Disclaimer: *sigh* I still don't own the Cullen's.

Chapter Four:

He shouldn't have come here. It was far too dangerous with the monster in him being so close to the surface.

Watching her sleep used to calm him, he could go for hours visually tracing every curve of her face and mesmerized by the rise and fall of her chest when she breathed. She made him believe that he could be human, and for her he ignored everything in him that screamed that they weren't right. He allowed the charade of being a 'normal' couple continue; taking no notice of Rosalie's opposition to the idea, Carlisle's reluctance and Jasper's struggle to control his self around her. He smothered his inner voice as it expressed its disgust and denied it the chance to judge her. He had always known that there was an integral part of him that wasn't happy, but he ignored it.

Now as he stared down at her he could no longer ignore the shouts and scfreams in his head. She aggravated his beast, and he was now struggling to force it to his will. The monster in him had felt true calm; for the briefest of moment that it had bathed in the purity of her it would no longer acknowledge anything else. The growing darkness that had spread like a stain across his soul even while he thought himself in love had halted at the sense of her.

He wasn't going to deny himself and keep imagining that this... contented feeling was still adequate. Bella had helped him feel happy for the time that they had been together and for that he would always be grateful. But she wasn't enough anymore, and he was lying to himself if he kept thinking that she was.

He needed to speak to his father; he had to find out why this stranger made him feel this way. Before he made any decisions regarding his relationship with Bella and before he attempted to make contact with Lija O'Carroll.

Gracefully leaping out of Bella's bedroom window he became a blur to the human eye as he made his way home. Entering the Cullen residence he scanned the house to locate his father and found him pacing in his study. As he made his way there he found he was unable to move, restricted with an armful of Pixie.

"What? Alice!" he asked, stunned, only to find himself with a mouthful of her hair.

If he had been human he would have died from asphyxiation; she had her thin arms wrapped snugly around his neck and her legs were tightly wrapped around his waist. She had buried her face in his shoulder and from the sniffling sounds that he could hear, it sounded like she was crying.

"Alice? Are you o.k.?"

"I'm fine," was the muffled reply, still holding on tightly.

"Then do you want to get off, I need to speak to Carlisle."

Sniffle

"Alice?"

Finally, the seer raised her head and what Edward saw etched on her small face would stay with him for a very long time.

She looked overjoyed and Edward realised that had she been able to cry tears it would have been pouring down her face by now. He was so humbled by the emotion that she felt when she looked at him that he swore that whatever it was that made her this happy, he'd try his best to keep it with her. Curious as to the source of her happiness he tried to read her mind but was stopped when his sister unwound her arms and brought her hands around to cradle his face.

"I know you want to know Eddy. But I'm going to ask you not to look. Just know that Jasper and I are so happy for you and when Carlisle and Esme and even Rose and Emmett find out, they will be too. We'll support you... whatever may come Eddy... we'll be here with you."

With those passionate words Alice hopped gracefully out of his arms and walked away, seizing her mate's hand as she made her way past. Edward looked after her in bewilderment, touched by her obvious joy and sincerity, and arched his eyebrow in question at Jasper. His only answer was a warm smile and a subtle tilt of the head towards the stairs before the odd couple disappeared into the living room.

Knocking once on his sire's office door before entering, Edward took his time in crossing the room trying to get his thoughts in order. The last time he had made this walk his emotions were off kilter because of Bella and he had needed reassurance from his sire that he wouldn't endanger the family by pursuing a relationship with her. Now he was making the walk to seek an answer as to why he was so willing to throw that hard earned relationship away.

"Son, why don't you have a seat," Carlisle smiled encouragingly, motioning towards the opposite chair. The room was dark, as they had perfect night vision they had no need for light.

As he sat, Carlisle waited for Edward to speak. He had known something was unbalanced in his 'youngest' child for the last three days. When Jasper and Alice had come home and worriedly told them of Edward's powerful reaction to the new arrival in town, his first thought was that his son had another singer to resist. While EdwFard and his brothers had gone hunting that night, he had contacted Tanya in Alaska and requested shelter for his family should they find the need to leave the area suddenly. But unlike the first time he met Bella, where Edward had raged for hours before making his decision to leave, the new arrival caused his son to brood and become reserved, even with his brothers who he was usually very active with.

Carlisle no longer worried that Rosalie's new friend was a singer, he worried more that she was a danger to his son in a way that they had never anticipated or had set up contingency plans for. She was an unknown, with the power to create such intense emotions in his son, and it made her a bigger threat to the family then Bella could ever be.

"I- I don't know what it is," Edward started uncertainly. Eyes focused on the opposite wall, hands clenching and unclenching in his lap.

"I don't know what it is... but she makes me... the animal in me, feel so... alive. I'm- There... She has this l-light around her mind... and it feels... good. And I- ... its not like Bella's mind where I can't read it... I know I can read hers but I don't want to read it...it doesn't want me to read it, not yet... And the monster in me agrees, it doesn't want to wait but... it wants her to share..."

With every rambling broken sentence coming out of his son's mouth, Carlisle's eyes widened in shock, he didn't dare express his joy until he knew it was what he thought it was, but he couldn't suppress the hope that he felt. If he had been human, his heart would be beating three times its normal rhythm and he would most likely have had a heart attack. He had to confirm his suspicions first; he needed to know if it was real. For his son, he very much wanted it to be real.

"Edward. You said that the 'monster in me agrees,' are you telling me that you allowed that part of you out? That you were able to understand it? And you didn't lose yourself in it?"

"I did lose control..."

Carlisle's hope plummeted at that, if she was who he thought she was then there would have been no way he would have lost control of the feral part in him. But Edward wasn't finished, and his next words caused Carlisle to hope once again.

"... Bella distracted me and I almost killed her... it was as if I walked through a door and walked right off the cliff... but that part of me Carlisle, it- I was so angry... We liked where it was... it was safe and we could hide there for days... and in there... nothing could harm us..."

"Edward... Son... this is important... did you ever feel the need to kill her? Did that feral part of you want to seek her out? Destroy her? Did she –"

"God No! I didn't... I'd never harm her! ... I don't know anything else right now Carlisle... but I know that I'd never hurt her... I'm just... C- Carlisle what's wrong with me?"

"Absolutely nothing Edward, in fact, from the moment that you saw her, you'll never be 'wrong' ever again!"

He stated that with such loud conviction that Edward had to believe him, his father had never led him wrong before, and he knew something that would explain all these chaotic emotions away.

"You have never met the Volturi and I hope that you never have a chance to, but among its members and one of its leader's is a vampire named Marcus. I have been told that the Marcus that exists now is very different from the Marcus that existed when Didyme was alive.

Didyme was to Marcus what the sun is to nature and her death pushed him into this apathetic state. Very likely, the only reason why he is still alive is because Aro is keeping him here but I do not doubt that if the choice was his own he would have died with her."

"I don't understand Carlisle, what has the Volturi leader got to do with my situation?" Edward asked frustrated.

"Because Didyme was Marcus' true mate, just like Esme is mine, Alice is Jasper's and Rosalie is Emmett's. And from what I have deduced in what you have told me thus far, Miss O'Carroll is most definitely yours."

Edward gaped almost comically at his Sire. His mouth opened and closed to utter a retort only to find no sound coming out. A part of his brain and the entirety of soul knew what Carlisle was saying was true, but the other part, the part that couldn't really believe that he'd finally found someone after a century of searching, just didn't want to get its hopes up to find it crushed when the feeling left.

"I don't think so!"

Carlisle stifled an almost maniacal grin as he considered the bronze haired vampire before him. As much as he loved his son he was not blind to his flaws, and one of them was Edward's almost smug superiority in his dealings with Bella or any human for that matter. He had always liked to boast to Rosalie that he managed the humans better then she did, but in actual fact they were very much alike. Where Rosalie liked to deal with them openly through snobbish condescension, Edward maintained his haughtiness in the shadows, showing only what the humans wanted to see and manipulating them to see it. He had done this, was in fact still doing this, in his relationship with Bella by setting all the rules as to how they interacted. Now he had finally discovered his mate and although Carlisle had not yet met her, if she and Rosalie got along so well it would mean that there was something to her that made her worthy in Rosalie's sometimes ego-centric mind, he doubted that she would ever allow Edward that much leeway in their relationship.

When he had claimed Esme it had been difficult watching her leave the first time he had found her, but she was only 16 and his 300 year old mind couldn't reconcile her strength with his beast, the second time they met age was no longer an issue as much as time. With Jasper he didn't even need to go looking, Alice found him and had claimed him before the poor boy even knew what or who she was. As for Rosalie she had denied Emmett for months because she wanted to choose when it would happen, but Emmett had eventually had enough of humouring her and claimed her anyway amidst her vocal protestations and Edward's glee. None of them had let on to their brother just how special finding their mate really was; he just wouldn't have understood the emotions that led up to the moment until it actually happened to him. They were all going to enjoy watching Edward squirm.

"Oh no Edward, I do not think you have a choice. Son, take it from the voice of experience. Save yourself the necessary confusion and eventual humiliation that comes from denying it. Just accept it and let us help you draw up your plan... of attack."

"I am not going to war Carlisle! We don't even know if this is real," Edward protested. "What about if it turns out that Bella was my mate and I hurt her for no reason just to go gallivanting after a pretty face with an interesting mind?"

"Come on Eddy, now you're just lying to yourself."

"What about if I'm not and the reluctance that I'm feeling is because I was right? What then?"

"She's not your mate Edward, I am becoming... frustrated that you continue to deny yourself the truth."

"How do you know?! How can you be so sure?!"

"Because you never want to kill the other part of your soul, Edward! And regardless of what Miss Swan meant to you, the truth of the matter is that you have always... wanted... to kill her!" he exploded, impatient with the younger vampires continued denials. He didn't know why he kept vocally refuting all the evidence in front of him, when it was obvious in his stance and his eyes that he had already accepted it as truth. When Edward started laughing, he became concerned that in pushing him so hard to acknowledge what was right before him he had finally broken him.

"The dogs in La Push warned Bella that I would hurt her, warned her that I wasn't in love with her and they were right all along. This is too cruel Carlisle, even for our kind, I cannot just break off our relationship one day and then start chasing after my mate the next, no matter how much I want it. I can't think of what to do and what to say to her to make this easy, I know she'll have a hard time accepting it."

"I'll help you!" was the cheerful reply.

Carlisle and Edward looked at each other in weary resignation before tilting their heads down to stare at the floor. It was Carlisle who addressed it, exasperated and in a voice so soft that it would not have been heard by a human sitting across the room.

"Rosalie! Your brother and I are talking... stop listening in!"

"Super vampire hearing Carlisle!" was the irritated reply from the downstairs living room.

The immortal occupants of the house couldn't help the laughter that followed. It was a sound filled with joy, with hope for the future and most importantly of solidarity against the coming unknown.

Edward didn't go to school the morning after the big reveal, or the following day or even the following week. In fact, today (Friday) would mark two weeks since he had last spoken with Bella or since he had last seen his newly discovered mate. He had avoided taking any calls from his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend and had sped into the surrounding woodlands whenever he heard her truck come up the drive, she most likely knew that he was avoiding her but she didn't understand why. Alice and Esme had taken it upon themselves to make excuses for him whenever she'd drop by unexpectedly and had even gone so far as to tell her to stay away for a while. According to Jasper, Bella had become painfully withdrawn over the fortnight he had been absent and was starting to look gaunt, more so then she was usually.

During their time apart, he had gone through many different scenario's to figure out a way to break up with her without shattering her already fragile confidence, often times seeking advice from his family but he still couldn't figure out how he was going to make it easy on the girl. His main fear was that after he broke things off with her, her sorrow would turn to bitterness and anger and she would decide to risk the Cullen's wrath by letting their secret out to the world.

Meanwhile, Rosalie had continued to build her friendship with his mate and had come home after their agreed upon shopping trip to Port Angeles, regaling them with entertaining stories about their day. Watching their outing through her mind with part envy, part curiosity and a healthy dose of possessiveness, he realised just how beautiful his mate was. She would never match the beauty of his blonde sister but to him she was absolutely perfect. Her dark hair, ivory toned skin, defined bone structure, plump glossed up lips and then to top it all off the breath-taking green eyes, it made him wish for a moment that he was human just so that he could use the cliché 'she stole my breath away.'

He discovered many things about his eventual mate through Rosalie's eyes, things that he never thought would have appealed to him. She walked with unpractised grace, laughed with all her heart, and loved her son without restraint. He was fiercely turned on by how she unconsciously ran her thumb over her full lips when she was thinking and thought it endearing whenever she squinted to see things. He enjoyed watching her bicker with Rosalie over who would drive and he fell in love with her quick mind and sharp wit as she held her own and gave as good as she got against Rosalie's sarcasm. Then when she ended up driving down a one-way street because she couldn't see the sign, he laughed uncontrollably when she told the cop that it was all Rosalie's fault.

His mate was already perfect in his eyes and he hadn't yet met her in person, but if that wasn't enough he felt an overwhelming gratitude to her when she unwittingly told Rosalie the plan that he needed to break up with Bella. Dialling a number on his mobile phone, he couldn't help but think back to Wednesday to what he heard in his sister's memories.

"So your brother wants to leave Bella but he doesn't know how he'd do it without hurting her?"

Yes. She's very... soft, and very easily hurt. The girl has no backbone... and a huge side helping of paranoia.

"Your brother is avoiding the girlfriend he's going to ditch because he's trying to find a way to ditch her, meanwhile he has his family running diversions for him and his sister's new friend just found out that he's about to ditch her before she did. If I was her I'd be paranoid too."

I'll never had that problem; Emmett would never leave me. But if he did they'd find his body in ashes.

"You know, you remind me of a lady I once knew, she was hugely psychotic too."

Did she have problems with her brother's girlfriends as well? What did she do about it?

"Her problem wasn't with a brother's girlfriend; it was with a niece's husband. And to answer your question, she cut out the husband's heart and tortured her niece almost to death. Hmmm... you know? Her name was Bella too, so maybe you should be careful?"

"Ha! Bitch wouldn't stand a chance. I'd tear out her eyes. But with all seriousness Lija, what would you do if you were in Edward's shoes?"

"Seriously? As far as I'm concerned there's no way to easily dump a girl. There'll be hearts broken regardless, the only thing you can do is minimise the emotional fallout. I'd at least make sure that Bella had someone to support her after he left. Does the girl have any friends that don't run in the same circles as your brother? She'll need someone that can be biased in her favour."

"You're too nice. You need to stop that. Just think of yourself once in a while, I have no idea why we're even friends. You're not even pretty and you're fat!"

"I'm not the one with big cow feet, and please, I saw you try on that lingerie set, you're not fooling anyone when you tell them that you're a natural blonde. Your carpet doesn't even match the drapes."

Edward grinned as he held the phone up to his ear, there was no malice or seriousness to their insults and he wasn't the only one that couldn't wait until they could see it live, for the first time in his life he looked forward to the eternity that would come filled with friendly bickering and love. But first he needed to deal with Bella.

"Hello?"

"Bella," he said softly.

"Edward? Oh my god Edward! I've been trying to call you all this time but you haven't been answering my calls and I came around – "

"I've been busy," he stated much more sharply then he intended. Counting to three mentally to calm himself down he refocused on the conversation.

"What's Jacob Black's number?" he asked, composed. He memorised the number as it was recited and ignored her questions to why he needed it.

"Bella I need to talk to you... in person."

"A-Alright," was the hesitant reply, he could tell by the tone of her voice that she was worried now. "Do I c-come to your house or will you be coming here or will we be –"

He cut her off before she could complete her rambling sentence, gentle he reminded himself firmly, you need to be patient and gentle.

"No. I'll send someone to pick you up and take you there."

"O-Okay, I'll wait for Alice –" she started before being cut off once again.

"It won't be Alice. Be ready by six, I'll see you tonight," He said impatiently before promptly hanging up on her. As soon as the call had ended he dialled the number that Bella had given him. He was taking Lija's advice and making sure that Bella had someone there for her, he had noticed that apart from Alice, the only other person his soon to be ex-girlfriend was even remotely close to, was Jacob Black.

"Yeah?" came the greeting.

"Jacob Black?" he asked in response.

"Yeah. Who wants to know?" was the curious reply. Edward snorted in his head, Rosalie was right; the mutts in La Push really did lack manners.

"Edward Cullen."

"What the hell do you want? And how did you get this number?" Jacob asked heatedly.

"The answer to both those questions mutt is Bella," he replied somewhat condescendingly, he couldn't help his tone, the wolves always brought the worst out of him – even if this Black wasn't yet one.

"Why would Bella give you my number? Is she okay? You better not have hurt her."

"Because I asked her for it. She is for now. I haven't hurt her... yet."

"What the fuckin' hell does that mean?" Jacob exploded, breathing heavily into the phone.

"It means that you need to be there when I do. I'm going to break up with her tonight," he stated plainly.

The enraged reply from Jacob Black was both heavily laden with expletives and long winded in its length, if Edward's patience wasn't already frayed due to not being able to be with his mate, he might have actually been impressed by it. But as it turned out, he was on edge and he wasn't impressed. Interrupting Jacob's animated spiel on what Edward could do with his now deceased mother; Edward went back to the purpose of his call, with a lot more bite then necessary.

"If you do not want to be there for her Black then I'm sure I can find someone else. But I assumed that as her friend you might like to be the one to pick up the pieces when I get through with shattering her heart. Have you not wished for something just like this to happen so you could have your chance?" he mocked derisively.

"Go fuck yourself Cullen! You know shit! I'm not going to turn up to watch you tear her apart, she doesn't deserve that from you, fuck its not enough that you're going to hurt her but now you want someone to watch?"

"For someone who considers himself Bella's friend you aren't very bright," he said in scorn, "Would you rather that I dump her and then left her in the woods by herself to walk home? Or do you think she'll take up my offer to drive her home, thereby emphasizing her humiliation?"

Edward quickly moved the phone away from his ear, but the detailed cussing that followed did not need vampire hearing to be heard. Once there was silence from the other side he held the phone back to his ear.

"Shit... Shit... Fuck-a-duck! Fine! Where are you doing this, what time, I'll see your ass there!"

"Not so fast puppy, you need to pick up Bella. There's a small clearing just south of the La Push boundary marker, and a dirt road leading there, Bella knows where it is, just tell her that it's the place that I took her to for the picnic. Be there at six tonight."

"Man, you're cold... whatever – "

Edward didn't have a chance to hear what else Jacob had to say as he terminated the call. He had two hours until he had to meet with Bella, walking with human speed he made his way towards his piano; he felt like composing a song.

A/N: I rewrote this chapter three times and this is what I finally came up with and also what I'm happy with. Anyway, just because I'm happy with it doesn't mean that I think I did it right, so I need you to Review and tell me what it is that I've done wrong (or right!). Are the characters annoying you? Is this story moving too slow? Moving too fast? Too wordy? Not enough words? Too much dialogue? Not enough dialogue? Who really cares? :) Please review and keep me sane.

EDIT 1: I'm curious, so I have a poll up on my profile page. Do me a favor and answer it? It'll be interesting to know.

There are some very intelligent readers on here :) And one of them asked a really good question that I had originally included an answer for in Carlisle's speech in the first two drafts of this chapter and then cut on the third. The question was (paraphrased): Why would Carlisle allow Edward to be with Bella if he knew that she wasn't his true mate, knowing that if she was turned that they would be together forever?

My reply was:
- Not all Vampires will ever meet their true mate, its never guaranteed that they are still alive or that they would ever be found. For e.g; can you imagine if Lija had decided to move to NZ instead of Forks? Or only decided to come to Forks when she was in her late 80's?. Carlisle had to wait 200-something years before Esme to come along and he had let her go even knowing who she was, Jasper had to wait a couple of decades and Emmett met Rosalie straight away. The way Carlisle saw it was that if Edward was content with Bella then he wasn't going to begrudge his son that happiness or make him wait for something that may never come. And for all intents and purposes, Edward did care for Bella on some level even if it would never be the level in which he could have loved his mate.

Hope that answers anyone else who questioned that, especially thank you to Stefblack who brought it to my attention.