I didn't create these characters, Marvel did. So blame them.

Prologue- Diagnosed with cancer after he dropped out of High School, Wade Wilson went to a shady organization that gave him a power to heal from any injury and disease. They also gave him high-tech weapons and a teleportation belt. Now he's out on his own, living in a crappy low-rent apartment in New York as a mercenary for hire. He also knows he's a fictional character, he is…

Wade Wilson, DEADPOOL:

Living Through the 4th Wall

(Part 4 0f 6)

By w00tmaster93

"Stupid Deadpool, leaving a bomb in my house. I barely even know him." Weasel was mumbling to himself while he was working on some crap in his apartment.

Just then, I come in the apartment using the matter transporter to get myself there. I was just shot by a hobo and know I'm running out of time before the sun rises and I have to go to Hell.

"Weasel!" I yell at him. "I need you to treat my gun wound I was shot by a hobo! And I thought I said I wanted chapters to begin with a scene involving me! This is my story not Weasels! No one would read a Weasel story!"

"Shut up with your crazy ramblings!" Weasel replies. "You sent a bomb to my house! I had to throw it out the window!"

"Whatever! Just heal me you stupid nerd!" I yell. Weasel treats my wound. It takes 35 minutes, a huge waste of time. "Thanks Weasel!"

"Deadpool, you don't have to yell anymore." Weasel said.

"Hey, I have to get to Westchester to beat up the X-men. Can I borrow your car?" I ask him.

"Normally I'd say no way because you'd probably blow it up. But since you're beating up mutants, you can borrow it but only because I hate mutants." Weasel said.

"Do you hate humans too? I was going to take the car anyway, I stole your keys." Then I left Weasel and drove to Westchester. Then I infiltrated the X-mansion. I teleported in there, not sure what room I would end up in. I ended up in a dorm room.

"You like my wallpaper, bub?" Obviously I woke up whoever's room I just busted into…it had to be Wolverine.

"Oh hi Logan. I just came in here to kill you and your little group of mutant terrorists." I said.

Wolverine turned on his lights. "Well, if that's what you're going to do…I'm not goin' out without a fight."

"Hmm…I actually thought that you wear footy-pajamas to bed. I guess I was wrong. Anyway the correct word is 'going' not 'goin''. Microsoft Word says that 'goin'' isn't a word."

"Yeeargh!" Wolverine tried to slash at me but I dodged. Then he kneed me in the gut and punched me in the arm, the same arm I got shot at. That means it hurt extra bad.

"Not so tough without your healin' factor are ya Deadpool?" he asked.

"What do you think? Also…" I stabbed him with a sword and shoved a grenade in his mouth. "The correct words are 'you and 'healing' not 'ya' and healin'', stupid!" BOOM!!!

The grenade went off in Wolverine's mouth, blowing up the wall of his room and launching him on the backyard. "Ok, you've got to admit that that was cool, Wolverine." I said, watching the front of his body heal back after the explosion. I jumped down and we continued to fight. "Come on Wolverine, I don't have time to fight you all night, why don't you just die already?"

"I don't die." he replied. I noticed he was avoiding stabbing me with his claws.

"Why aren't you trying to gut me?" I asked while shooting him a couple times.

"Because you won't survive being gutted."

"Wow, you're a big man."

"If I tried to gut you, you'd be dead by now."

"I guess becoming an X-man has taken away all of your bloodlust. What if I want a challenge?"

"You think death is a challenge?"

"No, I just know I'm a betting fighter than you, but you're not bad."

"Let's see about that." Wolverine lunged at me, ready to stab me. Just then, I opened a portal back to Weasel's apartment that he fell into. Now Wolverine was Weasel's and Blind Al's problem, not mine.

"Where is he?" I heard a voice come from behind me.

I looked behind me, "Oh crap." It seems that the X-men were there. There was the boring leader guy named Cyclops. There was the crazy girl named Phoenix. There was the all-power no-personality member named Storm. There was the untouchable sexbomb named Rogue. The guy who really shouldn't be popular but is member named Gambit. And then there was no one's favorite member Iceman.

"Deadpool, what have you done with Wolverine?" Cyclops asked.

"That's weird, I would have though that more Claremont-created characters would come and attack me." I said.

"Don't change the subject, you crazy weirdo." Phoenix said.

"Whatever, I could take you all on in a fight. I've fought all of you before, I know your weaknesses." I said.

"Ok team, fight him working on instinct, do the unexpected!" Cyclops ordered them.

"What're you going to do, Cyclops?" I asked. "You only have one power!" I teleported in front of Cyclops and grabbed his visor and then hit Rogue with it.

"That was a cheap shot!" Rogue said. Cyclops was covering his eyes with his hands, knocked out of action.

"Go ahead and drain my powers Rogue, the only problem is that I have no flesh showing in my costume!" I said.

"Then how about I burn your ass!" Rogue said. She used some fire power to light my ass on fire.

"Where did you get fire powers?" I asked.

"I held on to another mutant too long." She said.

"Screw that." I replied with a kick in her face. I set out the fire on my butt and now I had a hole in my costume…great.

"Need to be cooled off, dude?" Iceman asked, threatening to freeze me.

"Iceman, all you do is make jokes about your dumb ice powers! No wonder no one likes you!" I threw a grenade at him. His ice armor absorbed most of the blast but he still got knocked out.

Before he fell over he said, "That wasn't cool, dude." Then he became unconscious.

"Just in case you didn't know mon ami, my name is Gambit and here's my card." Gambit threw a charged up playing card at me which I easily dodged.

"All you X-losers do is make up crappy one-liners. No wonder society hates mutants." I ran towards Gambit. "And as for you Remy, don't you have a fan fiction to be in where you discover love with Rogue? You know the one's everyone writes." I punched him in the face. "That's for you having more stories than me!"

"Crap! That hurt!" Gambit said.

"Spoken like a true Cajun." I replied.

"That's it, this ends know!" Phoenix flew down towards me.

"Finally." I pointed a gun at her.

"Are you really going to shoot me?" she asked.

"I don't know. If you die I know you're going to come back to life somehow." I said.

I shot her…she stopped the bullet with her mind and dropped it to the ground. "Deadpool, you aren't going to win this fight."

"Somehow, I knew that." I peed my pants.

To Be Continued.