5) Dating
"Jarvis, how do I look?"
Tony Stark wasn't a man who needed someone's approvement. He really wasn't the man who asked anyone's opinion, he had an unveliebeable trust in himself, which was his gift, he trusted in people, in what people were capable of, he believed you had to be everything you always wanted to become. 'Cause if you are an atheist, just like him, then you really don't have anything left after death. You just get to have the daily breath to live up to it, to live fully. But now, he didn't know why and he didn't want to dig into it, but he was feeling a bit insecure, well not insecure, maybe less secure than what he usually was.
"You look great Mr. Stark" Jarvis replied.
"Great like, the daily great or like the stunning great?" Tony asked while looking at his reflection at the complete wall mirror he had at his bedroom. He was wearing tight jeans, a white shirt, a black blazer and some new black converse. His hair wavy and messy as always, he had some ray-bans sunglasses and was deciding whether to put a tie or not.
"Like the stunning great I believe" Jarvis said.
"You believe or you sure?" Tony asked again.
"Sir, you really are nervous."
"You think?" Tony asked sarcastically while putting around his neck a black skinny tie.
"I know for sure, I'm reading your human corporal responses and I can tell you haven't been this nervous since when you were dressing for Mrs. Potts wedding."
"Damn Jarvis, you really know how to give a man some security" Tony said sarcastically and Jarvis understood.
"I'd say without the tie Sir"
"Really?" Tony said looking pissed at the ceiling, he had already done the knot.
"Captain Rogers is waiting at the living room"
"Fuck" Tony said and messed with his hair a bit more "Jarvis, why am I being so fucking retarded about this? Is just a date you know, I've been in countless dates all my life, suddenly I'm losing my cool" Truth is, at his lamest and loneliest moment Tony had built Jarvis up, not only to do all the stuff Pepper didn't want to, but also to keep him some company. He bit his lip feeling hopeless.
"Sir, I truly believe you haven't liked anyone this much before, not even Mrs. Potts. But I also believe you are incapable of losing your cool"
"I don't like him like that Jarvis, is really different" Tony said.
"Well, I might not be a genius as yourself, but I can see through everything from a better angle than you"
"You're daring me Jarvis" Tony said mocking while taking his wallet and walking through the door, the voice followed him.
"Let's make a bet" Jarvis said and Tony laughed, like really laughed. Jarvis truly was smarter than what he thought he'd be. He didn't say anything, he arrived at the living room and found Steve in some nike black snickers, blue jeans, blue long-sleeve shirt, his blonde hair, his pale white skin, and those amazingly soft sharp blue eyes. Tony swallowed hard and smiled widely. "You look stunning" were the words that crossed Tony's mind, but he quickly tried to wipe them away.
"You looking good Cap" Tony said and Steve blushed a bit, looking down his eyes filled with a bit of disappointment? Tony couldn't tell.
"You look handsome Tony" Steve said shyly and Tony smiled.
"Always do" He said and both chuckled a bit.
He could feel steve's muscles tensed, the atmosphere was heavy to breath in, he really needed to stop being this nervous and play it cool, 'cause after all he was the one that used to tranquilize Steve's nerves.
"Come on, is not like we're getting married" Tony said and Steve laughed, the air was lighter.
"I mean, is not even possible"
"What? Me getting married? Or you marrying me?" Tony asked and saw how Steve blushed, both were now at the basement, stepping out of the elevator, Tony held his car key and pressed a button, the car came driving itself and lifted his doors, Steve's jaw dropped.
"I'm starting to believe everything's possible in this age" Steve said and Tony smiled.
"You mean, to marry me?" Tony asked and Steve rolled his eyes. Tony watched breathless, it was really sexy when Steve got embarrassed and annoyed by him.
"I meant the car" Steve said, his voice sharp.
"Yeah sure"
Tony drove like an hour, Steve was asking him about the city, the changes, the architectural movements, Tony was delighted, unlikely like everyone thought, he really liked art, well of course not every type of art, he thought those classics were pretty boring, but now, the modernism and new age of art, that really captivated him.
Steve saw the open road and wondered where they were heading to, but as always Tony didn't say a thing, he just smiled and said "knowing where you're heading to usually takes away all the fun" so Steve just sighed and tried to remember this roads. He couldn't. Everything was different. Then suddenly Tony turned around and took another road.
"Changed your mind?" Steve asked
"Actually I'm kidnapping you" Tony said and Steve smiled widely
"You know you're physically incapable"
"Are you calling me weak?" – Tony teased.
"Yes"
Tony smiled and kept driving, he really had changed his mind. I mean for the first time in a year he was feeling not only not miserable but "happy". He knew it wasn't going to last, 'cause every time he thought he was already set, something new happened. It was his karma and it had happened to him since he was a kid, like when he finally got brave enough and wanted to fix his problems with Howard, he died. When he was already leading Stark Industries and being the best at it, he got kidnapped. He was at his healthiest moment of his life living happily, and had poisoning in his blood thanks to the palladium, then when he got over everything and was iron man and about to propose to Pepper, she dumped him. So yes, his happiness was always closely followed by bitter and disappointment.
So why not enjoy it while you still have it? He didn't know what he had with Steve, he knew it was friendship, but he also knew he was falling, he could feel it, the way Steve smiled and talked, and when he tried to tease Tony. Damn, he could even say he already loved this kid. His innocence, his joy, his temper and the way he used to bit his lip and roll his eyes every time Tony got up into his nerves. He was starting to love him, and he knew, he didn't know why, but he knew this wasn't going to last.
So he just sighed and looked at him, looked at the way he was there, he had never felt this way, and he really didn't care, cause it wasn't going to last, because Tony Stark just couldn't be happy. He could taste happiness but not live in it. He knew, he had already gave up on it. He didn't deserve it, and he was fine with it.
So he drove to his plane hangar, they were two white boxes intersected that showed a bit of what was inside, at the top of the place "STARK" could be read in black, Steve was looking amazed, Tony drove inside it, he saw 4 parked planes, a helicopter, a quinjet, and some other "things", Steve really didn't know what were those.
"So you're bringing me to your Hangar? I mean, is not a bright place for kidnapping someone, I can fly one of those" Steve said pointing the largest plane, Tony smiled.
"The kidnap will happen after you get into the jet"
"Then, there's no really a kidnap you know?"
"You can close your eyes and I can pretend I am kidnapping you" Tony said and walked to a black tiny super aerodynamic private jet, Steve followed looking at every detail of that place.
"You really own a lot of stuff Tony "
"And you haven't seen the half of it" Tony said and took out his jet key, he opened the co-pilot door and bowed, he was inviting Steve in, the blonde one just shook his head and smiled, he got inside and bit his lip nervously. Tony closed the door and walked to the pilot seat, he opened the door and got inside.
"You know how to fly this?" Steve asked puzzled while looking at all the screens in the jet.
"You kidding me? I am an expert"
"Since when? – Steve asked amazed.
"Last week" Tony said and Steve swallowed hard.
The jet took off.
"Can I at least know where we're heading to now" Steve asked.
"No one's going to rescue you steve, then why you wanna know?"
"That's mean" Steve said and Tony felt a bit guilty, but he just smiled and unconsciously took Steve's hand in a way of saying "sorry", Steve looked terrified and pulled away. Tony was hard as rock, but at that moment he felt a bit broken, and pursed his lips remaining tense. Steve could feel him.
He didn't know what to do, he was shocked when Tony grabbed his hand and he was sweating, to only watch Tony gave him a heart attack, holding his hand was simply impossible. He didn't want Tony to feel rejected, he just wasn't used to it. Well… of course he wasn't, after being frozen so many years, but he clearly remembered how at his time gay people were harassed, beat up to death. He felt scared, unprotected, he remembered his mom's words when he had accidentally said he liked Bucky, she sat at his bed, looked him in the eye and said "You know this weird people is not accepted in heaven, we don't have to treat them wrongly Steve, we must respect. But keep in mind, God created Adan and Eve. All right? You can't like a boy honey, that's a disease, a mental disease and, it's an unforgivable sin"
Steve felt the weight of his past, his manners, his ideology, he felt guilty, impure, not doing the right thing, damaging himself and Tony. No, tony no. He couldn't let anything bad happen to Tony. He loved him. Damnit! His eyes started to get watery and looked down into the clouds, he was trying to hide himself from Tony. He was so weak, so breakable, he was fucking Captain America! He couldn't be this soft. It was a moral debate in which he was the worst of them all, he was sick, he was sinning, he loved a guy. And not just any guy, he loved a narcissist, weapon-maker, playboy, egocentric, and liar. This was getting worse at every second he spent with him. He was terrible.
Tony stood quiet, he could feel the air tense up again, I mean, does this kind of uncomfortable situations were going to be a daily basis? He couldn't tell, he sighed in exasperation, he was about to tell Steve something hurtful, cause he was hurt, and every time he felt weak he managed to make the person that had hurt him feel even weaker. But he saw, he caught in a glimpse of an eyes Steve's watery eyes and desperation. So he just bit his lip and looked at him.
"Hey Steve, you're great" He said and could hear Steve swallowing while he tried to discretely wipe his non fallen tears. Tony pretended he didn't see him.
"You are amazing Tony, I just, I'm having a bit of a problem, understanding the social norms and changes this age has made"
"Fuck social norms. Those who mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind" Tony said and Steve chuckled.
"Have you always been this immoral?" Steve asked and Tony laughed.
"You haven't seen a bit of it"