Chapter 4: To Save The Day

Dark Land

Mario grumbled as he rolled out of bed, what ever aches and sprains he had received during the last battles in the day before, he did not feel it, not until he woke up. He felt a little stiff and sore even after he did some stretches. Perhaps it would be a good idea to soak in the mud pits after breakfast.

"Morning," Luigi greeted. He blinked his blood shot eyes and sat up, only to grab his head. "Ah man."

"I think somebody went over their limit last night," Mario remembered the sight he received once he had joined everyone during the celebration. Luigi was lying down underneath a keg with the spout directly over his mouth. "We got some pain killers in the bath room."

"I'm already going to hear the lectures from mom," Luigi propped himself up. "What else is supposed to be good for a hangover?"

"Time," Mario flicked his tail. "But that isn't the answer that you want. I know you. You want something you can put on your head or eat and drink."

"I'm not in the mood for any dog hairs," Luigi dragged his legs and draped them over the edge of the bed.

"Toast," Mario suggested. "I know toast that is a little bit burnt and covered with butter and honey is good and tomato juice."

"What about bacon and eggs?"

"You can have em." He made a face. "I rather have eggplant and bacon."

"Eggplant is nasty."

"Not as nasty as eggs." Mario stood up. "I wonder what is in store for us today."

"I have no idea," Luigi forced himself to stand up. "Maybe we will start turning the mushroom people back to normal, just a little at a time."

"Maybe. I wonder if we will get the guard duty of Princess Peach again."

"How did it go last night?"

"Wonderful. We shouted, we argued. She called me a monster and I called her a spoiled brat." Then something else happened. They talked, rationally. She even complimented his moustache.

"I'm not surprised," Luigi dragged himself to their bathroom. "Water on my face and some aspirin."

"That sounds like a good combo," Mario put on his spiked bands and collar. The princess said she would order her people to treat Koopas with respect. He had to wonder if she would keep her word. She did sound so sincere when she had said that and complimented his facial hair. He hoped she was sincere. "Why would I hope that?" Mario asked and stared at his reflection. Was it because he thought she was pretty? He wasn't lying when he complimented her figure.

"Hey Narcissus, we are going to be late for breakfast." Luigi poked him in the stomach. "We know you hate that."

"Lay off," Mario slapped at his hand. Peach didn't even notice he was chubby.

"Somebody is cranky," Luigi opened their door. Someone had left a note taped to it with his name on it.

"What is this?" Mario smirked.

"It's for me," Luigi unfolded it. "My secret admirer wants to meet me at the tennis courts after breakfast."

"I wonder who it is," Mario said in a singing, teasing voice.

"Do you know anyone else who dots their "i"s with hearts?" Luigi was blushing." I wonder what she wants?"

"Maybe she wants to play tennis?" Mario shrugged. "You'll find out after breakfast."

"Are you sure I can do this? What if she wants more?"

"You won't find out unless you show up," Mario grabbed his brother by the wrist. Stop arguing and let's a go."

Mushroom Kingdom

Maria did feel much better after a night at the castle. She and Pauline created a decent fire in one of the fireplaces and the sat down in front of it until they were completely dry before they sought after food. Using several meats, cheeses, vegetables to make sandwiches and they ate them along with chips, fruit, sodas, and ice cream for dessert before they went to bed. Maria had thought she wasn't going to get any sleep considering where they were, but the second she crawled under the covers she drifted off.

Once they woke up the raided the pantry again for cereal and coffee and used milk from the refrigerator before they were ready to set out in the search of the princess

"It is kind of sad when you think about it," Pauline said as she stared up at the stone platforms above their heads. "These poor guys were just minding their own business when this King Fido came with his coupon troop."

"His name isn't Fido," Maria corrected. She saw something running towards them. "I think it is Bowser."

"It's some dog's name, and I think I got the troop name wrong," Pauline shrugged.

"Something is coming," Maria pointed at the strange red mushroom creature running up to them. It looked like the same kind of odd creature they saw last night. "Hi little guy. Do you remember us?"

"He doesn't look to happy to see us," Pauline said.

The mushroom roared and came running at them faster.

"Get out of the way," Maria ran off the road. "Pauline watch out."

Pauline squealed and jumped up high, higher than any normal human could and landed right on the shroom's head.

"Wow," Maria gasped. " That was amazing."

"Thanks," Pauline gasped. "There is more coming this way."

"I see them," Maria tugged at the brim of her cap as the two shrooms approached. She ran again and jumped, only to quickly jump again once she felt the same strange squishy sensation as before. She didn't pay attention to what was overhead and felt her fist come in contact with something before she landed on the second creature.

"You hit a block with a question mark," Pauline pointed out.

"Yeah and?" She turned around to see an odd red mushroom with eyes pop out and slide across the platform. "So they have prizes inside?"

"Lets get it."

"You get it," Maria noticed something else that was coming for them. It resembled a yellow upright walking with a green shell. "I think this Bowser guy has the Ninja Turtles working for him.

"Transform," the turtle shouted and blew some strange dust at her.

Maria sneezed. "Thanks for aggravating my allergies." She jumped.

"Ah crap," the turtle said right before she landed on him.

"Do you think there is a pattern between mushrooms and turtles?" Maria turned to face her roommate and found to be staring at Pauline's shin. "Pauline?" She had to crane her neck to see her giant roommate.

"I only touched it," Pauline explained. "I didn't eat it, and there was no giant hookah smoking caterpillar to explain what it did."

"I gotta find me a mushroom."

"Maria, watch out behind you."

Maria turned around to see that the overturned turtle had returned to its feet and was running towards them again. Pauline stomped on it and for a good measure gave it a kick. The shell slid across the ground and bowled over several more turtles and mushroom before it struck a pipe and slid back and nearly tripped Pauline. She managed to stay on her feet, but she shrunk back to her normal height.

"I think we figured out some important lessons here." Maria said. "We can jump and stomp on the mushrooms, but we have to kick the turtles."

"And make sure to jump if they bounce off something and come back," Pauline sounded disappointed. "I think its safe to say to not let anything touch us."

"Bingo, We have to climb over that pipe thing."

"How do you know we are going in the right direction?" Pauline asked.

"I'm not certain," Maria shrugged.

"You know this is kind of odd," Pauline bent down and jumped up high she landed at the edge of the top of the pipe. "How often do you hear about stories where a couple of regular girls from Brooklyn go off to rescue a princess?" She did not see the strange plant that was rising in the center of the pipe.

"Pauline jump down," Maria shouted.

Pauline nearly fell off and turned to see an odd Venus flytrap rise up and snap its jaws before it sank down again. "What the hell?"

"Looks like something else we have to watch out for," Maria waited until the plant was completely down before she jumped up on the pipe. "Gotta do this quick." She jumped off the other side and landed in front of another pipe. "This one doesn't have a plant." She jumped on it. There were more of the mushroom creatures next to the pipe and another pipe after it.

"It looks pretty straight forward." Pauline jumped down on the mushrooms and squashed them.

"This kind of fun," Maria climbed down and watched the next pipe until the odd plant had retracted. "Almost like an obstacle course." She jumped up on the pipe and jumped down. There was a gap in the middle of the ground. "Oh I can jump that, no problem."

"You are right about it being an obstacle course," Pauline said after they had cleared a second gap and pounced in a few more of the turtles. "I need a breather."

"Considering how much you sing, your lungs should be in top condition." Maria stared up at another question block and jumped. It wasn't a mushroom, but a gold coin. "It looks like we are also getting paid for this." She put the coin in her pocket and turned to see what looked like a short staircase. "Lets see if you can keep up." She climbed the stairs and jumped to the other stairs on the other side before racing down them.

"I can be quick," Pauline jumped after her "This place is weird."

"I think we established that last night," Maria climbed up another group of stairs. "I told you to stay back at the castle."

"I can't let you do this alone." Pauline climbed up after her.

"Not a bad view," Maria shielded her eyes once she had reached the top. "I see a flag pole and a fort not far ahead, and in the distance I can make out a castle..."

"I wonder if that is where Rover is keeping the princess."

"It's Bowser," Maria stared down. There was a large gap between where they were standing and the steps that lead to solid ground. "Watch your step."

"I think we can jump across this," Pauline gave herself a running start and leapt. She landed on the steps on the other side. "I wonder how this is possible. I could never jump like this back home."

"I have no idea," Maria jumped after her and landed by her side. "We also gotta watch out for pits. Man, I wish we got an instruction book on how to get through this crazy land."

"More of those fungus creatures on the ground." Pauline pointed at the mushrooms.

"I think I see another question block," Maria stared at the platform in front of her. There was another turtle pacing on top of it. She waited until he turned around and walked the opposite direction before she jumped onto it. "Hey Coupon Turtle."

"That's Koopa Troopa," the turtle spun around.

"Thanks. What do you call those little mushroom guys who hang out with you?"

"Goombas," The Troopa answered.

"Okay and those odd plants in the pipes?"

"We call them Piranha plants." The Troopa crossed his arms. "There is a big variety of them as well as Troopas like myself. Some of us have wings."

"Maria what are you doing?" Pauline asked.

"Getting some information," she turned back to the Troopa. "Thanks, but you are not bright." She stomped on him and then kicked his shell. "Now for that block." She jumped and struck it with her fist. Nothing fell out, but a strange flower sprouted from the top. "A flower?" She jumped up and the second she touched it felt hotter around her. "What happened?" She looked at herself. She was the same height, but her jeans had turned white. "Damn flower bleached my jeans."

"What happened?" Pauline asked once Maria had landed next to her.

"My pants changed color and I think I have a fever." Maria frowned. "I wonder if those Koopa guys laid a trap." She glared at the Goombas waiting for her on the bottom step. "You jerks," she pointed at them. "Your trick flower got me sick." A fireball leapt from her hand and singed one of the Goombas.

"How did you do that?" Pauline asked.

"I think that flower wasn't a trap." She held out her arms. "Flame on." Nothing happened.

"I think all you can do is shoot fireballs."

"Works for me," Maria smirked and used her new power to blow the group of Goombas away. "Now what were we talking about, back before that piranha plant sprouted?"

"About how you don't often see princesses being rescued by regular girls? It usually happens to be some knight in shining armor, or a handsome prince, or an adventurer, someone like Aragorn, or Link."

"Or a green ogre?"

"Yeah," Pauline nodded. "I guess sometimes it might even be a regular guy, well a regular teen, not some blue collar guys in their late twenties or early thirties who wears overalls to work."

"And the girls rarely get to rescue the guy."

"Buffy did it all the time."

"You got a point," Maria shrugged. "I guess I kind of wished we were rescuing a prince."

"Maybe it is a prince. You heard how that king talked."

"Hmm a couple of regular gals going off to rescue a handsome prince," Maria tried to picture what the perfect prince would look like.

"I hope he looks like Johnny Depp." Pauline sighed.

"That or Ewan McGregor."

"Or David Boreanez."

"Or John Leguizamo."

"John Leguizamo?" Pauline gave her a look.

"He has beautiful eyes and a great smile, and did you see his body in Land of the Dead?" Maria sighed again. "He clearly worked out for that role. He had great pecs."

"I kind of admit it he was kind of sexy, until he turned into a zombie."

"We are wasting time just day dreaming. Lets a go."

"Why did you say that?"

Maria shrugged. "It just felt like something that I should say."

"I guess," Pauline followed her. "Hey what if this Bowwow turns out to be really hot?"

"We can still kick his ass, and I doubt he would be hot. He probably looks like Dennis Hopper."

Dark Land

Mario didn't get to find out about what had happened with Luigi and his mystery date. He was scheduled to guard Peach a few hours after breakfast had ended. He hoped she ate and didn't have to wait for him to test out her food, for all he knew they could have given her eggs.

"Hello General," the Paratroopa sitting next to the bars stood up and saluted Mario when he had entered. "Are you taking over?"

"As of now I am," Mario said. "Did she eat her breakfast?"

"Every last bit of it," the Paratroopa sneered at Peach. "She was a little bit of a piglet when she ate."

"Show some respect," Mario snarled. He hated that term. "And never call anyone a piglet again."

"I'm sorry, general." The Paratroopa saluted him before he left.

"I'm sorry he called you that," Mario turned to face her. "Did you sleep well?"

"I barely slept," Peach shook her head. "But I did eat."

"What did they bring you?" Mario asked.

"Fried egg toast with strawberries and powdered sugar, a slice of ham, a couple of eggs, hash browns and a glass of orange juice to drink."

"Sounds good, except for the eggs."

"It was delicious and I forgotten my manners again," Peach stared at the ground. "I was a piglet."

"No," Mario didn't care he raised his voice. "Never use that term to describe yourself. Not even Luigi calls me piggy or piglet." He ran his talons over his stomach. "He just calls me chubby and makes fat jokes."

"That's awful. He shouldn't say such things."

Mario shrugged. "He doesn't like it when anyone else calls me those names. He also calls me short, then again I call him beanpole, and wussy."

"Why would you do that?" Peach grabbed onto the bars. "I thought you were brothers."

"We are, brothers tend to do that, Bowser's kids tease each other all the time. Its what we do doesn't change the fact that we love each other."

"I guess," Peach placed a finger under her mouth. "I don't have any brothers or sisters, my mother died when I was real young and my father never re-married."

"I'm sorry," Mario lowered his head. "Luigi and I only grew up with one parent and she isn't even our real blood mother. I guess you could tell."

"I wasn't sure," Peach shrugged. "I didn't know if you received most of your looks from your father."

"She told us when we were kids that she came across our eggs. She tried to find our parents, but couldn't. She raised us as her own."

"She is your mother, doesn't matter if there is a blood relation, all that matters is the love."

"Yeah, but I can't help but wonder what happened to our real parents. They may have been killed or captured by something, or some other reason had to leave us. I have had odd dreams where they are still alive and they had another child and in those dreams it was always a little girl."

"They might be real."

"Maybe. I doubt I ever going to meet this little sister."

Mushroom Kingdom

Maria kicked in the door that lead to the castle dungeon. "We did it." She didn't want to admit it, but she did feel a bit disappointed at Bowser. She shouldn't have been surprised he was a giant turtle, with a spiked shell and a dragonhead and tail, considering what they have been fighting.

"I'm not so sure," Pauline grabbed her shoulder and pointed to the writhing form of the giant lizard creature in the lava. The head flipped back and what appeared to have been a Goomba in an ejection seat sprang out.

"What the hell?" Maria scratched her head. "We didn't defeat Bowser?"

"Sorry gals, you didn't." A small voice said from behind. It belonged to the odd little kid in a blue vest and wearing a white mushroom cap with bright red spots on his head. "Hi, my name is Toad."

"You are one of the mushroom people?" Pauline asked.

"I'm one of Peach's personal retainers."

"Where is she?" Pauline asked.

Toad sighed. "I'm sorry ladies, but our princess is in another castle."

"How many of these castles are there?" Pauline asked.

Toad shrugged. "I'm not certain, but a bunch have been built across the kingdom, most were used as forts in the past."

"Thanks for the tip," Maria frowned. She had no idea how many false Bowsers she was going to have to fight to free the princess.

A/N:

Having the girls go through the land and their reactions to the troop and the power ups is inspired by Nintendrawer's comics at Deviant Art. Go check her gallery out. It is amazing what she can do with MS paint and a mouse.

I couldn't resist the joke about Dennis Hopper, and Maria didn't pick that name out of nowhere. He was also in the Land of the Dead with Leguizamo.

Stay tuned for the next chapter: The Heroines are Coming