"Good lord, please talk to the poor boy!" Delaney exclaimed during dinner a few weeks later. "He's barely talking to his friends, there hasn't been a prank in weeks, and his hair isn't even shiny anymore! It's a tragedy!"

"He hasn't said a word to me or apologized about that night," I replied with a shrug. "I'm not talking to him until he either tells me he messed up or tells me he actually has feelings for me."

"Fine, I'll tell Potter that's what he has to do," Lily announced, pushing up from the table and walking over to the Marauders.

I flushed and tried to stop her, but she was too determined. She started talking to James, gesturing to Sirius and then down the table at me. I'd just looked away when I'm sure they looked at me, trying to hide my face.

"She's insufferable!" I cried to Delaney. "I didn't want her to tell him, I wanted him to figure it out on his own!"

"Maybe, but she just wants you to be happy. I've never seen her willingly talk to Potter," Mary exclaimed from across the table.

Mary and Alice didn't understand why I was suddenly so close to Lily, but I explained it to Delaney. She apologized profusely she wasn't there when I needed her and thanked Lily for being where she couldn't. The two of them ended up becoming closer because of it too, the three of us together most often nowadays.

When I got back from the prefects' bath a few weeks ago, I spilled everything to Delaney. She was also confused by Sirius' reaction. Finding him waiting outside the loo was such a surprise I didn't even register it until I was soaking in the warm water. What was he playing at?

"He's going to talk to you after dinner," Lily announced, sitting back in her spot between Alice and Mary. "You can thank me later for helping you."

I groaned before going back to my plate. I pushed the peas and carrots around, my appetite suddenly gone. I was too nervous to eat, I really didn't want to feel stupid again.

Lily flashed her eyes up to me and I saw questions behind them. "I'm okay, Lils. I'm just nervous."

Delaney squeezed my hand under the table reassuringly. "Do you want me to come with you?"

I shook my head, knowing that wouldn't work. If Sirius and I were going to work this out, we needed to talk alone. Dinner ended way too fast and my nerves started getting worse. I walked out with the girls and saw Sirius waiting for me just outside the doors of the Great Hall.

"Wish me luck," I laughed, squeezing Lily's shoulder before heading over to him. "Hi."

He ran a nervous hand through his hair, that I noticed was sort of lank and not shiny, before smiling at me. "I was thinking we could walk around the grounds and talk? That way we don't get interrupted."

I just nodded and followed him out the front doors, heading to the side with the Black Lake. It was dark already and the stars were shining bright. There hadn't been a clear night like this in a long time, it was nice.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. Then he started to explain himself, "Isadora and I aren't together. I wanted to be with you the night of the party, it was why James thought it pertinent to personally invite you."

I felt something in my chest loosen as I crossed my arms. "Oh, I figured you were looking for a shag or something. Then when I turned you down, you went to find her."

He moved in front of me and held my shoulders, stopping me and forcing me to look at him. "Merlin, no, that's not what I want at all! Well, maybe eventually, but that wasn't my goal that night. I wanted to talk to you and things got all messed up."

"Oh," I said lamely because I had no idea what else to say.

He was still standing in front of me, looking me fully in the eye. I felt my cheeks heating up and I bit my bottom lip nervously. We were little ways away from the lake in the shadow of the castle with the stars giving the grounds an ethereal glow. It felt intimate and romantic, making my heart pound unsurely.

"I moved in with James this summer, too," he told me suddenly, removing his hands from my shoulders to shove them into his pockets. "My parents are terrible."

I swallowed thickly, nervously fidgeting with the ends of my robe sleeves. "I can relate."

He smiled instead of smirking and I felt my stomach flip. "I figured when a Whitewall was put in Gryffindor."

"I could've said the same thing about a Black being placed there," I retorted, pushing my hair over my shoulder. "Good to know I'm not the only disgraceful pureblood at Hogwarts."

That made him laugh, making a smile of my own blossom on my lips. "For what it's worth, I much prefer this Sirius to the other one who plays with girls and is cruel."

"But my hair's usually better than this," he replied, flipping a couple lank strands toward me. "It's shinier and all around more perfect."

I snorted and started walking the rest of the way to the Lake. I sat down at the edge and extended my legs out straight in front of me. Then I laid back and looked up at the sky, watching the stars twinkle and sparkle above.

Sirius laid down beside me and pointed up to the brightest spot in the sky. "See that one? The really bright one to the left? That's my namesake because I shine brightest amongst my peers, too."

"Actually, Sirius is on the other side of the sky," I told him, gesturing to a separate star. Then I returned my gaze to the original spot and told him, "That's Mercury."

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and saw him outright blushing at his own ignorance. "Oh, that could be why I did so badly in Astronomy."

That made me start laughing until tears gathered in my eyes. "It sounded like you knew what you were talking about, fake it 'til you make it."

"Ah, it seems you've discovered my life motto," he told me, looking at me with his eyebrows raised.

"Shut up, you've got some of the highest marks in our year! I work my ass off and barely get what you get without trying!" I cried, pushing his shoulder.

He just laughed and flashed me a crooked smile that made my heart beat rapidly against my ribs. I'd never seen that smile before; it made my palms sweat and butterflies explode in my stomach. No, they were too big to be butterflies -he made dragons explode in my stomach and start breathing fire.

"I feel like I don't know anything about you and I want to," he told me a little while later.

I'd turned to lie flat on my back again, but I could feel his eyes still on me. "I'm not very interesting."

That was a lie, I just didn't want to talk about the 'interesting' parts of me. I'm painfully self-conscious, the last guy who kissed me left a huge scar on the side of my face, and my mother threw a bottle of whisky at me and literally broke my face. Then there was the point of my parents not wanting me; all those things would make him realize I'm a waste of his time.

"I don't think that's true, but there's no pressure," he lamented, looking back up at the stars instead of at me. "I have a little brother who still lives with my parents and I feel guilty I left him there sometimes."

A heavy silence enveloped us as I struggled to find something to say. When I came up blank, I just asked, "Why'd you tell me that?"

"Something about you makes me want to tell you all my secrets," he replied in an uncertain voice. "I can stop if I'm making you uncomfortable."

I rolled over onto my side and looked at him. "No! You can tell me anything and I'll listen."

I tucked my arm under my head and curled my body to get comfortable while I looked at Sirius. He turned to look at me, his face a bit reluctant. I knew I needed to tell him something equally as intimate to reassure him.

"For my entire life, my mother never told me she loved me and I only saw my father when he needed me to make him look good for the public," I told him timidly. "The only time they were ever proud of me was the worst night of my life."

That wasn't fair, but I couldn't tell him about Alexander Nott. For some wild reason, I didn't want him to know about the bad parts of me. I was afraid he'd lose interest in me if he knew about all my problems. There was also all the pain that came along with remembering…

I think he saw something behind my eyes because he didn't ask questions. "Regulus is the perfect, pureblood son. My mother must've been so relieved when she realized he was what she wanted because I know I wasn't."

I assumed Regulus was his brother and that made my heart ache for him. No matter how bad my life was, it seemed like his was just as bad in different ways. I was chewing my bottom lip nervously, twisting the fingers of my free hand in the grass by my head.

"I like talking to you," I told him. "I just don't like you ignoring me when things are hard because a lot of things in my life are hard."

"I'm sorry, that wasn't fair," he replied, reaching out to brush my hair out of my face and making me flinch a little. "Do you not want me to touch you? I'm sorry."

I let out a frustrated breath and rolled back over to back. "I'm not good with people I don't know being close to me."

I knew he probably thought I was just talking shit because I'd let him touch me the night of the party. Well, I'd taken a risk and let someone in only to get thrown to the wolves. I really didn't want to make that mistake again.

"We'll have to fix that, won't we?" he replied in a determined voice. "I want to be your friend, Poppy."

"I figure you deserve to know I'm not good at letting people be my friend either," I forced out as my throat felt like it was closing. "I push people away and fold in on myself."

He sat up and pulled his knees up, resting his arms on them. "I get that, there's a reason I only have three friends. Do you mind if I keep trying or is it too much?"

That made me laugh and toss an arm over my face as hysterical tears burned my eyes. "Merlin, you're persistent."

It was his turn to laugh that time. "You have no idea, love."

"Don't call me that," I said, sobering up and sitting up at once.

The entire night of the gala, Alexander kept calling me 'love' like I was his girlfriend or something. My mother called me that when she was threatening me without other people knowing. The word had a lot of baggage attached, almost as much as the action itself carried.

"Poppy, I'm sorry. I didn't know," Sirius told me desperately. "I'll never say it again, I promise."

I laughed humorlessly and looked over at him, my face wild I'm sure. "See? I told you it's too hard to be my friend. I'm a total basket case."

"You and I have more in common than you know, Poppy," he told me.

He stood up after that and offered me his hand, an innocent gesture I could refuse if I wanted. Instead, I took it in mine and allowed him to pull me to my feet. The crooked smile was back as he waited for me to let go, but I didn't.

I was once again taken by how rough his hands were. I laced my fingers through his and looked down at our hands. Then I took a breath and dropped it, heading back up to the castle with him following right behind me.

…

"You're just going to come back upstairs with a smile like that and not tell us what happened?" Delaney exclaimed.

"He just apologized and things are good now," I shrugged, heading to the bathroom to take off my makeup. "We're friends."

When they realized I wasn't going to disclose any more information, she let the topic drop. At least while we were around other people. She knew there were a lot of things I didn't talk about with people around and she figured this was one of those things. To a certain extent, it was I suppose, but some of the things he shared with me were secrets between him and I.

I showered quickly, laughing when I pulled pieces of grass from my hair. I'd never actually been alone with a boy and not been scared before. Sirius was intense and he made me nervous, but I didn't think he'd hurt me… intentionally.

When I got back to the dorm, the girls were all in bed doing various nightly rituals. Mary was applying a face mask, Alice was reading a parchment that Frank had sent via the owl sitting on the window's edge, and Lily was reading her Potions' textbook. Delaney, however, was waiting for me to come out of the bathroom.

I got dressed and crawled into my bed, watching Delaney get under the covers with me. She pulled my curtains tight and put a silencing charm around the bed. I was about to start talking when Lily shoved her way inside and sat at the end of the bed.

"Mary and Alice tucked in for the night so I came over," she told us like it was obvious. "I want to know about tonight, too."

I sighed and sat up, Delaney following my lead, before telling them about what happened. "We went out and laid by the Black Lake, watching the stars. Then we started talking about our childhoods and about how I'm really bad at letting people get close to me. We seriously connected to each other."

"I'm so happy for you!" Delaney cried, hugging me happily.

"I don't want to be the wet blanket, but don't forget how he acted when you turned him down," Lily told me. "I'm happy for you too, I just don't want you to get hurt again."

She was right and deep down I knew that, but I wanted to believe in him. "We talked about that actually and he apologized for it. I think he's like me when it comes to letting people in."

I could tell she was still a little reluctant but wanted to let me be happy. "I'll hex him if he hurts you again. That's a detention I'll serve happily."

That made me laugh as I moved forward to hug her. "Thank you for being here and being so fiercely loyal. I really appreciate it."

Once she and Delaney went back to their beds, I pulled the curtains tight around mine and felt a huge smile fall into place on my lips. If this worked out, I could see myself falling in love with Sirius Black. While I feared that, I was also excited to find someone who related to me on a level Delaney never could with her functional, loving family.

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