"…That never happened."

"Agreed."

Thirty minutes ago, Tsuna rushed towards where he heard Kyoko's cry for help, with Reborn at his heels. He was led to the nearby park. When he got there, however, he blanched at the scene before him. This was definitely not what he had been expecting.

While Kyoko looked like she would've been in danger if she was alone, she wasn't. While she was clutching an orange tabby cat in one arm and filming the scene with her cell phone with her other arm, someone that superficially resembled Sailor V was beating up a gathering of thugs, throwing punches and kicks with expertise while yelling, "EXTREEEMEE," every couple of hits. For some unknown reason, there was a gray cat on the fighter's shoulder, somehow managing to stay on despite the blonde's wild movements.

While the Sailor V cosplayer's outfit and hair looked spot on, unfortunately for Tsuna, their body was not: the Sailor V lookalike was male. And buff. And had hairy legs. And had a short skirt and panties that didn't properly hold nor cover his privates. So every time the crossdresser did a high kick…

Needless to say, Tsuna was not happy with the sight before his eyes.

While Tsuna had been distracted by this spectacle, the last of the thugs, warily backing away from the Sailor V impersonator, noticed him standing there frozen in shock. The thug rushed towards him. Surprised and scared, Tsuna let out a high pitched scream.

"HIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Like usual, Tsuna was very loud. Unlike usual, however, he was loud enough to cause damage to his surroundings. The thug, due to Tsuna's cry of terror, dropped to the floor and curled up, clutching his ears and whimpering in pain. Shards of glass scattered, and the streetlights near them all went out.

"Not bad, dame-Tsuna," Reborn said approvingly.

Kyoko and the hairy Sailor V looked over at him. Kyoko squinted, furrowing her brows, before exclaiming, "Tsuna-kun?!" She rushed over towards Tsuna, cat and cell phone still in hand. Ryohei trailed after her. "Why are you dressed like nii-chan? Are you a fan of his? Oooh, you look so cute in that sailor outfit!" she squealed. "Ahh, umm -"

"Is that you, Reborn?" the gray cat cradled in Kyoko's arms asked, interrupting Tsuna's attempts at explaining himself. "Oh, Colonello, Lal, is this your charge?" Reborn asked. "Yes, this is Ryohei. He's Sailor V," the gray cat explained.

"Wait. What do you mean he's Sailor V?! Isn't he just cosplaying as her?" "No, I am EXTREMELY Sailor V, Defender of Love and Beauty," Ryohei explained enthusiastically. Tsuna shriveled up a little on the inside from the knowledge that one of favorite video game heroines was not actually a heroine.

"Are you my fan? Is that why you're dressed up EXTREMELY like me?" Ryohei asked Tsuna. "Ahh, no," Tsuna responded, "I'm Sailor Moon, apparently… Defender of… umm…" "Love and Justice, dame-Tsuna," Reborn reminded him. "Yeah, uhh, Love and Justice. Are you looking for the Princess too?" Tsuna asked Ryohei. "Yes!" Ryohei exclaimed enthusiastically. "I am EXTREMELY looking for the Princess.

"Since we'll be working together, you can call me onii-san," Ryohei said. "This is going to be EXTREMELY great. Just then, a strong breeze blew by, flipping both Ryohei and Tsuna's skirts up in the air. While Tsuna accidentally flashed everyone his lacy panties, Ryohei flashed everyone considerably more; due to his vigorous exercise earlier, the panties had been displaced even further to the side and was covering up nothing. Even Kyoko looked less enthused from seeing her brother so exposed. Tsuna squeaked in surprise, while the cats all let out deep sighs.

Meanwhile, a passerby, attracted to the scene by Tsuna's scream earlier, stayed hidden behind a tree and watched the group with great interest. They seemed to be mentally taking notes on the spectacle they were witnessing.

A/N: Wow, I'm actually alive guys.

For some reason, this is a chapter that refused to be written. I had half of it written like two or three different times before scrapping it, because I didn't like it. Then, I just went screw it, stopped giving any shits, and powered thru it, making it more ridiculous than I'd planned. While I'm finally happy with chapter, I kind of screwed up my future plans plot-wise, so I need to replot a lot of stuff. Whoops? X.X