A/N: I know I was supposed to be here earlier! I'm sorry. But it's midday and I haven't got any sleep so here it is! The story really gets more ridiculous and stupid as I keep writing, sorry. I tried.

Warning: The usual as before!

Chapter 4: Not so clear

August 4rd, 2012– Los Angeles, California– 12.00am

It was a God's miracle that Jaime had a clear moment while they were heading to the Bachelorette party in Julia's suite. A clear moment was a definition they created themselves. It was quite ironic that Lauren asked what that meant when Jaime clarified she was having one; but Lauren always used to ask things more than once, so she didn't mind.

"It's a moment of sanity, you know." Jaime explained. They took the stairs because the rest of the girls took the elevator, and they'd have to wait too long. They didn't realize it'd be so much more of a difficult task with their high heels. "Counting the amount of drinks we had at the dinner and that stupid pot you guys made me had, we shouldn't be thinking clearly until like one hour and a half or something. But I am totally sane right now. I could fucking shot an apple in your head right now, I'm totally centered."

The problem with having a clear moment was that you realized how stupid and ridiculous half-wasted people looked. They were at the door of the room, hearing the loud chatting and laughs that informing the rest of the girls was already inside. Jaime, for example, in that moment noticed that Meredith thought she was dealing with her high heels pretty well, but in the real word the needles of her shoes were trembling and she seemed half zombie half baby giraffe learning to walk. Lauren could go unnoticed having in mind that the effect was chilling her instead of making her crazier, as long as she didn't talk to anyone and as long as she didn't get up from a seat.

"You two have to promise to try to remain the quietest, calmest you can. And most important, very away from Julia." Jaime warned seriously, looking at her two friends in the eyes. If Julia realized the state they were in, she'd come with the conclusion that they were trying to ruin her night, and as Jaime was in charge of it that would be obviously her fault.

Lauren and Meredith nodded instantly, but that worried her even more for some reason. But she just sighed, hoping those boring cousins of Julia would make the party end in half an hour to assure the bride would be well rested.

"How is the most beautiful bride of the world feeling tonight?" Jaime asked sweetly and loudly once she opened the door, with a big smile on her face. She stepped onto the couch Julia was sitting down with her cousins with her open arms until she reached her and gave her a big hug. Then she dragged a chair to sit close to her friend. Luckily, Lauren and Meredith sat down away from them. Denise, Arielle, Devin, Elona, Britney, and a bunch more of the girls were there. Apparently, they were previously talking about Devin's strict diet and fitness exercises to lose that impressive amount of weight. A part of Jaime's head thought she should take note of every word, and the other part was thinking if it was inappropriate to wish she'd get pregnant in the next few months. She decided to fake a smile and mentally put her in mute for the rest of the conversation. Meanwhile she served enough water in her glass to make sure the clear moment would last until she was completely sober or, at least, long enough to be safe during the party.

The wine glasses flew from hand to hand, everyone behaved so far but things were going way too calmed. When the chatting started to get quieter, Jaime checked the time on her phone. Then she quickly typed a text to the stripper that was supposed to be there fifteen minutes ago. She had no idea who that was, but it was the only one she could find on the newspaper and that could get a date for that very same night and asked a reasonable amount of money. She guessed all strippers were pretty much the same, fit as the steroids could produce them, with too many hair gel and gays as the fourth of July.

So she just smirked to herself when the gang heard a knock on the door, suddenly going silent.

"I wonder who could be." Julia said, confused, standing up, but half in the way she turned to Jaime, letting her jaw dropped in surprise. "Didn't you do what I think you did, right?"

"Maybe." Jaime replied, shrugging but with a guilty smirk that gave her away.

"Oh my God, Jaims!" Julia said, laughing and punching her friendly on the arm. Then she added quieter. "I'm glad you understood my signs."

Julia finally walked to the door, already blushing and holding giggles. The girls were at the expectative to witness the future scene; but when Julia opened the door she found a tiny chubby man wearing a police uniform. So the stripper was still on his way.

The poor girl, in shock, turned around and mouthed:

"Shit, it's a real cop."

Jaime stood up and walked to the door too. It was a real fucking police? Why'd he go to their room? Everyone in the room were frowning and looking at each other, kind of scared, except for Lauren that was playing Candy Crush on her phone while Meredith yelled various instructions in order to win the game.

"Which one of you is Julia Albain?" The police man asked.

He looked around 35-40 years old, he had a certainly unattractive beard that matched his dark brown hair, and an incipient tummy falling above an old wasted belt around his waist. He looked like Zach Galifianakis. But not even a shaved, just showered, polite Zach Galifianakis. He looked like Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover (The first one, obviously). In that scene when they just woke up and Zach Galifianakis was walking around without pants. That's exactly how he looked like.

Lucky that Julia answered then, because the similarity started to freak out Jaime and she thought her clear moment was about to slip from her hands.

"I am, excuse me, what's the problem?"

Her mind focused instantly after that. Police. Bachelorette. Pot. Wait, what? They did were smoking in the bathroom, but how could they find out? And why did they make such a big deal about it? It didn't make sense. Jaime finally took place in the talk.

"Officer, really, this is just a harmless party, my friend is getting married tomorrow, there's nothing-"

"I was talking to Miss Albain." The police man interrupted with an intimidating tone of voice.

Jaime's head made a tilt. "I don't understand…" Julia stuttered. She looked for a sign on her friend's face but she was more lost than her. The men walked three steps inside of the room.

"You might want to follow me, Miss Albain. My name's Officer Whacker."

Jaime's eyebrow lifted up. She suddenly wished she wasn't in a clear moment and she wasn't actually understanding what was happening. But it was pretty obvious she did.

"No." She said out loud. No, no, no. He wasn't going to say what she thought he was going to say. No.

The stunted "officer" smirked confidently at Julia as he quickly walked outside, and appeared again with a stereo in hand.

"Officer Taly Whacker."

"Fuck." Jaime cursed, as he turned on the stereo and Florida's Get Low started to sound at a volume not loud enough to cover her voice.

So that was their stripper. A middle-aged chubby hairy man that looked kind (a lot) like Zach Galifianakis, playing a rap song from 2008 in a stereo that couldn't be a lot newer; as he danced ridiculously in an attempt to seduce a bunch of twentys in the middle of the room.

"Jaime?" Julia asked, sort of scared and freaked out.

The girl mouthed a pair of unsaid words before choosing the correct ones.

"Well, isn't he cheering up the party?" She made her biggest effort to smile, pointing at the indeed, cheerful stripper that was unbuttoning the buttons of his blue shirt.

He actually wasn't. She hoped someone would find it at least hilarious, but apparently everyone was sober enough to realize how pathetic that situation was. They weren't even gossiping lowly; the shock was so intense that everyone was speechless.

Jaime took Julia's hand and dragged her to the couch again, to her seat, and this time she sat next to her. The stripper took off his police hat and put it in Julia's head. Nobody could tell if she tried to smile, but the result was a creepy wince. Jaime handed her a glass of wine to make everything pass lighter and faster. They'd laugh about it a few hours later, they'd laugh. She had to hold onto that hope.

There wasn't a single face in the room that didn't look half grossed out half crept out. Well, there was one.

"Oh-my-god!" Lauren's voice sounded louder than how three of those stereos could sound. The girl ran from her gaunt spot to the couch (Why was she standing up? She couldn't stand up. Not now.), pushing Julia's cousin to sit next to Jaime. "Jaime, we thought he was the police, but look! He's a stripper!" She informed, completely surprised and excited.

"I can tell." Jaime replied. Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could dig a hole in that exact place of the sofa and it'd suck her all the way to China. She would do so much better in China.

"Julia, you have to give him money. Does somebody have like ten dollars bills or something?" Lauren asked to the group.

Half of the stares stabbed Lauren, but she was too busy cheering the stripper to realize. The man was so glad to have a fanatic that he didn't even seem to notice how uncomfortable the rest felt. He just kept dancing as a white girl and taking off his clothes and showing his nothairynotfattynotcompletelygross body.

"Well, if we are already here and this is happening…" Arielle said, defeated, grabbing three bills from her purse and handing them to Julia. "But you are gonna do it."

She shook her head, rejecting the money. "I'm fine, thanks."

"Julia!" Meredith shouted from her remote chair. "You're going to force one of us to steal your night otherwise!"

"I think that already happened." Julia whispered. The stripper was now struggling to take his pants off without taking off his shoes.

"I'm sorry about that." Jaime said really lowly, so only the bride would hear. "Devin should have shut the fuck up after thirty seconds."

Julia snorted. The stripper was finally in underwear, not for the pleasure of the girl gang of course. "I meant you."

Jaime had to shake her head to be sure she heard those words well.

"Excuse me?"

Julia pretended to be admiring the tremendous body of the stripper, but the words came out condescendingly.

"Your intentions tonight had been pretty obvious."

"What are you talking about?"

As everyone else observed how Lauren and Meredith were slipping the dollars under the stripper's speedo, nobody was hearing their conversation. Julia took off the police hat from her head.

"Well, you went to the dinner alone knowing everyone would talk about that. Then you made Meredith played the garter game with Brian when you know that can only end up in a disaster. Then you show up late to my party, and…" She looked to that hairy man wiggling in front of her face, looking about to throw up. It seemed like if she had been holding those words for a long time, trying to convert them into something good, but that encounter pulled the trigger for just a painful bullet, or a kick in the groin, or its female equal bikini waxing. "Now this? Seriously?"

But Jaime didn't get sad for her words. She got really, really angry instead. Even if that was on purpose, what was her right to reclaim things in the position she was? She was helping her to do her wedding with her ex-fucking-boyfriend. And she was the one stating the codes? No way.

"Why'd I want to ruin your precious night? To shit all over the hard work I spent doing myself?"

Lucky that Lauren asked to the stripper to teach her his dance moves, because if that wasn't happening, that chat would be something everyone would be recording with their phones.

Julia had an enormous vein pulsing in her forehead that seemed about to become alive by itself. "Maybe because you're jealous of me 'cause you thought once you'd be the one to marry Joe." She finally spat. It was good to know what was the game she was playing, Jaime though.

Besides, that was just a slightly tiny little bit true. "I don't want your stupid boyfriend. I've had it. Precocious, boring and obsessed with cars. Don't want it." She snapped with sassiness, but Julia's comeback was a knife stabbed on her back.

"But you had it."

There was a moment of silence between the two girls.

"Yeah, whatever. I could have it whenever I want, I just don't want it. Have fun with it."

She knew one second after she said that that was crossing the line. More than just crossing the line. Fucking the line. Getting the line drunk in a college party and taking it upstairs. Without even cuddling the line after.

"Fuck you, Jaime!" Julia shouted, standing up and walking to the dorm, passing by the stripper and Lauren doing what he called his own mark step, the Taly Whacker, which consisted basically in pretending you were rubbing a towel through different parts of your body. They remained still while they were cleaning their armpits with their imaginary towels and Julia's voice directed everyone's attention to her and Jaime.

Jaime knew she should stood up, walk to the door and knock until Julia left her in. She knew she should've, but those words were still painful so she just remained there, sitting down, drinking from her glass of water, as everyone's eyes shot her, including the stripper's.

"Julia!" Finally, one of her cousins made what Jaime couldn't and started to beg her to open the door.

"I want everyone to leave." She responded, dramatically. "I want to be alone."

"You heard the fucking lady." Jaime whispered ironically, standing up and walking towards the door.

The rest didn't make Julia ask twice. In fact, it was almost as if the bachelorette and/or the fight had never happened. Arielle, Denise, Devin and Lily were all talking about going to a club that was pretty known in LA. Britney was calling her boyfriend, and everyone soon matched up with someone else to do something. The only people that were still in the room were Lauren, who was posing next to the stripper, and Meredith who was taking a picture of them.

"He's not Zach Galifianakis." Jaime yelled from the hall.

"He's not?" Meredith said, disappointed. Then she walked to the hall too, dragging Lauren by her arm.

"Who is Zach Galafinis?" Lauren asked, confused. The stripper, disappointed by the interruption of his performance, got dressed again.

"The douche stepdad from Youth in Revolt." Meredith explained.

"Oh, I love that movie. We could go to the cinema tonight."

Jaime rested her back on the wall of the hall, breathing deeply and ignoring them.

"No, we need to get something more. My brain is gonna start to realize that what just happened was real and then we'll be in Jersey Shore or something." "Meredith." Jaime warned, with her eyes closed.

"Just something that'll make us stand this night, okay?"

Their chat got interrupted when the stripper walked out of the suite, wearing his police uniform again, obviously kicked out by Julia's cousins who just closed the principal door too.

"You won't expect me to pay you, do you?" Jaime growled.

"I did my job!" He defended himself. "It's not my fault your friend can't appreciate a real man's beauty."

"Obviously." Jaime responded. She looked in her purse. "Look, 50$ it's all I have, take it or leave it." The guy squinted, not very satisfied, but he finally grabbed the money. "You know, you should use that money to buy a chicken and start your egg business, man. Do something else. Not this."

"Or you could be Zach Galifianakis' extra in his movies." Meredith suggested.

Taly looked offended. He gave them a pretentious answer. "I love my job. I don't need to be miserable as you are."

Well, that was a fair amount of insults for that day.

"You don't know me."

"I know everything I need to know." He pointed at Meredith, "Whore," then at Lauren, "dumb as a chewing gum," and finally at Jaime "and frigid bitch."

Were they really getting degraded by a 40 year old stripper?

"I can't believe we took selfies with you." Meredith spat, disgusted. "You are so not cool. You're not cool at all. You're the uncoolest thing I've ever seen. Get out of here."

Taly made a soldier salute before walking away with his fifty dollars gained from that night. There was a moment of silence, Jaime had her eyes closed again.

"Are you okay?" Meredith asked. She didn't dare to ask about what happened between Julia and her, but she could guess what it was about. But she couldn't get an answer because the spot occupied by the stripper was quickly replaced with another pretentious tone of voice.

"What's up, ladies?"

It was, of course, Brian Holden.

"Not now, Brian." Meredith warned. That was enough for a while.

"Is everything okay?" He said, but he got no reply either. "I just wanted to inform you that the guys and I are going to this Club called The Cupid and that we could appreciate some girl company later."

That was a pretty sneaky invitation. "No, but thanks." Meredith said.

"What about…?" Brian tried looking at Lauren and Jaime, but Lauren was still sad for the loss of their stripper friend and Jaime was pretending she didn't exist.

"No, but thanks." Meredith said again, despite he wasn't talking to her.

"I'm sensing some bad vibes from you." Brian muttered sarcastically, walking two steps and stopping right in front of her. But she didn't let intimidate.

"They're probably my lesbian vibes."

"Probably." He repeated, without moving. He was so close to her she could feel his breath. And his stare was checking her from head to toes. But Meredith didn't back up. Instead, she placed her hands on his shoulders, slipping it slowly through his shirt, one going down his back and the other on his chest, until they reached his waist.

"Um, no, not enough of a girl for me." She finally chuckled, pretending to be disappointed. "Your boobs aren't that bad though."

Brian laughed, taking most of her flirty tone than from the actual mean intention. "You'll be at the club tonight." He said, as if he was giving her an order.

"Nope."

"You will."

"I prefer to die."

"See you there." He finished before walking away with slow steps, as if he just actually put on action a pickup line.

"Don't let him go!" Lauren cried. "He can sell us something, did you forget about that?"

Meredith looked at her with a smirk. "That's not necessary."

Then she raised her hand at the height of her face, showing off the keys she just stole from Brian's pocket on the back of his jeans.

12.50am

"If we get in jail for this, I call dibs on the top bunk." Jaime said, while Meredith opened the door of Brian's room.

"We're gonna take the most powerless, tiniest thing we find, I promise." Meredith calmed, as they entered inside.

"Why does he have a room for himself? I thought the best man shared rooms." Lauren commented, suspicious, as Meredith opened the drawers of the bedside table looking for something, and Jaime opened the window to get some fresh air and sat on the bed denying to cooperate. "What if he's a weirdo?"

"Then stay away from the closet, that's where you hide the bodies." Meredith warned. "There's nothing in here!"

"Maybe they're in his suitcase."

Meredith walked to the corner of the room, where the two suitcases he carried were placed. She sat down on the floor.

"Why does he have two? It's just two days."

"Weeeirdoooo." Lauren chanted.

Meredith opened the first suitcase and checked it upside down. Clothes, hairbrush, regular cigarettes, more clothes. Nothing they could be interested in. Then she opened the second one.

"Woah." She gasped.

"Is that…?" Lauren was just as shocked as her. None of them moved or said anything, which awoke Jaime's curiosity so she walked there to see what was the big deal.

"No way."

There was another moment of silence. Finally, Meredith talked again.

"He's either a smuggler of sugar, or this is kinda…"

"A lot?"

The suitcase was entirely full of packages of different sizes. That was definitely more of a big deal of what they thought they could handle. Just that image left them in shock for a while.

"We should go." Meredith said, starting to regret her idea.

"Yes." Jaime finally agreed with her. "Close the suitcase again."

She started to zip up the suitcase again, but as soon as she tried the zip got stuck. She bent over, close to the zip to make a bigger effort, cursing as it didn't move. After a few seconds she gave up.

"I can't." She said, but as soon as she tried to sit up straight on the floor again, her head hurt. It took her a moment to realize it was her hair. It got stuck with the zip and she had to remain bending over, literally next to the suitcase.

"Oh, no." Jaime said. "Don't move." She sat on the floor to and tried to untie the mess of hair.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch."

"Well, it's a fucking nest in here and I can't see." Jaime said. Lauren tried to lighten the place with her phone screen but it didn't work. Meredith started to freak out. "You need to move."

"What? Do you realize I can't do that, right?" She yelled, from her place practically lying on the floor.

"Well, I can't see anything here. Lauren, do you have scissors?"

"Why'd I have scissors?"

"I don't know!"

"You're not gonna cut my hair anyway."

"It's not a choice."

"It's a bunch of hair! It will look awful. You can't cut it."

"Lauren, look inside the other suitcase if there's scissors."

"Ha, ha. No."

Meredith tried to see if the hair would unravel itself if she pulled hard enough, but it seemed worse. Okay, now she did was freaking out. That hurt and she couldn't move.

"Found the scissors!"

"Lauren, leave the scissors."

"Give me the scissors, Lauren."

"If you cut my hair I will end up looking like Buttercup from the Powerpuff Girls and somebody's gonna die. I fucking swear to God."

It was really a lot of hair stuck. Meredith heard the sound of metal, and she freaked out in the next level. She grabbed the huge suitcase with her arms as her weird position allowed her, and started to drag it through the floor, away from Jaime's hands.

"Don't be such a baby! Come here!"

Jaime followed her, but Meredith continued getting away.

"Try to catch me now, Edward ScissorHands!" Meredith messed with her, she felt a little more of hope now.

"I'm going to cut your face as Edward ScissorHands did to that guy that he cut his face!" She rambled, stumbling with her words and following her through the room with the scissors in hand. "Lauren, help me!"

Lauren observed the situation. But instead of immobilizing Meredith, for some reason she thought it was a better idea to grab the suitcase and lifting it up to her shoulders height.

"LAUREN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" Meredith screamed, half in pain half in fear.

"I DON'T KNOW, JAIME WAS SCREAMING!" Lauren screamed as well, regretting her action seeing how much that hurt to Meredith, who had to stand up quickly to not get suddenly bald. But when she was about to drop the suitcase, she stopped her.

"DON'T FUCKING LET GO, YOU'RE GOING TO RIP OFF MY HEAD."

"Stop yelling you two, Meredith don't move." Jaime stood up with her scissors too.

"JAIME GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME."

Meredith ran to the other side of the room, near the door. Lauren followed her, having no choice, she was the one holding the suitcase in its place.

"What are you going to do? Walk around with a suitcase full of drugs hanging from your head?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I am going to do, and you can't stop me!"

"I really don't feel comfortable in this position." Lauren muttered.

"LAUREN, DON'T FUCKING MOVE. YOU MOVE, I GET BALD."

"COULD YOU STOP YELLING AT ME?" Lauren finally shouted back. Then she made a sudden step to the right, pulling of Meredith's hair.

"YOU LITTLE WHORE!" She could barely feel her scalp at that point.

"SAY IT AGAIN." Lauren made another step to the right.

"AGHHH."

Another step.

"WHEN I CAN FEEL MY HEAD AGAIN I SWEAR I'M GONNA KILL YOU AND OH MY GOD JAIME GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME."

The scissors were dangerously near so she ran to the other side of the room again. This time, Lauren resisted to follow her at first and Meredith could swear her head wasn't a part of her anymore. She stopped next to the window, in a corner. She was about to cry from how much her head hurt but she still didn't want to cut half of her hair off.

"I'M GONNA FUCKING DO THIS ANYWAY AND YOU KNOW IT." Jaime warned, terrifyingly close.

"DON'T YOU DARE."

She slowly approached her. She seemed Jack Nicholson in the last part of The Shining with scissors instead of a hammer. If someone walked in the room in that moment they'd have a lot of explanation to give.

"OH MY GOD, JAIME, GO AWAY."

"JAIME DO IT, I CAN'T FEEL MY ARMS!" Lauren cried.

"YOU ARE SURPRISINGLY STRONG, HOW CAN YOU EVEN HOLD THIS SHIT? JAIME, I'LL PUNCH YOU IF YOU GET CLOSER."

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT, IF YOU FUCKING BRUSHED YOUR HAIR THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!"

"MY BICEP IS GOING TO GET A CRAMP!"

"I FUCKING BRUSHED MY HAIR, SLUT!"

Jaime pointed at her accusingly with the scissors.

"YOU DIDN'T BECAUSE I STOLE YOUR HAIRBRUSH FROM YOUR STUFF BECAUSE I FORGOT MINE!"

"GIRLS, MY ARM!"

"YOU DIDN'T FORGET YOURS BECAUSE I STOLE IT, SURPRISE BITCH!"

In that second: three things happened at the same time. First, Jaime made a sudden movement with her hand to cut Meredith's hair off and let her free. But Meredith also moved to the side with all the strength she could gather. Last but not least, Lauren dropped the suitcase and cried as her bicep got a cramp. The combination of these three movements were pretty damn bad. The suitcase, now that Lauren wasn't grabbing it, slipped from her shoulder, and thanks to Meredith's super-extra-jumbo hairflip that finally let her free, and Jaime's arm punch, the suitcase slipped through the open window behind them, outside, falling.

Three seconds later, a splash.

The suitcase landed, yes. In the pool from the hotel's garden.

Every fly stopped buzzing in that moment, which lasted an eternity. The heart of the three girls stopped. Jaime covered her face with her hands, Meredith closed her eyes not knowing if she should be glad to have most of her hair or to jump through the window as well, and Lauren was in shock staring at the window as if she couldn't believe what happened.

How many money was worth inside that suitcase? How would they explain that to Brian? What would happen to Brian? What would happen to them? Were they going to get killed by an Asian drug dealer in the middle of the road? Maybe it wasn't Asian, it could be Mexican. If they had bad luck, it would be Russian. But they were probably going to get killed by someone.

There were many wonders but there was just one thing left to say. And Meredith was the first one to let it out.

"Fuck."

A/N: I'm sorry so many caps! how madness many crazy such vulgar wow. HOWEVER I hope you liked it and if it was like that (or not) I'll be waiting for a review to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading! xo