A/N: I am back and I am going to try to work on this rewrite of one of my favorite Angelic fanfictions Where You Least Expect It written by mattiewilda. It will have a similar plot but very different characterizations and actions and characters because it is set in the Glee universe. Mercedes is 31 and Sam is 30. I didn't watch the Glee series finale, so assume everything is canon up until that episode. In this chapter I borrow songs that are not mine. Shout outs to websites, products, and songs mentioned, I own nothing but the ability to type my thoughts and let the words run away from me. Remember I have no Beta so please forgive the wordiness, mistakes, and the hot mess of the entire situation. Trigger Warnings: family estrangement/mental illness, suicide, drug abuse, and religious themes.
Thanks for taking the time to read, follow, favorite, and review this work. I truly appreciate the love and support.
"Mercedes, I feel like it has been forever since we have seen each other," Quinn said as soon as the two were alone inside Sam's home and preparing the table for dinner.
"I know and I am sorry that I just lost touch with everyone. I just hit a low point with my own family, and I immersed myself with work going over to London for a year, coming back and filming a movie, and then working on my next album before promoting the movie, has really kept me distant from pretty much everyone."
"Mike and I have moved to California, so we will be closer to you. I am taking a break from acting, but he is starring in a couple of sequels, so we chose to finally buy a home that would be convenient for him to travel to and from various sets."
"I guess, you two are trying to keep your pregnancy a secret for now."
"How did you guess I was pregnant. I really am not showing am I?"
"No, you are not showing. You just told Sam you had to have bacon, and I saw you steal a piece off of my cauliflower wrapped bacon as soon as I took it out of the oven."
"You remember my craving bacon. Wow, Mercedes, that is amazing."
"Well, you did live with my family for four months of pregnancy and I did witness you giving birth which is pretty much a blessing because it made me keep my legs shut throughout high school. Watching Beth be born was a miracle, but I saw the pain and it scared me to maintain my virginity as much as my personal faith did."
"So the rumors of Sam finally getting some are false?" Quinn asked unable to not wait for Mercedes or Sam to volunteer the information.
"Quinn, you know I don't kiss and tell."
"But the way you are walking today, the way that Sam keeps eye sexing you, and the love-marks Sam has left all over your neck are clues that you and he are in some kind of relationship."
"We are back together this time; I really think it is forever. I did something stupid Quinn, but I don't regret us being together because I love him, and I know that he loves me."
"The only stupid thing you ever did was take relationship advice from Rachel Berry, Brittany Pierce, and Kurt Hummel."
"Quinn, what in the world are you talking about?"
"When you broke up with Sam in New York that should have never happened. You two had one of the healthiest relationships that I had ever seen. Sam is one of the few guys in Glee who would never cheat on his girlfriend. Even when he had the opportunity to use me for sex while you were dating Shane, he wasn't the least bit tempted. I teased him enough when he first got to McKinley to know that he had a lot of self-control and would have been willing to wait for marriage for you no matter what temptations were thrown his way. You got some bad advice because all of those people were jealous of you and your relationship with Sam. They were cheaters or had been cheated on and couldn't process fidelity and a relationship that was built on faith, trust, love, and honesty."
"But I cheated on Shane with Sam and …"
"Mercedes, Shane didn't love you and you didn't love Shane. He was a placeholder for Sam a rebound. He knew it, and you knew it. You should have ended the relationship with Shane first but you didn't want to hurt his feelings. You are allowed to be a human and make mistakes." Quinn interrupted Mercedes because she knew the guilt her friend felt after doing such a ratchet thing.
"I guess but you know how much pressure my parents put on me to be perfect, Quinn. I had to have perfect grades, I had to not get in trouble at school, and I was to follow in their footsteps and marry a man like Shane and have a bunch of cocoa babies."
"Mercedes, I am grateful that your parents opened up their home to me, but even I could see that your home life wasn't perfect. Was it better than mine? Hell yes, but your parents would not even support you in Glee because you were never given a solo in competition or was perceived as the star. How many football games did your parents go to support your brother, while he was in high school and college?"
"You know they went to every home game. My father thought football was going to open doors for Michael, which it did result in him getting a full ride scholarship. He thought singing was just a hobby, and that he could see me sing solo at church every Sunday so why should he come to competitions to hear me sing a glory note at the end of a performance."
"Surely, you know that was just an excuse. He didn't want you to become a singer. He wanted you to have the perfect education, the perfect career, and the perfect marriage. His ideas are not evil or wrong. He just didn't want you to be who you are and what you have been to millions of girls who have looked up to you. He is a lot like Mike's dad. It's not that they don't love you as their children, it's just that they want to control you and pressure you into being carbon copies of themselves."
"Well, it doesn't matter now Quinn. My dad has told me that I am pretty much dead to him after he saw my music video "Love Hurts So Much". He told me that I wasn't welcome back into his house until I give up my harlot lifestyle and stopped being a Jezebel."
"What did your mother say, I can't see Mama Jones agreeing to this treatment of her baby girl."
"She pleaded with him, and then he threw Bible verse after Bible verse in her face about how the wife should submit to the husband, and how the husband is the head of the household. And so she has pretended to be estranged from me, but sneaks and talks to me as much as she can when he is not around."
"Didn't Michael try to talk some sense into your parents?"
"He thinks everyone who is successful in Hollywood has sold their souls to the devil. That when I went on tour with Beyonce that I became a part of the Illuminati and that's why I only received my Grammys after I showed skin and recorded an album that showed how I have lost my Baptist beliefs and Christian faith."
"So, you are basically estranged from your entire family. When was the last time you actually saw your mom?"
"Two years ago, and then she calls me about a week ago and tells me that I am needed at home. That there was a family emergency and that she didn't feel comfortable talking about it with me on the phone. I was able to rearrange my work responsibilities and let everyone know that I was on family medical leave. I still don't know why I am here in Lima. My parents were in Columbus when the bomb cyclone hit and aren't expected to be home until Sunday. I have been texting my mom, and she said that she would like for me to attend church with the both of them on Sunday and then they will tell me what is going on."
"So, it sounds like your father is willing to reconcile."
"The only way I could see that happening Quinn is that my mother is dying. I don't want to think that, but I don't know what I would do if I lose her. She is my only blood relation that loves me unconditionally."
"Well, I know that we haven't been as close as we should have been because I wanted to forget the sad Quinn that needed you as a friend. But losing Noah has made me finally grow up and realize that nobody is promised a tomorrow. It is up to us to treasure all the time we have with our loved ones. You were once my soul sister when I was pregnant, and maybe I am like the prodigal sister who wants us to be sisters again. We have a lot more in common now than we have ever had before."
"Sam, hasn't told you that I am pregnant has he?" Mercedes asked after hearing Quinn say they had more things in common now.
"What!" Quinn exclaimed looking at Mercedes as is she had lost her mind. Causing Sam to stop eavesdropping and rushing inside ready to deny Mercedes' accusation.
"I thought Sam had convinced you that I was pregnant. We've only had sex a couple of times without protection and he is convinced that he has knocked me up."
"He didn't tell me that. Oh, shit. I am going to have to pay Brittany and Mike a $1,000.00."
"What in the hell are you talking about Quinn?" Sam asked before Mercedes could open her mouth.
"Well, we started a group chat on Google with Kurt, Blaine, Brittany, Santana, Tina, and Artie. And Mike and Brittany were the only two who thought that upi would even be capable of getting inside Mercedes Jones' drawers without a wedding band. I was even bold enough to bet the two a thousand dollars that it was just Lord Tubbington having gas and it wasn't a true prediction at all about you, Sam, getting some."
"Please tell me I am dreaming Lord," Mercedes said as joined her hands as if she was going to pray.
The threesome spent the rest of the evening rehashing things, catching up, and enjoying the meal. Mercedes and Quinn spent the night together in the guest room much to Sam's chagrin rehashing their old friendship and doing the things they did when Quinn lived with her during her first pregnancy. When Sam checked in on them before heading to bed, he was surprised to see the two of them asleep cuddled up in the center of the bed with Mercedes hand on Quinn's belly. He couldn't stop himself from taking a picture on his phone and texting Mike to come and get his woman because she had already stolen Mercedes from him.
"Sam, Quinn is not trying to steal Cedes from you, so stop texting and calling me," Mike said after the fifth time Sam had called him that day.
"Every since she has been here Mike, I haven't had any time alone with Mercedes. It's like they have taken over my man cave and are having an all-day slumber party. The only time I see them is when they go to the kitchen to cook something with bacon."
"Oh, well I am sure when you saw Mercedes' hand on Quinn's stomach that you know about the baby."
"Yeah, congratulations and all of that, but do you think you can come today instead of tomorrow to pick up your wife?"
"Easier said than done my brother. If I come today, Quinn would ignore me still and keep on bonding with Mercedes. I have called my fiancee you know, and she has told me to leave her alone. That she and Mercedes are having to catch up on three years in one weekend. So, I can't help you out there besides I am working unlike you. I have some promos for my next movie that I have to finish today, so I will talk to you later."
Sam exchanged goodbyes with Mike and went again to check on Mercedes and Quinn and was surprised that they had left the man cave and were now back in the bedroom. He didn't eavesdrop, but he really did want to know what they were talking about. He decided to leave the house and do what he normally did on Saturdays volunteer a couple of hours at the local homeless shelter giving little kids guitar lessons.
"Quinn, are you sure that your therapist had you say these kinds of things. Doesn't speaking these words bring life to them and resurrect painful memories?"
"I know you may not believe in all the psychobabble but after being treated for postpartum depression and regular depression with interpersonal therapy and antidepressants, I had to find the roots of all the times I felt rejected and when I started to reject people to protect myself. It really caused me to have the breakthrough I needed to forgive my dad not because he deserved it, but because I needed it to let go of the hurt of my past. You know I only sought aggressive treatment after Noah died, and I wanted to just die, too. I had masked my depression for years, but when I lost him, everything came flooding back like a hurricane. Not being a mother to Beth, everything I did wrong, and everything that everybody else had done wrong against me. I was suicidal."
"Oh, no, Quinnie." Mercedes looked at her friends with tears in her eyes.
Quinn continued knowing she had to tell Mercedes everything. "Well, after my sister Frannie was born, my mom almost died giving birth to her, but my dad pressured her into getting pregnant again because he wanted a boy. Russell Quinn Fabray the Third was going to be his future son's name. When I was born a girl my mother had further complications and had to have a hysterectomy. My dad was disappointed that he had another daughter instead of a son. But he still put on the front of being a loving husband and loving father."
Quinn paused taking a break before continuing, "I used food as a substitute for his apparent lack of love, and when I was bullied in school, his solution was to have me go to a Fat Farm and pay for all the plastic surgery that I needed, so I could look like mom and Frannie and basically become his real-life Barbie number three that he wouldn't have to worry about anymore. My sister Frannie was the ideal child, so it was hard for me to live up to her. However, when I became a cheerleader and became more like my dad critical, mean, and unfaithful, the more he began to give me the attention that I always longed for."
"It wasn't until he found out about my pregnancy, that the real Russell Fabray returned and his rejection of me broke me. It made me do all kinds of crazy shit and made me really hate guys in particular. The reason why I went along with Terri Schuester was to help my situation and to get back at Will Schuester for focusing so much on Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson that he couldn't see the rest of us needed attention, support, and place to shine."
"During this time I only had one true friend, and that was you, Mercedes. I never should have gone back home with my mom who used alcohol to numb all of her pain which kept her blind to the fact that I was suffering. The pink hair, the cigarettes, the fake tattoo, the Skanks were all signs pointing to a girl in crisis. I thought I had successfully destroyed all of my relationships with everyone by cheating on Sam with Finn, my obsession for being prom queen, and my staying silent when Will allowed you to leave the Glee club. I was hurt that you recruited Santana instead of me. I was like who was your soul sister, so I stayed with New Directions and did things to make you mad at me like trying to get back with Sam because of my problematic thinking of trying to get back Beth or replace her with another baby. It wasn't until you guys were robbed from winning that I initiated your returning to Glee because I knew that I needed you and the other girls back with me. Still, it wasn't until I had my car accident, that I realized how much I mattered to people. "
"Wow, I didn't know all of this Quinn."
"You would have thought I would have been better off at Yale, but no I let my daddy issues basically the lack of a father's love drive me into a relationship with my professor who was thirty years older than me. I then tried to be a lesbian because I was like I didn't need another man using me, but I just couldn't get into it unless I was drunk and high. It wasn't until I sunk so low and began dating a younger version of my father in Biff McIntosh that I finally realize what I was doing. It was Puck who opened my eyes, and we eventually got back together because I assumed he was the only one who actually cared for me to tell me the truth. His death broke me, Mercedes." Quinn has to stop and she and Mercedes both cry for a while before Quinn is able to gather herself and continue.
"It was only until Noah died that I actually went into treatment for my depression. Sam was there for me as a true friend, and I got on my meds and I was serious about my therapy because it was life or death for me."
"I am sorry Quinn that I wasn't there for you throughout all of this," Mercedes said wishing she could turn back time.
"I probably wouldn't have been receptive to you. It seemed as if your life was perfect, and I just would have compared you to me because I was still the old twisted Quinn seeing girls as competitors and not seeing them as true friends. It was easier for Sam to help me than my own sister. He was a man that truly cared for me and didn't want anything in return. Your last record had come out and it was to him a series of love letters that you had written to him, and he was convinced that he still had a chance to win your heart and have his happily ever after with you."
"I thought he was crazy, but he stopped dating other women, and he focused on becoming the man that he thought you would want. He took me to a treatment facility after watching me attempt to drive home drunk after we had a memorial service for Noah at McKinley.
"When I got healthy after months of therapy, he fixed me up on a welcome to your new life Quinn Fabray date with Mike Chang out of all people. Mike and I started off as just friends because I wasn't ready for a relationship. But, he is just a good person whose care and concern was all I needed at the time. At first, he became my escort to red carpet events and movie premieres. Then, we started talking on the phone while we were on our different sets. Falling in love with him was something that I never expected to happen, but one day I looked at him and I saw all the things in a man that I wanted were right there in him. He can be a chauvinist at times because you can't escape your family's modus operandi. But, my personality keeps that in check. He helps me be the best Quinn that I can be, and I bring out the best in him as well. We have our disagreements, but I am truly blessed that I have found love again with someone who is perfect for me."
"That is truly beautiful and inspirational. I am going to go to therapy. I realize now that I have been suffering from depression since my dad disowned me, and I didn't even realize it. I also have been battling the desire to take the Valium that I recently was prescribed to escape from everything that is happening. Listening to you, makes me realize that I need counseling, and I will try to use some of the things that you said worked for you."
"Well, this first exercise is only you confronting the people of your past who have rejected you or you have perceived rejection from and you tell them how their actions have made you feel."
Mercedes took a deep breath, "Daddy, I never felt as if you saw me as being good enough to succeed in my chosen career. I felt rejected when you never came to support me when I was in show choir or even a performer with the Cheerios. Your words always made me feel like I couldn't follow my dreams or be the woman that I wanted to be because it was foolish and would lead me to a life of ruin. And when you told me I was no longer your daughter, a part of me broke. I could deal with the neglect and the disappointment but what I felt from you was the opposite of a father's love. I felt as if you hated me and didn't even know who I was. It has been very tempting to lose my morals and do things that I shouldn't do to get ahead in show business."
"But, I always remembered to stay true to myself and never compromise my faith. But, you never acknowledged or supported me because I believe a part of you wanted me to fail, so that I would come running back home and become the person you wanted me to be. I am not and will never be the daughter that you want me to be. I see nothing wrong with me wanting to be tastefully sexy and sharing my talents with the world and if you can't accept me for me then that's on you."
"I am almost 32 years old. I am an adult and not a child. I am not going to change myself so that you can be happy. I am not going to live my life for you. I am following my dreams, living my life, and if you can't support me, then that's your problem. It's not mine. I am not the reason why you have rejected me. I did nothing wrong. And I refuse to continue to blame myself for causing our family to become estranged."
"It's your fault. You keep talking about the Bible, but you don't live out its principles. You are supposed to forgive, not judge others, love unconditionally, and treat others like you want to be treated. And you have shown me the opposite of these tenets of our so-called faith. I thought that by the second Christmas, you would be willing to welcome me home, and I heard nothing from you, and this hurt me so much that I worked during the holidays giving concerts to try to hide the fact that I was alone. I am always alone. I never felt like I fit in at school, I never felt like I fit in in Hollywood. I have always felt like I didn't deserve to be loved unconditionally because of you. I couldn't even give love and receive love because of you."
Mercedes couldn't finish, she didn't even know she was feeling those things until the words came out of her mouth. The Kelly Clarkson song came to her mind and she began to sing it as a catharsis to what she was feeling.
I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known
Better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life
Because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
After hours of confessionals and snack breaks, Mercedes was finally able to stop crying and forgive Quinn for what she felt like was rejecting her while Quinn was battling postpartum depression and when she seemed to desert Mercedes for Rachel like all her friends in the glee club did at some point.
"You know what Quinn? I just realized that when I have needed you the most you have always been there for me. When I had the beginnings of an eating disorder when I was juggling Shane and Sam, and now that I am dealing with my current familial drama. And that means more to me than any words that I can say."
"Well, we have this weird bond. People would think that we would be opposites but we are really quite similar. I just left Lucy Caboosey behind and became an insufferable jerk, while you have more of Mama Jones' patience, love, and forgiving nature and could only be everybody's friend because you feared rejection so much."
"It was that fear that made me break up with Sam what three or four times. I just always thought he would find someone better than me. Nobody ever put me first Quinn, not even my mother. She puts my dad above me and Michael. I couldn't see why Sam of all people kept choosing me. I sabotaged my relationship with him and everybody else because I don't want to be hurt again and my fear of true intimacy."
"I wish we could live a life without pain. But we have experienced the pain and loss of Finn and Noah. We know how short life truly is. And I hoping it makes us better able to realize how rare love is and how important it is to treasure every moment of being with the person you love."
"What if my mom is dying Quinn? How I am going to confront them all tomorrow? I don't know how I am going to have the strength to face the pain."
"We are going with you, Mercedes. We are your family, too. Sam is my brother and your future husband, and I am your sister. I think with us being there with you in church will give you the strength you need to later discuss whatever family emergency you have in private with them. You know you have our love and support, and I promise we won't let you down. We will pray and hope for the best. And if the worst happens, we won't desert you. I think it will take an act of God to get Sam to leave your side anyway."
Mercedes laughed for the first time with the image of Sam being unwilling to leave her side. "Thanks, Quinn. I am going to pray. Even though my faith has been faltering lately and I would rather self medicate and live in denial, I need to face my demons."
"Alright Troubletone Jones before you start bringing Jesus up in here, let's continue our Kelly Clarkson songfest with me singing Brittany's part and you singing Santana's.
Lyrics
You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in color
And do the things I want
You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
You heard that I was starting over with someone new
But told you I was moving on over you
You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You try to break me but you see what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me
You know in the end the day to left was just my beginning
In the end
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
When I'm alone
"Mike, I think you have lost Quinn to Cedes," Sam couldn't help but call Mike again after hearing them singing Kelly Clarkson, Spice Girls, Beyonce, and Cyndi Lauper songs when he returned home. It was if they were singing all girl empowerment songs and having the time of their lives. He wouldn't be surprised if they were singing that song to each other next with Mercedes taking over his part.
"Sam, you need to chill, bro. I am sure they are just having fun. Quinn and I will be back in California tomorrow while you will have Mercedes there with you for I don't know how long. Just let them bond. I know it's killing you now that you have had a little taste of Cedes, but you can't be hogging her and dogging her. Your relationship is going to be tough as it is with her being Hollywood and you being in Ohio. Get used to distance now, so it won't be a problem later."
"Easier said than done. And you know how I am not rational when it comes to Mercedes Jones. Common sense leaves me and I feel like she hung the sun and the moon, and I just miss her Mike. I didn't know how much until we were back together."
"I am taking a red-eye flight, so I will be there in time for church tomorrow. Quinn has told you the plan right?"
"Yes, she texted it to me when she texted it to you. I just didn't think you would be here."
"I will see you in eight hours, Sam. You have survived ten years without Mercedes, so I know you can last ten more hours." Mike told his friend before ending the call.