I'm so, so, so sorry for how long it has taken for me to update this. But I'm so grateful to any of you who keep reading it. As last time, thank you to CatLoverx33 and any of you who kept waiting and favorited this story =) I hope you all have a nice day/night wherever you all are! Warning: BoyxBoy, some violence, swearing, mentions of abuse, thoughts of self harm or suicide and a warning that ratings may turn up later.

Alex yawned slowly as he felt the cold still gnawing into his bones from where the blizzard had passed them over night. The tent was still blanketed from the heavy storm but at least it had held up. Some of those nights out on the beach having a slumber party of sorts, seemed to have finally payed off. There was a snug sense of comfort all around him now though, he could feel Jack wrapped up in his arms lightly snoring as Alex's best friend was sound asleep still. The poor little guy didn't deal too well with snow storms.

It brought back bad memories for both of them.

Alex had spent most of the night trying to help Jack get to sleep, singing the lullaby that he had sung when he himself was a younger child to help ease Jack's tension. After a couple of verses, Jack had begun to fall always soundlessly to his sleep and curled next to Alex for protection, not for himself though. Jack was always on guard duty, he never seemed to be comfortable unless he was completely sure that his family was at ease.

Alex just smiled slightly to himself and let out a soft breath.

Only to let it hitch in his chest as he felt something move against his back and sit up. The arm around his shoulder and torso becoming more evident as it moved and pulled him closer.

Jack's eyes snapped open and Alex gently pressed his finger to the back of Jack's ear, slowly letting it stroke down it once. Part of the silent language that the bonded two had worked on since they had both been young. This particular gesture meant: Wait. Listen. Alex kept his eyes closed but felt Jack move his small head ever so slightly with the fraction of a nod.

"They're still both asleep huh?" The soft voice behind them finally spoke.

Alex froze but it certainly had nothing to do with the sheer cold temperature of the tent. The hand around him gently stroked a lock of hair out of his eyes with sweet care and devotion before he felt the body against him shift and sit up. "Come on pal, they had a rough night. Let them have their lie in. Then we can all set off towards the next city and Alex can begin his journey as a Pokemon Co-ordinator." The voice mused that thought for a moment before Alex felt their gaze shift onto him. "I know that he's going to be amazing!"

So with the sound of the tent being unzipped and two different set of footsteps leaving before the tent was sealed. Alex sat up, only sure to do so when he had heard the footsteps retreat away and he was left alone with his partner.

Jack slowly sat up and swayed his tail slightly. He kept close to his trained, brushing Alex with his fur to keep the taller boy warm since the blond was trembling so much. But Alex just shook his head slightly. Alex was still trying desperately to piece together what had happened last night, it was all too much of a haze still with his exhaustion ebbing at him. He remembered trying to get Jack to sleep who had settled around about two o'clock in the morning. According to the boy's leather studded wrist band with the inbuilt watch, it was now eight and his head felt like it had been scrambled but he would have done it all again if it meant that Jack was okay-

He paused as it finally came back to him, how he had got himself into this situation.

They had left Ash and Pikachu only to walk into a storm after having gotten lost away from the main path. Jack had started getting scared because of the way the snow had been coming down. It had just been like that day which always seemed to scare Jack whenever the small Pokemon would think about it. So Alex had carried him for a few miles before eventually even the boy had grown beyond exhausted moving through the storm.

But of course. Ash had been close by with Pikachu still.

Not that both Jack and Alex were bitter... no. Pissed off would have been more accurate.

So with some help, Pikachu had watched Jack while Alex and Ash had set up the tent, just like they used to whenever they were on the beach. It had almost even felt like old times... except for the fact that Alex and Jack would give death glares which would make Ash and Pikachu flinch. Alex would mutter curses under his breath about how he could be so fucking unlucky, after not seeing them for so long, now he couldn't get away from them. Jack would growl at Pikachu whenever the other Pokemon tried to touch him, then eventually Alex had simply cuddled Jack back into his arms and sank into the tent. He had made dinner for the Pokemon and for Ash, (He was pissed off, not ungrateful. If he had anything left, he still had his morals.), then proceeded to try and coax Jack into eating something.

It hadn't gone unnoticed by Ash that Alex had ignored anything of doing food for himself.

Then around midnight, Alex himself had begun to feel like he was freezing from the subzero temperatures. Ash had turned over in his sleep, almost as though he could sense it still when Alex was in trouble. Just like he had done when they had been together, and had pulled the smaller boy close with one arm, while keeping his other arm around his Pikachu.

Alex didn't have the heart to wake the boy up. One of them may as well get some sleep.

But now Alex simply gritted his teeth and rubbed his forehead, his body trembling still with a far worse chill now that Ash wasn't huddled behind him, keeping him warm. His head hurt and his heart as equally so. What situation had he honestly got himself into? Day one of starting his journey and he had gotten lost through the forest and nearly put Jack into complete danger! Yet, only his, 'knight in shinning armor', (though he had a certain other choice select words for Ash), had come to help him, like he was some pathetic excuse for a damsel! It was humiliating!

The whole point of leaving his home was the fact that he had no intention to return there! He had lost far too much. Was burdened with far too many bad memories! He was going to find somewhere else to go. Get a job, win competitions to make money and then get a home that he and Jack deserved! He would get a job and settle down in some city or maybe even some remote area. He would find the place that he called home and would stay there with his family of Pokemon.

He turned his gaze back to the front of the tent and sighed through his grinding teeth. "Jack." He kept his voice as low as possible, till the Pokemon leapt into his arms. Looking at him with those soft brown eyes, already seemingly on the same thought level as Alex. "We have to get away from them. If we stay with them..." Alex shook his head, seeing his attitude already reflected by Jack. "We will never get away from them. We have to go." Alex paused for a moment about to reach out for his bag. "But only if you want to Jack. We're a team. That means we make decisions together as a team-"

But Jack had already grabbed the back pack and dragged it over to Alex who now smiled, stroking Jack's head affectionately. "Okay boy, let's go." He turned to look at the back of the tent. "Stealth slash!"

Jack bounded forward through the air as though he weighted nothing at all, his claws glowing and extending as he tore through the material of the tent like it was nothing and bounded through it into the nearby tree cover which was laid with snow.

Alex crouched, turning his gaze back towards the front of the tent where he saw Ash's shilouhete against the material, where he was sat with a flickering fire and with Pikachu. "I'm sorry Ash. One day I may be able to forgive. Maybe. But I will never, forget." He set his jaw stubbornly and bounded out through the opening of the material and into the forest where his journey now finally would begin.

-Four months later-

Ash kept his gaze on the floor of the clearing that he and his friend had set up camp in. The flicker of the fire was nice as a gentle breeze kept up a soft sway of the flowers and grass. The sweetness of the air was unrivaled. Ash guessed it was a nice break from all the snow they had been having, but Christmas wasn't far away and he couldn't help but think of a certain boy who had gone off the radar completely.
"Pika, Pika."

Ash turned his gaze down to his long time friend and gaze a sad smile, picking his buddy up and holding him close. "I know, I miss them as well." He said quietly.
"So is this the night you're finally going to tell me who it is that has you doting over them?" A voice teased.

Ash looked over slowly and saw the young man who had been his long time friend slowly walk into the clearing with a fond smile. He was dressed as he always was whenever they went out on a journey like this. The young man wore a orange and black pocketed sleeveless jacket over his light emerald shirt and loose cargo trousers with his usual blue trainers. His skin was deeply bronzed, his hair a wild arrangement which seemed uncontrollable. His eyes were narrowed as they always were but still had the same dark colour as his hair. Even though the boy spoke with a deep voice, his tone was always gentle and caring, especially now that he could see how upset his friend was.
"M-Maybe Tomorrow Brock." Ash said quietly, staring off into the fire.
"Must have been one beautiful girl to have you like this." Brock smiled.
Wrong. Ash thought, but only rested his head against Pikachu's, while his Pokemon looked up at him slowly with that stern look.
"Y-Yeah." Ash nodded, not looking down at Pikachu's narrowing eyes. "Yeah, she is."
"PIKA!" His buddy snapped.

Brock frowned ever so slightly on the inside but didn't let it show on his face as he looked between the Pokemon and the trainer. Something about Ash always seemed to so different now. He was still the same goofy boy with an ambition as tall as mountains. He was always there as a great friend, always the ever loving trainer who adored his Pokemon like no others... but something still seemed different to Brock about him.

It was Ash's eyes.

The boy seemed to be carrying around something which Brock hadn't noticed the first time that they had met, but now that he thought about it, he could remember it always being there. The weight of the world on Ash's shoulders which the boy had hidden behind a cocky smile. He had never been the same since he had gone back to his home town. Maybe that was where Ash had met this girl? Maybe it had something to do with her?

Brock only thought this because after Ash had turned up on his doorstep, asking his old friend how he felt about going back to journeying and seeing more Pokemon. Brock had seen the desperation in his friend's eyes. The pain which had set in deeply like a scar. Now Ash most days when he was left to his own thoughts, would just stare off into the fire, like he was seeing something else. Or someone else.

Brock knew about what it was like to fall in love... or at least, what it felt like to him. Sure, he fell in love with any girl which was pretty, but something about Ash, the way he looked sad. That was a love which ran deeper. But whenever Brock tried to bring it up, Pikachu would always get angry. The small Pokemon that Brock had never seen lose his cool a lot with his trainer, who had a bond as deep as they came. The small Pokemon would go quiet for hours, sparking bolts of lightning off himself and would sit by himself.

Something just wasn't right there.

But why would Ash try and hide it?

"So have you heard much from the others? Dawn was asking after you the other day on video call. So was Misty and May." Brock said casually, looking at Ash who just curled his hand slightly into a fist, while the black haired boy's eyes became a slight glare. "They said you hadn't been answering your calls or messages from them. They were growing worried-"
"I've just been busy is all." Ash said quietly while Pikachu leapt off his lap.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Brock said softly, taking a seat opposite Ash, and smiling fondly over his shoulder as he watched the group of their Pokemon tucking into dinner which he had made them.

Only Pikachu and Ash seemed to be the only ones without an appetite.

"Is one of them the girl which you can't stop thinking about?" Brock asked casually, making Ash's eyes snap up to him while the boy paled slightly, his eyes slightly shocked. The boy looked like a dear caught in headlights! Brock already knew the answer already; Of course it wasn't one of them. But still, he couldn't help but wonder how Ash would respond.

But his biggest curiosity came from looking at Pikachu who seemed to be watching his trainer with intent eyes. His cheeks' sparking slightly with electricity as he was awaiting the answer himself and with dark eyes narrowed, in expectation.

Ash stammered for a few minutes, looking between his friend and his best buddy in Pikachu. "I-I- They- It's complicated- I."

But finally the boy gulped and turned his eyes away guiltily as he said quietly. "Yes. It's one of them."
"PIKACHU!"

Both trainer and Brock watched as Pikachu unleashed a fierce bolt of lightning at the fire, making it explode while the Pokemon glared, it's body sparking angrily with frustration. "Piachu-" Ash began to reach out slowly but the Pokemon simply swatted away his hand with it's tail and took off across to the sleeping bag area.

Brock traced the movement with his eyes, watching both Ash for his reaction and thinking about the way that Pikachu had reacted. "He will calm down." Ash said quietly, poking at the fire before adding more wood onto it. "He just misses his friend too."

Brock watched the boy for a little longer, seeing how his eyes were dark. "You know, Dawn is in a Pokemon contest tomorrow in a town which isn't too far from here. Maybe we should go and see her, give her some support. It must have been ages since you both saw each other. Maybe seeing her will do you some good. Take your mind off things." Brock suggested and Ash paused for a long moment.
"She's up against some pretty rough competition tomorrow. She's actually quite nervous." Brock pondered deeply for a moment. "Some upcoming co-coordinator who has been working hard going through the competition. He's only a newbie but he's good."
"Some Newbie?" Ash frowned slightly.
"His stage name is 'The masquerade mirror'." Brock smiled slightly.
"Strange name."
"They say he calls himself that because no one has ever gotten close to him, but he always knows about his opponent. He reads them like an open book."
"Sounds like someone I used to know." Ash muttered, resting his chin on his knees. "Dawn is actually nervous about this? She's been doing it for god knows how long? What is some guy seriously going to be able to do to make her nervous?"
"You haven't been to a Pokemon contest in a long while have you?" Brock shook his head at his friend's attitude. "Ash, this guy is good. Dawn will have her work cut out for her. She's going to need all the help that she can get. So if us going out there is going to help her." Brock said a little more sternly to his friend, leaving no room for argument. "Then we're going to go and help her. She's done a lot for you over the years Ash! You know if it was you out there in a gym battle against a strong opponent, then she would do the same."
"Yeah." Ash said bitterly with cold eyes as he glared at the fire. "You're right. She's done a hell of a lot for me."

Brock fell into silence after that. He could see that his friend would come with him but still he was shocked to see such a deep bitter anger twisted in Ash' eyes. What was going on inside of Ash's head, that he wouldn't allow even Brock to know about? The dark haired boy just seemed to be so withdrawn through the last couple of months!

But Brock had thought that in all his time being in being friends with Ash. At least when it came to something as much as trusting and confiding in him.

Why had Ash outspokenly lied to him about liking one of the girls?