A/N: Hey guys! I know I haven't updated in a REALLY long time, but come on, I'm here now! I've been so busy but I will be dedicated from now on. Leave me reviews please! They drive me to go on!
"It's everything, it's invigorating."
Voices.
L drifted in and out of consciousness, keeping his eyes closed. When he did come around, he was careful not to open his eyes. He could feel and hear them all around him. At one point, L had tried to move one single finger, but could not do so. L knew he was drugged. He could only make out some of what his captors were saying and didn't feel altogether in his mind. His eyes felt heavy and he wanted to sleep but didn't want to miss what was being said.
"Like what?" a quiet voice says.
"Oh I don't know Auralee, your questions are a bit personal, hm?" Beyond said. L noted that he sounded a bit irritated. "Yeah, I may ask personal questions Beyond, but you do weird things, which leads to the personal questions." her tone was joking. "Murder is not weird. It's human instinct," Beyond said. He continued, "We have derived from animals. Those who lived long before us were hunters. They killed what they needed so they could survive. A human's sense of flight or fight. Our bodies have been primed for either killing or escaping. I am not one to take flight, so I fight. With my body and my mind. Murder is not wrong. They only thing that has made it wrong is human weakness. Ethics and morals - a higher consciousness of the human mind has made it wrong," Beyond explained to the young girl.
L knew Beyond thought he was still asleep. He decided to keep it that way, wishing he could pretend forever. He continued listening to Beyond speak, feeling a bit dizzy and still very tired.
"What do you feel? When you kill?" Auralee whispered. "You can answer that yourself. How did it feel when you did it?" Beyond retaliated. "It's not the same," Auralee said, her voice sad. "No, I suppose it isn't. It feels…empowering. Watching someone stop breathing, witnessing the last breath they take. You can feel their arms and palms… releasing. I place my hands on their wrists, and I can feel it. You know when are gone. It's as if all their life is rushing out of them. Their veins, once pumping blood, fighting to stay alive, they quit. You can feel the slack and the calmness. You can read it in their face too. The sudden ease and eyes staring at nothing in particular. As you step back to clean up, you realize this was you. You held this insignificant life in your hands and you destroyed it," Beyond sounded intense and heated. As if a sudden urge had taken over his mind and he was to slaughter the first thing he set eyes on. He said, "it's a game and I always win." L''s heart was racing, he was afraid. Auralee spoke, "Beyond, that can't be healthy. It makes me wonder why you haven't killed me yet." Beyond chucked, "When you bore me with things like this I myself wonder why I haven't offed you yet either," his tone was kidding, but L wasn't so sure.
The two continued to talk but L could no longer make out any of what they were saying. Just a few of Beyond's words kept replaying in his head. It's a game and I always win. L started to fall back into sleep, those same words ringing in his head. It was a game, and L knew Beyond would win.
It's a game and I always win…
When L was once again conscious, he opened his eyes, consequences be damned. It was bright in his room, light entering from a window nearby. L could hear absolutely nothing. He was scared. So scared in fact, he did not want to move or even take a deep breath. Time passed and still L heard nothing. Finally, he sat up in what he felt was a bed. A quick observation concluded that his ankles and wrists were bound. What did surprise him was what they used to keep him tied to the bed. Leather. There were also bars on the side of the bed. His eyes widened as he realized this was a hospital bed. Was he hurt? Had he been brought here by Beyond? Had someone found him and rescued him from the serial killer? No, L knew that was not possible. He could only imagine how hard Beyond had plotted and planned to make this work. Rescue would not be simple. Beyond was a genius, just as L was.
L looked around the room. It was a hospital room. He saw a curtain had been pulled over his area and that none of the machines were on. The walls were painted a dull yellow but plaster had been pulled out and it looked as though the walls had seen better days. In fact, it looks like the entire room was out of shape. Panels were missing from the ceiling, tiles were cracked and torn out from the floor, and the room had a musty smell to it, as if it had not been used in a long time.
Footsteps, quiet ones. L lay back down in the bed and squeezed his eyes shut tight, his heart racing. Someone entered his room and stopped beside his bed. L's face looked pained, a hint that the detective was awake.
"Hey sleepyhead, I know you're awake," said Beyond in a voice that was all too sweet, yet terribly bitter, all at the same time. "You're not scared, are you Lawliet?" Still, L did not open his eyes. "Oh come on now. I'm being nice, am I not? Would you rather I be cruel?" his voice was fake. It was as if he had to really work to sound like this, as if speaking this way was killing him. At that point, L made a choice. Something clicked in his mind as he realized how he must look from Beyond's dark eyes. He look scared, like a coward. Although L had good reason, he knew he was stronger than that. Beyond was a dangerous man, and L was just making himself more and more vulnerable.
With a new frame of mind, L opened his eyes, staring right into the face of Beyond. "Why hello there," Beyond snarled. "I swear Beyond. They'll find you! You fucking crazy bastard!" L was yelling, red in the face. Beyond stared at L for a moment, then laughed. It boomed, seeming to bounce off the walls. "KYAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Find me? No, I don't think so. Find you? Definitely not." Beyond looked smug. He leaned in to close to L, his mouth at the detective's ear. "I could never let you go, not now. You're here to stay, you're all mine," B whispered. L shivered, his instincts screaming to push the man off. He could not, he was still bound.
Beyond could see how uncomfortable L was. "Get away from me," L growled, he was shaking. "I could never stay away from you, L. Even if I tried. Obsession is defined by the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, or desire. You have, Lawliet, dominated all my thoughts, my feelings. It sure is persistent. The idea, of having you where I am, obsession. The image of you, in my head, obsession. Desire. I do, in a way, desire you and only you L. Obsession that you triggered long ago with your games and false affection," Beyond's face was intense, set into an expression that made L remember. He remembered the way Beyond would look at him, back when they were…together, in a way. L didn't know what to say because he was shocked that he was feeling something other than hate for Beyond. It was a cross between pity and guilt. Had L really been the cause of Beyond's ways? His monster-like personality? L looked away.
"That's all okay now, Lawli-pop. You're mine," he giggled and grabbed a hold of both sides of the detectives face. "You'll regret it. You'll pay for what you did to me. As well as obsession, my mind and heart harbours vengeance. Fierce vengeance," he snarled. His sharp nails dug into L's pale skin. B reached into his back pocket and extracted a pair of scissors. L's eyes widened. B proceeded to cut L's dirty white shirt in half and pull the remains off his body. "I hope you're not cold," Beyond snickered, no sincerity in his voice. Beyond dropped the scissors and exhaled sharply. L saw it coming. "Don't…don't touch me," he said, trying to sound fierce. "Why not L? I've touched you before," Beyond was smiling, he looked excited.
Quickly, and with grace, Beyond climbed atop of L and straddled his waist. L's face went red. "Get off me!" Beyond merely laughed. The killer leaned over and placed his face in the crook of L's neck. "Lawli you smell the same," he said. Leaning upwards again, he placed his hands on L's pale chest. "You are cold L," his hands ran over the detective's chest, soft caresses down his stomach and sides. He inhaled sharply and close his eyes, his hands still resting on L's chest. "You can't even begin to understand how long I've waited for this. For this exact moment. Where you are completely defenceless and exactly where I need you to be. I admit, I had my doubts. You are a hard person to get to. Some would call this fate, it was meant to happen," Beyond opened his yes. L grit his teeth, his eyes dark. "This is not fate, this is the outcome of a sick mind and careless mistakes." L's voice was flat. Beyond tilted his head to the side, his eyes wide. "A sick mind? My mind is not sick, it's simply…different. I can think above all the others. I see things you cannot even begin to imagine Lawli," his eyes were focused and heated. Beyond resumed his exploration of L's upper body. "I bet you're wondering what I'm going to do to you L," B said. L was silent.
B pouted, wanting reaction. "Don't go anywhere Lawli-pop!" B slid off of L and left the room. He returned only a minute later. L saw it, held delicately in B's hand. It gleamed, even with the light being dim. It was menacing. You look scared L," Beyond smiled. Lawliet could feel his body trembling, but wasn't sure if B could see. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to still himself. When his eyes had once again opened, they were calm. L knew it was an act, his noble silence, but was unsure if B did.
The killer climbed back onto L. He could hardly contain himself. B was practically bouncing. His eyes gleamed and his smile was huge. L's face remained still, gazing at nothing in particular. "Hey L, why don't I cut an inch for every time I lost my self control?" he leaned in close to L. Lawliet wasn't even sure exactly what this meant but knew B would make it painful. Slowly, he placed the side of the knife along L's pale throat. "Right here?" B's happiness and joy had turned quickly into intense concentration. His face was emotionless. "Or…" the knife moved down his chest, caressing L's body. L's breath was shallow. He began thinking of "mind over matter". It was the concept that one's mind was stronger than one's body. It was the theory, which had apparently been proven, that someone could put their hand in hot water and feel no pain, or walk on hot coals and not be burnt. As the knife continued to slowly trail over his body, L said to himself in his head, "this will not hurt" over and over again. But God knows that when Beyond did finally glide the blade of the knife from the bottom of L's neck to his bellybutton, his mind was no more stronger than the nerves of his body.