Things are not what they seem
Chapter III
The next day came fast, and the routine begins again, she didn't know when but everything has become such sameness in her life and she just didn't care about that. She was tired. Tired of how things have turned into this. She felt numb at everything.
It was time for lunch; she was at the library of the school. Another habit of hers, she has found some kind of comfort, lost in the lives of different characters and how they resolve their problems. Surrounded by dozens and dozens of books in big bookshelves, and the silence of that place, it always gives her some peace, something to entertain her mind, especially when the day is going bad.
Like the day before, her luck was nowhere but at her side. She felt like she couldn't face her friends now, it's not like she didn't wanted to be with them, but one needs a day to be by themselves. Oh, the irony.
So here she was, with her drink next to her right, reading one of her favorite's books "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", till she had to return to her classes.
-/-
The school day continued without major events. In Sikowitz class, her teacher wanted to do an improvised scene with her, Jade and Beck. Incorrect choice of actors made, simply. It ended badly, and again Beck and Jade fought, it seemed like a break up would happen. Tori just stood there, in between of the fight – Thankfully Sikowitz decided to stop them, and dismissed his class. Jade obviously blamed Tori for this, Tori just ignored what happened and let things flow without her intervention, she knew that it was a brief break up of them, like always. She knew that if she gets in, it would end worse.
She didn't understand how Beck and Jade are still together. Don't get her wrong, she sees how they are in love; how they care about each other but having so many fights and brief break up in between, she doesn't think that is a healthy form of having a relationship. She sometimes (many times) does not understand the dynamic in their relationship. She knows that Beck is the only one that can calm down Jade; he can make her to be more polite and stops her from hurting Tori.
But what she doesn't understand is how in their dynamic can be about possession and jealousy. She finds that to be a very toxic situation. Though Tori understand why Jade is so possessive of Beck, who is so pretty nice guy and always is surrounded by every girl in Hollywood Arts… But that jealousy is getting so out of control. She saw many times that Beck likes doing that to Jade, which she found it kind of a bad thing. She thinks that showing a bit of jealousy for your boyfriend/girlfriend is ok but this is too much.
She sees how their relationship is falling on them and they often seem like they don't care about it, but she knows them well enough. But the lack of trying to keep the love going is so obvious…
Tori was so deep in her thoughts about them that she didn't seem to notice that she was at her locker gathering her things so she can go home, her body was in auto-pilot.
-/-
In her house nobody was there, she didn't mind. She was getting used to this. She just wanted to sleep. Lately this thought was in her mind, sleep. She needed a good night sleep, but she can't and it was driving her mad. She was in her bedroom, doing her homework for tomorrow, the faster she'll be done with that, the more she can relax and try to get what she desired.
At 7 pm, she was woken up by a loud knock. It was Jade, again.
"Jade?" Asked Tori when she opened the door.
"Vega" Said Jade, "Seems like someone was going to bed already" Said Jade after taking a look at Tori, who was in some comfortable clothes, her hair in a messy ponytail and her glasses.
Tori only shrugged at her and let Jade in her house.
"What are you doing here?" Tori asked, going to the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice.
"I come here to give you some company, Vega… What do you think that I'm doing here; I come to end this stupid project for Sikowitz. The faster we end this, the less I'll have to see you." Said Jade, irritated and with sarcasm.
Another argument between them went on, till Tori decided to go upstairs to get her notepad where she wrote her story and meanwhile try to calm down.
Jade after she saw Vega disappear of her sight, took notice of her surrounds. She noticed how the Vega household felt so empty and lifeless, it seemed like the only one living here is the young half-Latin girl. None of the cars was at the driveway. She was glad that Trina wasn't here; dealing with one Vega was more than enough for her.
After that Tori came down, they were in the individual couches working on their projects. A thick tension settled in the room. Tori tried to break the uncomfortable silence, but before she could say something, Jade yelled No with such screechy tone and with that they continued what they were doing.
-/-
Again Jade left the house without saying anything. Tori only saw her leave; she didn't know how they are going to do this if they couldn't even communicate without ending at each other's throat.
She didn't understand why Jade don't let her be friends, Tori tries every time to prove her that she is willing to be her friend, that Tori cares about her, that she wants to know her. But the raven hair girl always pushes away; avoiding or blocking every try from the brunette and Tori was tired of all the insults and bitterness behavior from her.
She was tired of how Jade always tries to blame her that she is after her boyfriend when Tori already said thousands of times that she only sees Beck as a friend but Jade is being stubborn with her jealousy blinding her sight.
And to add up, lately they were arguing and fighting more than usual, she didn't know if it was because Jade was being more mean and rude or that she was tired of bearing with her and endure all the things that she says to her. But what she knows is that her group of friends is getting sick and tired of all of this.
But even after all the crap that Jade puts up to her, she is still willing to know her, to reach her and become friend with her. Someone else would have given up already and tell her that she was losing her time apart from being masochist but Tori continues trying, something inside of her tells that it's worth all the sacrifice.
-/-
After finishing her homework, Tori decided to check up TheSlap to see what's going on with her friends… Nothing important, just the usual: Cat saying something about her Pajelehoocho, André telling something that did her grandmother, Robbie says about an argument with Rex, Rex humiliating Robbie… The usual posts.
Someone else would say that her group of friends is pretty odd, but for her they are awesome people.
She turned her laptop off. The silence of her house was heavy and it would bother her but right now she didn't care, she was numb. She was tired, she only wanted to sleep.
When she needed help the most, she was abandoned – and only when she offered help to others she was beloved
- Matthew Quick