Chapter 4: Dirk's POV
"Come on, Roxy, just let me go apologize!" I pleaded with her, one last time. She remained stiff as a rock. "Please, I made a mistake, but keeping me away will only let her think I meant it. I need to make this up to her. Just let me the fuck past."
She looked incredulous. "Do you even know what insecurity does to someone?"
"How can you say that?!"
"Stay away while I help my friend. You can apologize when you deserve the chance to apologize. Jane doesn't want to talk to you right now." Roxy slammed the door to Jane's house within the millisecond. The seconds following let me brood. Had Jane actually asked Roxy to keep me away? How long would she want me away? How could I get to her with Roxy as guard-dog? What would I do?
TT: Strike one, three and I'll be even deader.
GT: What did you do?
TT: I didn't get to do anything.
TT: Roxy stopped me at the door.
GT: Did you have a plan?
TT: There was definitely a plan.
TT: However, my brilliance cannot face off against the fierceness of Lalonde.
GT: Jane didn't even come downstairs?
TT: Nope. Not even a shadow on the staircase.
GT: That sounds rough.
GT: Perhaps I could use your blunders to fix my own relations with Janey.
TT: Bro.
GT: Simply joking.
TT: Good.
TT: Then my ass would be alone AND grounded.
GT: At least there is an upside.
TT: How is there an upside?
GT: We are joking together like the good ol' days.
GT: Maybe time and special circumstances actually do heal?
TT: Hahaha.
TT: Look, English.
TT: I'm sorry about how everything happened. You know that right?
GT: It was largely my fault as well.
TT: Yeah, no shit.
TT: But I'm over it. Hopefully, you're over it. EVeryone's over it.
GT: Except Jane.
TT: Nah, I think she's over it.
TT: But try to avoid fat jokes.
GT: Nice work there.
TT: Yeah. I'm gonna go get some sleep.
TT: This gaining forgiveness thing is hard work.
GT: Sweet dreams.
TT: Ha. Ha. Very funny.
I didn't actually get any sleep, though. I was too busy trying to think of a way to get Jane to forgive me. I couldn't stop getting distracted by how stupid it was. The shallow insensitive prick of the team manages to be a shallow insensitive prick, but then the prick wants forgiveness. Hah. When I go over there she'll just laugh, guaranteed. My plan to achieve forgiveness would do absolutely nothing.
I did have such a great plan too.
So apparently I had fallen asleep at one point. I woke up and it was probably about dawn. There was a puddle of drool on my desk table, and my hair was impossibly ruined. Okay, so maybe one strand was out of place, but fuck it looked ruined paired with the circles under my freakish orange eyes. I only got a little sleep. Restless uneventful sleep.
I looked in the mirror as I straightened my hair. Roxy asked if I even knew what insecurity does to a person. I should have just laughed in her face and walked in the other direction. MY eyes entertained the idea, reminding me of a fire with their unnatural color. Do I know what insecurity does to a person?