January 2008

London

"This is absolutely astounding. Are you certain?" Giles asked for what had to be the fourth time in the last five minutes. He was addressing the man in the three-piece suit whose name might have been Nigel or Winston or something else decidedly English. NigelWinston nodded and reiterated once more that he was indeed certain.

It had been almost a month now since the sky had begun to change color. At first, you couldn't really tell. It just looked a bit off, something one could attribute to awkward lighting, cloud coverage, or pollution. But soon the blue sky became less blue. It was like the sky had frozen in twilight; it stayed that same bruised purple color it did at sunset no matter the time of day. It had almost been beautiful.

The beauty ended when the sky turned red. It went from rosy pink to the color of blood in only a couple of days. Everyone noticed. Meteorologists had speculated, clerics had prophecized, but no one had known. The general consensus was that there was something wrong with the air and had caused it to turn red. They could all feel it, even if they didn't know what it was. The air had changed. But this couldn't be true. Even Buffy, who had gone to school about as often as she went to the dentist, knew that the color of the sky had nothing to do with the air, it wasn't even the air that was colored, just the light. The sky's color was determined by the diffusion of wavelengths in the light. Since blue was the shortest wavelength, it was diffused up to ten times more and therefore dominant. If the sky wasn't blue anymore, it meant something was wrong with the light. Something was wrong with the sun.

The very idea was unfathomable and Buffy and the Council and humanity in general was concerned that such a radical change would lead to mass hysteria. It had already begun. The streets were filled with the rantings of madmen and proclamations of the end of days. It reminded Buffy of that time in college when the purple mimes with metal teeth had stolen the voices of Sunnydale's residents, of the shock and hostility and defeat they had all resigned themselves to. Buffy didn't want that to happen again and to the rest of the world. So now, with all the resources of the Council and the Powers That Be at their disposal, Buffy had waited (almost) patiently for just exactly how the world was ending this time. Because NigelWinston knew.

"I think we've established that he's certain, Giles," Buffy said. She'd been trying to get the two men to stop speaking in watcher riddles, to no avail. She was sick of watching Giles and NigelWinston exchange an assortment of British synonyms for words that were already stupid while they each cleaned their respective glasses. "The question is now, and has been since I started asking this morning, what are we going to do about it? Because I, for one, have actually grown tired of hearing myself speak."

"While that is a feat in and of itself, I'm afraid that this situation is far more dire," Giles was wiping his glasses again.

"We are talking about some big bad trying to destroy the world, right? Been there, done that."

Buffy was bored. After being appointed Slayer in Chief, she had learned quickly that a fancy title only meant longer hours and paperwork. Working for the council had been a last resort and she'd spent the better part of the last five years having variations of this same conversation. Something or someone was always trying to end the world. It went like this: 1) Do research, 2) Kick ass, 3) Apply witty retort/amusing pun to accompany said asskicking, 4) World doesn't end. Repeat as needed. But Buffy needed specifics not ambiguities muttered in hyperbole.

"I'm afraid you don't understand, Miss Summers," NigelWinston started. He turned the ancient text he and Giles had been discussing so Buffy could see. She had no idea what it said or why NigelWinston was under the impression that she could read Sanskrit. "According to this prophecy, the events have already been set in motion. The world isn't merely ending," he paused here for dramatic effect. "It's dying."

--

So I forgot to disclaim the song titles:

The Great Escape - The Bravery

Shadowplay - The Killers

Bound to Get Caught - PlayRadioPlay!

It's the End of the World As We Know It - REM