Okay, so I finally got around to finishing this... ;)

Epilogue

"Why can't I have them again?" Aaron pressed as Kate led him into the park, his small hand trapped in one of hers, a bunch of blue helium balloons wound tightly in the other.

"Because they're for your baby brother," she reminded him with more patience than she knew she had. He'd been asking her the same question all morning.

"The one who's in heaven with Grandpa?" he checked and she turned to stare at him, surprised. She'd never mentioned Jack's father to him, much less told him that he was dead. She wondered if Jack had.

She glanced back to where he was trailing a few steps behind them but he didn't appear to be listening, lost in thoughts of his own. It was exactly a year since the fight that had cost them the life of their unborn son, so she knew that he had a lot on his mind.

"Yeah. Today is kind of his birthday," she explained, tearing her eyes from him and returning her attention to Aaron, hoping that this at least he would understand.

"But if he's in heaven, how will he get them?" he insisted after a moment, and she let out a barely audible sigh, afraid that he was trying to out-logic her so that she would give them to him, until she saw that he was serious, his brow furrowed in contemplation.

"We're gonna send them to him," she told him with a reassuring smile.

"How?"

She squeezed his hand, touched by his fear that the baby wouldn't get his "present" on time.

She could still remember how excited he was the day she and Jack sat him down and explained that he was going to be a big brother. Telling him that that wasn't going to happen when her own heart was already broken was one of the hardest thing she'd ever had to do.

She could never bring herself to talk about it after that, shutting down whenever he mentioned it, but Jack's counsellor at rehab thought that it was important for them to acknowledge their loss as a family, so she'd come up with the idea for the balloons as a symbolic act of letting go.

Since their son was technically never born, they hadn't been able to bury him; she hated the thought of him in a cemetery, settling on the park instead because it was Aaron's favourite place and she was sure that if he'd lived it would've been his too.

She could still see Aaron showing off to him on the swings that he loved so much, bragging about how much higher he could go, racing him up the fort, defending him against anyone who tried to bully him when they got older…

"You'll see," she told him.

She let him choose a quiet spot in the shade of one of the trees he liked to climb when he was feeling adventurous mood, before distributing the balloons: one for him, one for herself, and one for Jack.

Aaron threw his into the air as soon as she'd finished explained what she wanted him to do, bounding along in its wake as it drifted away.

She didn't want to prolong the experience; thinking of her mother, who she hoped had finally gotten her wish to meet her grandson – her real grandson – and was taking care of him, she released hers next.

Jack should have been right behind her, but even though he'd come a long way since the night she'd found him half out of his mind at the hospital, he clung to his, unable to bring himself to commit this final act of closure.

"You heard what she said, Jack," she reminded him gently, wrapping her hand around the string alongside his so that they could do it together. "It's time."

He nodded slowly, but when he glanced up at her, she could see the tears glistening in his eyes, mirroring the ones welling in her own.

"Maybe you should say something," she suggested, in case this helped him resolve some of his issues, but he shook his head, swallowing hard.

"No, you're right," he agreed, his eyes hard, his jaw set with determination. "This is something that I have to do, so let's just do it."

She knew better than to push him into making a ceremony of it, understanding him when he said that he just needed it to be over. They both needed it to be over, so that they could finally move on. "On the count of three. One… Two… Three…"

To her relief, he let go of it a second after she did, and together they watched it sail up into the sky and disappear.

"Mommy?" She lowered her eyes when she felt a soft tug at the hem of her blouse to see that Aaron had stopped chasing his and was standing beside her, looking up at her expectantly. "Can I go on the swings now?"

It warmed her heart to see the corners of Jack's lips quirk into a tiny smile.

"Of course you can, sweet pea," she agreed, "just be careful, okay?" She exchanged a wary glance with Jack. "The last thing this family needs is another trip to the hospital."

Another accident, she corrected herself silently, knowing that what she'd just described was inevitable after what she'd learned a few days before.

"Jack? Will you push me?" Aaron asked, his voice hopeful, but the slump in Jack's shoulders and his worn expression warned her that he wasn't up to it. It hadn't been an easy day for her, but she knew that it had to be harder for him.

"Honey, I think Jack's a little tired right now – how about I come do it instead?" she suggested.

She could see that he was disappointed, but he nodded, scurrying over to claim the one she knew was his favourite.

"You okay?" she checked as soon as he was gone, turning to study Jack's face.

He forced a weak smile for her benefit. "I will be, but you mind if I sit this one out? I think I need to be alone for a while."

She didn't want to leave him, knowing how easy it would be for him to slip back into old habits, but she had to start trusting him some time, and if he could make it through today…

She caught him in a lingering hug, squeezing him as she placed a chaste kiss against his cheek and stepped back. "I'll see you back at the house."

That night she tried not to drift off as she waited from Jack to come in from reading to Aaron. She'd offered to take over that responsibility just for tonight, but she knew that he felt guilty about neglecting him at the park.

They'd finished Alice's Adventures In Wonderland the week she'd brought him home from rehab, before he was reinstated at the hospital, following it with Through the Looking-Glass and The Wizard of Oz, which was all Aaron could talk about these days. She must have seen the movie at least fifteen times since Jack made the mistake of getting him the DVD.

"How're you holding up?" she asked, pulling herself up straighter against the headboard when he sat down on the edge of the bed beside her.

"I've had better days," he agreed, reaching out to lay his hand over hers in her lap. He squeezed it, rubbing the back with his thumb as he gave her a tiny smile. "I've also had worse."

Something about seeing it there, so close, without him having any idea, made her feel ashamed of herself for encouraging him to bear his soul to her while she was keeping a secret this huge from him, and she found that she couldn't hold it in anymore. She didn't think that she could deal with another night of tossing and turning beside him, forcing herself not to wake him and just blurt it out, not when she needed his assurance that he would be there to support her this time.

"Jack, there's something you should know," she confessed, withdrawing her hand. "I wanted to wait until after today to tell you."

He turned his full attention on her, one part concerned, one apprehensive as he waited for her to go on, and she wondered if he thought she was going to break up with him. "Tell me what?"

She wasn't sure how else to do it, so she decided to come straight out with it, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm pregnant."

His expression didn't change, and she wasn't sure that he'd heard her until he asked, "Are you sure?"

She couldn't tell if he was being pragmatic or if he was hoping that there was a chance she was wrong. "I didn't even know if I could get pregnant again after…" she explained, choking on the rest of the words when he glanced away, staring off into the darkness. "So I went to the doctor and yeah, Jack, I'm sure."

She licked her lips, waiting for some kind of response, her heart sinking when he failed to react. "I know we haven't really talked about it," she rushed on, wishing that he would just yell or hit the wall so that she knew he was upset. His calmness rattled her more than his anger ever could. "But I… I'm not sorry it happened."

She was terrified, hopeful, happier than she'd been in months as she fixed him with a nervous smile. "I really want this, Jack. I want us to have this chance."

When she still couldn't tell what he was thinking, she was afraid that he didn't. "Is that… is that okay?" she asked, less sure of herself. She couldn't bear it if something that meant so much to her pushed him back over the edge, and he left her again to dig himself into another black hole.

He was silent for a moment longer, and then he smiled, a real smile. It wasn't until she saw it again that she realised how much she's missed it. She'd almost forgotten how sweet it was, how much younger it made him look.

"It's not okay, Kate… We're having a baby." He shook his head in a kind of stunned disbelief, his eyes travelling down to her belly, lingering there. "We're having a baby."

Before she could reply, he swept her into a hug that managed to be fierce and loving, hard and tender at the same time, burying his face in the crook of her neck, his body shaking with something that was halfway between laughter and tears.

"So you really wanna do this?" she asked when he finally released her.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't have doubts," he agreed, and she could see the shadow that flickered over his expression, "but I swear to you, Kate, I won't let you down. Not this time. Not again."

He placed his palm gently, almost tentatively against her belly, and she knew then that she was right to trust him, that he was telling the truth. He wasn't going to let any harm come to this child. "I'm gonna be better, for you and our kids. I want them to be proud of me."

She was touched when she realised that he had included Aaron in this, soothed by his determination to be a better father to him and this baby than either of them had had.

"I love you," she whispered, draping one arm across his chest and shifting closer to him when he crawled into bed beside her. "Don't ever forget that."

"I love you too," he told her, taking her face in his hands and lifting it to his, kissing her slowly, sweetly, making her smile as she settled back against him, enjoying how it felt to have him hold her without any tension or bitterness or secrets between them.

So that's the real end this time. My aim was to bring it full circle from "Trust" so I hoped you all liked it. (I'm sure I don't need to remind you what to do if you did, or if you really didn't ;)).

For anyone who's interested (To save me having to write a second epilogue), the second baby was a girl, and Jack really did live up to his promise to be a good father this time. In fact, I have a feeling that he was a little overindulgent of both kids. :)

Thanks again for all of your support. Now I can go back to writing "Almost Perfect". ;)