Coming Home
-The Tommy/Tess Association-
"What's off limits?"
"Mom, Pop, and the fight."
"What's okay?"
"Everything else."
"What's off limits?"
"Mom, Pop, and the fight."
"Good." Ada sat back in her chair and eyed Tommy as she gulped down her coffee like it was going out of style. She was not a morning person, especially on the weekend when it was her every right as an employed human being to sleep in as long as she wanted. The barbeque started at two, and a five-hour drive ahead of them meant that she was up at six and at the office by eight for her ex-patient. That gave her half an hour to brief him on conversational etiquette with strangers, people he didn't like, or those that fell into the category of both. He was doing well, so far.
Since he was no longer her patient, Ada took the opportunity as woman instead of as a doctor to assess Tommy. He'd always been muscular, but with his increased training, he was beginning to add to that muscle mass. The fabric of his solid gray tee shirt stretched across his form fittingly, and the black ink of multiple tattoos peeked out from under the sleeves of both arms, and from the neck collar. He was a good looking man, and she had definitely taken that for granted the past eight weeks.
"You look different," he said, which made her laugh as she realized he had been assessing her, too. Of course she'd look different. Her hair was out of its usual variation of some form of bun, she'd applied her makeup a little more thickly than the natural tones appropriate for work, and instead of a pantsuit she wore a sundress. "Your hair looks good down." Modest Tommy, she thought to herself with a smile.
"Thank you!" she said. "I do enjoy a good barbeque."
"Hope I don't ruin your opinion."
"Behave, and we'll be fine."
"I'm not letting you out of my sight."
"Tommy, you're a grown ass man. Act like one."
He froze, and for a moment she thought her informal kidding had offended him. However, he released an airy breath of laughter, leaning to one side slightly as he regarded her. "I like this Ada. She can stay."
She glared at Tommy over her coffee mug. "You like me as a therapist. Don't lie."
"Yeah…you're not too bad."
By nine o'clock, they'd navigated city traffic and were on the open road. Tommy was not happy to be riding in what he referred to as "the vagina". Regardless of the deeply tinted windows of the Prius, he kept his sunglasses on and his head down, and continuously beleaguered her for her awful taste in cars.
"It gets wonderful gas mileage," she defended. "And it's good for the environment."
"Don't feed me that bullshit. You just have bad taste. These cars are for seventy year-olds and sad suburban housewives. You aren't either of those."
Ada glanced over at him as he flipped through her CD collection, his aviators pushed up on his forehead to get a better look at the covers. "At least I have a car."
"I'm a city boy, I don't need to drive," he said, completely unphased. "You got bad taste in music, too."
"I have great taste in music! What are you talking about?" He held up a Katy Perry CD with a pointed stare, and she looked away quickly. "That was an impulse buy, give me a break."
"We're going car shopping when we get back to the Burgh," he said, giving up on finding something decent to listen to and resorting to flipping through radio channels. Tommy took his shotgun rider duty as DJ very seriously. "Heading straight for the Mercedes lot. Now that's a car fit for a shrink."
Ada only laughed, finding his determination to save her from her unattractive excuse for a vehicle, and the fact that he was so concerned about it at all, quite amusing.
The drive went fairly smoothly, with silence the most of the way. Whenever Tommy became incessantly fidgety and impatient, Ada noticed and would pull off the road, or into a rest area if there was one conveniently nearby, so he could get out and walk around a bit. It didn't bother her, how frequently they had to stop. The anticipation of reuniting with his estranged brother for the first time since he was taken into custody by military police would be nerve wracking. Not knowing what to expect, or how to behave properly when there was over a decade of things left unsaid between the brothers. Having to sit for five hours in a small space while he went through the motions would be painful. She could feel a small sense of nervousness fluttering inside her as well. Not for meeting these people, but for Tommy. She prayed that today would not backtrack any of the progress they'd made.
The last half-hour was the worst for him, and as they entered within the city limits, Tommy's hands shook, and his voice was low while he read off directions to her. Brendan Conlon lived on the outskirts of Philadelphia, outside of the city hustle and in the quiet of the suburbs. As she drove along, Ada was all but reminded of her neighborhood growing up in Seattle. The decent-sized houses were individual in their own design, and the yards were kept trimmed and tidied. SUVs and minivans sat outside in the driveways, and homeowners worked away in their garden beds, preparing the plants for the onset of fall.
As she made a final right into a cul-de-sac, Tommy groaned beside her. She glanced over to see him rubbing his face, eyes shut tight as she rounded and parked at the curb in front of the proper house. "Ready?" she asked softly, turning to him.
He stared straight ahead, and after a moment he exhaled deeply through gritted teeth. "Fuck it," he grunted, opening the car door and propelling out of the vehicle. Ada followed him at a slower pace, first grabbing the dessert she'd made from the back seat, then strolling up to join him on the front porch, where he'd stopped. He hesitated, glancing down at her as though waiting for further direction. She gave him an encouraging smile, and after a pause he reached his hand out, pressing hard against the button that triggered the ring of the doorbell.
"Take off your sunglasses," she muttered to him, and he hastily obliged, hanging them off the collar of his shirt as they heard footsteps approach. A second later the door opened, and Brendan Conlon appeared.
Only his eyes identified him as Tommy's brother. All else was different, physically. He was a ginger, as opposed to Tommy's dark brown hair. He was taller, thinner, and held himself with a serene confidence. However, upon laying eyes on his brother, that tranquility gave way to shock and awe. "Tommy…" he trailed off, clearly not knowing what to say. His wide, bright blue eyes searched over his brother as though they couldn't believe that he was really standing in front of him. After a few seconds, he recovered from his astonishment, and his eyes shifted to Ada. "You brought someone."
"Yeah," Tommy said shortly. "Hope you don't mind."
"No, man," Brendan returned to examining his brother, astounded that they were standing together, speaking civilly. "Not at all. Come on in."
He stood back, allowing them to step over the threshold and into his home. Tommy took in his surrounds like a Rottweiler on alert, a scowl set on his face, eyes searching every surface and cranny of a house that was clearly owned by a family that was well-off. Ada took the opportunity to introduce herself to Brendan. She shifted the glass pan to one side, freeing her right hand. "Ada DuPrae," she said with her best professional smile. "It's really nice to meet you."
"Brendan Conlon," he took her outstretched hand in greeting. "I recognize your name. You're the psychiatrist I set Tommy up with. You brought your doctor, Tommy?"
The brother turned from his investigation to acknowledge Brendan briefly. "She ain't my shrink anymore, man."
"It's true," Ada said, nodding. "Tommy completed his eight weeks yesterday. I'm accompanying him as a friend today, as a gesture of appreciation for doing so well in therapy."
"That's great to hear man," Brendan smiled at Tommy, who had turned away again. His smile faded for a moment, and he glanced down at the ground. However, his eyes were back up on Ada almost instantly, as he accepted that much of his communication with his brother that afternoon would have to be through her. "Well, everyone's out back. It's just a little barbeque we're hosting with friends from work and the neighborhood. End of the summer thing. Grab a drink, help yourself to some food. I'll round up Tess and the girls, and they can meet their uncle." His gaze shifted to the man over her shoulder.
"Where should I put this?" Ada asked, gesturing to the dessert in her arm.
"Oh! I'll take it," Brendan relieved her of the pan, and glanced down through the plastic wrap to the contents inside. "Chocolate pudding cake, family favorite." He grinned at her, and eyed his brother once more. "Thank you. Let me put this outside, and I'll meet you guys out there."
Ada watched Brendan exit the foyer, and as soon as he was out of sight, she turned and punched Tommy in the arm. He rounded on her, scowl still firmly in place. "First of all," she hissed, "wipe that scowl off your face and stand up straight. Secondly, I don't care if it's Kim Jong Il's party you're at, if he's the host you acknowledge him with your full attention and your full respect." His eyes widened at her chastising, but she stood firm and continued, "And scoping out the house is supposed to be done when no one's looking. Don't stand there in front of Brendan, evaluating his home like you're giving it a fucking appraisal. It's rude. Do you understand?"
His glare was vicious, but eventually it relented as he shifted out of his fighter's slouch and into his full height. "Thank you," she said, patting his chest. "Now, we're going to go outside, and we're going to try this again with the wife and the kids. And you're going to be nice."
"I'll try," he said gruffly. "The kids, whatever. Kids are kids. But her…" he shook his head. "No amount of 'nice' is gonna change that."
Ada furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Wait – his wife, is that the girl? He married the girl he stayed for?"
"Yep."
Tommy not only had to face his brother today, but the woman that played a vital role in disintegrating their relationship all those years ago. It would have helped her to know that before. The potential for something to go awry just doubled its chances. "Nevertheless," she said. "Just because you don't like someone, does not mean that you can't be cordial while in the company of others. We talked about this, remember? You wanted to be here, so we are. You wanted to try, so we're going to. All right?"
At his quiet response of "all right", she grabbed him by the shirt sleeve and dragged him off in the direction that Brendan had gone, through a dining room to the kitchen where the sliding glass door of the back porch sat open. From the kitchen, they could hear the sounds of music, voices, laughter, and screaming children. Without stopping or giving him any more time to prepare himself, she pushed him straight out into the action.
The Conlons had a good-sized back yard, and it was littered with occupied lawn chairs and fold-out tables. Some of the women fussed over the food table up on the deck, while a few of the men stood by the grill with beers in hand. Most were out in the yard, making conversation and keeping an eye on the children as they swerved through the mazes of human obstacles. There was a wooden swing set erected at the far end of the yard complete with its very own fort and slide, and it seemed to be quite popular among the young ones.
Ada stood beside Tommy, smiling as she appreciated the normalcy of it all. She leaned into him and mumbled, "See? Not so bad," and laughed when her only response was a grunt. "So grumpy," she joked, strolling over to the cooler and plucking a beer for the both of them from the ice.
"I shouldn't be here," he said, eyes wide as he scanned the crowd of families.
"You're fine," Ada responded, grasping his arm in encouragement. "You're just not used to this."
"Used to what?" Tommy's eyes followed a small child as he ran by.
"What a happy family looks like."
The expression that fleeted across his face was one that Ada had never seen on him, and would probably not see again for quite some time. Envy. "He stayed. And everything worked out."
"Hey," Ada caught his eye and pulled him down to her level, keeping his face only inches in front of hers so she could make sure he was listening closely. "You can have this, Tommy. You can. You're just working on a little bit of a different timeline than Brendan. Be patient with yourself." She leaned back assess him, and his eyes were searching as he registered her words. "Okay?" He nodded. "Okay," she repeated, glancing over his shoulder. "Now put your game face on, Conlon. The family is coming."
The family of four looked picture perfect as they approached. Brendan played the part of the strong rock, a loving husband and doting father. The wife was a beautiful blonde who looked amazing for raising two small children on the other side of thirty. Their children, two jubilant young girls full of life, allowed themselves to be steered by the shoulders towards Ada and Tommy.
"Girls, I want you to meet your uncle Tommy," Brendan said, crouching down to their height. "Tommy, this is Rosie and Emily. My daughters." The girls and Tommy stared at each other, and for Ada the sight was quite amusing. Tommy didn't know what to do, because he had little to no experience dealing with kids. The girls didn't know what to do because they were too young to understand the situation. Yet they all shared the same wide-eyed wonder. "Tommy is my brother," Brendan continued, speaking to the little ones. "He was a soldier, and he was fighting to keep us safe in a country far away. That's why you never met him before."
The girls remained silent, not able to fully comprehend what their father meant, but completely understanding that there was a big man that daddy wanted them to meet. They didn't assess Tommy as a threat because of Brendan's familiarity with him, and the term "brother" seemed to register with them, but regardless of this he was still a very large human being, and some apprehension was present.
After a moment, Tommy surprised the two parents by squatting in front of the girls. "How old are you?" he asked, regarding the both of them. Ada allowed herself a quiet laugh as he followed the plan of action she taught him earlier that morning should he have to interact with the children: break the ice with the universal child's favorite question.
Their eager responses came as a "three" and a "six", and there was even some finger action from the youngest. The oldest reciprocated the question. "Me?" Tommy's surprised expression was comical and friendly. "I'm going to be thirty-one years old pretty soon. I'm old."
"My birthday is December twelfth," said Emily. "I'm gonna be seven."
"No way!" Tommy exclaimed softly. "My birthday is in December, too. High five for December babies!" The young girl's whole hand could stretch across just his palm. Ada mentally tipped her hat to the days of the Kodak moment.
It didn't take Emily and Rosie long to accept Tommy into the family, and soon they were running off to rejoin the other kids. Tommy stood up again with Brendan, and looked down at Ada, silently asking her if he did all right. She nodded, grasping his hand briefly.
Brendan was visibly relieved that the introduction had gone so well. "I knew they'd like you Tommy," he said through a sigh. "Emily's an athlete at heart, like you. Softball in the spring and soccer in the fall. Remember when we did baseball for a while? I couldn't bat worth a damn. Still can't." He nodded after his daughters. "You'll have to teach her how to do it right."
"Sure," was Tommy's response, and with a hard stare from Ada, he offered up a small smile.
"Tess," Brendan brought his wife into the conversation for introductions. "This is Ada DuPrae, Tommy's therapist-"
"Ex-therapist," the brother interjected.
"…Therapist turned friend," he corrected himself.
"Tess, nice to meet you," the wife's greeting was as firm as her handshake, and Ada appreciated her authority. "Tommy," she nodded once at the man, and he did not return the gesture. Ada refrained from elbowing the fighter, as the coldness was mutual. The Tommy/Tess association would be a tough one tame. "Ada's a pretty old-fashioned name," Tess shifted her attention. "You from the south?"
"No, Seattle," Ada said.
"Have you lived in the Burgh for long?" Brendan asked, and she noticed that Tommy was listening intently, as he knew virtually nothing personal about his doctor lady.
"About a year."
"Not long at all. What made you make the big move, if you don't mind me asking?"
Ada smiled politely at their curiosity, and she weighed her words carefully. "The opportunity presented itself," was the response she settled for.
"Do you like being a therapist?" Tess asked.
"Not particularly, no," Ada responded honestly, used to the standard list of questions people asked when trying to identify with a stranger. "But I did enjoy working with Tommy."
"Why?" It was a question burning in the eyes of all three adults, but Tommy was the one to voice it.
"Because you're different," was all she said.
The afternoon progressed as easily as anyone would have expected. Tommy remained quiet and brooding, however Ada noticed that he was in distinctively better spirits after he had some food in his system. Some was an understatement. She'd been saving a small table in the corner of the yard for the two of them when he approached, his first helping of food piled dangerously high on a flimsy paper plate. The man could eat, and he returned to the table of goods as often as though he were catering to the company of a dear old friend.
When the prime afternoon crowd dwindled down to a manageable number, Brendan joined the two at their table, pulling up a chair and angling it to keep an eye on the happenings around them. Tommy sat nursing a beer as he let his food settle. Ada was focused intently on the ice cream she'd nabbed before the kids could finish it off. Not one of them spoke. They didn't need to, not yet. The brothers were allowing themselves the simple joy of each other's company, which they'd been deprived of for so long.
Ada made herself all but invisible, giving them this moment.
"All I'm saying is, it's a good idea. Sure it's got its flaws, but what doesn't? You never know what's going to happen. Never. Make healthcare universal and it takes all the worry out of it. People can be pissed off all they want, but they're going to be thanking their lucky stars when something does happen and they don't have to take out a second mortgage to pay the hospital bills."
"Words right out of my mouth," Ada lifted her wine glass in a toast to Brendan.
At some point, Tess had joined the trio, and conversation began flowing. They stuck to more polite topics at first, like where they went to school, and what they did for a living. Then Tess popped open a bottle of warm, encouraging pinot noir for her and Ada, and the brothers helped themselves to a couple shots of tequila for the sake of a little Dutch courage. Soon, their relaxed minds justified the turn to the more notoriously taboo topics of conversation: money, politics, and religion.
"Won't that affect you, though?" Tess rounded on Ada. "You'd be taking a pretty hefty pay cut if that happened."
"It'll be inconvenient for some, especially since a medical education is so expensive in this country. But personally I wouldn't mind. Healthcare should not be a luxury, it is a necessity, and our right to it shouldn't be defined by socioeconomic status."
"At the rate this world's going, business will be thriving no matter what, isn't that right?" Brendan said through laughter as he piled another bite of pudding cake onto his fork. The brothers shared in a similar appetite, she noticed amusedly.
"I'll never be wanting for clients, let's just say that," her voice was as smooth as her smile, and it earned a chuckle from the adults. "In fact, I could bear to lose some of them."
"You really don't like being a shrink, do you?" Tess asked passively as she began to gather empty plates and bowls out of conditioned habit. "Tommy must have been a handful for you."
Ada was ready to laugh the comment off without putting hardly any thought into its implications, but Tommy beat her to the punch. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Tess?"
The late afternoon sun continued to pour warm rays of light down into the backyard, but it could have very well been the dead of winter for how quickly a cold silence fell over the table. No one mistook his light tone for good humor. He patiently waited for an answer with sardonic expectancy, gray eyes glowing with scornful distaste
"Tommy…" Ada hissed a warning, but he ignored her.
"I –," Tess looked to her husband, silently asking for help, but Brendan was focused on his brother and finding a way to snuff out the spark before it could catch fire. "I just mean that you've been through a lot, Tommy."
"And what the fuck would you know about that? You don't know a goddamn thing about me."
"That's my wife you're talking to like that, Tommy," Brendan's initial discretion quickly gave way to a stern defense.
"Then you tell your little wife to keep her ignorant mouth shut."
"What the fuck is your problem?" Tess had a mean bark, and probably a meaner bite if Brendan didn't physically work to keep her sat in her seat.
"My problem?" the laugh Tommy produced was venomous, and promised an ugly, premature end to a day with such potential. "Your wife has one bad memory, man. That or she's just fucking stupid."
"Enough!" Brendan jumped to his feet, and Tommy was on the reflex, following him just as quickly. The older brother flushed with anger, while the younger succumbed to an animalistic persona, wild delight spreading across his features, silently begging him to try and take a swing.
The exclamations were enough to turn heads, and in the heat of the moment the conflicted adults appeared to have forgotten that children were present and witnessing the unfolding of this exchange of verbal lashings. Ada quickly transformed into a doctor and seized control of the situation as if it were nothing more than group therapy. Except there was no resuming the meeting where they left off this time. This particular event had come to its close.
"We're done," she said, her voice steady and full of authority. Tommy recognized the tone, as he broke a burning stare with Brendan to glance over at her. "We're going home, Tommy. Walk." She stepped over and pushed against his shoulder, encouraging him to move, but he shrugged her off. "Say goodbye to your brother, and walk," she snapped, pushing against him again. Tommy continued his contest of nerve with Brendan for another pregnant pause, then side-stepped, and began the trek back up into the house.
It was when he was well on his way, head high and with no intention of turning back, that Ada redirected her attention to Brendan and Tess. She knew she had to say something; utter a string of parting words on Tommy's behalf. And she had to think fast. She couldn't apologize. She wasn't sorry and neither was Tommy. Couldn't say it'd been a pleasure, because that would only be mocking them. Couldn't say that it wouldn't happen again, because that was a promise certain to break.
"Don't condemn him." At these words, Ada nodded in departure, and hurried after the fuming fighter.