure."

Sanji just barely blocks getting the fan upside the head but Zoro keeps trying to beat him senseless anyway. It's bad enough without that kind of comment! Damn bastard love cook! Zoro should have known better than to let his guard down!

"I'm going to kill both of you!" Nami snaps. Zoro ignores her, managing for once to catch Sanji's leg as it slams down toward his shoulder.

"Ahem!" says another voice and Zoro looks over his shoulder to see Lady Agnes standing at the house door entrance, dressed in a cloak studded with peacock feathers. The cloak covers her body completely but looks entirely too flowy and nothing in particular looks to be holding it closed. Zoro swallows. He is suddenly remembering certain images of Kokoro-san he would rather forget forever. There has to be more underneath that. There has to be. If he has any shred of luck left at all… She stares at him, glances to Sanji then back to him and raises her eyebrows.

"Is there something you should be telling me, lover boy?" she says. Eh? Zoro blinks and looks at Sanji…then realizes he's still holding the cook's leg and shoves him away, backing up himself. Sanji stumbles but recovers gracefully and seems to fixed on staring at Lady Agnes with rising horror in his visible eye to even smoke properly.

"Aha haa… sorry about that," Nami says. "We were just leaving. Come on, Sanji-kun!" she fairly sings. Sanji doesn't move. Zoro is faintly astonished.

"Sanji-kun!" Nami snaps. Sanji remains still like…well like the Usopp mouse from earlier. After a moment a faint wind blows. Then Zoro hears thumping footsteps behind him and sees Nami stalk into his field of vision, grab Sanji by the shirt and pull him out. Zoro hears them leave. Hears the click of the door closing. Him and Lady Agnes are alone.

"Follows you everywhere, does she?" Lady Agnes asks. Zoro nods blankly, feeling his gut knot in several places. He has the presence of mind to hear the faint creaking sound of the fan and tucks it into his obi belt so it won't snap too…which is all well and good because in the next moment Lady Agnes smiles, pulls a hidden string and the peacock cloak flutters to the ground.

Thanks to the great and awesome Effie, and Liashi FNA Sora

Not to mention all my reviewers. I'm glad you guys like this so much. It's kinda freaking surprising.