{CHAPTER 4 DID NOT LOAD PROPERLY AT FIRST. IF YOU READ THE INCORRECT LOAD OF CH. 4 IT HAS NOW BEEN REPLACED WITH THE CORRECT VERSION. SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION.}

On Cold Desert:

Non-canon.

Rated T.

POV alternates between Bella and Jasper.

Setting (Currently): Parked on the side of a road in Oregon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But I do own approximately sixteen magazines that are Twilight-related. The pictures, of course, have been cut out for my own personal viewing pleasure.

Chapter 4.

JASPER'S POV

I don't think he ever knew, but I watched Edward constantly.

When Bella, fragile and strange, came stumbling into his life, his face gained something it had always lacked. Before, one had to look past his handsomeness to realize he was troubled. It wasn't always plain; he hid it well. In fact, his sadness was so difficult to witness, I'm not positive he was even aware of it. But no one could withhold their feelings from me for long, regardless of whether or not they could hide them from themselves.

Their relationship was so interesting. I often thought that a bit of open volatility would help them; he was too soft with her, and I could see that she didn't approve of it. Bella's strong opinions never ceased to cause them strain, but I was impressed with her ability to hold fast to her beliefs and desires.

I observed him interacting with Bella. He would reassure her if she tripped with a gentle touch, quietly argue that she needed to eat when she refused, and nobly remove himself from a situation where she shivered in the cold.

They were all small things, barely noticeable. Yet they made me think that Carlisle or no Carlisle, Edward was the most human of us all.

I wanted to be him.

So I practiced smiling in the mirror in Rosalie's room. I would imagine that our roles were reversed: Edward would be the awkward, scarred bystander, and I the good-looking, easy-going caretaker. I pretended I had someone to watch over, creating situations in my head where I would push past my shyness and take the lead. It was as if I was a soldier again, strategizing. Dimly, I realized it was foolish and even infantile. But I was powerless to stop.

I never thought that I would actually get the chance to fill Edward's shoes. Now, though, it seemed as if I could make-believe I was my brother, if only to help Bella come through this situation whole and mentally sound.

I wasn't doing my job very well.

"When Rosalie chased Chelsea and Afton off, Emmett followed her, leaving the rest of us to listen to you rolling around in pain. It was tense. Carlisle called Eleazar, who lives in Alaska with the Denalis."

Bella blinked slowly. Her pale face was snowy-white with disbelief. I had already told her about the curse. It had killed me to mention Alice's name. But I was even more regretful to say 'Edward'.

Watching Bella's expression curl up over itself, and her hands fly to her waist, as if she was coming apart at the seams was…excruciating. Her emotions were continually either a treat or poison to my system; their was no in-between with her. She was either dying of happiness or sadness.

Either way, she was always dying.

"Why Eleazar?" she asked, pronouncing his name carefully.

Shaking off my morbidity, I replied, "Eleazar used to be one of the Volturi. While he was there, he learned of Chelsea and her gift. He grew tired of the Volturi, and managed to escape with his mate Carmen. Eleazar told Carlisle that Chelsea was not able to break their bond because Afton was not in Italy at the time they left Volterra. Their powers are only compatible if they're together. I guess the Volturi didn't think Eleazar and Carmen were important enough to go after."

"Carlisle needed more information. Eleazar told him that all other cases where Chelsea and Afton used their gift ended in tragedy."

"What do you mean?" Bella whispered, biting her bottom lip.

I winced. She was so easily breakable.

"Apparently, the other couples died."

Just as I expected, Bella's knuckles turned white with the ferocity of her hold on the napkins I had given her moments earlier. It was a pathetic attempt to step into Edward's role. I felt rather foolish for the gesture; after all, she wasn't making very good use of them. They lay in messy shreds on the back seat. Only one had survived her destructive grip.

Bella ripped through the thin material of the napkin, her brown eyes screwed up in despair.

There went the last one. I hoped her mutilation stint would replace a crying jag. From what Edward had told the family, she was quite prone to those. I didn't know if I could handle Bella's tears.

I cleared my throat and reached out to her. At the last moment, I pulled back and knotted my hands together.

"Regardless, the main issue was your…discomfort. The curse had dimmed for the rest of us. But for some reason you didn't stop screaming. Eleazar and Carlisle decided we should separate. And because of my ability, I could ease your pain and put you to sleep. We packed a few things, said our goodbyes, and went in opposite directions."

I conveniently failed to mention the disdain with which Alice had brushed my hand, and the distinct lack of any declarations of love that filled the room before she folded into Edward's silver Volvo and was gone.

Bella gulped. The motion drew my attention to her neck. It was pale and creamy, and I could see her pulse thumping in the crook where sinew and vein met to tempt me.

I closed my eyes and focused on her next words, instead of her delicious smell, suddenly saturating the small car. I sent her a wave of calmness, hoping it would lessen the strength of her frantic scent.

"Did they go to the Denalis?" she guessed.

I nodded. "And I'm taking us south. I figured you could use some warm weather."

She smiled weakly, and my insides tightened.

"The pain has already started back up again for me and…the others. I called…him while you were sleeping. Now, it's only speculation, but when Rose lost Chelsea and Afton in the forest Carlisle thinks they were able to ignite the curse again. He and Eleazar are still trying to figure out exactly how it works. Eleazar might have to rejoin the Volturi to get some answers. And of course, Carlisle is reasoning with them. In vain, unfortunately."

Suddenly, I was weary of talking. I put my head in my hands and sighed. I felt too old, too useless. My strength had left me.

Then, a cool hand touched my knee. I raised my head. Bella was gazing at me with her milk-chocolate eyes wide and wet. Tears were flowing over her reddening rims.

"Jasper," she whispered, and I sensed my muscles coming undone.

Almost involuntarily, I erased the space between us.

With my arms around her, she sobbed into my chest. I worried I was suffocating her with the ferocity of my hold, but I could tell she was gripping my shoulder blades with as much force as she was capable of. Even more so, I questioned my control. It was maddening to have a human so close. Yet it was bearable.

We curled up in the backseat. She sat in my lap, soaking my shirt and tearing my heart apart with the sound of her misery.

And though I couldn't cry, I knew that she was shedding my tears for me.

A/N:

Short Chapter. But I am officially erecting an orange sign that reads: "End of Angst".

Mostly, this is the worst of it. Sorry the first few chapters have been a real downer. But now, I promise, we'll get in to some fun.

I still need more song suggestions for upcoming chapters. It's really quite crucial. If you recommend a song, or even a band, I will make sure to mention you in an Author's Note.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. I give no thanks, however, to those that read and do NOT review. And for those that have added Cold Desert to your Fav/Alert lists without reviewing- come on now. It takes less than a minute to click that green button and tell me what you think.

I have gotten over 300 hits for this fic. Serious face. But I have less than 20 reviews! It's really quite frustrating, especially considering the fact that I am a huge review slut. Put yourself in my shoes!

Now, I'd like you all to head over to twilifecrisis's fic I'm Okay with It. It's a Kellan Lutz/OC fic, and trust me- it has this ridiculous, novelistic feel to it that sucks you in immediamente.

Also, The So Unknown by Slywolf9. It's Jasper/Bella, like mine, but it's insanely popular. I'm betting you've already heard of it. If not, you have now.

REVIEW!