SUE WARS.
CHAPTER 4: THE FINAL BATTLE. OR THE ONLY BATTLE.

Hermione woke the others who had fallen asleep in that time and told them all that she and Ginny had learned on that awesome conspiracy theory site.
"Alright girls, we've got work to do." Hermione said, pacing around in front of the line of people with her hands behind her back. Suddenly, she reached out and pulled a string. A map of Hogwarts came rolling down.
"We are here." Hermione whacked a certain spot on the map with a stick. "I have determined that the Mary Sues are here, here, here, and here." She hit the map with the stick in all those places.
"Now are secret weapon can only be released in these rooms." she pointed to two rooms."Because the windows are high enough to prevent an escape. Some how we're going to have to get all the Sues in these rooms. Anyone got any ideas as to how we do that?" Hermione asked.
Padma stepped up. "Permission to speak, sir? Um, Ma'am?"
The more Hermione heard stuff like that, the more she liked it. "Yes, Padma?"
"What if we just ran around and screamed really loud so that they would follow us into those rooms?" Padma asked.
Hermione beamed at her. "That, Padma, is a horrible idea! You see, then some of us would be killed from The Secret Weapon because we'd be trapped in the same room with it."
Ginny shook her head at Padma and turned to Hermione "We could trick all the boys into going into those rooms, that way the Mary Sues would follow and we could be ready with The you know what."
Hermione smiled. "Now that is the type of thinking all of you should be doing! But we'll have to be careful, look at this." Hermione went over to the computer and brought her other camera that she had conveniently installed. The image on the screen was of two Sues standing in front of the trap door, holding machine guns.
Hermione turned around. "See? Also, says that it's important to wear sunglasses around the Sues cause they can blind you with their beauty and radiance so here you go." Hermione gave all of them huge black sun glasses. "Alright now, Ginny, get the You Know What ready. We'll be leaving in just a few minutes."

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Luna climbed out of the trap door a while later. Everyone else had decided that she wasn't really useful so she could be the one to get the Sues away from the doors.
The Sues aimed and shot at her, but she ran away, screaming.
Hermione jumped out of the Panic Room, followed by everyone else.
"OK, Ginny, you take the others and go to the dungeons. I'll send the guys down there." Hermione whispered. Ginny nodded and took off.
Hermione took a deep breath and pushed the Great Hall doors open.
The Sues were every where. Hermione could see that it was to late for some of the guys.
"Oh God," She whispered, turning to Cho. "We don't have time for the plan, we have to go now!" Then she ran off into the crowd with some others following her. Once they had the weapon in the center of the room, Hermione gave the signal: She stood up on a table a screamed " RELEASE THE PIGEONS!!!"
In a flurry of wings, the girls pulled open a cage and released the pigeons.
Screams erupted in the hall and Mary Sues dove out of the way of the attacking birds.
Hermione ran through the chaos, narrowly avoiding getting her head eaten off by a pigeon. She caught sight of Ron, who was screaming his lungs out. She grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the room.
"MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!" She yelled at the others, standing by the doors and pushing her friends out. Hermione and Cho pushed the doors shut on the screaming Sues, but not before they saw what the pigeons were doing: The insane birds were grabbing at the Mary Sues' hair, lifting them off the ground and everything.
"What about the other guys?!?!" One of the girls sobbed.
"The pigeons will leave them alone!" Hermione assured her.
"Guys!" Someone gasped. The others turned around and saw Luna standing there.
"Oh yeah, Luna! Yes, she died a true hero!" Hermione said dramatically.
"I'm...not dead." Luna said.
"Of course you are." And then Hermione ignored her the rest of the night.
They waited until all the screams stopped to open the doors.
Hermione popped her head through the door way and gasped. All over the room guys were sitting up and pushing tables and chairs off of themselves. The pigeons had made nests all over the ceiling of what looked a lot of Mary Sue hair. There were piles of dust in the shape of people all over the floor.
"What happened?" Harry asked, brushing dust off his clothes.
"We saved your unworthy lives." Hermione snapped.
"How?" Asked Snape.
"Well, we found this amazing web site that told us the secret to destroying the Sues: Their hair." Hermione said simply.
"But the pigeons killed them." Some random boy pointed out.
All the girls shook their heads pityingly at the boys stupidity.
"No, no, silly boys. You know how Mary Sues are famous for their unnaturally shiny hair? Well, it just so happens that pigeons are attracted to shiny things. That's why they didn't hurt you guys, you have human hair." Hermione told them, very pleased by her own brilliance.
"Wow." All the boys stared at her in awe.
Then, someone coughed from the teachers' table.
Hermione looked up and gasped. Dumbledore had unnaturally shiny hair! X0
Dumbledore stood up, looking a mess.
"Dumbledore, your alive!" They all sobbed with happiness.
"Yes, I am. Now, I was going to expel you for bringing pigeons in here, but since you saved the world, 100 points to Griffyndor!"
They all cheered and every body lived happily ever after!

END NOTES: Hope you guys liked that chapter! Please review!! And thank you, those who did review! D