The Fault in Dying
The world was quiet: eerily so. Yuè Rú lay in her bed. Her hands were clasped neatly over her stomach. There was tightness in her breath, languidness in her joints. She was dying. She was dying – and it was far faster than it had ever been before. She supposed that there were only a few minutes, perhaps an hour at most.
Regardless, she was waiting. She was ready.
In the waxing light of near noon, Yuè Rú closed her eyes, wondering if it would come any sooner. It didn't. She let out a loud sigh. Her gaze returned to the window. Her wrinkled hands were clasped together. She was old. She had that to be thankful for.
In that moment, relaxed and resigning, the branches of the nearest tree stirred. Her eyes flew open. She would have sat if she had the strength – but alas, she didn't. Her eyes watered. It was simply a hunch, a kind of trepidation or a tingling that she wasn't quite aware of that emanated from her bones. Her lower lip stuck out slightly and trembled.
"Zhào Líng'er…" she whispered tentatively, anxiously. "Yì Rú…"
There was silence.
Yuè Rú curled up a little. Would Líng'er be angry? Would Yì Rú be angry? It hurt – a violent thump, thump, thump – that called out. Xiǎo Mán needed someone. She was too young to be alone – and while she didn't doubt Hǎi Táng, she didn't want to give away that mothering right. She also didn't approve in trading her away in a foolish attempt at compensating for another's death: that it was Xiǎo Mán's father's death didn't matter. It was wrong.
She was glad though. If not for Hǎi Táng, Xiǎo Mán would have to see another of her loved one's die. It was the only kindness that Yuè Rú had to give. It made her nauseous; the notion of being so weak. She wanted to be strong for the child. She wanted more time with Xiāo Yáo.
However, even as she thought desperately of all the things she wanted, of all of the things she was leaving unfinished, her eyes were drifting closed and her breathing was growing shallower.
Author's Note: Ā Nú is Hǎi Táng. I can't express how surprised I am that not a lot of people understand that. Though I suppose that my disbelief is only going to grow what with the upcoming sin… What are we going to do with you, back-story? There's so much of you to work with... Also, yes, according to what I've heard through the grape vine (currently unable to play :'(), Ā Nú did adopt a boy that Yì Rú eventually fell in love with. Also, again, Xiāo Yáo had to kill him.
Enough of that, I thank you for reading my work. I hope that you have found some enjoyment in it.