So Predictable
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."
-Mother Teresa
Chapter 3: While You Were Sleeping
Beth Bennet grinned at Jane from over the cusp of her yogurt container. "So how was the date?"
Jane scowled back at her and slammed the refrigerator in their break room angrily, unable to find her own lunch. "I think Lydia stole my lunch again," she grumbled, pushing her curly blond hair out of her eyes and falling heavily into the chair beside Beth's. "Today has been absolutely miserable."
Beth winced for her best friend's sake. "I take it the date wasn't so great then?"
Jane looked at her skeptically, tracing patterns on the plastic table they sat at. "Dude, he wore a Wife Beater to Delmonico."
"A Wife Beater?" Beth winced for the poor man's sake. Every man should know how to dress up for a first date at a nice restaurant; somewhere Emeril, the restaurant's famous owner, was feeling his heart breaking. "It could have been worse," Beth amended, trying to be reassuring as Jane dropped her head pathetically onto the table. "They've been pretty chill about their dress code since Katrina."
Jane looked up sadly. "It was worse. He had a fu Manchu."
Beth winced again, this time for Jane's sake. "That's almost appalling."
Jane groaned and began to rub her temples in frustration. "I give up, Bethy! There are absolutely no good men left in this entire city!"
"Sure there are, Jane." Beth began to pat Jane reassuringly on her back, forgetting momentarily that Jane wasn't really into personal contact before Jane squirmed out of her reach. "I mean, look at Charlie. He's great. And if a knockout like you can't find someone, then I will personally abdicate Charlie to you instead."
Jane laughed. "I don't think Charlie would agree. That poor guy is crazy about you."
Beth grinned. "Yeah, that or just plain crazy. The jury is still out."
Jane laughed, knowing with all sincerity that Beth was merely joking. She groaned again, wishing her libido and ticking maternal clock would just disappear so she could use what little energy she had left after work to write a book or help starving children, or anything really that would be more productive than moaning over men. "If I were writing in to your column, Beth, what would you tell me then?" Jane asked, looking up at her friend hopefully.
Beth shrugged and wracked her mind quickly. "I suppose I'd tell you to ask a friend to set you up."
"That's brilliant!" Jane announced.
Beth looked at her doubtfully. "Jane, last time Lydia set you up you thought you got syphilis."
Jane winced. "Yeah, what a perv." She shook the memory out of mind then focused on the idea at hand. "No Bethy, you could set me up."
"I don't know any men. Besides Charlie and Wickham."
"My point exactly!" Jane exclaimed again. "Doesn't Charlie have any single friends?"
Beth suddenly found her thoughts, for about the tenth time that day, hovering over the name of Charlie's best friend. William Darcy. She'd laughed when she'd first heard it, recalling old memories involving a fortuneteller. But she was too nervous about meeting the man in question to think too much on the coincidental name. He was Charlie's best friend, and to say that Beth was terrified to meet him for the first time was an understatement. Will was flying somewhere over the country with Charlie's sister, every minute inching closer to meeting her and, she feared, disapproving of her entirely.
Beth hated that she was so nervous to meet the man. Sure she could be friendly enough with a perfect stranger, divulging too much information to baristas and tourists all across the city, but for some reason knowing that Will Darcy had to like her made her clam up in nerves. What if he didn't? What if Charlie decided he couldn't marry her based on the opinion of his friend? Now, adding Jane wanting to be set up with him; Beth feared this man would be the cause of far too much trouble in her life.
"No Janie, please don't put me in that position," she begged Jane.
Jane looked entirely too crestfallen for Beth to bear. "Ok fine," she conceded. "I might be able to introduce you to a friend of his at the engagement party, but I make no promises beyond that."
"Promises about what?" Lydia asked, striding painfully into the room in her four-inch stilettos.
"Jane wants me to set her up with a friend of Charlie's," Beth replied.
Lydia chucked superiorly. "Jane I have two fucking words for you." She grinned and counted the words off on her fingers, emphasizing each syllable. "Detachable showerhead."
Beth picked up her car in the lot immediately after finishing her column, and rushed down I-10 in order to get ready at her house for her engagement party. She thanked god she'd made it out of work early enough to beat the traffic and make it home with enough time to make sure her father was making himself presentable instead of watching TiVo'd episodes of Jeopardy that he'd already memorized all the answers to. She smiled at her father's eccentricity as she pulled into her driveway and entered the house to find her father doing just that.
She hit the old man with a throw pillow and told him to get up off his "wrinkly, old arse and try to look less like a hobo begging for cash off Canal".
"If the Olsen twins can sport the beggar look, why can't the old man?" he asked standing up begrudgingly. "Trying to fault me for being hip," he grumbled as he trudged off to his room in his worn-out bunny slippers and Beth raced upstairs to iron her favorite black dress.
"We're going for presentable here, Daddy," she shouted as she rushed around the house gathering items for her own preparation. "That means I don't want to come down these stairs to find you wearing anything neon."
Chuck Bennet chuckled to himself as he pulled out the same pair of dress slacks he'd worn to Beth's first communion.
"And nothing that clings to you like spandex!" he heard her shout across the house. "You're not a size 32 anymore, Daddy."
Mr. Bennet checked the size of his pants, and rolled his eyes at his daughter's ability to slander his self-proclaimed good taste. He tossed the old slacks aside and grabbed the pair Beth had bought him for Christmas instead.
He managed to find a presentable outfit in record timing then sniffed each of his armpits, applied ample amounts of deodorant, wet his hair, and combed it back slickly. Beth met him, still rushing about the house looking for her deceased mother's pearl earrings. She kissed him briefly before wincing. "Geez, Daddy, you smell like you rubbed an Old Spice ad in a magazine all over yourself!" She shoved him gently back towards his room with orders to "wash that horrid scent off and do something somewhat less dated to your hair."
Mr. Bennet, even after making the mandatory changes, still found himself waiting for his daughter on the sofa for a solid half-hour before she descended the stairs, just in time to make it to her party fashionably late.
"Also referred to as The Second Revolutionary War, or Mr. Madison's War."
"What is The War of 1812, Alec?"
Beth chuckled as she watched her father supply the question as if addressing the host personally. "You know he can't hear you, right Daddy?"
Mr. Bennet paused Jeopardy. "You do know you're going to see Charlie, not the Queen, right Bethy?" he shot back, matching her tone exactly.
"Don't be a smartass," she advised, slinging her purse over her shoulder and opening the door for him.
"I might say the same to you, Missy."
Beth and her father did arrive at Charlie's house fashionably late, (which, as Ms Brennon would say was "positively unfashionable when one was the hostess") but Beth still found time to set her father up for a lovely (and hopefully, very non-threatening) chat with Charlie, have a drink or two to quell her nerves, and greet the vast majority of the guests.
She was in the midst of retelling of an epic story concerning a particularly "shwasted" Mardi Gras in which she'd elbowed a nine-year-old boy in the face in order to catch a feather boa off of a float at the Endymion parade to Lydia and Katie, when she felt Charlie come up behind her and kiss her briefly on the cheek.
"Bethy, I want you to meet my best friend since grade school."
Beth took a deep breath and prepared herself for the highly influential meeting that was about to take place, before turning away from her twittering co-workers and facing the man that just so happened to control her fate.
Once she was finally facing William Darcy (The William Darcy, she should say) Beth suddenly found all the air in her body quickly slip out of her lungs. Her eyes grew wide in an emotion that mingled utter terror and awe into one seamless loose-lipped smile.
She bit down the sensation racing through her stomach, the tumult of either nausea or bliss. Beth couldn't tell anymore. Everything she felt suddenly seemed like a paradoxical contradiction. His eyes were both warm and guarded. His smile was friendly and tight. His tousled hair was both messy and perfect. He was simultaneously gorgeous and terrifying. Beth suddenly wondered if she was the contradiction, or was it him? As their eyes met, there hardly seemed to be a difference between the two.
Oh god, she was confused. And dizzy. Very, very dizzy.
"Beth, this is William." Charlie placed a sweet, but brief kiss on her cheek. Like a bucket of icy water, it quickly re-awakened her senses to reality. "Will, this is the girl I'm going to marry. This is Beth."
When she looked back into the eyes of William Darcy, there was no depth, no spinning sensation, just dark, brown circles hovering between his darkened and guarded brow. What had just happened?
"Nice to meet you," he muttered darkly, jabbing out a stiff hand at her. She shook it with dread, fearing the sensation the contact might have on her. She found herself slightly disappointed (although, surely not, her brain screamed at her) when all she felt was the rough clasp of his icy fingers.
"And you," she whispered back, still too confused and terrified to achieve any other response.
There was a long, deep silence while Darcy studied the carpet and both Beth and Charlie studied him curiously. Charlie finally broke the tension. "So Beth, I'll bet if you get Will particularly drunk tonight he'll tell you the story of the time we went gator hunting in the bayou with a couple of rednecks."
Beth smiled at her sweet, polite fiancé and grabbed his hand in reassurance. "That sounds great, honey. I'd love to hear it."
Charlie kissed her on the cheek for a third time. "Will, want me to get you another drink?" before beginning to turn away from them in order to permit them an opportunity to forge a better acquaintance without his intrusion.
Beth observed closely as Will unbuttoned a button on his shirt, coughed uncomfortably, before calling after Charlie that he'd accompany him to get that drink, and leaving Beth standing alone in his wake, once again wondering what the hell had happened.
"Is that the fucking best man?" Lydia asked, leaning away from Katie to whisper in Beth's ear. "Isn't there some sort of tradition that says the best man sleep with at least one bridesmaid? I'll be willing to take the fucking bullet on this one."
Both ladies watched the tall, dark, mysterious man wander off with peculiar (although in Lydia's case, she'd own that they were "very fucking arousing") sensations running through each of them.
Beth took a long drag on her Rum and Coke. The night had worn on quickly and her eyes were heavy with exhaustion from the long week that had preceded her weekend. She didn't want to sound ungrateful, but she was looking forward to the party ending.
"Are you ok?" a skeptical, and somewhat snotty female voice asked from behind her. Beth turned to face Charlie's sister, staring at her dubiously.
Beth grinned and held onto the wall to stop herself from swaying. "Oh Caroline, yes I'm fine."
Caroline was still staring at her with uncertainty. "Are you drunk?"
Beth tried to keep her eyes open, but instead found herself smiling lazily and leaning against a nearby wall to doze slightly. "Just a tad," she yawned. "It was a long night."
Suddenly Caroline grinned and took a long swig of her own drink. "Good god, my brother is marrying an alcoholic," she teased. Beth couldn't tell if she was being facetious or condescending. She leaned further into the wall and decided not to care.
"I'm not drunk. Just sleepy."
Caroline rolled her eyes and shook her head before grabbing Beth on her upper arm and hoisting her off the wall. "Whatever you say, Drunky." She wrapped her arm around Beth's waist and began to lead her future sister-in-law up the stairs to an unoccupied guestroom. "I swear my brother doesn't appreciate me nearly enough for how much I sacrifice for this family," she muttered as she hauled Beth up the stairs and threw her with all her remaining effort onto the bed.
"I like you, Caroline," Beth muttered. "You wanna know why I like you?"
Caroline placed her hands on her hips and stared down at the half-sleeping woman. "Why?"
Beth sat up as far as her aching muscles would allow without protest. "Because you're beautiful and spunky, and you know it." Beth snapped her fingers three times, forming a Z in front of her in mid air. "Work. It. Girl," she said, pronouncing each word with each respective snap before peeling over in a fit of giggles.
Caroline rolled her eyes and laughed to herself as Beth fell back onto the pillows. She walked out of the room, refusing to admit to herself that she liked Beth too.
Beth found herself being awakened in the dead of the night by two supposedly hushed voices. She looked around the room, unable to distinguish anything until her eyes adjusted to the dark. With relief, she recognized the room in Charlie's house and wondered briefly how she'd ended up there before her thoughts came rushing back to her. In the dark of the night she groaned internally at her embarrassing speech to her future sister-in-law.
Her mind did not dwell on her mortification for long though, for but a few moments later she found herself distracted by a voice that was distinctly Charlie's uttering her name just outside her door.
"So what did you think of Beth?"
"What do you mean, what did I think of her?"
Beth rifled though her brain trying to place the owner of the second voice when her mind landed on the only logical choice: William Darcy.
"C'mon, Will. Tell me what you thought."
"She seemed"—cough—"interesting."
"Interesting? Could you think of a more enigmatic response? What'd you really think?"
There was a long pause followed by a deep and drawn out intake of breath before Will replied. "She's not what I thought she'd be."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I just don't think she's right for you."
Beth frowned into the darkness of her room. Why wasn't she right for Charlie? Was there something wrong with her?
"What?" Charlie asked, sounding decidedly dumbstruck.
"I just… don't think she's good enough for you."
Ouch, Beth thought, mentally wincing and trying to convince herself to stop listening and fall back asleep before her pride was wounded any further.
"You... What?" Beth supposed Charlie was too dumbstruck to respond.
"I'm sorry man. I just… I can't see it working out. Are you sure she's the one?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," Charlie bit back, his voice highly edged with sudden malicious anger. "Goodnight, Will," he muttered sounding highly disappointed before Beth heard his quick tread across the wooden floors heading back towards his own room.
"Damn it," the voice outside her door muttered to itself. "What the hell did you get yourself into, Will?"
Beth squeezed her eyes shut and hoped like hell that this was all just a horrible dream.
After sneaking out of Charlie's house, early the next morning and spending the remainder of her weekend dodging Charlie's calls, Beth decided to do like Lydia and "just get the fuck over it".
She strutted into work at her normal time on Monday, determined to put the entire overheard conversation behind her and move forward with her relationship with Charlie. Who gave a shit about Will Darcy anyway? Besides her fiancé, that was…
"Beth!" she heard her name float across the street and looked up to see Jane rushing to catch up with her as she raced across the street narrowly avoiding an Escalade. "I'm so glad I caught you," she panted, hunching over to catch her breath while Beth stood staring at her in awe like a street performer.
"You okay there, Jane?" she asked holding open the door while Jane regained her breath and led the way into their building. "I see that gym membership is really paying off."
Jane smacked her playfully on the arm. "Shut it," she wheezed before gulping down a few more mouthfuls of air and getting to the issue at hand while they waited on the elevator. "You completely forgot to introduce me to Charlie's friend on Friday," she scolded as the doors swung open.
Beth winced and tried to hide her unease, pressing the button for their floor in hopes of avoiding eye contact. "Oh, I completely forgot," she feigned.
"Bull," Jane whispered then mentally scolded herself for almost swearing. Beth wondered if she weren't some sort of saint.
"Sorry, Jane. I got a bit out of hand on Friday."
Jane shook her head disapprovingly. "Well do you think we could give it another go or am I starting to seem desperate?"
Beth didn't want to reply that she was in fact getting a bit desperate, but was saved from having to lie as the doors swung open onto their floor and they both marched straight towards their cubicles. Before they could make it, however, they were corralled into their meeting room by a fidgeting Ms. Brennon, who quickly announced to the present staff members the reason for her meeting.
"I'm just over the moon that I get to be the one to introduce you to this utterly divine and sensational adjustment to our team. These are the celestial minds that will be putting our entire enterprise online!" She gushed to the room at large while Beth and Wickham shared wide-eyed repressed smiles across the room and feigned fainting to each other. "I'd like to introduce you all to our new web master, William Darcy, and his assistant, Caroline Bingley. They'll be in charge of our transition onto the wondrous world wide web!"
With those words, William Darcy spun around in his chair to face the room full of New Orleans Daily staff members and Beth Bennet felt her heart sink into the cement floor.
"Never mind, Beth," Jane whispered, nudging her in the side and staring wide-eyed at the subject of the entire room's fascination, Will Darcy. Jane bit her lip and her entire face lit up in lust, rapture and determination. "I don't need to meet Charlie's friend anymore. I've got something else in mind."
A/N: As you're starting to see this is almost more like an alternate universe. I wanted to do something a bit more original so I have taken a fair share of liberties. A lot of characters aren't going to be playing the same roles in the same fashion so don't think you've got anyone pegged just yet. (Although trust me that I won't do anything appalling like have Jane run off with Wickham!) They'll surprise you yet! I told you I had a lot up my sleeve, but you can see the story starting to take shape, ya? I hope you guys are enjoying it because I'm enjoying your reviews. Thanks everyone!