A/N- On with the show! Now, seeing as I've never had a child, my mother is greatly helping me with this fic. Every so often, I call her in and ask some pregnancy related question. I had to make sure she knew this was for a fan fiction. Thanks to all my reviewers, may I see you again this chapter!

Chapter 4- The Doctor's Appointment

"Okay," Batman said, his voice exhausted. "We've still got to pick a doctor!"

It had been three hours since they had first sat down to do so. Alfred--as the butler had insisted he be called--had already brought the lunch he had prepared and had taken away the empty plates. Joker and Harley had easily agreed upon Lamaze classes, times to shop for baby things, and the like. It had moved along very quickly. However, that all ended when Batman had suggested picking out a doctor next.

Like any good expecting mother, Harley was concerned about the qualifications of the doctors Batman had presented her with. With the Joker…this was less important.

"'Doctor Stevens'? What kind of a name is that? I bet this guy has no sense of humor whatsoever!" Joker protested, taking it upon himself to mark this name off the list.

"But, Puddin', he's delivered several babies! He's been doing this for years!" Harley protested. Even she was getting annoyed.

"So what? I want a doctor with a sense of humor! I don't want some deadbeat delivering my kid and influencing it from moment one," Joker said, leaning back.

Harley and Batman exchanged looks. Both were nearly huffing with annoyance. However, when Harley turned back to Joker, there was a sweet smile upon her face.

"Puddin', how about this one?" she asked, handing him the name of another doctor.

"'Doctor Clownson'? I don't know, Harl. I like it…but what do we know about him?" he asked.

"Her," Batman corrected.

"It's a woman?" Joker asked as Harley beamed.

Batman nodded.

The Clown Prince tossed the paper aside. "Nope. No way."

This was the final straw. Harley stood, retrieved the paper, and circled the name. Joker's jaw dropped.

"Harley! What do you think you're doing?" he said, his voice rising almost to a yell.

Harley, however, screamed her answer back at him. "I like her! She's qualified…she has a funny name, like you want. And I'M THE ONE WHO'S GOT TO HAVE THIS BABY…NOT YOU!"

Joker's eyes widened as he shrank back on the sofa. "Yes, ma'am."

Harley nodded and then turned to Batman. "Make my appointment! I'm going to go take a nap," she ordered, stomping out of the room.

Joker watched her as she left. Then, over his shoulder, he said, "I've never heard her talk like that to me…"

He turned to find Batman smiling. Joker growled.

"What's so funny?" he demanded.

"Looks like pregnancy hormones can be used for good things," the Dark Knight said, standing to do as Harley had instructed.

…………………

It was two weeks later, and Joker and Batman were waiting quietly for Harley to declare she was ready for them to join her inside the examination room. It was an awkward silence in the waiting room. The secretary keep eyeing the Clown Prince and Batman, as did the other expecting mothers and their husbands. Finally, and not too soon, Doctor Clownson appeared in the doorway and waved them in.

The doctor had not been what any of them had expected. They had imagined her to be a woman in her forties, her hair up in a tight, restricted bun, and maybe even wearing glasses. However, this was not the case. Clownson had shoulder length blonde hair, bright amber eyes, and appeared to be in her late twenties or early thirties. Harley had huffed when she had first seen her, but she had apparently changed her tune now.

When Joker and Batman entered the examination room, Harley had looked quiet relaxed, her knees up in the air. However, as soon as she caught sight of them, she squeaked, "Stand by my head!"

They moved quickly to comply while Doctor Clownson giggled. The doctor walked over, pulled a monitor closer to the group, and turned it on. Instantly, an image of Harley's uterus was visible. She pointed to a small, peanut shape and said, "This, Miss Quinn, is your baby."

Harley sniffled happy tears, while Joker looked like he was somewhere between disgust and…something else. Who knew, really?

"That's…it?" he said, turning to Clownson. "It's a peanut."

Harley immediately slapped him. "Don't call our baby that!"

Clownson laughed. "I assure you, Mr. Joker, the baby will grow to look like you might have expected it to look like now. Now, shall I give you two…uh, three a moment?"

Batman nodded. Once the doctor was out of the room, he turned to Harley, looking past the Joker.

"Congratulations," he said, giving a very small smile.

Joker huffed and crossed his arms. Harley beamed and said, "Thank you."

There was silence as Harley looked back to the monitor. Batman looked back as well. Joker bobbed for a moment back and forth from heel to toe. Then he sighed. Finally, he asked, "So, can we go now?"

Batman moved as if he was going to hit him, until Harley said, "Don't."

Joker smiled adoringly at her. Harley returned his smile as she said, "Let me."

In an instant, she had curled her hand into a fist and landed it squarely across his jaw.

"That'll teach you to get impatient with the baby!" Harley proclaimed as Joker landed on the floor, groaning.

End Notes: So, what did everyone think? Don't forget to vote. Polls (haha) will close on chapter 19. I'll go ahead and tell you that I have this fic planned to be 22 chapters long, chapter 22 being an epilogue. Please review!