Of Fortitude and Temptation

PassiveObserver

Kakashi wasn't hiding.

No, he most positively wasn't. Because hiding implied that you were afraid, and Hatake Kakashi definitely wasn't afraid of one small, pink haired girl (though, granted, she could break his spine with just a pinky, but that was completely beside the point).

And taking precautionary measures from seeing, hearing, or otherwise having any contact at all with Sakura didn't really constitute as hiding, per se. Kakashi was nothing if not a meticulous man who always learned from his mistakes, after all. He was merely preventing any more slip ups on his part, and hopefully, if Sakura was wise, she wouldn't give him any reason to.

And for the better part of three months, things were going just perfectly (and by perfectly, Kakashi meant spending an unhealthy amount of time indoors with all nine padlocks latched, curtains drawn and surviving on whatever could be scraped off the sides of his cupboards). He hadn't seen hide or hair of the girl since the first week he'd started avoiding her. This almost suited him fine, since the girl in question was so fed up with his silence that she'd banged and punched his doors until he knew he'd be getting more suspicious looks from his neighbor than he usually got.

He remembered with no small amount of guilt that he hadn't opened the door, and hastily claimed to have come down with a severe case of pneumonia, in the hottest peak of July, no less.

It was vaguely gratifying to find that she hadn't sought him out afterwards, but underneath that… there was the smallest twinge of regret Kakashi couldn't quite account for. Because Sakura was merely a passing fancy, a result of being old and overworked. She was just an infinitesimal infatuation that would go away, if he avoided her long enough. But despite the long three months that passed, he couldn't quite manage to scrub her smiles from his mind, memories of her impassioned eyes committed to memory.

Kakashi hung his head dolefully, every bit the hangdog his ninken were.

It was hopeless.

Rubbing a hand over his tired face, he leaned against his counter, idly rubbing his chin while holding Icha Icha open, though not really reading the words blurring beneath his gaze.

What to do? Even Kakashi was tired of playing this game of hide and go seek with her (also, malnutrition was a factor), not to mention Sakura herself. Kakashi hadn't paused in his determination not to repeat his mistakes that he hadn't given due consideration to Sakura's feelings. How must she have felt to be pursued so arduously and then simply ignored for months on end?

Groaning self-deploringly, his guilt intensified until his shame forced him to hide his face in his hands.

He supposed that the only thing he could do now was to re-assimilate back into civilization, for one, and also apologize to Sakura for his misdemeanors. And as for his… infatuation, well hopefully it would fade in their platonic relationship – if even that could be recovered.

He supposed he was being very arrogant. There was no chance, perhaps not even the possibility Sakura would even deign to look his way after the way he'd acted, but Kakashi could dare to hope…

He could also dare to use his god given brains. Obviously winning Sakura back with a simple apology wouldn't cut it, and even if she did accept it, the fact that Kakashi knew he could have done more would never leave him alone.

As a friend or as a lover, Sakura deserved nothing but the best.

With sudden determination, Kakashi straightened abruptly, forming handsigns and leaving in a gust of leaves and smoke.

Sakura heaved a miserable sigh, burying her face in her arms and lying face down on the wooden surface of the table – in dire need of scrubbing, if she had anything to say.

"Forehead, will you please stop moping?" Ino snapped irritably, staring down her perfectly straight nose at the pink haired girl.

"Mmrgh." The girl in question replied, quite articulately.

Ino's eyes softened slightly in sympathy, as she propped her chin in her palm, still staring at her friend dryly, as she sipped a bit of sake. "Get up Forehead. It's nothing a little alcohol won't fix." She reassured, somewhat distractedly. The kunoichi shook Sakura's shoulders slightly, until she sat up, glaring at Ino blearily.

"That's exactly what you said twelve glasses ago, and that's part of the reason why I'm in this sorry state," Sakura retorted snappily, snatching the glass from Ino's hand anyway, and drinking it down.

Ino rolled her eyes. "You're melodramatic, as usual. So what if you haven't seen him in three weeks, Sakura? You're always mooning after guys who don't notice you." The busty kunoichi wasn't looking at Sakura; she was busy smiling flirtatiously at a chuunin who had just walked in the bar.

"Pig," Sakura hissed, positively glaring daggers. "He did notice me. I know for sure." She said firmly, crossing her arms at the sudden coquettish look Ino flashed her.

"Oh?" Ino smirked. "Why haven't I heard about this before? Do tell, Sakura." She teased slightly. She didn't let on that her attention was effectively captured, however. She would die before she let Forehead know that her love life was currently much more interesting than Ino's.

Sakura pressed her lips firmly together, concealing a mischievous smile. "I don't kiss and tell."

Ino gasped, and smacked a dainty hand onto the table, jarring drinks and sending an empty glass tumbling onto its side. "Forehead… don't tell me… you kissed Kakashi-sensei?" she screeched, near launching herself over the table to shake Sakura by her lapels.

The girl in question had a suspiciously tomato red face, and smacked her palm against her forehead, not sure if she was exasperated or trying to hide her face from prying eyes. "Ino, a little louder, please? I think the man himself hasn't heard you yet," she hissed, glaring daggers at Ino's smug smile.

"I had no idea you had a teacher fetish, Sakura." Ino smirked at her through half-lidded eyes. She ignored Sakura's indignant sputters and continued on, "but be thankful, Forehead. Now that I know how serious it is, I'm willing to help you."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Ino, your idea of 'helping' in the past was dressing me up in scraps of fabric masquerading as clothing. I think I'm better off just… leaving it alone." She replied desolately, sighing again. Kakashi obviously wasn't interested in her past her breasts and hips.

Ino's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, Sakura?"

"I mean, it's not like I'm in love with him. He just made me feel different, womanly when he saw me at the club." Sakura bit her lip. "That's never happened before." She said doubtfully, and Ino groaned inwardly. How was she supposed to tell Sakura that she actually looked pretty when she said that? Even Ino had to give credit where it was due.

"Sakura, you're gorgeous, alright? Guys would totally go for you! Like your hair and your eyes. It's totally exotic. Your looks aren't your problem, Forehead. It's how you utilize them!" Ino stared at Sakura squarely in the eyes, emphasizing each word by smacking a fist into her palm. "And I'm going to help you get the man whether or not it kills you—I mean me."

"Look, look, I know, okay? I agree with you. I just don't think we should be testing out your theory on Kakashi. It's too risky and humiliating! And I told you already, with Kakashi, it was just an experiment." Sakura lied, rather transparently. For a moment Ino took pity on her.

For a moment, Ino considered the wisdom of Sakura's words. It was true. She wouldn't feel any more confident putting the moves on Asuma-sensei. Especially since he was happily involved with a rather dangerous, ruby eyed kunoichi now, thought Ino.

"Fine," Ino groused, eying Sakura appraisingly. Inspiration dawned on Ino for a moment, before she quickly hid it from Sakura. It was obvious Forehead was lying about Kakashi, and it was equally obvious that despite her attraction to him, she simply wouldn't do anything about it. Then it was up to Ino to wear the pants in this relationship. There was nothing wrong with teaching Sakura how to be a woman – for God's sake, Forehead was stupid – while manipulating her into enticing Kakashi-sensei at the same time. And perhaps eventually, despite Sakura's hopelessness in seduction, and Kakashi-sensei's ridiculous anti-social mannerisms, chemistry would work its magic.

"Then the first thing you need to do is confront Kakashi-sensei," Ino said resolutely, holding a hand up against Sakura's interruptions "To tell him that you understand his mistake, and that you hope it won't damage your professional relationship. Tell him… hm. Tell him you hope that you can be friends still." Ino knew first hand the sexual tension that resulted from forced platonic relationships. That would make for some interesting developments.

Sakura nodded slowly, eyes wide in awe, her hands twitching as if she wanted to take notes. Ino smirked. Sakura was just too easy.

"That way, you both can move onto other conquests," Ino worded deliberately, waiting for Sakura's reaction.

Sakura paused. "Both of us?"

Ino stared at Sakura contemptuously. "Kakashi-sensei is a grown man. A handsome one, if Anko has anything to say about it, too. You don't think he's been celibate all these years have you? The man's going to move on." Ino smiled deviously as Sakura nodded, and shrugged her shoulders in a blasé motion that didn't quite work.

"Right. That doesn't matter to me." She paused, biting her lip in doubt again, ignoring the bundle of nerves that protested against Kakashi's… recreational activities. "So do I go and tell him now?"

Ino nearly stood up in alarm. "Gods no, Forehead. Just look at the state you're in. You're a total mess. You're going to tell him tomorrow, but before that, we're going to clean you up." Ino said, moving out of the booth and dragging Sakura up by the arm.

"I don't see why I have to look nice to tell him I just want to be friends…" Sakura said suspiciously.

"Just shut up and listen to the master, Forehead."

Genma looked at the pitiful state Kakashi was in and shook his head.

"You, my friend, are now officially, a pansy." Genma stated baldly. Seeing no visible reaction from his companion, he continued. "She's got you absolutely wrapped around her little pinky."

At this point, Kakashi had already told his entire story to Genma, if the mass amount of empty sake bottles in front of them were any indication. It wasn't easy, getting the story out of such a reclusive man, but Genma wasn't a ninja for nothing ("I swear to god, man, I'll show Anko that picture!"). Eventually, after much coaxing, Kakashi's plight tumbled from his inebriated mouth in nearly incomprehensible slurs and over exaggerations. Genma looked his friend over once more, an ANBU captain, the Copy Nin, now reduced to this.

Pathetic.

"Genma," Kakashi groaned miserably, "Do you realize the severity of what I've done? Years of platonic friendship gone because of this. My precious student… lost."

"Dear lord, you sound like Gai. Stop it. And anyway, so what if you had a boner for the girl? I bet every teacher has for their students, once or twice in their lifetimes." Genma shrugged nonchalantly, apparently not thinking anything of it.

"No Genma, I think that's just you."

The senbon wielding lecher merely shrugged. "So, what do you want to do about it?"

Kakashi seemed to contemplate this question very seriously indeed. "Well, I suppose I could defect from Konoha, shave my head and escape to Rain country, where I would make an impoverished living as a cabbage peddler, but at least Sakura would never find me." A silly notion, of course, but Kakashi was quickly running out of ideas, where Sakura was concerned. His 'great' plan to apologize to her was dissolved, shredded and tromped on mentally, in many scenarios. He'd thought about giving her a rose, but that didn't encourage friendly relationships. And it was either that, or buying her a hamster, but he didn't really trust Pakkun not to get hungry and curious while he left it at home.

He wondered what use there was, being officially declared a genius, having accomplished fifty two solo S-class missions and being marked in every Bingo book, if he couldn't even come up with a plan to apologize to a miniscule pink haired girl.

Pathetic, indeed.

"Okay, listen, you know how girls like honesty or whatever?" Genma said dismissively, clearly stating how he felt about women and their 'honesty'. "Just tell her how you really feel about this platonic relationship crap. Women are understanding about that kind of stuff."

"This is Sakura, though." Kakashi said, and though the statement was simple, it was clearly a point. "She can break my spine with a flick."

Genma nodded solemnly, conceding to Kakashi's point. "Yes, but consider the fact that you've been ignoring her for three weeks and she still hasn't killed you. All it means is you need to grow some balls and talk to her. She's young, impressionable. Just don't act human."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, don't act like you're on her level, be cool and stoic. Like I said, she's young. Acting like that will put distance between the two of you."

"Distance isn't what I want, not like that. I don't want her to hate me." Kakashi said, in a rare display of candidacy. The silliness was gone from his eyes, replaced by a seriousness, set in hard, determined stone.

Genma's face paled. Because that was when he knew Kakashi was serious. This wasn't a mid-life crisis, like Genma had initially thought, this wasn't just the infatuation of a silly man to a silly girl. With a sinking feeling, he knew he had to take this seriously now, if how many times Kakashi had saved his ass was any indication, it was the least he owed him.

"Even so, don't you think things are moving a bit fast? She's fourteen years younger than you, and she felt your penis is the first two days of your little epiphany." Genma said nakedly, ignoring Kakashi's flinch, and the residual kicked puppy dog look that guilted him slightly.

"I didn't say that I wanted a relationship at all, Genma. I don't. She's just a girl, and I'm an old man. I'm just saying I don't want her to hate me for being so cold after everything that's happened." Order seemed to be re-established, now. His mask was firmly in place and his eyes cool and guarded. Which was the clearest pointer in the fact that he was lying, of course.

"Hm," Genma hummed doubtfully, as he watched his friend get up and leave a couple of bills on the table – the fact that he didn't skip out on the bill was probably his way of saying thank you.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow," he decided, ignoring the fact that Genma was already pulling a waitress into Kakashi's vacant spot.

"Whatever."

This was probably a bad idea, and Sakura definitely knew enough about bad ideas to know that she was currently involved in one.

"Pig, this is a dress."

"Miraculous, Forehead. And here I thought you knew nothing about fashion." There was an uncompromising glint in Ino's eyes that warned Sakura not to argue. In a subdued manner, she sighed and snatched the dress from Ino's hands and started to peel off her clothes. Ino smiled in satisfaction and went looking for accessories.

"It's like you're setting me up for a date." Sakura said snippily, while pulling the white fabric over her head.

"That's ridiculous," Ino said loudly, laughing it off. "Well, at least not with Kakashi-sensei. After this, we're going to take you boy-watching. See what types appeal to you and see who notices you in return." Ino told her, and when she spun around with a nice pair of earrings for Sakura, Ino smiled appraisingly.

"See, Forehead? Even girls like you manage to look half-way decent." In truth, however, Sakura looked lovely. Ino grinned with pride as she pushed Sakura in front of a full-length mirror. "See? Gorgeous."

It was true, Sakura realized, swaying this way and that. The dress wasn't something gaudy, and it wasn't too much. It was a simple summer dress, with slightly frilly spaghetti straps and a luxurious red ribbon that ran just underneath her bust, stark against the white material. Sakura smiled at Ino through her reflection. "You're right. It's beautiful. Thank you." She gave her friend a quick hug, and they giggled.

"Anyway," Ino said, absently handing Sakura the earrings "you should you talk to him now. And if he mentions your attire, tell him you're meeting someone after."

Sakura nodded obediently. "I'll meet at Satsuki's after I'm done, okay?" and she waved good bye, walking out the door.

Which was exactly when her heart started beating erratically. What would she tell him, now that Ino wasn't there to guide her? Perhaps it wasn't too late to establish radio command, so Ino could walk her through every little word?

Sakura took a deep breath.

Everything would be okay. In the end, Kakashi was the same man who taught her, eight years ago, the same man who'd blocked a kunai with the back of his hand for her, the same man who picked her up in his arms during the end of the chuunin exams.

Same man, same smile.

She walked the rest of the way down the stairs, trying to ignore her erratic, beating heart and counting to ten inside her head.

Kakashi couldn't really say he was looking forward to this morning. This was why he made it a point to sleep extra late, way into the afternoon, actually. If it meant he could delay confronting Sakura, it wasn't too much trouble sleeping for days on end, actually.

But then his dogs showed up. He didn't notice the noise until they'd somehow opened the door to his bedroom, and Bull climbed onto the bed and near suffocated him.

That was when he knew he had to get up, since they were all complaining about how he never fed them, and such.

He was in the midst of ushering them into the bathroom ("You guys stink.") ("Whose fault is that?") when he heard an almost timid knock at his front door. Kakashi didn't move, suspecting who it was, and when there was continued silence on his part, the knock grew stronger, as if Sakura was physically gathering resolve.

Kakashi smiled. She was too transparent, too sweet, and he knew her all too well.

The copy-nin made it to the door, hesitating slightly before he opened it, intending to appear suave and unaffected, though the sight of her had him struggling to keep his mouth closed instead. Thank heavens for his mask. She was beautiful, all pale, and small, and bare shoulders.

"Hi Sensei," She said quite simply, and he saw her frown at her choice of words. She apparently thought that they didn't quite fit.

"Sakura," he replied, inclining his head in a nod, as he gestured her into his apartment. She smiled tightly, while Kakashi gave no clear indication of his feelings, but he shut his door a bit too loudly, and his posture was uncharacteristically straight backed. Neither detail went unnoticed by Sakura, but she wasn't too sure what to make of it.

"Ahem," she coughed politely. "Thank you for inviting me in, I—"

"Sakura?" both Kakashi and Sakura turned to the direction of the voice, and they found one small ninken standing at the door of the bathroom.

Pakkun. Curse him, Kakashi thought.

"Hey everyone, it's Sakura!" and there came an excited chorus from within the bathroom. A stampede of dogs squeezed themselves out of the doorway and came running at Sakura's ankles jumping and panting for her attention. Sakura smiled delightedly, kneeling down to pat and scratch furry heads.

"You guys didn't come for dog biscuits last Friday." She said.

Pakkun gave an approximation of a shrug. "We were needed for a mission with Kakashi."

Ah, Kakashi thought. So this was why they weren't coming around too often, demanding food. Sakura was feeding them. Though Kakashi wasn't sure what to think of the fact that they seemed to clamor for her attention more than his. Probably had something to do with his laziness, though.

Pakkun allowed himself to be picked up by Sakura, as she scratched his tummy with a smile. The ninken locked eyes with Kakashi and seemed to smile smugly while Kakashi grew increasingly annoyed. He was standing here awkwardly while his dogs received all the attention? He didn't think so.

"Ahem," Kakashi cleared his throat as every pair of doggy eyes turned his way. "Well, you all had better get rested up somewhere else, since we're going to be doing some ninken training bright and early tomorrow." A sadistic crinkly eyed smile was their cue to lick Sakura goodbye and trudge into his bedroom, with hanged heads.

"If I find any chewed pillows, I'm giving you all away to Gai." He threatened still, and the last dog turned around to push the bedroom door shut.

Sakura stared at him. From the calculating looks in her eyes, she was probably wondering whether or not to report him for animal cruelty.

Hastily, Kakshi sought to change her train of thought. His hand met her back and she stared up at him with wide eyes, he pushed her slightly towards the counter. "Would you like anything to drink?" he questioned formally. He knew before his recent infatuation, he would have told her to help herself to whatever was in his fridge.

Will you please settle down, he snapped at himself irritably. You're not a wet-behind-the-ears school boy.

"I have…" He opened his fridge to view what was inside before realizing his mistake. "… stale milk." He finished lamely and looked at her morosely over the top of the fridge.

Sakura snorted, feeling a bit more comfortable at the fact that he was just as nervous as she was. "Don't bother, Kakashi-sensei. I didn't come here expecting much hospitality wise." She said.

And suddenly, it was easier to breathe for the both of them. Things were almost back to normal.

"But… we do need to talk." She added seriously, and unconsciously, they both shifted in their seats, meeting each other's eyes grimly.

They both opened their mouths to begin, before shutting them, and eying each other cagily. Kakashi laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "You go first," he said, cringing at how much this seemed like a bad romantic comedy. This wasn't a romantic comedy. Where was there ever a romantic comedy where an anti-social battle scared man unwittingly allowed himself to be lured into such a compromising situation with their student?

Ex-student, came a tantalizing whisper, which he ignored.

Sakura inhaled sharply. "Look, I haven't seen you in three weeks. You were avoiding me. It was stupid and incredibly childish," she said, pinning him with a hard look, which he internally shrunk away from. "But, in the end, it's understandable, why you acted like you did. Not the best decision, but understandable. It doesn't stop it from hurting though."

Kakashi nearly leapt at his chance at redemption, "I know Sakura, and I'm so sorry. I have no idea what I was thinking, or that I was thinking at all. I'm just… unused to situations where I don't know what I'm doing." He said finally.

Sakura stared, not sure whether to risk a smile. Because there it was, the truth out in the open, both of their vulnerabilities. And that meant something to Sakura. Secrets weren't something that shinobi readily gave.

They were jumped slightly when they realized they were staring at each other and smiling like idiots.

"So, I forgive your little slip, and we'll go back to being friends, alright?" she said, mock haughtily.

Kakashi quickly played along. "Too right. You don't have to worry about any more mistakes of that nature from me in the future. I don't know what I was thinking. It's not like I prefer short A-cup girls." A lie of course, but it was worth it to see her bristle at him.

"And it's not like I prefer chronically late, bad-postured, fish-eyed porn reading men!" she snapped back, with her hands on her hips.

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Please, Sakura. If I wanted you, I would have undressed you at least three weeks ago."

"Well, good! Because I certainly do not find you attractive," she said snootily, trying to avert her eyes from the fact that the black shirt he wore at home bulged in all the right places.

"Which works out just swell for me, because you're not my type at all." He shot back, tearing his eyes away from her bare calves.

So they had established the fact that there was nothing between them but friendship… now if Kakashi could only convince his hands to stop trying to reach out and touch her, things would be perfect.

Breaking gazes with him, she stood up, with her dainty little nose in the air, sniffing. "Well, sensei, now that we've sorted that out…" the mockery slid from her tone into a warm, genuine smile. "… we're friends."

Kakashi nodded, hiding his own smile beneath a mask that he was sure Sakura could see anyway. He reached out to ruffle her hair. "Sure, Sakura. I'll see you around."

Sakura nodded contemplatively. "Sooner than you think actually. Next week is Sasuke's birthday. You're coming, of course?" she asked, as Kakashi stiffened imperceptivity. Now why would he submit himself to a night of going somewhere public and crowded, for an ungrateful psychotic boy? Who happened to have a growing interest in Sakura, at that? Though he really didn't want to go, he also saw the merits in… watching out for Sakura, while she was attending Sasuke's little get together.

"I'm appalled you even have to ask." He said duplicitously, and opened the door for her as she was slipping on her shoes. Her dainty, high heeled shoes. Which was unusual for Sakura. The girl normally hated to wear dresses.

"Besides, where are you going dressed like that?" he asked, raking a covert gaze along her body when she bent down to fix a strap of her shoe.

Sakura inhaled slightly, recalling Ino's words. "I'm just going out to meet someone." She said finally, straightening with a smile.

If she noticed his usual crinkly eyed smile was a bit tight, she said nothing as she left, him waving after her.

His hand was still knuckle-white on the doorknob long after she left.

Author's note: Hm... I hope people are still reading this story. xD Yes... It took a long while to update, but it is long and has some Kakashi & Sakura interaction. Also, I'm aware that this story is a bit... odd. As in some places aren't quite congruent. I notice, and I'm trying to correct them, just not seamlessly. ;D Please, feel free to criticize and review!