AN: Takes place after episode 8.
"Do I really have to do this?" Jaune groused.
"Yes!" three voices answered in unison. Saphron was flanked by her wife Terra and Jaune's it's-not-like-that-she's-just-my best friend Ruby. There would be no escape.
"Stop whining and move a little to the right, you're blocking the hole. And hold that sign straight!" Saphron snapped, lining up the shot with her scroll. She'd decided to have this one printed and hung at that very spot once the wall was repaired. Or maybe she could leave the damage and hang the picture over it? That would tickle her to no end, but she doubted Terra would go for it.
"I mean, if you don't want to so badly then you could pay to have the wall fixed." Terra offered, causing Jaune to flinch. Apparently damage caused by hissy fits were not covered under their homeowners insurance.
"And don't think you're off the hook with just this, buster!" Ruby added.
Saphron snickered at that. Ruby had her arms crossed and cheeks puffed, trying to look intimidating. She still wasn't entirely clear on what had caused her brother to put a hole in her wall and subsequently landed him in the doghouse with Ruby. Judging by the sparkle in Ruby's eye, however, Saphron thought that it wouldn't last much longer. She looked like she was putting on a mean face more to keep herself from smiling than anything else.
Jaune looked suitably miserable for his picture. Shoulders slumped and eyes looking away from the damage he had done, he held the sign up as Saphron centered her shot, making sure the words were readable.
I threw a temper tantrum.
Saphron snapped the photo and nudged her two accomplices so they could admire her handiwork. Terra nodded in satisfaction, Ruby barely concealed a giggle.
"Please tell me that's good enough," Jaune whined, squirming uncomfortably. He always cowed to his sisters' demands but he could be such a poor sport about it.
"This'll do," Saphron allowed, "for now. Here, give me that sign. Ruby, you go stand next to him. I want pictures while I can get them."
Ruby skipped over to Jaune and took the sign from him, handing it back to Terra. It looked like Ruby already had a pose in mind. She stood at Jaune's side, underneath the damage he had caused. She raised both hands and pointed back at the wall, a look of exaggerated shock on her face. Saphron laughed as she readied her shot. Jaune covered his eyes with his hand in frustration as she took the photo. Ruby followed that up by covering her mouth with her hands, looking up at Jaune in mock horror. Saphron took another.
"Oh come ooooon, Jaune!" Ruby complained. When he didn't respond, Ruby dug a finger into his exposed side, causing the boy to yelp and jump away. She advanced on him, hands extended and fingers wiggling menacingly. "You have to smile for pictures!"
"Don't you dare, Ruby," Jaune whimpered, literally backed into a corner.
She sprung at him, hands a blur. He writhed and squealed with each successful poke and prod, begging her to stop. Jaune tried to meet her attacks with his own, causing the two to devolve into a mass of laughter and shouting, forgetting their audience.
Saphron had switched over to video when the tickle war begun and she watched happily, heart full to bursting. So wholesome! So pure! So damn ADORABLE! This was happening. She needed this to happen. She looked to Terra, beaming.
Her wife sighed and gave Saphron a tired smile. They had talked about this at length the night after they had cornered Jaune in the bathroom. Terra hadn't fought her on it but did urge Saphron not to push too hard lest the whole thing backfire.
Saphron stopped the recording and cleared her throat loudly, interrupting their battle. Jaune and Ruby froze simultaneously, finally turning their heads to realize they weren't alone. Their hands were on each other's waists, faces red from exertion. Saphron took the damning photo with the sweetest smile she could muster.
The teens practically leapt out of each other's arms. Jaune, having nowhere to go, slammed back into the wall, earning a sharp "Watch it!" from Terra. Ruby practically vanished and appeared several feet away, flower petals floating to the ground around her.
Saphron's smile turned predatory. "Okay, now let's-"
"Jaune," Terra cut in, "let's go get Adrian up from his nap. I don't want him to stay up all night."
"Greatidealet'sdothat," he babbled as he scrambled away to safety. Terra looked to her wife and mouthed too hard as she followed Jaune out of the room.
Saphron huffed impatiently. How was that too hard? They were being so ridiculously cute all on their own. She turned her attention to Ruby, who was busy distracting herself by fidgeting with the hem of her skirt, face as red as her namesake. This is too much fun, she thought, but maybe I should dial it back a little.
"Ruby?" she said, as she moved over to the couch. "I have some more photos that I didn't show the other day. Mostly family stuff. Wanna see?"
"S-sure!" Ruby squeaked, smoothing out her skirt as she went to join her.
—
"C'mon big guy, time to wake up."
Terra leaned down into the crib, rubbing circles on her son's back. The boy squirmed under her touch and let out a huge baby yawn that she loved so much. She tugged down the back of his diaper and found him clean and dry – bullet dodged for uncle Jaune, who hung back in the corner, embarrassment still plain on his face from being caught earlier.
"You lucked out," she told him, "no diaper change needed."
She saw Jaune sag in relief before lifting Adrian to her shoulder. The boy nuzzled into her neck immediately with a whine, not ready to wake yet. Terra turned for the door, calling back to Jaune. "Let's go. Leaving Ruby alone with your sister is just asking for trouble."
Jaune mumbled something under his breath as he followed her back to the living room, where they found Saphron and Ruby side by side on the couch. Ruby had a tablet in her lap while Saphron pointed things out on it excitedly. The girls shared a laugh and looked up as Terra approached.
"Someone's still sleepy huh?" Saphron said, standing and taking her son from Terra. "Let's get our baby bear some juice," she cooed as she turned to Jaune. "Grape's his favorite."
"Yeah yeah," Jaune groaned as he trudged off towards the kitchen. Ruby watched him go with a half-smile on her face, eyes lingering until he was out of sight. Was she checking him out? Terra glanced nervously at her wife. The look on Saphron's face made it clear she thought the same, but before she could strike Terra moved to cut her off.
"So! What are you showing her this time?" Terra asked, taking a seat next to Ruby to look at the tablet. It was a family picture, the entire Arc clan at a pond somewhere. A battle was being waged. Her father-in-law, waist deep in the water, grappled with the twins. The others were armed with water guns and other toys as they fought. A tiny Jaune watched from the sidelines, his mother carrying him on her hip.
Saphron joined them on the couch, taking the other spot next to Ruby. She glared briefly across at Terra for spoiling her fun but relented with a smile as she began bouncing Adrian gently on her knee to try to rouse him.
"He was a bit of a mama's boy," Saphron admitted before kissing her son on top of his head. "Just like somebody else."
"I think having two moms kinda guarantees he'll be a mama's boy," Ruby giggled. She lowered her voice conspiratorially and glanced towards the kitchen to make sure the coast was clear. "But Jaune totally still is one."
"Oh? Spill!" Saphron whispered excitedly, scooting in closer. Terra rolled her eyes at that. Saphron could revert back to gossipy schoolgirl mode at the drop of the hat, even with her son in her arms.
"Welllll, we met on the first day at Beacon. I was having a pretty rough go of it, but he told me something that really helped," she said, smiling to herself. "'Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet.' He said his mom taught him that. It was so dorky but it really helped, you know?"
What was Mama Arc teaching her children? Terra thought cynically. It's a miracle Jaune didn't get picked up by a windowless white van with "Free Candy" written on the side.
Terra caught the gleam in Saphron's eye. "And that's when you started to fa-" she started, before Jaune's voice cut in from the kitchen.
"Where are the cups?" Jaune shouted. "And I'm not seeing any grape juice in here."
"To the left of the pantry!" Saphron shouted back. "Juice is in the door! So," whipping her head back to Ruby, "when did you two first k-"
"None of these cups have lids, Saph! And I think you're out of grape juice!"
Saphron growled as she bit her knuckle in frustration. She looked to Terra, pleading with her eyes, but Terra just shook her head. With a huff Saphron passed her son to Ruby and rose from the couch, stomping towards the kitchen.
Flustered, Ruby held the boy at arm's length. Her eyes darted between the child and his mother, panic starting to set in.
"First time? Don't worry, he won't bite. Well, he will if you give him something to bite," she joked.
"I, uh, just don't, uh," Ruby stammered, "I don't know how to, uh, baby."
"Relax," Terra urged. "He's not a Grimm. He'll get comfortable himself and you just make sure he doesn't fall off the couch and crack his head open on the table."
Terra saw Ruby's eyes widened in fear and groaned. "I'm joking. Here." She took Adrian, turned him around, and sat him properly in Ruby's lap. "Not brain surgery."
Her son giggled in delight as he leaned back into his new chair, looking up and reaching for Ruby's face. Ruby stiffened and leaned away from the boy's grasp.
"Don't like kids?" Terra asked.
"It's not that," she admitted, "I just never really dealt with them before." Adrian began pulling at the top of her corset, causing Ruby to squeak. She quickly went to hold the clothing in place when he switched his grip to her hands, laughing and tugging.
"Sorry," she mumbled ashamedly, unable to meet Terra's gaze.
Terra poked her son in the stomach, eliciting a squeal and a much needed distraction from Ruby.
"Don't be. I didn't like kids either until this guy here. They're gross and noisy and grabby," Terra chuckled. "He still is. But there's more to it too, but you'll figure that out one day."
"Figure what out?" Saphron interjected, sippy cup in hand. "Awwww, is Adrian hanging out with auntie Ruby?"
Ruby sighed in relief when Saphron handed the cup to the boy and he immediately went to town, leaning back into her once again but with both hands occupied by his drink. Terra watched as Ruby looked to Jaune as they both smiled awkwardly at each other.
Guess I can lend a hand once in a while, she thought, rising to her feet.
"Switch me spots, Jaune." Turning to Saphron, she asked, "How about one more picture?"
Jaune groaned but still followed her direction, plopping down next to Ruby.
"Sorry about this," Jaune mumbled.
"…just a picture," she said quietly. "No big deal."
Terra stood behind Saphron as she readied her scroll. "Okay you two, scooch in a little. Pretend like you like each other!" Saphron teased.
The two teens made no move to scooch anywhere, leaving a fairly obvious gap between them.
"Terra?" Saphron asked sweetly. "Could you help them please?"
Terra moved around to the back of the couch, leaning and reaching around until a hand was on each of their shoulders. "The sooner she gets what she wants the sooner you can run away," she whispered as she pulled them closer to each other.
Jaune and Ruby relented and moved in so their shoulders were pressed together. Saphron gave her the OK sign and Terra moved back to her side. They looked awkward, stiff, and red in the face, but she figured Saphron actually liked it that way. Adrian was happily wiggling in Ruby's lap, swinging his now empty cup in front of him.
"Here we go. Oh Adriaaaan," Saphron cooed, "Look at mommy! Look here! That's my boy! Picture time!"
Adrian waved his arms frantically, laughing like mad. "Big smiles from the happy family!" Saphron cheered. Terra to winced at her obviousness. "One, two, thr-!"
Their son suddenly whipped both hands upwards excitedly. The sippy cup caught Jaune in the mouth and his tiny fist landed squarely on Ruby's nose.
Both teens jerked back, hands going to their faces. Adrian just kept on flailing and giggling, worked into a fervor by Saphron, oblivious to the blows he had landed. Saphron started to laugh, nearly doubling over with humor. Terra peaked over her shoulder to see how the picture came out.
Saphron's timing couldn't have been more perfect. Jaune's eyes were wide as the cup made contact with his jaw and Ruby had one eye clenched as the boy socked her in the nose. Adrian himself smiled radiantly.
Happy family indeed, Terra thought amusedly. I'll give it to Saph, though. They are cute.
Saphron's laughter slowly died down as Terra looked towards her unfortunate victims. Ruby had gone stock-still and ashen-faced. Jaune's face crinkled in disgust as he leaned away from the girl.
"What's the matter?" Terra asked, looking between the two.
"I-I-I-I think he just…" Ruby stuttered.
Saphron snorted. "He just drop a bomb on you?"
Jaune nodded rapidly, fingers pinching his nose.
"Well Jaune, you know the drill." Jaune groaned at his sister's suggestion. "You can take Ruby with you, show her how it's done."
"C'mon Ruby," Jaune grunted as he swung to his feet. Ruby rushed to follow, holding Adrian out as far as she could in front of her.
"Thanks!" Saphron called after them sweetly. "It'll be good practice for when you guys have one of your o-HEY!"
Terra delivered a swift swat to her wife's rear to silence her.
"Too hard?" Terra asked teasingly.
"Whatever." Saphron grumbled, rubbing the sore spot. "At least I'm not locking them in the closet together."