Take These Broken Wings
By Sinister Spiders
Chapter Four: Tea and Memories
"Now chew…" Severus directed, the redhead in front of him glared at him through sad emerald eyes. After a deep breath she turned and grabbed the bowl she had taken the food from and made to spit it back out. Severus covered her mouth with one hand and used the other to caress her warm cheek. "I told you to chew!" He growled. They glared at each other for a while- both stubborn and refusing to budge.
With an angry snarl she chewed the food which seemed to have the consistency of drying cement. He didn't break eye contact with her until she swallowed, then he handed her a glass of water. She didn't need to be told what to do with that.
"Now, was that so bad?" He asked mockingly. Her green eyes opened in shock and her mouth formed a perfect circle. He snickered. "There's the Lily I love!" he leant forward and kissed her softly.
Severus woke in a cold sweat and raked his fingers through his hair. He let out a sigh and got out of bed. He knew better than to try to get back to sleep after dreaming of Lily. He thought the dreams had stopped, but ever since talking to Ginny the first time after her trip to Godric's hollow he had been dreaming of Lily every night.
He closed his eyes and remembered the day that he dreamt about. She had found out only days earlier that her mother and father died in a car accident and had returned to her house for the funeral. He tried to owl her on numerous occasions, but his owl Hermes arrived back at the castle without a letter every time. It took him nearly three hours to convince Professor Slughorn that he should be allowed to visit her to see how she was doing. It was lucky for him that she was also a member of the Slug Club.
When he arrived at their house in the suburbs of London Petunia had let him in reluctantly; she had never been too fond of anything to do with magic. He stayed at her house for three long days before he had to return to Hogwarts. Later that year Lily had told him he was the reason she hadn't sunk into a lasting depression; his support showed her that life moved on.
With a frustrated groan he pulled some fresh clothes out of his wardrobe and made his way towards the bathroom, trying to banish Lily's face from his mind. He succeeded, but only to have Ginny's brown eyes replace Lily's green ones. He reached into the shower and turned the cold water tap on full- that ought to make him snap out of it.
Severus walked into the kitchen with a mind to make a cup of coffee. The cold shower he had taken had failed to distract him from his musings, but had succeeded in making him cold. He shook his head to himself as he opened the door. He stood rooted to the spot as his eyes adjusted to the light. It was five o'clock in the morning, it seemed unlikely that anyone would be awake at that time. When the shock of the bright light faded he was amazed to see Ginny sitting at the table drinking a cup of tea.
"Good morning Ginevra." He said as he walked past her to make himself a cup of tea.
"Morning" She replied. For a few minutes the only noise was the familiar sounds of Severus making his cup of morning tea. When he was finished he walked over to the table and took a seat opposite of her. He tried to make clandestine observations of her over the rim of his cup only to discover that she was purposefully avoiding his gaze. "You're up early." She said sounding slightly dejected. He surmised he had interrupted what she hoped would be an uneventful trip to the kitchen. There was no use going back to his room now.
"Couldn't sleep." He responded knowing that she would see through any excuse he made up. He had no work to do as it was school holidays, nor did he have anywhere important to be or anybody noteworthy to see.
"I suppose that makes two of us then." She sighed and took a sip of her tea. He shrugged.
"There will be nights like that; but when you are tired enough you will be able to sleep." He told her.
Ginny looked at Snape curiously. Under the bright kitchen light and sitting at the table there was no way she could hide from him. Or herself. He looked tired and slightly distracted.
"I hope I didn't wake you," she said, looking at him properly for the first time. His eyes rose to meet hers over the rim of his mug and attempted what she thought could be interpreted as a smile.
"No," he told her "not you…" She bit the inside of her lip and looked away. "It is good to see you out of your room though," he added as an afterthought and as soon as she looked over at him he looked away. "I …." He shook his head and stopped talking and she raised an eyebrow.
"You…?" She asked, he smirked and shook his head again.
"Never mind- it wasn't important." He drawled before taking a big gulp of his tea.
Severus and Ginny sat in silence for minutes before Ginny rose to make a second cup of tea for herself, taking Severus' empty cup off the table.
"White with no sugar?" She asked He was surprised that she had taken any notice. He nodded mutely and watched her as she turned her back and went about making their tea.
"You know," she begun in a hesitant voice, he nodded for her to continue even though she couldn't see him "I think what you said was right." He waited, not knowing where she was going with this line of conversation. She threw a teabag at the bin on the other side of the room and got it in, Severus smiled, it was interesting to see that the excellent aiming skills she had acquired as a chaser were still intact. "I can just imagine my mother scolding me for not getting out of my bed and looking after myself." She laughed to herself as she threw the second tea bag into the bin.
She turned around and made her way to the table, sliding his cup over to him. He picked it up and blew on it for a bit before taking a sip. Nice.
"And I can just imagine Fred and George would be trying to make light of the situation." Severus nodded impassively. There was nothing for him to say. She was silent for a minute or so. "What do I do now, Severus?" She whispered, sad eyes desperate for an answer. "What now, Sev?" Lily's question echoed through his mind. He took a breath. She is not Lily! He scolded himself for allowing the link between the two women to creep into his mind again.
"I will be going to Diagon Alley to buy some potions ingredients if you are interested in coming." He offered. Ginny's mouth formed a perfect circle of surprise at the suggestion of something so ordinary.
"I.. well, I just… Diagon Alley?" He could see thoughts racing through her mind at the speed of light. He sculled the rest of his tea and stood up.
"I will be leaving at nine o'clock sharp. Meet me at the front door if you are interested," he said walking over to the sink and dropping his cup in. He turned and made for the door stopping before he stepped into the corridor beyond, "Thanks for the tea."
Severus straightened his cloak and made his way towards the front door wondering if Ginny would be there to meet him.
"Hey!" Tonks called, he turned to see her waddling towards him "Where are you going?" Severus refrained from sighing. He knew that it was friendly to show interest in other people's affairs but frankly he found it quiet annoying.
"Diagon Alley…" He responded, she just looked at him. He let out a defeated sigh, "Would you like me to get you something while I'm there?" He added winning a bright smile from the magenta-haired woman.
"Well, now that you mention it; Remus and I would like some more chocolate frogs." She said reaching into her pocket and pulling out a fair amount of money.
"Remus wants chocolate frogs?" He drawled sarcastically, "I've never seen Remus eat any sort of chocolate." Tonks' cheeks reddened and she had the good sense to look away. "And how many chocolate frogs exactly? I don't think they want me to buy out their entire stock." A large grin spread across Tonks' face.
"Well, a handful would be nice… and Severus?" Severus grunted in response. "This is strictly between you and I." she winked. He rolled his eyes and took two of the coins from her hand before continuing on to the front door.
Ginny adjusted her scarf for the sixteenth time and looked at her watch. Five past nine. He must not want to go anymore. She grimaced and tore her scarf off, hanging it on the coat rack. She should have known better than to think Severus gave a damn. She hastily unbuttoned her overcoat, eager to get back to her room.
"You've gone and come back already, have you?" She heard Severus' drawl from the other side of the hall. She froze and turned to face him.
"I thought you weren't…." She begun, but watched him as he arrived at the coat rack beside her to put on his coat.
"No. As a matter of fact I was intercepted by Tonks and she begged me to run an errand for her. I said I was going, why would you think I wasn't?" He asked, zipping up his jacket and wrapping his scarf around his neck decisively.
"Well, it's just that it is five past nine and you're never la-"
"Late?" He interrupted looking at his watch "Well blast me, five minutes!" He drawled sarcastically.
"Ten points off Slytherin!" Ginny scolded jokingly and then bit her lip. She shouldn't be messing around; she was supposed to be mourning the loss of her family and friends.
"Ten points off Slytherin?" he asked incredulously. She turned away and felt a blush creeping up her face. "I would have taken twenty." And with that, he opened the door and stepped into the blinding white beyond.
The sun reflected into her eyes from the stark white snow. She was wrapped up tight against the cool winter chill, but her unprotected face tingled with the cold, she clenched her hands in her pockets and wished that she had thought to bring her gloves.
The noises of Diagon Alley assaulted her ears; vendors plying their goods, friends gossiping, children screaming, pigeons cooing. The smells were overwhelming her too- so many people in one place, the scent of food wafting from the cafes they passed. Ginny looked at Snape out of the corner of her eyes. He didn't seem too phased by these signs of life.
There were so many people….
Ginny sidestepped to avoid colliding with a young boy who was running towards Quality Quidditch Supplies which was displaying a new broom. Harry would have loved it; it had a streamlined design with a dark mahogany handle and deep yellow straws in the tail. The Victory 1999. Ginny suppressed a laugh. Severus cleared his throat next to her and she looked up at him questioningly. She looked to their left and her heart skipped a beat.
"Ginny!" She heard Luna Lovegood cry before she was engulfed in the girl's arms. "Ginny! I didn't know what happened to you… of course we all know about Harry, Ron and Hermione but we didn't know where you were…" Ginny felt Luna's arms relax as she pulled away from her and watched the blonde's eyebrows furrow when she noticed Snape.
"Uh, Luna… You know Severus…" Ginny said although no introduction was necessary. Severus nodded sharply.
"Yes Ginny, I have taught Luna for the past six years," he said sarcastically, Ginny blushed at her own stupidity. "I'll leave you two girls to it; I need to go to the Apothecary." Ginny went to protest- she had no desire to be left alone in Diagon Alley.
"So Ginny…" Luna started as Severus walked away "Snape?" Ginny shrugged.
"I am staying with Remus Lupin and his wife Nymphadora Tonks and so is Snape," she said by way of explanation.
"Oh that's right… I heard about the rest of your family," Ginny bit back tears, "But, why are you staying with Lupin?" Luna continued, not quiet seeing the connection.
"He was one of Mum and Dad's-" She begun but Luna interrupted her.
"That's right! I read in the Daily Prophet that they were aurors! So you parents were… wait a sec- the Order of the Phoenix…" Ginny bit her lip as the cogs turned in Luna's head, knowing all too well that it was useless trying to stop her, "Snape is part of the Order of the Phoenix?" She questioned, Ginny nodded and Luna snorted "Well, there is something you don't hear every day!" She mused with a shake of her head.
"Luna!" She heard a male voice call before Neville Longbottom came up from behind Luna and clamped a hand down on her shoulder. "You said you were going to Madam Malkins! I thought I had lost you again!" Neville stopped his scolding and noticed Ginny.
"Look who I found! I told you that I would bump into an old friend when my eyelash fell out last night!" Luna said proudly. Neville stared at Ginny for a moment before pulling her into a tight hug.
"I'm sorry to hear about Harry… and Ron and Hermione and your family…" He whispered into her ear, she swallowed back a sob and nodded. He pulled away and looked her up and down with a slight frown. "If you ever need anything…" he begun but stopped when his grandmother rapped him on the head sharply.
"I swear to you Neville…" she began in a shrill voice, "between you and Luna wandering off… Oh, hello Ginny." The old witch acknowledged Ginny with a curt nod.
"Hello Mrs. Longbottom." Ginny replied. The old woman frowned slightly.
"Sorry to hear about your losses," she said. Ginny nodded and supposed that she had better get used to hearing that. "They died for a good cause Ginny, just remember that," the old woman said. The pain was evident in her own eyes as she remembered the demise of her son and daughter-in-law. Ginny gave her a weak smile, somewhat humbled by the truth in her words. "Come on you two, we have to get home in time to listen to Christos Sizzle on the radio!" She turned and walked towards the Leaky Cauldron. Luna and Neville gave Ginny one last smile each before joining hands and following Neville's grandmother. Luna and Neville, she thought with a pang of jealousy and loss, don't know why I'm surprised…
Ginny was roused from her reflections when she received a rough bump from a middle-age wizard dressed in dark robes and a sense of emptiness flooded through her. She had never been alone in Diagon Alley. There was always someone there to chat with and keep her company. She looked around as people went about their business and bit her lip to stop herself from crying. There were too many people. Everything was too loud. Her heart began to pound. She braced herself and prepared to apparate back to Remus' house.
The feeling of a warm gloved hand on the small of her back grounded her and she let out a small gasp of surprise. The warmth radiated through her whole being and soothed her racing heart. She looked up to see Severus looking down at her with a small smile.
"Sorry if I made your reunion with Lovegood awkward," he drawled, "So, where to next?" he asked as if there was nothing wrong with the world.
Ginny rubbed her hands over the orange fabric and felt the bumps of the silver-embossed lettering underneath her finger tips. The Tales of Beadle the Bard, childhood memories of the stories flooded back. Her mother reading her stories from the volume before bed, she remembered the pretty pink cover of the one her father got her for her birthday… She remembered the moment when the Burrow was set alight by Death Eaters and all of her possessions went up in smoke. She flipped the book over and saw the price sticker on the back. With a sigh she reshelved it and walked over to Severus.
"I'll wait for you outside." She told him. When she opened the front door of the shop the bell jingled and a biting breeze stung her face. She wasn't waiting for long before her ex potions master emerged from the shop tucking his coin bag into his coat pocket. With a silent nod he motioned towards the Leaky Cauldron.
The homely smell of shepard's pie wafted over to Severus as he walked past one of the café's of Diagon Alley and his stomach grumbled in protest. Apparently it thought that two cups of tea weren't sufficient to provide him with energy.
"Would you like to get something to eat?" he asked, Ginny looked up at him confused.
"Something to eat?" She said and he nodded.
"You know," he begun "food- the stuff that-"
"I know what food is!" she snapped and he stopped himself from smirking, it is exactly the same tenacity he would have expected from Lily. "Are you sure that's ok?" she asked, he sighed and nodded. He could see that there are a thousand thoughts racing through her mind.
"Unless you don't want to be seen having lunch with me…" He said slowly and she looked surprise.
"No!" she said quickly, "It's just that I thought you wouldn't want to be seen having lunch with me." He put a hand on the small of her back, enjoying the contours of her body under his fingers. Stop it! He told himself, You are old enough to be her father! He led her off the street into the café and motioned at the waitress for a table of two. They sat down and were brought a teapot and two cups. Severus poured their tea and Ginny added her own sugar. Two sugars; no milk. Just like Lily. Severus took a deep gulp of the tea, thankful for the warmth it provided.
"It's funny you know," She said gesturing around her "while I was in my room it was like the world had screeched to a halt…" she stopped and had some more tea.
"And when you come outside you realize that, for some people, life is as it was." He finished. She nodded.
When the waitress came over they ordered their food and then fell silent. The silence persisted when their meals came and even while they ate. When the time came to pay Ginny reached into her pocket but Severus reached over the table and stilled her hand, she looked at him questioningly, and he threw some coins from his pocket onto the table.
Ginny saw the money for the meals roll onto the table and closed her eyes to hold back the emotions that this unexpected kindness brought upon her. She took a deep breath and let her eyelids part to find that Severus was looking at her.
"Thank you." She said, barely louder than a whisper. He gave a small nod and she knew that he understood that she wasn't talking about the meal.
Severus sat in his office reading a new book he had bought that day on the usefulness of different types of animal bile in potion making and turned a brown-paper wrapped parcel over in his spare hand. There was a knock on his door.
"Yes?" he enquired, the door opened and he saw Remus standing there. "What is it?" he asked snapping his book shut.
"It is dinner time…" Remus said, Severus nodded, "and I wanted to thank you for getting those frogs for Nymphadora."
"What frogs?" Severus asked, as far as Tonks told him he knew nothing of it.
"The chocolate frogs you bought … oh," Remus sighed, "Well, thanks anyway."
"I'll be down in a minute." Severus said, opening his desk draw and dropping the book into it. He stood up and brushed past Remus at the door on his way to the bathroom.
"Ginny's there too," he said. Severus turned quickly to face his old peer, looking at him with slightly widened eyes.
"Very well," Severus said with a curt nod at the man and walked the opposite direction to which he had originally intended to go.
"You know," called Remus, Severus waited while the other man caught up to him, "she reminds me a lot of Lily…"
Dinner was quiet nice. Remus and Tonks had filled what would have been sullen silences with their memories of people in the Order who has passed away. Severus smiled politely most of the time, but was pleasantly surprised when Ginny's voice piped up some new insight into their lost friend's lives. They had been at the table for over an hour when Tonks let out a long sigh and rubbed her rounded stomach.
"Ooof!" she groaned, leaning back into her chair "I think it is time for me and this little puffskein to get some sleep!" she announced. Remus jumped to his feet to help her out of the chair and walked her towards the door with one arm around her shoulders. Severus couldn't help but feel a deep-seated twinge of jealousy flicker in his heart at the tenderness that the two shared.
"I'll come back in a while to fix the dishes," Remus said.
"Never mind!" Ginny volunteered jumping out of her seat, "I'll do them!" Remus and Tonks turned.
"Are you sure?" Remus asked, Ginny nodded and shooed them away before clearing the table efficiently. She stood at the kitchen sink and ran the water adding more detergent than was practical.
"I like bubbles," she said with a smile as she dumped the first glass into the water and started washing.
"You know," Severus begun "you could do that with magic." She laughed.
"I can just imagine mum telling me off for using magic when I have two good hands!" she said with a small giggle, "plus… It keeps me busy." She added in a more sober tone, and Severus knew that this was the real reason for not using magic. He got out of his seat and without a word, started to wipe up the soapy dishes.
Ginny looks nice when she concentrates, he decided before he had the chance to banish the thought from his mind. Her face was screwed up in effort as she attempted to scrub the last of the pots free of congealed and slightly burnt gravy. With a small triumphant "Aha!" she held the clean pot up for Severus and pulled the plug in the sink. He watched as she dried her hands on the legs of her jeans.
"Well…" She said looking around, "I suppose I'd best be off to bed." He nodded and watched as she made for the door.
"No!" he called after her, she turned and he could see the confusion on her face. "I- … wait here," he told her and put the half-dry pot and tea towel onto the kitchen bench.
Ginny stood rooted to the spot as Severus disappeared down the hallway only to return moments later with a brown-paper wrapped package in his hands. He stood in front of her and looked down awkwardly. He held the package out towards her and she took it apprehensively.
"Open it," Severus directed as Ginny looked at him quizzically. She pulled the brown paper away from the book and ran her hand over the orange cover slowly.
"The Tales of Beedle the Bard…" She whispered as she fingered the silver lettering. She looked up into Severus' eyes and he saw a storm of emotions behind them. Tears welled up and he could feel her breath ragged and warm on his chest. "Thank you…" She said. In that moment the torrent of emotions stopped and there was a familiar look in her eyes. He was about to protest when she wrapped her arms around him and pulled his face down so it was barely a centimeter from hers. "Thank you," she murmured softly, before closing the gap between their lips.
The world spun from underneath him and all the sounds of night stopped. He wrapped his arms around Ginny's body and pulled her closer to him ignoring that nagging voice telling him how wrong the situation was. She deepened the kiss and the taste of her drove his body wild. Every nerve in his body was stretched to breaking point, his blood pulsing through his veins.
A gasp of shock escaped from his lips when Ginny pushed him back against the table continued kissing him, her hands coming up to hold his face, then trailing through his hair and down his back. After a few more minutes of fevered kissing she pulled her lips off his. "Thank you," she whispered before snatching her book of the table and fleeing from the room.
Severus watched as Ginny left the room into the dark corridor beyond and brought his finger up to trace his lips, still burning from the feeling of Ginny's kiss.
A/N: So, first up I would like to say a massive thankyou to my new Beta, Morgan (The-Butcher-Bunny).
Secondly, I would like to apologize for the amount of time it took to get around to writing this chapter. Considering it took no more than three hours to write I have to say I am quiet ashamed of myself! Anyway, the next chapter is underway and I am incredibly determined to finish this fic within the next month (hopefully less).
To all those who read and reviewed- thank you for your comments and encouragement; I hope that this chapter- and the ones to follow- will be worth the wait.
Happy reading,
Sinister Spiders