A/N: Sorry I didn't say so before but this is a drabble fic and not a typical story formatted one. I'm also practicing writing in present tense in some of the scenes so that's why you see the changes there as well. Thanks for dealing ;p
It's during their first tour of New Vulcan that she finally lets him to sleep over.
Their application for aid relief and research took only two Yorktown days to be received, authorized and processed, which for most any posting is unheard of.
She thinks the Ambassador might have had something to do with it, seeing as it was his son who was applying but went with the flow and packed her meager belongings without a fuss about the suddenness of their departure.
With her fern sitting neatly in the officers' lounge with a list of strict instructions as to its care, Nyota left for the shuttle nexus and boarded alongside her enigmatic companion.
Leaving the station went easy enough, they barely had anything to pack and with the rest of the crew seen as auxiliary staff their positions on the space station were readily and eagerly filled by bored officers tired of idling in the wings.
The warp 4 capable Vulcan survey ship they're assigned to ride over has its pros and cons. At warp 4 it will take them a little over 13 hours to reach the planet's gravity well and unlike the Enterprise there's not anything for either of them to readily do.
On the other hand, the V'tosh made vessel is fitted more like a commercial starship than a military freighter or starfleet model so its accommodations for the multi-hour voyager lend itself towards creature comforts and leisurely pastimes.
Spock sat buckled for most of the voyage beside her, playing numeric puzzlers on his PADD, under the poor guise of reading while she caught up on her favorite sitcoms, leaning heavily against his shoulder.
When she gazed up to find a number of Vulcan eyes upon her, Nyota quietly clears her throat and starts to sit up, to show a bit more of decorum for their social mores. So when Spock's large hand caught her by the shoulder and placed her back against him, she couldn't help the smile that came to her lips at his clear insistence that she stay where she was.
As they disembarked with their luggage thrown over his shoulder, they were met with a flitter and carted away to the base where the New Vulcan council was conducting its relief operations.
She half expects Sarek to greet them there at the entrance but when they escort them past the office to their adjoining room assignments, Nyota is both relieved and disappointed. While she and Spock have had their ups and downs, after meeting Sarek on that terrible day where he lost so much, the stoic, silver fox had become a good, if not close acquaintance.
The walk down the hallway was quiet and boring from the bare walls but it's a welcome distraction from the nervous tension she feels building between them as they near their lodgings. They approach the doors on the left, matte silver against a sickly looking yellow of the wall surrounding it and Nyota takes the first one they came across.
After she registers her voice signature and hand with the door, Spock follows her inside and places her bag by the doorway. He stood awkwardly with his own bag in hand, his eyes darting everywhere but where she stood near the entryway. Nyota didn't need their bondlink to know he wished to room with her but it was better to reinforce this boundary before he started testing others.
Crossing over the floor, Nyota took a hold of his shoulder and with a kiss on the cheek she thanked him and wished him a good night.
To his credit, Spock took it all in stride though his eyes lingered on her as he bid her to rest well. And to her amazement she does.
Something about finally being here on New Vulcan with him, being able to get into the work Spock wishes to do for his people, eases her fears about his health and their relationship. The knowledge of it along with the heavy gravity send her soundly to sleep.
In the morning, Spock chimes her door alert two beats before her alarm goes off and she lets him in as she gets ready for the day.
As she showered, the notion that Spock was meditating just a few feet away in her efficiency's main room, tickled Nyota into a smile. Once she was dressed carefully for the heat and the terrain, Spock walks her to the relief office's headquarters for the details of their assignment. Either by luck or bureaucratic blessing, they managed to get their first pick of biological survey.
Nyota would have been just as well with an engineering task or better yet supply distribution where she would have gotten a chance to practice her Vulkansu with someone who wasn't Spock or a delegate, but she knew that Spock would be elated at the change of discovering new and unknown creatures.
They head out on a modified flitter into the charted but undocumented lands surrounding three of the new by settlements. Nyota scouts alongside the Vulcan's watchful eye and together they pick apart the world around them with sample bags and holovid recordings.
A rhythm is established and she doesn't feel the need to question the how or why. She knows he's getting better, can see not only the 'old' Spock coming into view but a version of himself that she believes not many have witnessed before. With child like fascination, the young commander shows her everything of interest he comes across, with wide eyes and his mouth curling into the occasional muted smile. His limp is a mere memory of weeks past as he slinks about the rocks like a big cat on the prowl, that is if a snow leopard or jaguar were to hunt for scientific data.
Day after day, they repeat the motions of the one before and each day Spock comes back renewed. Climbing and walking out in the heat under the heavier gravity of the new world has them sore but strong. By the end of their mission she thinks they would have melted away all the softness they gained on the Enterprise under the hot suns' attention.
At the end of the week, Spock has taken to meditating outside. Nyota watches her Vulcan sit quietly with his legs folded beneath him as he stills himself in light of the setting suns. From her vantage point at the window, he looks regal and elegant, dressed as richly as he is but it's the peace that he radiates in middle of his meditation that Nyota finds most alluring. So when he asks to join her in late night game of chess, Nyota gladly takes him up on it.
Once a boisterous game that he nearly lost, Spock asks Nyota again the following night and every night thereafter as soon as she finishes her dinner. It's almost hilarious how he intensely he watches her spoon in the last of her meal, mentally willing her to bring the utensil to her lips so he can ask and they can be on their way.
She wants to be annoyed by it, with the way he's been escorting her about, hounding her to play logic games when she was really hankering for a cool shower and the softness of her bed, but she loves the normalcy of it all. He was Vulcan and he was content and he was regarding her as a bondmate would, overbearing but adorably smitten.
That wasn't to say he smothers her. Spock gave Nyota her space, allowed her to mingle with the others their on relief aid unencumbered by his presence as he socialized on his own but as soon as she made as if to leave for her quarters Spock materializes by her side like some conjured specter come to see her off. While she saw it as sweet and novel at first, the more he carries on with walking her about, the more Nyota saddens. This wasn't their life, they'll be back aboard the Yorktown at the week's end and he'll go from the vibrant, engaging Vulcan she's witnessed here and regress back to his solemn, limping state.
When he bid her goodnight that evening after chess, she lingers in her farewell, kissing him as if he would disappear.
It's not as oppressive as he made it out to be she thinks as they log the last of their samples from the day's forging.
In the last week and half, she and Spock had discovered fifteen new species of grass, seventy two new invertebrate and and forty six new vertebrate, if their findings were correct.
Spock has been ecstatic about the research expedition to the point where not for the first time does Nyota wonders if he would have been happier attending the Vulcan Science Academy. But then her mind wanders morbidly to that brief point where Vulcan was there before her and then suddenly wasn't. She can't imagine not knowing him, can't imagine him not existing and thinks it better that rebuked the school board and went onto Starfleet.
She uses the bone of her knuckle to worry away the sweat burning at her eye and looks over to where Spock's cycling through the tricorder readings like a kid in a candystore. He looks up to find her staring and she smiles at his adorable expression of being caught mid-geek out.
" Another successful day wouldn't you agree, Commander?" she chimes, pocketing her stylus.
Spock blinks and takes on a softer expression as he glances back down to the tricoder screen. " I would agree, k'diwa."
Nyota laughs quietly through her nose in three, sharp puffs and shakes her head. " You old romantic."
He feins ignorance as to her meaning but briefly in the back of her mind she feels him there, warm and inviting. Spock powers down his tricoder and stands to his full height against the light of the sun. " If you are ready, Nyota, we should return to the base and start our reports."
Unless it is expressly necessary, Spock has only referred to her by her first or Vulcan sentiments of affection. It makes every Vulcan they encounter seem to gag at the emotion of it all but it's one of the very few means he has at his disposal to claim her in front of them.
He warily eyes any new male they come across, creeping subconsciously closer to where she stands or sits, whenever said males attempt to talk to her. Seeing him so humorously jealous and covetous has been enjoyable to no end, though she wonders at the motivation of it.
Nyota grunts as she starts to rise from her perch when his large hands come around her waist and lift her to her feet. He does not readily let go, instead taking time to eye her with a longing she doesn't need his telepathy to tell her it's there. Her eyes flicker up towards his face and flutter at the intensity of his stare. " Uhh…"
She feels his gaze settle on her neck and watches as he visibly swallows and clench his jaw. Feeling possessive, eh?
She rolls her teeth over her bottom lip and watches as his attention refocuses on the plump flesh she's grazing. And lustful too.
" Spock, let's go." she says slowly as he inhales sharply at the touch of her hand at his face. Ok, maybe she shouldn't have done that.
Spock retrieves her hand away from his jaw but keeps his fingers laced around her wrist. What she feels there in his touch is hardly platonic and her face burns hotly as his thoughts roll through her.
Nyota tries hard to not cry out as the emotions attached to those thoughts follow closely behind but she still ends up shivering with a gasp.
At the noise, Spock's pupils blossom wide against the dark brown of his irises, drawing her closer towards his looming frame with a clear carnal interest. Weak in her knees, Nyota practical falls against him with a cloud of dust at her feet and the grainy noise of sand shifting beneath her boots. The hand at her waist tightens as he holds her contentedly up against him.
Her mouth sputters for air as if she had been holding her breath. Maybe she has, she can't remember. All she can think of is how good he smells and how warm he feels and how natural and good it feels to have him touch her.
The fingers around her wrist shift along the line of her forearm, leisurely down and back up. Her hand twists inside his hold and falls back limply as she is filled with an inappropriate amount of arousal. Was it his or was it hers?
She looks up to find his left eyebrow up near his bang at her mental contemplation, her thoughts filtering over through his grip of her arm.
/ Does it matter whose arousal it is, if we both concur to feeling it?/
That Spock chooses to reply mentally comes as no surprise. His mouth is busy leaving a kiss on the side of her palm and is taking its time in doing so. Her lids fall heavily to half cover her eyes as she watches the Vulcan slowly peel away his lips from her skin with a purr.
He studies the small slender hand he holds and exhales with a low groan from deep with his throat. Vaguely she feels his urge to mark her there but he denies him with a languid glance towards her eyes. She studies him warily as she feels the conflict within him. It had been months since he had bitten her and that he would feel the need to do so now startles her.
" You want to mark me?" she asks timidly, seeking out an explanation for the compulsion.
Spock slides the hand at her back to rest along her hip, possessively thumbing at the sharp flare at its side. " I want to because you are mine. I would have others know it."
She smiles with a small scoff and tilts her head to the side. " I'm sure everyone knows. You're practically shadowing me all over New Vulcan."
His jaw ticks and she hears a faint rumble coming from his throat that isn't a purr. " Whether everyone perceives us as bonded is entirely different for those that are unattached that see you as desirable."
His fingers tighten on her arm and a snippet of a memory not too long ago flashes over her.
Their arrival is of course met with curious glances but there are those that are more interested than others, particularly with her face and figure. Val-pak has left their population decimated and in its wake a number of unbonded males and females alike. For most humanoids in the alpha quadrant, Nyota is far from unbecoming, and her company has been found to be quite agreeable.
As intelligent as she is and politely observant of Vulcan customs, her presence among the male population has not gone unnoticed. He sees them try to engage her in casual conversation but Spock is not fooled by their overtures.
He will not stand by idly as they try and court her, she is his…but he has hurt her with his depression and callous behavior over the years. He cannot give anyone the chance to gain what he works so hard to repair. His attachment to her is important, Nyota is extraordinary. She is his...
Nyota comes back to herself, gasping up at his dark eyed stare as he pants back down towards her in equal breathlessness. Comprehension towards things she hadn't taken notice of her in light of her species and cultural upbringing becomes abundantly clear. Her interactions over the past for days are now seen in a new point of view, a Vulcan prespective.
His open Vulkansu affection, his lingering presence, his attendance of her now make more sense from the short meld between them. He wasn't so attentive during their time aboard the Yorktown, his place by her side was well known and respected. Here on New Vulcan, however, they are new and curious guests but the sentiment in which he delivers his affinity towards Nyota heartens her as well.
It wasn't Spock in the midst of a pissing match with other males, though if push came to shove he assures her that he would fight to secure his place as her mate. Calling her k'diwa and escorting her around had been as much as a pleasure as his true desire.
A certain amount of decorum is demanded of him as a Commander in Starfleet and he cannot be as open as they would prefer him to be but here on their mission, away from the rules and regulations that he takes strides not to bend or break, Spock openly courts her to his contentment.
Nyota watches him bow his head to nuzzle her face and feels that drunken, giddiness she knows to be his Vulcan happiness brim over from the brush of his cheek. She nuzzles him back earnestly and plants loud kiss near the flare of his ear.
They stand like that for a while, alone and basking in the peace that could be found within themselves. How wonderful she thought, knowing that the other wanted them just as much and had no qualms with showing it. In the dusty, jewel tone rocky expanse, Nyota snuggles closer with a wealth of emotion coursing through her.
For the first time, that she can truly ever think of, she and Spock are both happy.
Not bound in their duty or staring down the latest fiend, not arguing some cultural difference or bizarre behavior of the other's doing.
In this stillness in time, they are here in the desert with only themselves as company, exploring a new land and becoming reacquainted with love. She screws up her face along his shoulder and hides it along his neck, trying not to tear up.
She didn't think that this kind of carefree, insouciant happiness would be a part of their relationship but that is now that tasted the sweetness of it, she can't help herself in broadcasting it loudly between them. From the small smile that lengthens across his face as Spock holds her wrist, Nyota sees that he feels the same surprised pleasure.
The lusty appraisal she felt earlier burning at her hand returns and Nyota snorts in amusement.
With a streak of mischief gives the sharp line of his jaw a quick, playful nip and is rewarded with a low hum in his throat.
" How much longer…" he drawls. " should we wait...until we join ourselves again?"
He does not clarify what type of joining he's referring to but if she had to guess, chances are he means every way possible. Nyota casts her eyes off to the side as she extracts herself delicately from his grip. " We should wait until we're both ready."
His expression falls close and the heat that was there in his eyes is snuffed in place of cool reasonability. " Of course."
She hides her exasperation by looking down as she dusts off her pants. " Spock you should know I want you quite a lot."
" And yet you hold yourself back from me? Why?" he asks in honest confusion. " If you want me and I offer myself to be had then why rescind it?"
She scowls and pinches the bridge of her nose as she tries to be diplomatic as well as frank with him. " I just because I want something doesn't mean I she do it or that I'm ready for it. Do you remember our first time?"
He flushes heavily at the thought of it and stares at the equipment he is hauling back to the flitter like a pack mule. " This is different."
" I don't know that it is." she says truthfully. " There were a lot of things that I wasn't prepared for, the marking, the difference in the meld, your…." she stops herself and rubs at her own burning cheeks as she shifts her console and bioscanner in her arms.
Spock is lost in thought too, no doubt recalling each and every detail as if he had traveled back in time. They reach the flitter and load the truck quickly and quietly. Every now and then as they rearrange the items, they glance at the other from the corner of their eye to gauge the mood.
As they buckle into the flitter and shut the door, it is Spock who finally breaks the silence. " I will wait."
She looks up at him as he continues looking off into the distance ahead of them. " As much time until you are ready and think it wise to recommence our relations, I will wait. I always want what is best for you, Nyota. I have not had the best ways of showing it but I want you to have the best of me as well."
Nyota sits staring down at her lap as he finishing speaking, running her nail over the hem of her shorts. She spares one flitting glance up at his face as she replies before she goes back to looking down at her legs. " I uhh...Thank you. Let's talk more later, okay?"
Spock, noting her hesitance and saying his peace, nods as he puts the flitter in gear and heads back into base.
Nyota worries at her nail as she goes around in circles in her head. She keeps the short for a reason, any uneven length, chips or breaks sets her into a fit of chewing. Digging around in the rock quarries for specimens has not helped her condition and leaves her in desperate need of a manicure.
She groans in frustration and flops heavily back on the single couch afforded to her in the efficiency. Why couldn't she have just been more confident about them? Surely then they could both have what they want?
Things were getting weird again and she couldn't tell if it was their exchange in the desert or the lessening number of days they had to themselves on New Vulcan. While logging their data and filing their reports the silence between them was easy if not expected, given the nature of their work but as they struggled to speak over before dinner and during their chess match it was clear that something had been knocked out of accord.
Nyota, not one to suffer something needlessly, bid him a good night after the first game in the hopes to retiring early but she finds herself wide awake with him on her mind.
Should they make moves to stay here or should they go back to Starfleet knowing what they left behind on New Vulcan? That...thing he could not speak of, do they have to wait for it to happen to get married or could they tie the knot...err bond sooner? Maybe they should go…
Her doorbell chime brings Nyota out of her musing and walking towards the door. She opens it automatically, thinking Spock would be the one to ring her this late in the hour but while it's a Vulcan it is very much not Spock.
She stands there dumbly, blinking up at the dark pair of eyes looking down at her with an aloof expression. " Hello?" she replies, quickly in Vulkansu. She had paused for so long, that she hurries to cover up her gaffe.
" Good evening, Ms. Uhura. If I could have a moment of your time?" he tones back, studying her face as he does so. Nyota swallows, thoughts of the meld with Spock earlier resurfacing in her mind as the Vulcan watches her intently.
" Umm yes."
Nyota stands inside the doorway, using her body to block the entrance to her home and welcome him to speak. He seems pleased with this and moves his hands to rest within the sleeves of his robes. " I am uncertain if you recall seeing me before. I am unfamiliar with the nature of human memory though I know it is not eidetic as ours."
" Yes, it's not but I do remember you...you work at the reception desk, correct?" Nyota puzzles.
At that the Vulcan male seems positively elated and nods with a slight bounce of his head. He fiddles again with her robes and Nyota notices how they look too fine and too formal to be worn casually at night. All too late does Nyota begin to wonder as to the purpose of his visit, now with the surprise of his arrival worn off with the exchange of conversation, she believes she knows.
Worry bites at her as she takes in his eager eyes and somewhat preening stance. Oh no, oh noooooo, nope, nope, nope, she whispers in her mind. He's practically smiling at her! This is so bad, so awkward and sooo what Spock was talking about.
The male doesn't notice her inner turmoil and moves on with stellar grace. " That is precisely where we first saw each other. Very acceptable recall, indeed. I am called T'riel. I have noted your presence over the past 11 days and wished to express interest in-"
" She is not yours to proposition. Ms. Uhura is my intented."
Nyota looks to her left to find Spock outside of his efficiency next door, looking every bit as livid as he sounds. His voice was quiet and even in its tone but there is an unmistakable sharpness to it.
She's unsure of how much he heard but it was clear that Spock stopped midway through his night time ablutions. His pale chest is bare and still wet from the shower and he's only wearing his black starfleet sweatpants. Wait, he packed sweatpants for this trip?
He and T'riel lock eyes and the tension between them doubles, to the point where Nyota fidgets from foot to foot. The quiet feels worse than if they were yelling and growling at each other. T'riel's eyes look large and black as he moves closer to where Nyota stands. Nyota ambles back away from him, pulling her robe tighter around her frame, with a nervous lick of her lips.
Spock's body is turned towards but his eyes stay fixed on the male in front of her and the moment the receptionist steps towards her his nose flares in barely suppressed outrage. "Leave."
T'riel looks as if he were going to protest when Spock counters early and goes to her side, leading her back inside her room by her waist. She shuffles forward into the room awkwardly with the speed in which he deposits her and spares a glance over her shoulder at T'riel's irritated posturing.
When she turns to meet Spock's face, he leans forward and gives a gentle nudge in their bond for her to wait. " Please, excuse me."
Spock moves away from her flustered face and steps back out into the hallway with the door sliding shut behind him.
From where she stands Nyota hears the mute tones of the Vulcans outside grow louder and more heated. She exhales through her nose and rolls her eyes up at the sky. " Really didn't need any of this." she groans softly into the air with her arms barred in front of her.
She pulls the belt of her robe tighter and thinks of whether to go to bed or wait on the couch when Spock returns, looking no worse for wear.
Nyota swallows roughly as he stands just inside the room by the entryway. " T'riel will trouble you no further. He apologizes for his forwardness and I am sorry that you had to see me in such a state."
He seems embarrassed, whether from being out with so little clothing or Nyota witnessing his brooding, she can't tell. At first glance he seems unaffected but on the look over Spock appears far from calm.
His arm hang at his sides but his hands are clenching and unclenching into fists. His breathing is more rapid than one would think if he were truly relaxed, moving his chest like a giant bellow. When her eyes reach his face his eyes are as hard and unrelenting as his jaw line which sits tightly locked together.
With one last look over, Nyota nods to herself more than to him and walks over to him slowly. Spock watches her with that hard expression, not trusting himself to leave her alone if she were to touch him.
She takes his hands and immediately feels the strength of his disdain for the male that was outside her quarters. He feels responsible for his presence tonight, he had not claimed Nyota as he should with a stronger bond of marriage but he was at a lost as to what to do in lieu of it.
Not meeting his eyes, Nyota places his hands at her waist while she put hers at his shoulders. Turning her head, she silently offers herself neck for marking. She hears him swallow as he feels his want, approval and guilt at the action. " Nyota, you do not have to do-"
" I want you to. Please…" she says, quietly.
He huffs and pulls her closer, studying her stiff posture and poker face. " Look at me, K'diwa."
She tilts her head and meets his stare head on and parts her lips with a quick intake of breath. Spock's expression softens and he speaks just as gently. " This is not requirement."
" I want them to know that I am yours, this way…" she says with her eyes sliding over his mouth. His eyes fall shut and his grip at her waist tightens. Slowly but firmly, he pulls her up into her arms and brings her shoulder to his face. Her toes leave the floor as the air escapes her lungs at the first pinch of his teeth. She moans feebly into the heat of her room as he bruises his mouth against her skin. Her hands run over his neck and up his his hair as she brings her head to rest along his. " Please stay the night and hold me." she whispers, mussing his hair further with the current of her breath.
And did so for every night thereafter.