Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the delay between chapters! I had a pretty busy weekend and I was unable to sit down and write until this evening. All your reviews mean so much to me, so thank you for those. This is NOT going to turn into a Nate/Blair and Dan/Serena story, it will continue to be a Nate/Blair/Dan one. I'll probably be introducing Chuck within the next chapter or two. I'm hoping to get another chapter out tonight, but it all depends on how it seems to flow. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: The only thing I own are my ideas, the characters and Gossip Girl are not mine.

Chapter 4 -Tightrope

She could feel herself wearing thin. Blair would be lying to herself if she claimed to not have feelings for not only Nate, but Dan, too. They had always been there but she had just picked the path of ignoring them completely. Winter break had gone by quickly, and she saw little of both boys. It wasn't that she was avoiding them, but she had planned an oh-so convenient trip up to visit Serena in Connecticut for a week, another week in Sun Valley with her family, and she spent the other two weeks in New York visiting with new and old friends besides the two of them. Sure, they ran into each other at parties, but she always seemed to find someone else to either throw at one of the boys or something that needed to be done elsewhere.

The same kind of avoidance game went on for the first month of school. Dan was harder to hide from since he and Serena had become good friends over the first term of school. He was always popping up at their dorm, either looking for her or Serena. Blair would always excuse herself saying she had reading to finish or a paper to write when he showed up. But today was a different story.

The doorbell rang while she was in the middle of making a small salad for herself. It rang again while she was taking her sweet time to answer it. With a look of annoyance, she threw open the door expecting not expecting to see Dan standing in front of her, he didn't usually come over until later in the day. She stared at him for a second before he spoke.

"Hey, can I come in?"

"Serena's not here, she has some study group thing and she won't be back for another thirty minutes or so. Do you want me to tell her you stopped by?"

Dan shot a glance at her and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'm not here to see Serena."

Blair felt her stomach turn and she sighed, stepping to the side to let him in, shutting the door behind him. Dan sat down on the couch and looked restless, not saying anything.

"Are you just going to sit there? I have things to do and…"

He looked up at her, she was still standing by the door as if she was waiting for the first moment there was to open it and send him on his way.

"What's the deal, Blair?"

She was very aware of what he was talking about, but she decided to go with playing dumb at first.

"Hm?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned, getting irritated. Dan knew she knew what he was referring to and it frustrated him even more to know that she was trying to avoid this.

"Oh come on. You know what I'm talking about. We've barely spoken in the past two months, I feel like I did something to you and you're pissed or something. No, it's not even that, I know when you're pissed at me. I don't even know what this is."

His voice got angrier and angrier as he rambled on, he didn't realize how much this really tore him up inside until he looked up again to see her standing there, a slight frown painted on her face.

"Blair, I need you to tell me what's going on with you before I lose my mind."

She had moved closer to him, sitting in a chair next to the couch he was on. He didn't know what she thinking based on her expression alone, and this was new to him.

"I kissed Nate."

Dan prayed that his face didn't give him away at that moment, and he said a silent thank you when Blair's face didn't change.

"And?"

Her brows furrowed, now she was the confused one.

"Aren't you upset?"

He took a deep breath and when he could think of no words to say, he just shrugged. She rolled her eyes. That was so typical Dan. To use non verbal communication and hope that that was enough.

"Use your words, college boy."

Dan ran his hand through his short hair and attempted to think of the right words to say, he had to be careful.

"I guess."

"You guess? Wow, thanks for the insight."

"Look, I know you two have something - whatever it is - that I could never touch. At first I hoped it was just this insanely close friendship, like he was your brother or something, but clearly that's not the case."

Blair twirled the ruby ring around her finger out of nervousness; she wasn't really sure what to say to him. Inside she was screaming at herself to tell him the truth, the real truth, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"It was just a kiss, Dan."

"Was it?"

The two stared at one another for what seemed like an eternity before Blair figured she better be honest with him, she owed him that much.

"No, it wasn't. But when I kissed you, it wasn't just a kiss either. I don't know what's going on in my head right now –it's all really confusing and I don't know who I can talk to about it, so I've just been evading it. There's something there with you, but there's also something there for him. I'm sick of ignoring it, but at the same time there's nothing I can do but that."

Dan stared at her, waiting for her to finish so he could process the information. That wasn't what he expected to come out of her mouth.

"I see."

Smooth.

"God, Dan! That's all you're going to give me? You're so infuriating. You're good with words so spit something out."

He didn't know what to say, she was confused enough already and he didn't want to make things worse for her, so he just sat there.

"What should we do about…us?" Was there even a them?

"Nothing. There is nothing to do other than just be friends. It's worked out pretty well for the past four years, why break something when we don't need to?"

He nodded, feeling a little numb. That wasn't what he was hoping for.

"Maybe you should ask Serena out, you seem to make her laugh."

Dan was too lost in his own thoughts to really process what she was suggesting.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want."

At this point, Blair was blinking back tears. Thankfully, as if right on cue, her best girl friend burst through the door, already complaining about some test she was probably going to fail. Blair had never loved Serena so much for being Serena more than she did now, since she was completely oblivious to the fact that there was tension hanging heavily in the air.

"WHAT is the point of college if they make it so impossible to do well!? I'm going to flunk out of this class, I just know it…"

She went on babbling for another minute or two but neither of them was really paying attention to what she was saying. The silence snapped Blair out her trance and she plastered a fake smile on her face.

"Thanks for reminding me, S. I've got a quiz tomorrow and I need to go over some reading for the 50th time."

Dan eyed her and stood up as she did, he wanted to reach out and grab her hand and try to convince her that maybe trying out this whole more than friends, for real, wouldn't be such a bad thing. But she darted into her room too quickly, shutting the door, and he was standing there alone with Serena. She looked at Dan and gave him a genuine smile.

"Hey, want to grab something to eat? I need some food in my system before I pull an all nighter for this baby."

He managed to force out a chuckle and nodded, remembering what Blair had said to him about spending more time with Serena.

He picked and prodded at his food all throughout dinner. Serena had been chatting away about her day, and was just as bubbly as she normally was. She elbowed Dan in the side when he ignored another one of her questions due to spacing out. He kept replaying the conversation with Blair over and over in his head, wishing he had said something, anything, differently.

"Helllllo, earth to Dan Humphrey?"

Dan set his fork down and gave Serena an apologetic smile.

"Sorry. I'm terrible company right now, I know."

"Am I boring you?"

He laughed, as if she could ever bore anyone.

"Hey! That was a serious question!"

"I know, I know. No, you're not boring me. I've just got some stuff on my mind."

Serena turned to face him, resting her elbow on the table and propping her head on her hand.

"Spill it, I've been told I'm an excellent listener."

He hesitated at first, and then decided what the hell; he might as well dance around the issue.

"Has Blair seemed off to you lately?"

She looked off into the distance, as if she was looking for the right answer.

"Not really, no. I think she's jus stressed about all this school stuff, and the sorority has been pretty demanding lately, too. Why?"

He shrugged, not wanting to press on the issue any further.

"There has to be a reason why you asked."

"She just seems distant lately, and I think she's a little upset with me. It aggravates me because we can always talk about this sort of stuff, and it's like there's this block there."

Serena looked legitimately concerned, which he appreciated. If anyone knew Blair better than Dan and Nate, it was her.

"What do you mean a block?"

"Like there's something I should say but I can't, or I won't. I don't know which."

She stared at him thoughtfully, trying to read his face, hoping her questions would eventually lead to the answer he was looking for.

"Why won't you…or why can't you?"

He rubbed his eyes and leaned back in the booth.

"It would just complicate things, and her life is hard enough as is without me running my mouth. It's better if I just stay quiet."

Serena smiled knowingly at him, and he looked at her, confused.

"What?"

"That's very unselfish of you, to keep something like that to yourself. You must really love her."

Dan almost spit out his drink.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I'm right, aren't I? You wouldn't look like that if I wasn't."

He put his head in his hands and sighed, avoiding any sort of eye contact with the blonde sitting next to him who had called him spot on.

"Don't tell her, please. It would mess up everything."

Serena took that as an obviously confirmation and happily ate the rest of her dinner while Dan sat in silence figuring out what the hell he was going to do.

Meanwhile, Blair was doing her best to concentrate on the book in front of her, but she was having a hard time focusing. Her phone vibrated next to her and she glanced to see a new message, from Nate.

Feels like it's been forever, what are you up to? And don't say studying.

She laughed quietly and quickly responded.

Studying, sorority stuff, more studying. You?

Blair had read maybe a paragraph before her phone buzzed again.

Frat shit, lax shit, getting shit faced. You need a break, let's hang out tonight.

Her stomach churned and she texted him back,

No, now isn't a good time. Not feeling too well, I'm going to read a few more chapters and sleep. Night!

After not receiving any messages from him within the next few minutes, she decided her little white lie had worked and went back to finishing up her reading for the night. About twenty minutes later, she heard the door open and she prayed that Serena was alone.

"Serena? Is that you?"

There was no response and just as soon as she got up to open her door to see who it was, someone turned the handle and pushed it open slightly. Blair jumped back onto her bed and her face must have looked pretty amusing, because the second Nate stepped through the door he burst into laughter.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. But I come with gifts! Well, gift." Nate held up a bag with soup in it, "You said you weren't feeling well, and I figured you probably hadn't had much to eat tonight, so I wanted to bring this by and check on you."

He sat next to her on the bed and handed her the soup. Nate placed the back of his hand on her forehead,

"You don't feel too warm, it's probably nothing serious."

She smiled weakly at him, still recovering from the initial shock of seeing him in her room and him scaring her half to death.

"You okay, you look kind of pale? Maybe you are getting sick…"

"I'm fine. I've just had a stressful day."

"Do you want to talk about it?

She bit her lower lip and looked up at him; his blue eyes were unusually clear and not at all glossed over like she was used to.

"It's…complicated."

He laughed and shook his head, when was her life not complicated?

"Well luckily for you, I haven't smoked a joint in at least 12 hours so I'm pretty clear headed. Anything I can do?"

Blair couldn't help but roll her eyes at him; only Nate would consider going 12 hours without lighting up an achievement.

"About that kiss…."

"What, do you want a round 2?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively and she hit his arm.

"Nate! I'm being serious."

"So am I."

She groaned and fell backwards onto her bed; he laughed and grabbed her arms, pulling her back into an upright position.

"Alright, alright. Go on. What about it?"

"Did it…mean anything to you? Or was it just like, you know…"

Nate slowly laced his fingers with hers but she pulled back, he looked at her, puzzled. She was waiting for his answer.

"To be honest? Yeah."

Blair took a deep breath and rubbed her temples, there was a small part of her that wished he had something else.

"Are you okay?"

She shook her head and fought to find the words she wanted to say.

"This is bad."

"Why?"

"Because, it just makes things messy."

"How? Blair, I don't think you know how much I've wanted that to happen. You have this grasp on me and…"

She stood up and walked over to the other side of the room, tightly crossing her arms over her chest, not daring to look at him fearing that her expression would give her away in a second. This boy made her so weak.

"Stop. Don't say anything more."

"But Blair –"

"Nate, no. Just trust me when I say that it's better if you don't."

His heart sank. She didn't want him? Had it really been all in his head the whole time? He had to ask.

"Did it mean nothing to you?"

Her brown eyes met his blue ones and she had to look away quickly before she said things she shouldn't.

"No, it meant everything. And that's the problem."

Nate couldn't help but feel a little relieved, but he was still confused.

"Why?"

"It would be fair to either of you if I tried to start something with one of you."

He wracked his brain trying to figure out what she was talking about, and then it hit him. Dan.

"Oh."

"Please, don't hate me."

He muttered under his breath, "I don't think I could."

They both heard the door open, and Serena's heels click against the hardwood floor. Blair stiffened and Nate stood up, figuring it would be better if he left. He walked over to her and before she knew it, his lips were against hers. Blair let herself enjoy it for a second before pushing his tall frame away,

"Nate, no! You need to go."

She opened the door and softly pushed him out. He turned around to look at her before he walked out the door and she stared back, with nothing but questions written all over her face.

Nate took the longest way possible back to his dorm, not really sure if he was ready to face Dan. It took all of ten minutes to get back and he groaned when he saw his building come into view. It hadn't been enough time to process his thoughts, but it was below freezing and getting late, so he went inside.

Dan was staring at the television but not really watching it, there was some infomercial on about a grill and he figured something mindless is exactly what he needed at the moment. The sound of the door unlocking and opening startled him and he looked up to see Nate. Who else would it have been?

The troubled expression on Nate's face was one that Dan knew all too well, it was the kind of look you got when Blair Waldorf took a piece of your heart that you would never get back. Nate looked up from the floor and at his best friend's face, their appearances were almost identical.

The taller, blonder one grabbed two beers from the fridge in the kitchen and sat back down next to the brunette. He handed Dan the open beer and they both took a large swig at the same time. The two boys sat in stillness waiting for the other one to speak. Nate looked straight at the television; they were cooking chicken on it.

"I love her too, you know."

Dan took a large sip of his drink and set it down, not taking his eyes off the screen the entire time.

"Yeah, I do."