HOW'D YOU GET ME IN THIS POSITION, AGAIN?!
hospital:
"Hey! Are you busy tonight?" I say to him while slightly running up to him and planting a kiss on his lips.
"Mhm, no why?" He asks.
"Because I rocked my lap chole, I'm gonna cook you dinner tonight." I say with a grin on my face before turning to walk off.
All day, while working, I couldn't stop thinking about how happy I was because Mark was back in my life. I guess it was it was kind of obvious cause so many people stopped me in the halls to ask what I was so happy about.
"Hey Lexie." I hear April's voice while standing at the nurses' station.
"Hey April." I reply with a huge smile on my face, not being able to get rid of it.
"Why so happy?" She asks with a slight smile.
"Oh, I just have a wonderful man in my life." I reply thinking about Mark.
"I heard about that. Congrats! I'm glad you're happy. You deserve to be happy." She then leaves and soon, after writing a few things in a chart, I head off to a patient's room.
Mark's apartment after work:
"So, I'm putting in tarragon. Not that I have any idea what tarragon tastes like, but when people say "tarragon" it makes it seem like they know what they're doing." I start rambling on to Mark while standing in the kitchen cooking his dinner.
"I mean, basil can't do that. Anyone can throw some basil around in the kitchen." I look over at Mark and he looks like he's a little nervous. Suddenly, right as I taste my food, he says,
"Callie's pregnant." I almost choke a little as I place the cooking spoon down.
"Oh my god. That's great! She loves babies." I turn to look at Mark.
"Did they do a turkey baster thing? " I asked, kind of glad to know they had found the perfect sperm donor and would end up having a family after all.
"Wait…" It suddenly hit me,
"But if Arizona just got back and…" I began thinking out loud,
"Was this before they broke up?" I grabbed two plates and placed them onto the counter before looking back up at Mark waiting for an answer; he just looked at me and that's when I realized why he was telling me.
"I saw the heartbeat today." He began saying,
"This is my kid. This is a part of me." I stood there in disbelief. Callie DID find a sperm donor, but it was my boyfriend!
"How the hell did you get me in this position, TWICE?!" I slammed my hand on the counter. I found my way around the counter, grabbed my jacket and yelled,
"Unbelievable!" As I headed to the door I said again,
"You're UNBELIEVABLE!" I opened the door and left without saying another word. I wasn't upset, I was FURIOUS! And maybe a little shocked. How could he tell me he loves me, when I'm always left in the dark? Practically getting forced into becoming a grandmother is one thing, but now telling me he got some other girl pregnant, yet again, and still telling me he's in love with me. I just couldn't believe it. I ended up going home and despite the fact I had told myself I wouldn't cry over this; I ended up crying for hours. I was so in love with Mark, but his actions made me question whether he loved me back or not.
A few weeks later, things were still awkward between us. Mark had taken time to focus on Callie and the baby while I focused on my work and trying to stay happy.
"C'mon Lexie! You've been in there for a long time, are you okay?" I hear April say as the knocks on the bathroom door repeatedly.
"I have to pee so badddd!" She whines while jiggling the doorknob. I slowly slide the door open and walk out looking like a zombie. April glances at me slightly confused before she dashes in and shuts the door. I take a deep breath as I get dressed and then head to work.
"You look like crap." Alex points out without caring about people's feelings; just like he always does.
"Yeah, don't you always look like that?" I retort, but before I can say more I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
"Seriously, maybe you should go home." He tells me, but I shake my head and reopen my eyes.
"I'm fine. Just…" I began saying, but quickly stopped as I noticed Mark approaching us.
"Oh crap!" I say,
"I'm gonna be sick." Alex raises an eyebrow,
"Dude, if you puke, puke the other way." He says heartlessly before walking off.
"Hey Lexie, is everything okay?" I hear April's high-pitched voice. At that moment, I noticed Mark looking at me; we made like one second of eye-contact before I ran to a garbage can and threw up.
"Whoa!" I hear April as she quickly walks up to me and helps hold my hair up; I continue to throw up. Finally, when I'm done, I take a deep breath and look at April.
"Thanks…" I softly say before placing a hand on my chest as if trying to catch my breath.
"You need to lie down." She tells me as she tries to guide me to an on-call room.
"Yeah, maybe you're right." I tell her as I open the door, walk in, and lie on the bed.
"I'm gonna get you some water, if you need anything else, just call me." She says as she quickly leaves the room. When I thought I, finally, had some peace and quiet, I dig into my coat pocket and take something out. But before I could look at it, the door opens and I quickly shove it back into my pocket.
"Lex…" I look up and see its Mark instead of April. I let out a soft groan as I roll onto my side so I'm facing the wall.
"Are you okay?" He asks, but I didn't reply.
"I get that you're still mad at me, but I just need to know you're okay. I saw you throwing up. Are you sick? Do you need anything?" God, I hated when he was caring, it made it SO much harder for me to hate him.
"I'm fine." I mumble, slightly lying. I feel his weight on the bed as he sits down at the corner.
"Lex, please talk to me." He softly says. I roll back onto my back and look at him.
"What? What is there to talk about?" I slightly scold him.
"I said I was fine, so you can go." I quickly added, but part of me just wanted him to stay with me…no, EVERY part of me wanted him to stay.
"Okay…" He softly said as he got up, but before he could leave I blurted out,
"I'm pregnant." That got him to stop, turn around, and just look at me.
"You're…" He began saying.
"Pregnant." I finished his sentence for him.
"Are you sure?" He asked before sitting down onto the bed. I sat up so now we could see eye-to-eye, dug into my coat pocket, and handed him the pregnancy test.
"Look for yourself if you think I'm lying." Mark took it, looked at it, and let out a happy sigh.
"Lex, this is great…it's great, right?" He slowly put the test down onto the table and looked at me; a smile slowly formed across his mouth.
"We can start our family." Mark leaned close to me and cupped my cheeks.
"We're gonna have a baby, Lex." He said happily, but before he said anymore, I looked away.
"Except I still don't want a kid. I still don't wanna get married now…" I softly say.
"Oh. So, you're gonna get an abortion?" Mark softly asks while pulling himself away from me.
"No!" I say firmly.
"I just…I don't know what I'm gonna do." I let out a heavy sigh.
"You're already dealing with Callie. She's your family. You, Callie, Arizona, and that unborn baby. I'm just the woman who…" I stopped myself because I could feel tears coming.
"No! Don't you dare say that." Mark says firmly.
"Lex, we can do this. Callie may be pregnant, but I don't love her. I love you." He suddenly says which causes my heartbeat to race quickly.
"If you love me, why did you sleep with her?" Now the tears were flowing down my face. Mark wiped the tears away and kissed my cheek softly.
"I made a mistake Lex. I've made so many mistakes, but I know that no matter how many mistakes I've made, you're always the one that's on my mind. I can't stop thinking about you, no matter how hard I try to move on. Nothing is working; I'm so in love with you and nothing will ever make me stop loving you." I look up at him and this time we make longer eye-contact.
"I love you Lexie Grey and I don't want anyone else, but you." I let out a soft gasp and before I even get the chance to tell him what's on my mind, he leans in and kisses me; long and passionately. Suddenly all my sadness, all my anger, all my worries just disappear. Something about his kisses just drove me CRAZY! Those kisses were magical and always seemed to heal me.
"Callie may be having my kid too, but you and I; we can start a real family. Callie has Arizona and I don't know how many times I'll get to actually see that kid, but you and I…we can be together forever. We can be happy together, Lex." I shook my head,
"I'll keep the kid, but I don't wanna marry you just because I'm pregnant. Don't just say those things just because I'm carrying our kid." Mark looked at me a bit in disbelief.
"You think I'm saying this because you're pregnant? I've always loved you , Lex."
"So out of all times, you decide to tell me AFTER I tell you I'm pregnant?" Mark looks down feeling a bit ashamed.
"Y-Yeah. Maybe it's not the best time, but I really do love you. It breaks my heart every time you tell me you don't wanna love me. Or when you break up with me or tell another man you love them. I practically die each time."
"I love you too, Mark. I'm always gonna love you, but I'm still not ready to do any of this."
"I'm not either." Mark quickly says,
"I've never been committed to one woman before. I'm scared as well, but when I look at you and think about us spending our lives together; suddenly those fears go away." I smile a bit after hearing Mark say this.
"Maybe…" I softly say.
"Maybe the marriage should wait, but that's not me saying no." I tell him, which reassured him.
"Just don't get too obsessed with this. I'm still gonna be an incubator to our kid." Mark suddenly had this huge grin on his face.
"Our kid…" He whispered.
"I like the sound of that… Our kid." He said again before placing his hand onto my belly; startling me a bit.
"We're going to be so happy, Lex. I promise you." He looked up at me and kissed me with that magical kiss of his; sending chills down my body.