Hello! Long time no see ^^ I am back and I am almost finished with writing the fic, so for the delay (because of my vacation) here are two chapters instead of one! So, don't forget to click the next chapter.

Reviews fuel me, so don't hesitate to leave those behind either c:

Disclaimer: nah man, i don't own BSD, sadly enough.

And a big thank you and hug to dearest Kimera for always helping me plot the chapters and proofread them for me!

Enjoy!

Chapter 4:

"I have to leave," was the announcement Ango made then. He was looking at his phone, the light of the screen reflecting on his glasses.

"Now?" Odasaku asked confused. He gave Dazai back his phone while the two stared at their friend, waiting for an explanation.

"Yes, it's urgent. I'm sorry it has to be now, especially for you Dazai. I'll see you two at school tomorrow." With that he took his coat and disappeared, without further explanation or even so much as a glance.

"Well then." Dazai was about to tell them what the case really was, so he wondered what was so 'urgent' he had to leave them now.

After rubbing the bridge of his nose, Odasaku made a gesture with his hand, signaling he had no idea either. "Let's… sit down, shall we?" Odasaku wasn't satisfied with Dazai's explanation, was he?

Part of Dazai hoped he wouldn't have to say anything further about the matter, Ango's leave having been enough of a distraction to end the conversation, but clearly, he was hoping for too much.

"Now tell me, what's going on?" Odasaku asked after they sat down on the couch, Dazai resting his head on the back and looking upwards at the ceiling, clearly troubled.

"Do I have to?"

"No, but it would be appreciated."

"Right, can't say nothing now." He was obliged to tell him either way. He couldn't leave matters explained only half and vaguely. "I… well, Chuuya and I started dating." Oh, how odd that sounded on his tongue. It was the first time he admitted it to someone else, but it was true, wasn't it? They were a couple, Chuuya was his boyfriend. It was the first time Dazai thought it could be fun to accept Chuuya's confession and behave like a couple. He didn't expect to develop feelings for a guy, for Chuuya nonetheless.

A soft chuckle escaped Odasaku's lips before he apologized for laughing after seeing Dazai's confused expression. "I'm sorry, it's just that I've been hearing so many rumors from students. Apparently, and especially the girls, the students were simply waiting for you two to hook up. Let's face it Dazai, you two don't exactly behave like the average male best friends behave, do you now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that, normally, you don't really expect a guy zip up your jacket because he's worried you'll catch a cold. That kind of thing." After Dazai still didn't get it and shot Odasaku another confused glance, the older man sighed and gave an example. "Can you imagine Ango zipping up my jacket out of pure concern?"

Dazai snorted. "He'd scold you, but he wouldn't come anywhere near you."

"Exactly. You and Chuuya have been acting suspicious like that all the time. Give it up, Dazai, you can't hide it from the watchful students. Teenagers are perceptive, I tell you."

"Hm? How so? Aren't they self-centered and egoistic as adults like to call them?"

"You mean 'us' not 'them', you're still a teenager, despite your age. I mean that, students have a way of knowing other's weaknesses. All the teachers know it and are watchful of it, I tell you. Students have a way of pointing out what makes us think we're weaker. Our insecurities, I mean."

"But I'm not insecure," Dazai said.

"No, maybe you are not, but you are afraid of admitting to these feelings, aren't you?"

Dazai shook his head, not wanting to come anywhere near that thought. "Chuuya made me promise not to tell anyone, so I accepted. I thought it would make school life a bit more fun." Well, this wasn't really the truth. Odasaku was spot on, but Dazai didn't want to think about that. He had enough to deal with in his miserable life already. So, it was time to change the subject, a little bit anyway.

"The problem now is, we didn't want Mori-san or Kouyou-neesan to find out. I don't want Mori-san to find out about it because he already controls everything. Even me living in this apartment is all thanks to him. I couldn't have paid for it even if I wanted to, well maybe I could, but I'm too lazy to actually work besides school." And he was too often hospitalized for anyone to want to hire him.

"What do you mean by 'control', like, owning everything you have or in a different way?" He rested his elbows on his knees, leaning forward a little so he could face Dazai, who was trying his hardest to avoid eye contact.

"I mean that, I have to abide by his wishes, his commands, whatever he says is law. That kind of thing." If he listened to Mori everything was fine. Dazai was used to it, because he came from a household where similar rules were in order. He was certain Mori had taken advantage of the way Dazai thought. He only wanted to be away from his father. Mori didn't hurt him, not physically, so he thought that was better, but after having finished middle school he wanted to be away from Mori and his mind control. Not to mention, that man was an outright creep.

"And now you're afraid he'll take Chuuya away from you?"

"Yeah."

"What can he do though?"

"I don't know. That man can get his hands on anything he wants. He'll probably tell me things like marrying Chuuya wouldn't be possible anyway because of the law and that gays are being frowned upon. That I have no future with him at all because it's only high school. That kind of thing. But I don't care about the future. I don't care about what happens then."

"You just want to be with Chuuya now, in the present."

Dazai grunted, agreeing.

"I know better than to question your suspicions, since they are always terrifyingly accurate and you know Mori much better than I do, but are you certain it's about your relationship with Chuuya?"

"Yes." Dazai's predictions always came true, was the saying. Well, he really was perceptive that way. Whatever he predicted became reality, so he was certain Mori had found out about Chuuya. And if the entire school had their suspicions of their relationship anyway, then how hard could it really have been for Mori to find out about him and Chuuya?

"Well, what can you do other than wait and attend the dinner? You can't keep avoiding him, Dazai, as much as I'd like you to anyway."

"The worst is, he always gets away with everything. He's rich and a politician with influence. Famous for his work as a doctor, so Child Services would never even have begun to suspect anything going on in that household." He felt Odasaku's watchful glare, meaning the man had his opinion ready, but apparently, the teacher decided to keep quiet, which was probably better anyway. Anything Dazai spilled about the truth in Mori's household could be used against him, not by Odasaku, but they did say walls have ears, right?

A few weeks after he was adopted by Mori, he read a book about psychology. There was a part in it that explained how familial relationships worked. Mori wanted Dazai to understand 'humans' because Dazai failed to do so back then. He had no idea what emotions to show since he always shut them down and ignored them. So, he had to learn everything from the start and Mori thought literature was a good way to begin. Well, now Dazai knew Mori wasn't exactly a normal human being either.

In that book, he read about the comfort a parent showed. In other words, physical contact was of the utmost importance between parent and child, especially when the child was still a baby. He never received that kind of 'contact' and he didn't want it either, not from his father or Mori. But he did remember the rare moments he got to visit his biological mother in the hospital. The few times he saw her as a child, were the times she did show him her 'love' by stroking his hair, smiling at him and squeezing in his hand reassuringly. However, Dazai never recognized those gestures. He didn't think of them as worrying or showing love. He thought it was what a mother was supposed to do, so he took it for granted. Only then, after he read the book, he realized what he had lost by running away from his father. He'd lost his mother, who was the one person who did show him genuine love. It made him feel guilty and he knew Mori would never show these kind of gestures, not out of good will anyway.

He'd never get to experience that kind of familial love from a parent again.

"Hey," Odasaku spoke up, ruffling Dazai's hair. "It's late and I see you're tired." He wasn't tired, simply lost in thoughts, but he suspected Odasaku knew that, seeking a reason to leave him be, just as Dazai really wanted. He didn't like talking much about his home. It was too… well… personal.

However, the ruffling did throw him off guard, Dazai blinking and staring at Odasaku for a good moment before the older man chuckled and patted his shoulder. "Well, I'll see you at school tomorrow. Don't forget to set your alarm."

Dazai managed to nod, his thoughts scattered and lost while Odasaku made his leave.