100 Tales of the Marauders

Year: 7th

Genre: Humor

What to expect:In short: Insanity. Pure insanity. Teaser? An endless laughing fit for Mr. Prongs. Lots and lots of name calling! Also--ROCK N ROLL! WOO! And whole bunches of "oomph"! (This will make sense - relatively speaking - soon. xD)

Rating: K+ or T. Take your pick. -shrugs-

by: Sirius' Girl, with a lot of help from her friends.

So, first and foremost, I want to thank my friend Magnas for a- inspiring the idea for the fic, b- coming up with title ideas, because I am horrible at naming things, especially stories, and c- finding a picture for me so I actually know what the hell a 1977 radio looks like now. xD May I add helping pick out the songs and deciding how to end the fic? I told you I had a bunches of help. xD Also to James for voting on certain things and making this fic possible.

Also, a great big loves and hugs to my little sister - who? James' Girl, of course! -laughs- Just because she's special like that. And she's cute enough to be cuddled that much, so there. xD And she also helped with songs stuffs too so yeah. x3

Lyrics from a random lyrics site as always...

DEDICATION: Nii-san, this fic is for you. x)

Also, no one quote That 70s Show at me. Like I said, I didn't come up with the title. I've never seen it. xD (The show...)

That 70s Contraption

by

Sirius' Girl

or

Mrs Padfoot

-:- I solemnly swear I'm up to no good! -:-

"Hey James, lookit that."

"Hunnh?" James Potter grunted, looking out from under a copy of the Daily Prophet that had been spread over his face. Sirius had prodded him out of what had been on its way to being a rather nice doze. "What'm I lookin' at?" he slurred sleepily.

"That you nitwit, can't you see it?" Sirius said, pointing to a table halfway across the Gryffindor common room where a small black contraption sat.

"Yes, I see it. What about it?"

"What is it?"

"A radio, you idiot."

"What kind of radio is that?" Sirius asked, frowning at the device. James sighed. He just wasn't going to get any sleep.

"It's a Muggle radio," he replied.

"A Muggle radio? What's it doing here?"

"Muggle Studies most likely."

"Oh yeah..." Sirius left his seat on one of the big plush chairs and crossed the room to the Muggle radio, picking it up in his hands and turning it over. "What's with this knob right here? And these buttons?"

"I don't know, I've never used a Muggle radio before."

A grin crept onto Sirius' face. "Let's figure this thing out," he said, sitting next to his friend with the radio in his lap.

"And by 'figuring this thing out', you of course mean..."

"A radio-ectemy!"

"You're losing your edge, Padfoot. Couldn't you have called it something... I don't know. Something with more oomph."

"Oomph? You're saying I don't have any oomph? What would you call it then, oh mighty possessor of the oomph?" Sirius retorted, sarcasm drenching his statement.

"A radio-ectemy."

"I thought that didn't have any oomph," Sirius pouted at his friend.

"Sure it does. When I say it." James grinned. Sirius punched his arm.

"You dolt. C'mon, let's do this!"

x-x-x Ten Minutes Later x-x-x

"OUCH! JAMES GETTITOFF! IT'S TRYING TO EAT ME!" Sirius Black's voice screeched.

Lily thought her heart would leap from her chest. What on earth...? she wondered, pushing the Fat Lady's portrait all the way open and stepping into the common room. A unique sight greeted her.

Sitting in the middle of the common room floor were James and Sirius. Between them was a Muggle radio--her radio, she realized. Several buttons lay on the floor around them. The reason for Sirius' shouts of the radio trying to eat him was the panel on the front of the radio with the station numbers on it. He had apparently tried to pry it backwards and stick his hand inside of the thing, and it instead closed on his wrist. Sirius Black had single-handedly gotten his hand stuck inside a Muggle radio, and was still shouting at his partner in crime to help him. James wasn't going to be of any help to him, however. He had collapsed backwards on the couch with laughter and couldn't seem to reign control over himself. He caught sight of Lily, standing there staring at the whole scene, and dissolved into hysterics again.

"Lily!" he gasped. "Lily--Sirius--!"

"Yes, I see that," Lily said dryly.

"Lily," Sirius whined, "can't you get this thing--ow, don't kick me James!--get it off me!" he shouted, attempting a retaliatory kick at his fellow Marauder. He missed horribly, managing to overbalance himself and tip over backwards. This turn of events served only to send James into more spasms of giggles. Lily rolled her eyes. With a flick of her wand, she easily freed Sirius' hand from the radio. He winced, rubbing his sore wrist.

"Now would you mind telling me what exactly you were doing with my radio?" she demanded, crossing her arms.

James and Sirius glanced at each other. "A radio-ectemy!" they chirped in unison. Lily stared at them.

"A--A what?" James opened his mouth to explain. Lily quickly cut him off. "Nevermind, nevermind... I think I get it. I need this for a project I'm doing, mind not doing any operations on it until I'm done with it?" she asked of them, repairing the dismantled radio as she spoke.

"Sure babe," James grinned.

Lily sighed, holding the radio in her hands. "I wonder what they're playing...?"

"Won't matter, it won't--"

"--work at Hogwarts, yeah, well, I've done my own experimenting with this one," Lily said with a smile. She pressed a button and static blared out at them.

"That is Muggle music?" Sirius said, confused.

"No, you fleabag, that's static," Lily retorted, starting to fiddle with the dials. James snickered at the 'fleabag' remark. Sirius gave them both an irritated look. Suddenly, a song blared over the loudspeakers. The trio listened to the lyrics - "I want to reach out and touch the sky. I want to touch the sun but I don't need to die."

"Say what?" Sirius asked.

"I like it," James grinned, staring avidly at the speakers.

"How do you understand the lyrics?"

"I'm gonna climb up

On the mountains of the moon

And find a distant man

A-waving his spoon..."

"I don't." Sirius stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. "What, you don't like it?"

"What do you mean, I don't like it? I love it. But what's he saying?"

"Something about the sun and moon I think."

"I've crossed the ocean, turned everything

I found the crossing near a golden rainbow's end

I've been through magic and defied reality

I've lived a thousand years and it never bothered me."

Lily giggled. "That's Black Sabbath," she informed them.

"Black Sabbath, huh?" Sirius grinned and shared a glance with James. "They've got it, huh?"

"Got what?" Lily asked, bemused.

"Got no religion

Don't need no friends

Got all I want

And I don't need to pretend."

"The oomph," James said, nodding sagely. Deciding she wouldn't even bother to ask, Lily began fiddling with the dials again. More static greeted their ears, along with snatches of commercial jingles. Sirius looked disappointed about the loss of the sounds of Black Sabbath. Lily whizzed through several stations. She caught part of a song and settled on it with an excited squeak.

"KISS!" she shouted.

"You don't have to ask..." James said, smirking at her. Lily rolled her eyes.

"KISS is a band, oh wise one," she said.

"You show us everything you've got

You keep on dancing and the room gets hot.

You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy!"

"Hey, I like this one already," Sirius said with a sly smile.

"You say you wanna go for a spin

The party's just begun, we'll let you in

You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy!

You keep on shoutin', you keep on shoutin'..."

Lily took a great breath and sang along with the chorus: "I... wanna rock and roll all niiiight... and party every day!"

"Well dear, why didn't you ever say something?" James asked, grinning like a fool and sweeping Lily into his lap. Lily shrieked with laughter and kicked a leg.

"Watch it!" Sirius shouted, barely avoiding a broken nose due to Lily's foot. "New song, new song!" he shouted, trying to distract the annoyingly happy couple.

"Okay, okay," Lily said, giggling, turning the knob on the radio once more. She found a station and stopped on it with another giggle as the song's lyrics started.

"If I leave here tomorrow

Would you still remember me?

For I must be travelling on, now,

'Cause there's too many places I've got to see..."

"FREEBIRD!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, exploding into a fit of giggles. It was her turn to get the look from James and Sirius that said obviously she has lost her mind.

"Um... what?" James said, staring at the redhead still laughing before him.

"N-nothing, nothing..." she said, green eyes glittering from glee and began changing the channels again. Sirius looked at James, who looked just as utterly lost as his friend. "It's a thing... at concerts... it's hard to explain..." she said, shrugging.

"Oookay..." Sirius said slowly, looking once more at his best friend. He had an odd twinkle in his eye. Sirius waited for the inevitable impish grin to follow--which it did. "Oi Prongs, what's with the mischief-making look?" Sirius said eagerly.

"They play concerts," he said simply. Sirius' face soon split into an equally impish grin.

"INVASION TACTICS!" Sirius shouted at the top of his voice. "MOONY! WORMTAIL! Get down here, we gotta mission!"

"You know, tickets are expensive..." Lily was trying to tell them. It was no use. She sighed. "I have a feeling I will regret this," she muttered under her breath.

Bwahahaha... Yes I'm insane. Yes my friend are insane. Yes James and Sirius are insane. Yes we're all insane. Aren't you happy now?

What have I got to say after that? ...

ROCK AND ROLL! -headbangs-