Time: 2 days after our heroes read the Get Rich Chain Letter Spam or the 5th day of our heroes' captivity (whichever you the reader prefer)

Time of day: Morning, or at least what passes for morning for our heroes

Place: In the bathroom on the Satellite of Degenerates (SOD)

Bret finished shampooing his hair and rinsing out the suds. The next thing to do was condition his hair.

Bret reached through the curtain for the bottle of conditioner, grabbed the bottle and brought it into the shower. He opened the bottle and started to dump some of the contents onto his hair. However, what came out did not feel like conditioner to his head. Whatever fell on his head did not have a creamy, greasy feeling like conditioner did. Instead, it felt oily and greasy.

The Hitman brought the bottle in front of him. The dark colored container made it so he couldn't see the contents inside, so he poured some of it into his hand. When he did this, his hand became covered in yellow liquid. The liquid was greasy.

"Oil!. Somebody's put oil in my conditioner bottle," thought Bret. Most likely, it was vegetable oil from the kitchen. But who the hell…

Then, Bret had a feeling. He put the bottle of oil down on the sink and started to step out of the shower. He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around himself as he finished stepping out. With his feet on the bathroom floor and his towel firmly wrapped around his waist, he picked up the bottle of oil. Leaving the shower running, the Hitman walked to the bathroom door.

He stood outside the door so that when he opened it, his body wouldn't be visible to the other side. Quickly, the Hitman opened the door and with the hand holding the bottle…

Tossed the bottle's contents outside of the door. He then quickly closed the door.

Bret heard two voices sound out in disgust as the oil drenched them. As Bret expected, a knock on the door followed.

Bret opened it to find Shawn and Hunter dripping in oil. Shawn appeared to be wearing more of the substance than Hunter.

Shawn: (disgusted) That was not supposed to happen. (makes a disgusted sound in the back of his throat) I'm covered, now I need a shower.

Bret: Serves you right. (pause) You two were never drunk last night, were you?

Shawn: How'd you guess?

Bret: Because if you really were, you would have been too hung over to pull that stunt with the oil on me just now.

Shawn: What's the big deal? Your hair's oily anyway.

Bret: It is not. I wet it with water. (pause) I can't believe you did this after I took care of you last night.

Hunter: You know, you did a really good job. Shawn and I made a bet before hand on whether or not you'd take care of us. I won.

Shawn: (to Hunter) After what Bret's blamed me for over the years, how was I supposed to know that he'd do everything he did last night?

Bret: (ranting) I did things like lift you up so you could vomit into a bucket, so that you wouldn't choke on it, all because I didn't want you dying on me because I didn't want to go to jail for negligent homicide when we get back to Earth.

Shawn: And if you really had saved me from dying, I suppose I'd have to say thank you, but since you didn't, I won't.

Bret: And if you're ever really dying, I'll remember this day and refuse to offer help. (Shawn glares) How'd you guys make yourselves throw up and smell badly without drinking anyway?

Hunter: Bad breath and vomit inducing drugs...(almost nervously) courtesy of Vince.

Bret: (asking in disbelief) Vince was in on this?

Hunter: Only because on the night we read our first spam, after you and the Kid had gone to bed, Vince heard us plotting to pull a prank on you. He wanted in.

Bret: (outraged) And you accepted his help?

Hunter: Hey, I just wanted to test you and see if you would be there for us like a leader should. Shawn and Vince were the ones that wanted to annoy you. (after a pause) Plus, Vince wanted someone to test the vomit drugs, so that possibly, he could have a wrestler use them during a RAW show. One side effect is that they do give you a headache.

Shawn: And a scratchy throat.

Bret: I blame you for this Shawn.

Shawn: You blame me for everything, what else is new?

Bret: The fact that we should be working together is new. We're supposed to try to get along in order to survive Vince's evil. You're days of working with Vince are supposed to be over.

Shawn: They are.

Bret: Then why'd you pull this shit?

Shawn: I don't know Bret, this is just something I had to do. Like Hunter, I needed to see what you would do in a crisis. And you came through. I respect you for that.

Bret: Am I supposed to buy that?

Shawn: Look, I'm sorry.

Bret: I'm not gonna buy that either, and I doubt the Kid will accept an apology after having to clean up the mess you and Hunter left last night. Now, excuse me…(he slams the door right in DX's face and heads back to his shower)

Shawn: (he and Hunter have been left to think about what they've done) Hunter…

Hunter: Yeah Shawn…

Shawn: We better pray that nothing life threatening happens to either of us for a while.

End of part 3

What did you think?