Chapter 4: "LUMBERRR!"

A/N: Big thanks to reader PizzaSteve for correcting me on Bogo's son. I'm afraid I didn't know my cattle too well and had him as a young steer. What I didn't realize is that steers are castrated bulls. Yikes! If he was a regular character, that might be funny and I'd have him with a high, squeaky voice, but he's not gonna be around. So I looked into cow/buffalo hybrids on Google and found the hilariously named "Beefalo". So that's what Robert Bogo is now.

Having Judy tell Duke's story let's these characters get involved more in the overall arc, but also it becomes another story with a story like the court case.

Summary: Francine comes back to the ZPD to relieve Clawhauser and Judy arrives with a pile of perps to tell them about a heroic deed done by Duke Weaselton. Meanwhile, Nick's 'Pred for Peace' is becoming more successful than he could have dreamed and gets a visit from the tiniest threat imaginable.

11:10am At the ZPD headquarters

Ben Clawhauser was delighted to see Francine Pennington coming by the desk to relieve him. He also saw a solemn Bogo rush by and go into his office.

Ben put out his paw to her. "Tag me out Penny!"

Francine slapped his paw. "Sure thing Clawhauser!"

"Now I just gotta call Judy back from early patrol so we can partner up. Gee, Bogo look depressed. Did he lose his case?"

"No, but he lost his son anyway, the boy wants nothing to do with him and he and Betty Bogo are moving out of state with her bull boyfriend. Turns out she's about 8 months pregnant."

"Aww! The poor chief! I'll get him a nice gift."

"So, has it been slow?"

"Hardly! I got so many calls from people witnessing attacks. A lot of people are normally silent when that kind of stuff happens, but I think Nick's 'Preds for Peace' is really having an affect!"

"Judy will be happy to hear that."

Clawhauser couldn't believe his eyes. "Speaking of...look!"

There she was. At less than two feet, Judy Hopps was carrying three large, unconcious predator perps, all cuffed over her head. She threw them down near the desk. "We need some cops to process these guys, STAT!"

Ben still couldn't believe it. "Oh, Em, Goodness Judy! Just how strong are you?!"

"I'm not sure. I've never had it measured, but I am the strongest bunny in the burrows. Have that dingo sent to medical. He had a ton of lumber fall on him."

"How did that happen?" Clawhauser asked.

"Believe it or not, it was due to your construction guy, Duke Weaselton. He was a real hero!"

"Say whaaa?!"

"It's true! It all started around 10:20am. Duke was getting supplies for your room add-on and..say author, do you mind if I take over for a bit?"

Oh! Ummm...okay. I guess I'll just take a break. I'll put your part in italics just so readers know it's you.

"Good! And maybe the readers can get a decent story for a change."

HEY!

Anyway, Duke was at the Home Depot getting lumber for the job. He was trying to bargain with the managerr.

"Look pal! I'm buyin' a whole ton 'a lumber here surely you can give me discount fer buyin' multiple amounts!"

The manager wasn't having any of it. "EVERYBODY who owns a business buys in multiples here! Besides, this place is company owned, not individual. So no haggling!"

Duke grumbled away defeated. "Lousy, no-good bum! Can't even give a poor, new father a break!"

As he went back to his crew, he was almost hit by a wooden plank that dropped off a shelf. "WOAH! Hey! Watchit up 'dere!"

It was Javier. One of Duke's workers. "Sorry boss, but these bits of lumber aren't stacked right and can fall over real easy. "

His son Paco was nearby. "Si Papi! Watch your step!"

"I ought ta get bonked anyway just 'ta sue this store." Duke thought.

It was then that he heard some commotion coming over from a few isles down. He could distinctly hear someone yelling "You think you're better than me?!"

Duke looked around the corner to find a dingo yelling at a small squirrel mother and her child. "Oy! You deaf 'er somethin' I said do ya think you're better than me ya skank!"

The squirrel was obviously frightened. "N-No sir! I-I was just leaving the store!"

The dingo grabbed her by her arm. "You aint goin' no where lady!"

Duke wasn't sure what to do. "I don't wanna get involved, but I gotta do somethin'!" He remembered what Nick had said during his 'Preds for Peace' speech the night before. "Distract, defend...something else, I forget. Oh! And call 'da cops !"

Duke did just that. He called 911 and got the operator to call the ZPD dispatch. That was you Clawhauser!

"Oh yeah! That wasn't too long ago. I called you and you were on your way,"

Right! But it would take me some time to get there. Duke knew this lady might have been killed if he didn't think of something and fast, but he had a moral dillema.

"'Dis aint any of my business." he said. "I don't need 'ta get involved."

The dingo then grabbed the squirrels child! "Leave him alone!" The mother screamed.

The dingo grinned with his crooked fangs. "You stinkin' prey always look down on me! Well we predators are gonna rise up against you! Maybe I'll just live up to my stereotype and 'eat your baybee'!"

This was about to get much worse. Duke had to make a descision and quickly. "This ain't none of my business!" He said. "I don't know 'dat lady or kid!"

It was then that a small, weasel angel appeared on Duke's shoulder. "You have to help her!" she said. "You'd never live with yourself if she got hurt!"

Clawhauser interrupted Judy for a moment. "Wait! Wait a minute Judy! Did he actually tell you he had an ANGEL on his shoulder?!""

I'm making it more simple to understand Clawhauser! Duke had an important moral choice to make. Let the squirrel get hurt, or get involved and possibly get killed himself. Now will you let me continue?

"Alright. Alright."

ANYWAY, a little weasel devil appeared on Duke's other shoulder. "The heck with those squirrels! You don't owe them anything?! Why risk your neck?"

The angel pleaded. "If you believe in Nick's cause, then you can't turn a blind eye! You're trying to show the world what a good weasel can do. Are you gonna stop now?"

Duke just rolled his eyes. "Alright already! Shaddap! I can't believe I'm doin' 'this!"

While the dingo was threatening the child, Duke ran over to the far side of the isle and prepared himself. "Okay, okay. 'Distract and defend hunh?' This is so stupid!" He shouted at the dingo. "Hey ugly!"

The dingo looked over. "Oy! You talkin' ta me mate?"

"Yeah stupid! Yer mudder wears combat boots!"

The dingo dropped the child and a look of rage came over his face. "Why yoooou! My mother has swollen feet and has to wear orthopedics! RAAAAH!"

The dingo chased after Duke. The weasel ran as fast as he could. This allowed the squirrel and her child to run away and hide.

Duke ran screaming. "I knew this was a dumb idea! I've never understood what that insult means anyways! Someboady help meee!" He then had a good idea. Instead of running back and fourth between isles, his small size allowed him to run through the shelves and in between the merchandise.

Duke was gaining confidence as he gained a lead. "Catch me if ya can, dingbat!"

This only enraged the dingo who managed to burst through one of the shelves and got closer to Duke. "I'LL KILL YOU!" The enraged dingo yelled.

"EEP!" Duke knew he couldn't keep up this chase forever. Not to mention he was having to dodge customers and onlookers as well. He saw Rico and Paco lifting down lumber from the higher shelves. "RICO! PACO! HELP ME!"

Paco saw his stepdad in danger. "Rico! We have to save my papi!"

Rico looked around. "Hey Javier! did you say these wood planks are falling over too easy?"

"Si! They are stacked bad! People could get hurt!"

Rico had a plan. "Javier, when I give the signal, shove all of them down."

"What?! Why?"

"Just do it when I tell you to!"

He shouted down to Duke. "HEY DUKE! RUN DOWN THIS ISLE! QUICK!"

"Ain't gotta tell me twice!" The weasel raced down the lumber isle with the dingo quickly in tow.

"NOW!" Rico shouted. Javier started shoving the planks and beams over and the lumber came tumbling down. Duke barely managed to dodge the beams. Paco reached down for Duke who leapt onto the third shelf. Paco and Rico caught him and pulled him up as the dingo down below was pelted with the planks. The planks pelted and piled onto him so much that we was knocked out and buried.

Duke panted and gasped for air as he looked around and saw the dingo knocked out uner the lumber. "GASP! Pant! Pant! HA! Gasp! He's out like a light! Guess he got too...'board'."

Paco and Rico just groaned.

"HOORAY!" Shouted the patrons in the store.

Duke hugged his son. "Thanks Paco and Rico! Ya saved my life!"

"Darn right you should thank me!" Rico replied. "What were you doing getting into a fight with that dingo!"

"I was just...Pant! Pant!...distracting him so he wouldn't kill 'dat poor lady and her kid!"

"That's none of your business!" Rico yelled.

Duke snapped back. "If I'm gonna show 'da world what a weasel can do, 'den I gotta do 'da right thing!"

It was then that I arrived on the scene. I had just taken out two more preds and the side car of the baddy buster was getting full. The manager reported to me about the two predators causing a ruccus. I then saw Duke and his crew standing over a pile of planks. I said "Alright Weaselton! What kind of trouble are you getting into now?!"

"Hey! Don't accuse me 'a nuthin'!" Duke replied. "'Dat dingo buried under all 'dat lumber just ried 'ta hurt a poor squirrel and her son and I stopped him! I'm 'da one 'dat called 911 'ta get yer se-...mangy butt ovah here!"

I was amazed. "Really?"

It was then that the squirrel mother and her child came up to me. "It's true officer! That weasel distracted the dingo and saved my life! He's a real hero!"

The mother squirrel ran up and gave Duke a big hug and a kiss. "Mmmmuah! My hero!"

The weasels ears turned red with blushing. "Ah shucks! It weren't nuthin'! Actually, it was a lot of trouble and I almost died but other than that, it weren't nuthin'!"

The dingo started to slowmy move and everyone got scared. I quickly hit him with a dart. "Relax folks! He won't be getting up any time soon!"

It was then that the manager came over and was enraged. "What's going on over here?! Look at this mess!" He then pointed to Weaselton. "You! This is your mess and your gonna pay for it!"

"Oh no he's not!" Said the squirrel in an angry voice. "This weasel is a hero! He risked his own neck to save my life from this mean dingo and what's more, your store security did not to stop it!"

"That's not true!" the manager replied. "They're on their way right now."

Sure enough, two sloth security guards were slowly making their way forward. "Stop...or...we'll..."

"...call...the..."

"...police."

Everyone booed the manager, but Duke spoke up. "Relax everyone! Relax! I was gonna buy all 'da lumber anyway."

"You were?" asked the manager.

A wicked grin came across Duke's face. "Yeah!...For half price."

"No way!" yelled the manager, which got a ton of boos thrown his way.

"Look pal! Do you expect me 'ta take all 'dis lumber at full price? Half of it's broken in parts and 'da rest of it fell on 'da ground and has a bit of dingo blood on it. Not only that, I'll report ya fer safety violation seein' as how easy it was 'ta knock those beams over and I got my cop friend Judy right here so's I can press charges."

"And you'll lose out on a lot of customers, including me!" shouted the squirrel.

The manager finally gave up. "Alright! Alright! It's half off! Just take the lumber and go!"

Duke was very happy. "Looks like it pays 'ta be a hero after all!"

And so, Duke saved the mother and son, got a big discount on his lumber and I arrived here with the dingo in tow! Which reminds me, I nabbed so many crooks that I've gotta fill up my darts again. You can take over again Mr. Author!

Thank you. As Judy finished her story, she saw Bogo clapping his hooves upstairs, just outside of his office. "That's a nice story officer Hopps, but one thing puzzles me."

"What's that chief?"

"WHY ARE YOU TWO STANDING AROUND TALKING AND NOT ON PATROL?!"

"EEP!" Judy and Ben shouted. Judy quickly got a new dart magazine and left with Clawhauser in haste.

An hour earlier at Nick's apartment...

Spots was relaxing on the couch, watching over her little siblings. Michael and Petey were on her lap, completely hooked on the "Star Boars" movie while Cotton was leaning on the coffee table and drawing.

The two were at the very end of "Episode IV: A New Dope". The credits started rolling.

"That was so AWESOME!" Michael yelled.

"I can't believe that movie's so...$# #! so old!" Petey replied. "The special effects are so good!"

"I wouldn't know." Michael said. "This is the first movie I ever seen. Spots, were those aliens real?"

Spots couldn't help but laugh. "No. Besides, this is the special edition so a lot of the special effects were up to date."

"The music was SOOO good! I want the soundtrack!"

"I didn't like the clothes." said Petey. "Except Dark Raider. He looked... #$%!! badass!"

"Well...you got two more in the original trilogy to watch." Spots replied. She then turned her attention to Cotton. What'cha doing there Christy?"

"I'm drawing princess Spaiya!"

Spots leaned over to see. "Let's see how you're...WHOA!"

Cotton felt ashamed. "It's not that good is it?"

"Are you kdding?! It's AMAZING!"

"Really?!"

"Cotton. I used to collect comic books and I've seen a LOT of artists who don't come close to this. You're gifted! We have to show your dad!"

"It's not THAT good."

"Yes it is! Mike! Pete! Come take a look at this!"

They were amazed. "WOOOAH!"

"When daddy opens my store, you can #$%!!...you can be artist for my designs!" Petey said.

"No way!" Michael replied. "She's gonna do the art on my t-shirts when I become a rock star!"

Spots interviened. "Relax you two! Cotton's got her own life to live. She'll decide what to do with her gift."

It was then that her father, Nick Wilde called on her smart phone. "Hey dad! What's up?"

"You're not gonna believe this. Look outside the window and down the street."

She did just that. Down below she saw a line a mile long going down the street and into Nick's restaurant. "WOAH!"

"Woah indeed! I need your help pronto! Bring the kids down and they can sit at a corner table while you help me hand out brochures and stickers. I'll probably need you to print more."

"I'll download the Star Boars movies to Petey's tablet and be down there soon."

"Oooh! What movie are they on?"

"They just finished Episode 4."

"Cool! Come down soon. I'll be waiting. I wanna see their faces when they find out that Dark Raider is Duke Futtbucker's father."

Nick hung up with phone and went back to attending to the line of predators coming in. He handed a lion a pamphlet to read and a sticker. "Alright! Here you go Mr. Roarberg."

The lion looked over the pamphlet. "Five D's? I thought it was three. That's what you were talking about on the T.V. last night."

"I changed it up after some thought. Listen up everyone! The five D's are.."

"DIAL. If you see an assault about to happen, dial 911 or call the police directly. This is the most important thing."

"DON'T! Don't be a hero and take action on your own. Call the police first. Don't get involved unless the person is at serious risk."

"DISTRACT. Get the perpetrator to focus his attention away from the victim. Distract him to the victim can get away."

"DENY. If the perpetrator goes after you instead, deny him access to you. Run and hide is you have to. You and the victim's safety is the most important and if those options don't work..."

"DEFEND. Defend yourself in any way you can. Fight dirty if you have to. The situation can turn into life and death."

"Sounds like you gave this some serious thought." said the lion.

"Yes sir. This is very important to me. Next!"

A trio of gerbils did their best to climb up to Nick's table. They were dressed in tuxes with tiny, white flower lapels. Nick stood up and looked over. "Heeey fellas. You need any help?"

"RRRGH! N-Nope! We got it!"

The gerbils got up to the top of the table. Louie, the head gerbil gave Nick a wicked grin. "Well, well, well. Looks like you got yerself a nice little business goin' here."

Nick explained to the gerbil. "Well, the business isn't going just yet. It's gonna be a bakery soon though."

"Gee. It'd be a shame if somethin' bad happen to it. I think you need protection or else something bad might happen. Something like...this!"

Louie grabbed Nick's full glass of water and was trying to tip it over as best he could. "HNNNGH!"

One of the other gerbils was trying to help him. "Lift with your legs Louie! Not your back, your legs!"

"Shaddap Guido!"

Nick just rested his paw on his chin. "This is adorable. Are you actually trying to extort me?"

"Just...HRRRGNN!...give me...RRRR! a second!"

"You can do it Louie!" Cheered Guido.

The other gerbil started chanting. "Louie! Louie! Louie!"

Nick joined in. "Louie! Louie! Louie!"

This only frustrated Louie more. "Don't cheer me on! I'm trying to wreck your place!"

Nick grabbed the top of the water glass and set it aside. "Look, this is cute and all but...I'M not the one needing protection right now. In case you didn't notice, you're surrounded by predators."

The gerbils looked around and several predators. They got so scared that they started backing up towards Nick for protection.

"You want me to throw them out?" asked the lion.

"Naaah. That's okay. They're no threat to anyone. What were you guys thinking?!"

Louie hanged his head in shame. "I dunno. We're desperate! It's hard to start up a mob in Little Rodentia now thanks to that cop, Brie. She ran us all out! We thought we'd take our chance out here!"

Nick smiled. "That's Brie for you! Have you thought of doing something else besides trying to extort people and run a mob?"

"Well...we do a mean barbershop quartet! Check this out. Bum-bum-bum ba-bum-bum-bum-bum. Bum-bum-bum ba-baa!"

They then all sang together. "Mr. Sandman! Bring me a dream! Make her the cutest that I've ever seen!"

"That's pretty good!" Nick replied. "But I don't need a barbershop quartet just yet. We might have a talent night though. Look, you wanna earn some cash?"

Louie rubbed his hands with glee. "Sure! Anything!"

"Great! You three stand over there and help me give out these brochures and stickers and I'll give you twenty bucks for the day. Okay?"

Louie was really happy. "Aww thanks pal! You're swell!" Then then read the brochure "Hmmmm 'Preds for Peace. Protect prey. Protect each other. Protect our way of life.' You serious? These folks are all here to learn how to protect prey?"

"Yes! I quit my job for this."

"'Wow! You're a saint! Den count 'da Gerbil Jabronies in! We're with you one hundred percent!"

Nick arched an eyebrow. " 'Gerbil Jabronies?' "

"I told ya it was a dumb name for our gang." Guido said.

Louie yanked Guido's ear. "Shaddap Guido!"