A Spark of Madcraft

By: Bubbajack

Beta: Diller

Disclaimer: I do not own FSN, Genius Girl, or anything else that may or may not make it into this fic.

Ch.4: The Will and Way to Fight.

"Where there's a will there's a way, and I have a will."- Donkey from Shrek voiced by Eddie Murphy

Shirou was conflicted on several levels. On one hand, he knew Sakura or he thought he did. 'Why would she let her Servant rampage out of control like that? Didn't she care about hurting innocent civilians?'

Then there was the problem of the three near cationic girls from his school that had been sitting silently and listlessly in front of his dining room table. The last problem was…

"Oi Emiya-kun; are you listening to me?!" Tohsaka ranted getting his attention.

Glancing at her he replied "Not really no Tohsaka. I've got a lot on my mind at the moment you see."

Tohsaka narrowed her eyes slightly at his cheek before she sighed saying "Yeah, yeah I guess I can't blame you for being distracted after what just happened."

She then gained her air of superiority and continued "But you need to focus! What are you going to do about those three?!" she asked while pointing at her three traumatized classmates.

Shirou shrugged "Isn't it your job as Second Owner to deal with this kind of thing, not mine?"

Tohsaka staggered as if she had just been stabbed by an invisible spear for a moment before she straightened and clearing her throat said briskly "You're right Emiya-kun; I should just erase their memories and be done wi-"

For the first time since being led into his house one of the girls, Kaede Makidera finally spoke in a hollow broken voice "Erase our memories? That's your solution to this Tohsaka?" Kaede let out a twisted scoff and finished "With a friend like you, I'm glad I don't have any real enemies."

Out of the corner of his eye, Shirou saw Rin flinch at Makidera's words. 'Nicely done Tohsaka. Just treat it like what they went through didn't matter why won't you?'

Sighing Shirou sat down across from Kaede and began "Makidera-san-"

"Call me Kaede, Emiya you and you're…" She looked at Laura at a loss for words.

"The proper term for them is Servant, but I prefer friends." Shirou supplied.

"Give us time and you'll be calling us more than just your 'friends' Shirou." Caster promised with a saucy wink.

"Oi, back off furball! I haven't cleared any of you to be anything more than friends with him at the moment." A redheaded blue-eyed older woman stated as she walked into the room throwing her arms around him and kissing his cheek in a clearly possessive display of affection.

Gently pushing her off of him with a blush on his face, Shirou stuttered "A-Aoko! Not in front of the guests!"

"Emiya-san, just what is this woman's affiliation with you? Kane asked pushing her glasses up.

Suppressing a sigh; the third rate magus replied "She is my fiancé and has been betrothed to me since I was eight."

"Wow, she's so pretty Shirou-san congratulations." Yukika Saegusa said seemingly having regained her nerves and her kind, caring, and upbeat attitude in the process.

Scratching the back of his head Shirou replied "Thanks Saegusa-san, can I get you, Himuro-san, and Kaede-san anything?"

Smiling at him sweetly she replied "Some green tea would be nice if it isn't too much trouble."

As Shirou left towards the kitchen she called after him, saying with a slight blush "And please call me Yukika Shirou-san as a t-thank you for saving me."

"Feel free to address me as Kane, Shirou-san." The silver haired high jumping ace muttered taciturnly while suddenly finding the tabletop very interesting.

"Right, I'll be right back with tea for everyone Kaede-san, Kane-san, Yukika-san please make yourself at home in the meantime."

After she was sure he was entrenched in his kitchen Aoko started chuckling drawing the eyes of everyone present, and causing Alice who had both just walked into the room Soujūrou to ask stoically with her left eyebrow raised just a hair "What is so amusing Aoko?"

Wiping away a false tear the Fifth Magician replied "Nothing just marveling at the old 'Emiya charm'. This makes what; twelve now?"

Alice blinked once before saying "Last I checked, he only had five. You, Tono and her two maids, and Ceil."

Tutting at the Kuonji witch, Aoko replied "You clearly haven't been paying attention Alice. As his Nee-chan it's your job to know these things."

This caused Alice to visibly narrow her eyes and say "Shut up and explain Miss Blue."

A sudden awkward squeak was heard, and Aoko glanced over to see the other Master Shirou helped Tohsaka looking at her pale faced and wide eyed.

Chuckling awkwardly Aoko replied "I think you broke her Alice. Anyway, I forgot how protective you are of our dear Shirou."

Alice merely kept glaring in silence, causing Aoko to sigh and say "Fine, All four of his Servants and his three- no, make that four rescues."

Alice looked into the eyes of the eight aforementioned women one by one, and when she looked at them, they each felt as if the stoic woman was staring into the depths of their very soul, nodding once at each of them before moving on. Finally she turned to Aoko and said "Their intentions are pure."

"What the hell was that about?" Kaede asked saying what was on everyone else was thinking.

Aoko just shook her head and said "Don't worry about it, just know that even though he doesn't realize it, Shirou is special. He is unnaturally charismatic causing both men and women flock to his side. Women want to be with him, and men wish to fight alongside him. Combine that with his genius intellect-"

Aoko was cut off by the Tohsaka heir's scoff. "Emiya, a genius? I admit he's pretty bright to summon four Servants at once, but he's no genius. He's barely holding an average at school, not that it matters now."

Before Aoko could open her mouth to respond, Alice beat her to it. "Shirou does possess genius level intellect, he just couldn't display it until recently due to…certain unknown restrictions."

Leveling a look at the black haired witch, Rin asked "That wouldn't have anything to do with that locket of his would it?"

Keeping her face a blank slate Alice replied "What makes you think that Heir of Tohsaka?"

Smiling like the Cheshire cat Fuyuki's Second Owner replied "When I found him, Emiya was as good as dead, stabbed in the heart by this Grail War's Lancer. I revived him-using the most powerful gem in my possession by the way-and followed him home to make sure he got there safely, only to watch as he made a D-rank Mystic Code out of random junk and then summoned not one but four Servants!"

Rin fumed for a bit only for her red and blue clad Servant to materialize and quip "Sorry about her, she's…temperamental."

"Shut up you smart ass." Rin bit out.

"Better a smart ass, then a dumbass." The Servant pointed out.

This statement caused Rin to groan and say "Just, just shut up Spider-man."

Most of the Servants and surprisingly Yukika gasped in surprise. The Servants at the fact that a Master would so casually flaunt her Servant's true name amongst the enemy and as for Yukika…

"You're really the Spider-man?" she asked.

"Unless my name has changed since the last time I checked the waistband of my suit, yes, yes I am. What can I do for you miss?" the masked hero asked.

Yukika shook her head still smiling and replied "Not for me but for my younger brothers. They are huge fans of yours and would love to meet you."

For someone who crawled on walls, this threw even him for a loop "I have fans here?"

"Yes of course you probably wouldn't know-" Yukika muttered as she ruffled around in her backpack before pulling out a slim volume and handing it too him and watching as his masks eyeholes widened in shock as he stared at the image of himself on the cover.

She was silent for a moment letting it sink in before she said "Here, you are a western comic book hero."

Talon then spoke up "What about me?"

"You too, Talon-san. Both you, Spider-man and the people you know are characters created by a company called Marvel comics."

Yukika smiled warmly at her before bowing a bit and saying "It's a pleasure to meet you in person, I'm a big fan."

Laura didn't know how to take this. She wasn't a hero like Spiderman she didn't have 'fans' she was a cold hardened killer. So the best she could do was say awkwardly "Umm, thanks."

Clearing her throat to get everyone's attention Lacer asked Rin "Why did you just reveal your Servant's name?"

Rin smirked for the second time since arriving at the Emiya Estate and opened her mouth to answer only to be beat to the punch by Talon who replied "It's something akin to a Class Skill that both Spiderman and I possess. We were heroes who went under false names when we did heroic deeds in life and because of that, so long as you don't know our true names, our stats and alignment remain hidden even from our master's. Right Rin?" Talon finished with a smirk.

Closing her mouth with a snap and grimacing Rin silently nodded, confirming her suspicions.

Shirou suddenly reappeared holding a silver tea tray that had several cups of fine china and a porcelain tea pot on it as well as a bag of shortbread cookies. Upon seeing Rin's face he became concerned and asked "Tohsaka, is everything ok?"

Sighing Rin replied "Shut up Emiya, just shut up."

Shirou felt a chill run down his spine when he heard Aoko ask in an all too sweet voice "What's this I hear about you dying Shi-rou-kun?"

Shirou was saved from having to answer by Spiderman suddenly hitting his knees and screaming "OH MY GOD! All this time, all this time he was RIGHT."

"What, what is it Webs?" Laura asked concerned.

"Wade…" the Wallcrawler whispered in fear.

"What about him? She asked fearing she'd run into him at some point and been poisoned.

"He…was right…all those times we thought he was spewing crazy shit… He. Was. Right…" the Web Head whispered in sickened shock.

Talon stared at him silently for a moment with her mouth agape, before she too hit her knees and started chorusing along with the friendly neighborhood hero "HE WAS RIGHT, HE WAS RIGHT, ALL THIS TIME, WADE WAS RIGHT!"

In another place, in a completely separate universe, the clacking a computer keyboard would have been heard ceaselessly for the past three days. Several empty carafes of the 'almost absolutely perfect blend of coffee ever' lay scattered around the room as the person within had not slept in days.

The sound of a knock at the door was ignored so absorbed was the person in their task, as was the sound of the door opening and it was only when the sound of approaching footsteps were heard that the occupant of the room spoke, neither turning around nor stopping in its task in a feminine voice that was raw and scratchy from misuse "What do you want Kolee?"

"How did you know it was me Zumil?"

A mirthless laugh echoed across the room before she answered "You're the only one who could ever possibly sneak up on me Zeetha." The woman said before stopping and turning around.

Agatha Heterodyne stood framed in the light of a giant supercomputer. Now thirty-eight; she still wore her golden-red hair long and straight and it had lengthen to the back of her knees. She still required glasses, but they were now in a sideways hexagon shape and much smaller than before, merely framing her eyes. Her chest and figure were as big and as well-kept as ever, the latter of which Zeetha approved of, as she had not spent all this time training her just for her to let herself go. Still, it was clear she needed some rest or at least a shower as her golden hair was shining with grease, black circles were under her eyes, and her aged bronze colored dress that cut off just above her thighs and light brown leather bodice was covered in various coffee stains.

Pacing back and forth in thigh high leather riding boots, Agatha spoke rapidly, turning on her heel every now and again "I'm so close, so close to finding him Zeetha! In the past two days his Spark has activated three times! Three TIMES, ZEETHA!" She said before flopping back down into her high-backed oxblood leather swivel chair and muttering "My dear sweet little William is alive."

The Head of House Heterodyne looked up as she felt her old friend and mentor's hand rest comfortingly on her shoulder and listened silently as she said "Agatha, we'll find him, we will. In fact, I came here at my husband's request to tell you that he and…your former husband have sent someone to William's location and have tasked him to bring him back to Castle Heterodyne."

This bit of information caused Agatha to bolt to her feet and shout "WHAT?! How, no wait-who? Who did they send Zeetha?" suddenly becoming frantic.

"They sent Othar's Uncle Henderson." Seeing the shocked looking on her Zumil's face she asked "Agatha, what's wrong?"

"He's going to die…my little William is going to be killed." Agatha muttered in a shocked tone as she slowly shook her head back and forth.

"Agatha?" Zeetha asked confused.

"No, no, no, no NO! I won't let this happen damn it!" Agatha said as she jumped up from her seat and headed for the door, calling out to her Castle to 'Fire up the walkthrough shower and to get me a clean outfit, a travel bag, and transport to Castle Tryggvassen ready in twenty!'

"Agatha!" Zeetha called causing her to turn around as she had already half stripped out of her clothes and asked "Yes Zeetha? What is it?"

Ignoring the fact that her Zumil was naked in front of her from the waist up Zeetha replied "You'll need to head to Sturmhalten."

"Did you hear that Castle?! Change of plans, we're going to Sturmhalten!" Agatha hollered before shrugging herself out of the remains of her clothes and walking forward as a long beige curtain, several faucets and mechanical arms brandishing soap and brushes, and finally at the end were a pair of arms holding a black and gold vine embroidered dress.

Zeetha walked alongside her friend on the opposite side of the curtain saying "I'm sorry Agatha, I didn't realize my husband was being his usual conniving self. I've been busy recently teaching Sonja the way of Kolee-dok-Zumil."

"Don't blame yourself Zeetha, how's my niece doing by the way? Agatha asked as she slipped into her new dress, referring to Sonja.

"She does her mother and aunt proud, she is shaping up to be a fine warrior-woman and shall be an even better Kolee when the time comes for her to choose."

Agatha stepped out from behind the long curtain just as the mechanical hands finished lacing up the oxblood colored leather bodice that came with her dress as well as fitting her with matching steel toed hiking boots, looking at her Kolee with an insane and borderline sadistic smile on her face she said cheerfully "Let's go reprimand to the men in our lives, shall we?"

Returning the smile with an accompanying nod Zeetha queen of Skifander and the Sturmhalten kingdom, accompanied Agatha Heterodyne some eleven years past known as Agatha Tryggvassen, back to her home in the hopes of finding her son and heir to both her, and her ex-husbands Houses.

'I truly hope this all works out for you my Zumil I really do.' Zeetha thought as she followed her flaxen haired friend out the front doors of her Castle and onto a waiting blimp.

Back in the Nasuverse Shirou and co had just finished their tea during which Shirou had explained everything that was really going on, that the 'gas leaks' and 'mysterious disappearances' were likely the result of the actions of Servants and they were all battling for a magical wish granting device.

"Oi Emiya, so let me see if I've got all this straight. You and Tohsaka are mages?"

"Correct."

"You can do honest to goodness magic?" she asked with heavy skepticism in her voice.

In response Shirou projected a simple kitchen knife in a flash of golden light.

Kaede nodded, you've just what are you going to do about this anyway?" Kaede asked bluntly.

"Do?" Rin asked with a raised eyebrow "The only thing he can do is fight."

"That's the whole problem!" the dark-skinned girl exploded "If he fights chances are innocent people are gonna get hurt damn it! What the hell were either one of you thinking entering into this thing?!"

Shirou finally glanced up from the table and looked at the enraged track star calmly and said "I didn't 'sign up' for anything Kaede-san, I was chosen. To not participate would mean I would likely be permanently crippled as the Command Seals-"

Shirou waved his left hand, showing his left arm covered in crimson a tattoo of a flaming skull impaled by a sword before continuing-"Are connected to my magic circuits which are a part of my soul, and what happens to the soul is reflected upon the body. If they were to be removed I would be crippled for life.

Shirou suddenly stood up "But more than that, if I were to not participate, that would run the risk of hundreds if not thousands of innocent people being hurt if some crazy asshole got ahold of the Grail. And that is not something I can just sit back and watch, not if I can do something about it. Now; if you'll excuse me, I need to go and think of what to make for dinner for roughly a dozen people!"

After Shirou left the table Yukika couldn't help but notice that Shirou had a lot on his mind. For the most part he was quiet, staring silently at the bare table top, with a scowl on his face. Now; Yukika knew she should be more concerned about the fact that magic was real, and that a secret war was taking place around innocent civilians, or the fact that her brothers could be hurt…

'But I'm not strong enough to do anything about any of this. I don't have a Servant's strength or a mages abilities. But one thing I can do…one thing I can do is listen.' She thought before she plucked up her courage and went after him.

She found him by following the sound of music. She found him in what could only be a dojo, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the room as 'Boom, Boom, Boom' by John Lee Hooker blared through the speakers in the background. Calmly assuming seiza position and sitting on her heels across from him she asked her host concernedly "Shirou-san, is something wrong?"

Her host snapped his head up as if in a daze and said "Hmm, oh yes, I'm…I'm fine Yukika-san."

She kept her concerned look on her face as she gave him a pointed look saying "What's really bothering you Shirou-san?"

Sighing and rubbing his eyes, the third-rate magus replied "Well I'm not sure if I have the means to protect all of you at the moment. I need to pick up more food, lots of it, and Sakura knows where I live, I have little to no defenses and nothing that can keep back a Servant like that Rider. Plus, although Rin is has saved my life and is staying here at the moment, I'm not entirely sure if I can trust her not to stab me in the back at her most convenient opportunity or at least I don't trust her Servants not to! To top it all off, I don't know what to make for dinner!" he finished huffing slightly.

Yukika simply sat there silently for a time before saying "So…do you feel better now that you got all of that off your chest?"

"Yes, a little. Thank you for listening Yukika-san. But I'm worried about something else too." Shirou admitted.

Cocking her head to the side Yukika asked "What is it Shirou-san?"

Clearing his throat awkwardly for a moment, he replied "Well that depends, what do you intend to do now that you know what's going on?"

Clasping her hands in her lap, the brunet looked down and said "I can't see myself doing much; I mean, even if I went to the police they wouldn't believe me, and I'm not a mage so I can't help during the fighting, but I guess I can do my best to provide moral support to both you and Tohsaka-sempai and make sure you receive proper medical treatment."

"You know about medicine?" the redhead asked surprised.

"Oh yes, I took a first aid course. It's a need to know when you're raising five younger brothers all by yourself."

The moment the words left her mouth Yukika's eyes widened in shock and she covered her mouth with her hand for a moment before whispering "Please don't tell anyone Shirou-san! If you do, they'll take my brothers away and I don't want that!"

Brow crinkling in confusion Shirou asked "What do you mean Yukika-san, what's going on, just who do you think is coming to take away your brothers?"

"C-child Welfare, t-they think my parents left on a really long b-b-business t-trip! Truth is they died in the Fuyuki Fire on the way to the airport."

Shirou was silent for a moment silently debating whether or not to ask what was on his mind Yukika made up his mind for him however "I'm sure you're wondering how I managed to fool child services for the past ten years huh?"

"Well honestly, yeah." He replied motioning her to continue.

"Well I have a neighbor who is a NEET and using a voice mail set up by my parents he managed to create a voice synthesizer so that whenever anyone called they would think they were talking to my mother."

Shirou nodded in understanding "Ah, that's pretty smart-"He paused before asking "But what DID YOU do for money?"

"Oh well I did random little odd jobs here and there. I helped advertise for a new store, I'd stock shelves, I'd deliver letters that sort of thing."

Shirou briefly refinished about all the time he spent at the Copenhagen and going with Raiga on his hobbies and he couldn't help but think that Yukika was a lot like himself before he had to correct that line of thought 'She had to do odd jobs, people were depending on her looking up to her…'

"In their eyes you're their hero." Shirou muttered to himself causing the brown haired girl to cock her head to the said and ask "What was that Shirou-san?"

Shaking himself out of his reverie the magus replied "Your brothers' everything you've done for them, it wouldn't surprise me if they look up to you like some kind of hero."

This caused Saegusa to blush at the praise and say "I-I don't know about that-"She then offered him a kind smile and finished "But it was kind of you to say, thank you."

Yukika then stood up and after dusting off her skirt said "Don't worry about dinner I know how to cook so I can handle that. As for Tohsaka-sempai while I'm surprised she is a mage, I don't think she's a bad person, and her Servants are both wounded and outnumbered two to one so no problems there. As for everything else; just take a deep breath let it out and then take it one step at a time alright?"

Doing as his schoolmate suggested, Homurahara's Brownie took a deep breath and then slowly let it all out, and as he did so, he felt tension leaving his shoulders' he didn't even know was there. Smiling, he then stood himself and gave her a thankful smile saying "I leave dinner in your capable hands."

Just as he was about to leave the room he turned and asked "Yukika-san, if hypothetically you could get the power to do more in this War, would you take it?"

Shirou held up a hand to forestall her answer as he finished "Even if attaining that power could very well cost you your life?"

Much to his surprise she hardly hesitated. Her eyed becoming firm with resolve Yukika Saegusa replied "I would, I can't just walk away; not now that I know that people's lives are in danger, that my brother's lives could be put in danger! So if there was any way I could help and somehow protect my family and friends I'd do it."

"And that goes double for us!" a new voice added, butting into the conversation.

Looking out the door he held ajar, Shirou found both Kaede and Kane standing there, with Kaede leaning against the wall and pointing at both herself and the ever calm and stoic Kane who silently nodded in support of Panther of Homurahara's idea.

"Oi, were you two eavesdropping?" Shirou asked, semi annoyed that he couldn't have a private conversation in his own home.

Kane shook her silver locks and replied "No Shirou-san, we merely heard you both when you opened the door and someone decided to add her two cents." Kane finished while giving an abashed looked Kaede a mild sideways glare.

"Are you sure about this, you could die you know?" the third rate magus warned.

"We all gotta die sometime Red." Kaede said mimicking a bad American accent.

Looking at her in confusion it was Kane who replied "Platoon is one of Kaede-chan's favorite movies."

"Oh." Was all Shirou could manage to say in response.

"Yeah well, my choices in movies aside, don't worry about dinner we'll handle it, ne?" Kaede promised boisterously before moving aside to let her host past.

As much as Shirou loved cooking and valued his time in the kitchen he knew that in this case it was best to simply concede this time and get to work on his latest project. "Ok, I'm leaving it up to you five."

"Five?" Kane questioned, to which Shirou nodded and replied "Yes, the earlier today Caster and Aoko-chan tried to make me breakfast but were nearly blown up by an enemy Servant instead. So I would appreciate it if the three of you could work with the two of them to come up with something."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you nearly got blown up…this morning and one of your biggest concerns is what to make for dinner?! There is something wrong with your priorities Emiya." Kaede said as she face palmed herself.

"Hey, I had Caster lay down some seriously heavy Bounded Fields-what I mean to say is, magical barriers-Shirou corrected after seeing the confused looks on the trio's faces-"So there's no way that any Servant aside from another Caster is going to be able to enter this place without my say so."

All three heaved a sigh of relief after hearing that unknowingly causing their host to roll his eyes before saying "Assassin?"

The voluptuous woman from earlier appeared seemingly out of thin air in all her biker-like glory landing in a crouch before straightening and saying calmly with a slight smirk on her face upon seeing the shocked looks of the track team trio "Yes Shirou?"

Did you manage to get the last piece I required before getting drawn into that fight at the school?" he asked.

In response Laura reached into her pants pocket and pulled out a small cardboard box labeled '9cm Sub-Arachnoid Block needles. One hundred count. "I doubled back after the fight, to pick these up, but I got em."

Taking the package and smiling Shirou said "Perfect thank you, now I have another job for you, but first I need to talk with Tohsaka."

Shirou then led the way out into the living room where Tohsaka and her Servant Spiderman sat watching television. Well Rin sat; Spiderman hung upside-down from the ceiling by a line of webbing.

"I hope you clean up after yourself Spiderman-san, while I do not mind having you here I would appreciate it if you didn't leave cobwebs everywhere." Shirou said mildly annoyed with an equally cross look coming over his face.

"Relax chief, this stuff will disappear in about an hour, so no harm no foul right?" the web head said dropping down from his webline.

"Ah that's fine then. Tohsaka-san?" Shirou said getting the Average One's attention.

"Hmm what is it Emiya-kun?" Tohsaka asked looking away from the film, which Shirou briefly noticed was actually starring her Servant and said "Yukika-san, Kane-san, and Kaede-san are going to make dinner with Aoko and Caster. Do you know where they are?"

"They said something about sparring in the back yard." Responded halfhearted paying more attention to the program than her host.

"What?!" Shirou yelled nervously before rushing to the back yard. Throwing open the screen door, he found his Servant of the Sword and his Fiancé going at it hard. He watched as Aoko ducked a steel colored blur that was Altria's sword before delivering a punishing uppercut and launching the blonde Saber into the air before intoning "Missiles Fire!"

Milliseconds later, more than twenty bolts of light zoomed towards the airborne Servant only to dissipate when they came into contact with her due to her A-rank magic resistance. Thus, Saber managed to use her upward momentum to her advantage, doing a downward overhead chop with her magnificent sword and impact the ground shattering the earth and sending Aoko flying off her feet and dazing her.

Before the Fifth Magician could regain her feet, she found Saber's blade at her throat, with the blonde haired Servant looking down at her coolly and asking "Do you yield?"

Instead of answering Aoko leaned back and kicked upwards, sending Altria's blade way off course as she regained her feet and then prana coating her hands threw a punch that sent the Servant of the Sword flying backwards and laying sprawled in the dirt, where Aoko asked "I was going to ask you the same question Saber-chan."

Quickly getting to her feet, Altria scowled at the use of the suffix attached to her class and was about to charge full bore at the redheaded woman when she heard the voice of her master yell "That's enough you two!"

Both Magician and Servant turned to find an irritated Shirou marching his way across his now destroyed backyard towards them. They froze for a moment before staring guiltily at the ground like five year olds with their hands caught in the cookie jar again.

Stopping in front of his Servant and his fiancé with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face Shirou asked calmly "Would either one of you like to explain why my backyard is a wreck?"

Poking her fingers together nervously and occasionally glancing up at his stern expression Aoko replied "Well, Saber-chan and I were um sparing and uh it might've gotten a little out of hand?"

"Clearly. At any rate; after you clean up this mess Aoko-chan, find Cas-ko and go help Yukika-san, Kaede-san, and Kane-san prepare dinner for…roughly thirty."

"Thirty, do you have enough ingredients here to cook for that many?!" Aoko asked.

Rubbing his temple Shirou replied "I hope so, if not just send Soujūrou-nii to the market he knows where it is."

And what will everyone else be doing while Aoko-san and the others are cooking dinner Shirou?" Lancers voice asked causing the four to jump slightly and Shirou to turn to where Lancer was calmly sitting in the grass and say "Lancer, I didn't see you there."

Smiling serenely the green haired woman replied "Yes, I tend to blend in, in the outdoors think nothing of it Shirou. But as to my question?"

"Oh right, well before I rushed out here I was going to ask Laura-san and Spiderman-san if they would be willing to go and pick up Yukika's younger siblings as they are likely worried about her. In fact Lancer, why don't you go with them?"

"Me?" the Servant asked in a politely confused manner to which Shirou nodded and replied "Yeah, I think you'd be able to put everyone at ease if it becomes necessary, you have a way about you, you know?"

This caused Enkidu to smile and say "Thank you Shirou I'm flattered you think so. I'll go round up the other two and get directions from Yukika-san and be on my way. We should be back in time for dinner." Lancer said calmly before making her way indoors.

After she left, Altria turned to her 'ally' and asked "What shall I be doing in the meantime?"

Humming for a moment, Shirou replied "Well, I intend to work on my latest project, would you like to help?"

Altria was silent for a moment as she thought it over. 'Just because there are numerous Bounded Fields around the property now does not mean Shirou should not be under guard.' She thought.

"Very well, I will assist you in your project." She replied with a firm nod.

"Great, I could use someone to hand me required materials while I work. C'mon if we get started now, we might be able to finish up before dinner." He said as he took her by the hand, a crazy gleam in his eye and equally mad grin on his face before he dragged the surprised Servant of the Sword into the shed with him as his fiancé looked on with a bemused expression.

'Well, things certainly won't get boring around here.' Aoko thought as she made her way inside intent to help cook enough to feed a small army.

Meanwhile on the other side of Fuyuki a despicable waste of human life known as Shinji Matou watched with twisted glee as his slave and source of power, Rider, drained yet another walking prana container that was a human being. But he took particular pleasure in draining this particular individual… one Mitsuzuri Ayako, the Captain of the Archery club.

"That's enough Rider, let the tramp go." Shinji commanded.

As Mitsuzuri's body slumped near lifelessly to the ground Shinji stood over her and smirked "Ah you thought you were so tough, eh?-He kicked her causing her to whimper-"That you were so much better than ME, Superior to ME?! Well, who's laughing now, huh, and who's laying in the gutter? Huh, huh?!"

While her reviled master ranted and raved, Rider kept and ear and several other senses sharp for passersby or enemy Servants. This is why she felt the disturbance in the air and tried to warn her 'master'

"Shinji I believe-"Rider was silenced by a slap from Shinji, who was very annoyed to be taken from his gloating and hissed "Listen you useless whore, unless I specifically tell you otherwise, you are to stand there quietly and not move, understood?"

When Rider remained silent he snapped "Well?"

"You told me to remain still and silent and now you wish for me to talk, which is it?" Rider asked in a mocking tone.

Growling with narrowed eyes Shinji replied "Just shut up and stand there till I call for you Rider."

As Shinji was talking, the charge in the air had grown stronger, when he turned his back, a brief spark of lightening appeared, then another, and then another until soon a ball or cage of lightning had manifested only to disappear and leave someone behind.

Since Rider was blind she couldn't actually see this person but using her enhanced senses which included prana detection she could almost see just as well. She could tell it was a male, roughly sixty years of age in extremely good shape, so much so she almost mistook him for an athletic man half his age.

It was then that she realized something that would amuse her greatly…This person, whomever he was, was completely stark naked and he was heading straight for Shinji…

Matou suddenly stooped his ranting once again when he felt a tap on his shoulder and a male voice with a Scottish accent ask "E'scuse me lad, but ah need your shirt, pants, and shoes. I'ma lookin' fer me Nephew Charlie, for he stole me wee men."

"What the…why the fuck are you naked?!" Shinji asked turning around to find a 5'9 old man with a grey hair styled in a grizzly Adams beard and a Mohawk towering over him, his eyes squinted closed.

Smirking at him the old timer retorted "The better question is lad, why is you, passed out on the ground naked?"

Wah- but I'm not-"Shinji didn't get to finish as he was suddenly decked across the jaw and grabbed by the scruff of the neck before he could hit the floor by the burly Scotsman and raised to his eyelevel and said "Ya think his clothes will fit Rupert?"

The man then glanced at his bare left shoulder and said "Ah, that's right, I left Rupert back at base, someone needs ta guard me stash of African herbs."

"I think the pants might ride a bit in the crotch, but if you're ok with that, they should be just fine." A sultry voice spoke up from behind the man making him turn on his heel and do his best to lock eyes with what was obviously a 'woman of the night'.

"Hmm, long hair, skimpy outfit, sultry voice, girl passed out on the ground over 'dere, I walked in on a threesome didn't I?"

In response, the woman materialized a chain and said "I wouldn't touch that worm if he used one thousand command seals…the girl, well maybe."

"Ah so I walked in on lesbian action and voyeurism." Casually dodging the thrown spiked chain he corrected himself saying "Oh a dominatrix, so she's your sub then? Or are they both?"

Rider sighed giving up and said "Please just get dressed, there is much I have to tell you and very little time to do it."

"Right then lass, but first things first-"The man said as he said as he stripped Shinji down to his boxers and pulled on his too small shirt which tore at the shoulders when he flexed, becoming an impromptu vest in the process, and the pants, which were two inches too short in the leg and a bit snug in the crotch like she said "-We need to exchange names and then find supplies'. As this will be a long campaign, an' I'd like ta' know the name of the person in the foxhole wit' me."

"Very well, I am Servant Rider-"She stopped as the old man chortled and said "Rider huh, well I'm sure if they pay you a little extra, you will won't you?"

Suppressing a groan, the Servant of the Mount, said "What did you mean by supplies?"

"We need ta find an army surplus store an get me a decent outfit, then we need ta find an army base and load up on guns, lots of them. An' a U-Haul truck, and some premium Jamaican hash." He said before picking up the near comatose Mitsuzuri while muttering 'no man left behind' and making his way out of the alleyway they were currently in.

It was only when he was out of the alleyway and halfway down the street carrying the girl in his arms that Rider caught up to him falling into step beside him saying demurely "So, what's your name? Or should I just call you Big Dumb Brute like I've been thinking in my head since we've met?"

The man suddenly stopped and stared at her through eyes that were nearly squinted shut and said "My name is Tryggvassen, "Ole Man" Henderson Tryggvassen, and I'm on a mission to find ma wee great nephew Charlie, as he stole me wee men!"

Wee men? Rider questioned.

"Aye." Henderson said with a nod "I dunno what kinda whippersnapper me nephew Othar's been raisin' but nobody and nobody steals me lawn gnome collection."

Rider stopped cold when she received the required information from the Greater Grail "A lawn gnome collection? You think your great nephew has stolen your lawn ornaments?"

Henderson whirled on her and got right into the Servant of the Mounts face, whispering harshly "Lawn ornaments? This was a collection of two hundred fifteen hand painted porcelain lawn gnomes from Thailand. Now I'm not going to go into details on how I got them, but I will say that for a while I like you, was a whore, and I had ta… 'Smoke a whole lotta pipe' to get those boys. An then, I rode Cappin' Ahab's junk all the back ta Europa. Which lemme tell ya was a very uncomfortable-"

"I'm sure, I'm sure it was. So, to the Army Surplus Store?" Rider said quickly cutting the old man off before he could go into specifics and going into astral form.

Once she was out of sight and thankfully out of mind, she thought 'My new Master is completely and utterly insane…well, this should be fun.'

Dinner at the Emiya household that night was hectic to say the least. Shirou couldn't remember a time when he had so many people in his house honestly, as along with himself and his four Servants he had, four fellow schoolmates one of whom was a fellow Master, plus one of his schoolmates five younger siblings, his fiancé and adoptive older brother and sister, and to round it all out Fuji-nee who was eating more because she was currently out of a job due to the school being wrecked.

Thankfully enough was cooked to feed a platoon, and there was quite a spread on the table, from a mountain of white rice, to shrimp tempura, yakisoba by the pound and nearly a gallon of miso soup, no one would be going hungry tonight. Yet despite the copious amount of food, it was all being devoured at an alarmingly fast rate.

'I'm going to be broke due to food expenses alone by the time this war is over.' Shirou thought as Saber went in for her 'second' really her fourth bowl of rice and shrimp tempura, while Shirou himself had just finished his first bowl of food.

Still, he didn't mind as long as everyone was happy. Speaking of happy; Yukika's siblings seemed thrilled as not only were they meeting their favorite comic book heroes in real life but their older sister knew several genuine magicians, and to top it all off, they had enough food that they could eat until they puked if they so desired.

Shirou stared at each one for a moment, he couldn't help but be amazed at the fact that all the Saegusa sibling had light brown hair and eyes but to Shirou who grew up alone, having younger people around you that looked similar to you was odd to him.

He started with Wakage the youngest at twelve who was short due to his age and constantly teased about it by his siblings. He kept his hair trimmed short and his mouth seemed to run constantly with questions as his head turned this way and that, as if trying to see everything at once. At the moment he seemed content with bombarding Rin with questions about magecraft, questions she seemed only to enthuse to answer for the young bright-eyed child.

"And that is why it would be impossible to pull a rabbit out of a hat." Rin finished.

"Oh, so you're like a mage from fantasy novels then? You can throw around fire and lightning and hypnotize people and stuff?" he asked.

"That's right." Rin replied giving the boy a kind smile.

"That's so cool Rin-neechan!" Wakage said enthusiastic.

Rin became slightly sheepish and coughing into her hand replied "Well yes, I suppose it is to someone who's never seen magecraft before."

Smiling at the exchange, Shirou turned towards the second youngest; the thirteen year old Yoi, who was in that lanky teenager voice cracking phase, as he was only 4'3 at the moment his hair also always seemed to have a serious case of bed head no matter what he did to it. He was currently trying beat both Saber and Taiga at their own game and out-eat them. Although Yoi was still growing Shirou highly doubted he could out eat those two, but from the look of competitive fire in his eyes he was sure going to try.

Next was the middle child Heiwa, who looked to be the studious type, he wore thick glasses and, like Yukika, had a straight brown hair, but unlike her he was quite introverted. So much so that Shirou at first assumed he was mute. Heiwa was, according to his older sister a very smart if quiet shy boy and most of the time could be found reading some book or another and though he rarely talked when he did deign to speak, he often said something important.

Currently he was sitting quietly at the table eating in amicable silence with Enkidu and Alice-nee. He seemed to sense Shirou's gaze on him as he glanced at him momentarily and Shirou raised a hand slightly in greeting. Which, much to his surprise, the shy boy returned briefly before focusing back on his meal.

Then there was the third oldest, Kentaro or just Ken as he liked to be called. He looked older than he really was thanks to puberty, and looked like a punk or delinquent due to his shaggy brown hair and goatee, plus he was rather tall for his age at 5'7 and seemed to be the rambunctious protector of the group as he was loud and was currently challenging Aoko to a spar after dinner, one which she was declining.

"Tell you what kid, you beat Soujūrou and then we'll talk about you fighting me."

Ken eyed Soujūrou for a moment before saying disparagingly "He doesn't look so tough."

"Soujūrou-san is the current UFC bantamweight champion. It would be foolish to underestimate him." Alice warned calmly while taking a bite of tempura.

"Oh yeah?" Ken said giving Soujūrou another once over with new found respect as if this time appraising his skill before cockily stating "Eh, I bet I could still take em."

"Why must you always act like an uncivilized barbarian little brother?" A civilized highbrow voice asked.

"I dunno why do you always act like you have a stick shoved up your ass, pretty boy?" Ken retorted.

The person who asked the first question was the eldest son Sekinin. Who bore a somewhat regal appearance, sporting narrow features and high cheek bones with swept back brown hair, and he was currently wearing an impeccable school uniform.

"Classless brute." Sekinin retorted snidely.

"Pompous ass." Ken retorted getting into his older brother's face.

"I'm surprised you even know that word." Sekinin scoffed.

Ken then smirked and retorted "Oh yeah, and I'm surprised you 'borrow' sis's skincare products."

Sekinin looked mortified "What, you promised we would never speak of that!"

"I lied." Ken said leaning back with a casual shrug, he was then sent flat on his back by a sucker punch from his elder brother.

Before it could get out of hand however Yukika spoke up, clapping her hands together and saying "That's enough you two. Remember, we are guests here please."

This stopped the brother's cold right before they were about to slug each other in the face and they glared at one another for a moment before they both sat up and apologized.

"Sorry sis/Apologies big sister." They intoned as one, causing Yukika to smile and say "That's alright, but aren't you forgetting to thank Shirou-san for something…"

She then cast her eyes around the table at her other siblings and continued "-aren't you all forgetting to thank Shirou-san for something?" she asked pointedly.

"Thank you for dinner Shirou-san!" the group of five intoned as one, causing the third rate magus to rub the back of his head and say "No problem your all welcome and can stay as long as you like provided you clean up after yourselves."

"Sweet, thanks man." Ken said giving him a thumbs up and a grin before asking casually "So, you dating our sister or what?"

Yukika turned bright pink and stuttered out "K-Kentaro-reiti, what are you doing assuming such things?"

Ken shrugged "Just wondering if he was with you or one of these other ladies here is all."

"Yukika-san and I are not dating Ken-san." Shirou said hoping to save her from anymore embarrassment.

"Not dating yet you mean? Eight thousand yen says he and sis hook up, any takers?" Ken asked while holding up several 1,000¥ bills.

"I'll take that bet, but my money is on either of these two here." Yoi, the second youngest said pointing to both Altria and Taiga the latter of whom blushed and said "Me and Shirou? He's like my little brother!"

"You two actually blood related?" Yoi asked with an eyebrow raised.

"No but-"Taiga began only for Yoi to cut in saying "-Then anything can happen. 8k each on these two Kenny!"

Right got it, any other takers?" he asked writing this down on a napkin.

"Umm, I'd like to put 5k¥ on both the neechans here please." Wakage said raising his hand before pointing to both Rin and Aoko. The latter of which smirked when the former choked on her tea.

"32k¥. Harem." Came a quiet monotone voice, which made everyone pause and stare at who had spoken.

"Heiwa, did I hear you right man? You wanna bet 32k on this guy getting a harem?" Ken asked dubiously.

"Everyone, yes." Heiwa said nodding once before turning silently back to his meal.

Ken shrugged in indifference "It's your money little guy."

Shirou then cleared his throat and said "If I could have everyone's attention please, I would like to show you all something after dinner."

"Is it a magical something Shirou-niisan?" Wakage asked excitedly.

Shirou nodded enticed by his enthusiasm "It is I built it while the others were making dinner and picking you up. Would you all like to see it now?"

"Yeah! Hell yeah!" the others shouted while Ken swore.

Shirou could only smile at their enthusiasm and reply while standing up "Well then, follow me."

The group soon found themselves outside the shed, while Shirou stood in front of them, the shut doors behind him. Clearing his throat he said "First off, I would like to thank both Caster, Assassin and Saber for assisting me on this project, and for Caster moving her Workshop to the attic of the shed."

A polite applause was given and the two Servants soaked it up or in Caster's case basked in Shirou's praise. "No problem, glad to help. Stop by sometime and I'll give you the grand tour shi-rou-kun, ne?" Caster said suggestively as she shot him a wink, only to wince when Assassin stepped on her foot.

"Ri~ght, well…without further ado, here it is…Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Magi and Mundane, Servants and Masters-"

"Get on with it already its cold out here Emiya!" Rin shouted from the back.

"Don't spoil my moment woman!" Shirou shouted before muttering "Anyway where was I? Ah yes- I present you the Throne of Apotheosis!"

With that, Shirou threw open the shed doors and stepped aside so everyone could see. They were all silent for a moment and then, finally Soujūrou said what everyone was thinking "It's a tricked out barber chair."

Indeed it was, a red leather barber chair but it had a bunch of things attached to the back which they couldn't see, though they could make out a long cord connected on one end to a laptop and a hypodermic needle set in-between the neck rest and the remaining part of the chair.

"A chair? Soujūrou-nii this is not just a chair."

It's not?" he asked, to which Shirou shook his head before turning the seat around and revealing several objects set into the back of the seat.

They were stone talismans twenty four in all and each one bore a symbol fourteen bore an animal and ten looked like people doing various things, from shooting a bow to pouring a pitcher of water.

Pointing them out, Shirou then began to explain just what the device did. "These talismans? Each one represents a constellation found either in the eastern zodiac or western constellations." He then turned to Aoko and said "Aoko-chan, do you remember what you told me about that Araya guy the priest you attended the Clocktower with?"

"Soren? You got this idea from what I told you about his ideologies?" the redheaded Magician inquired.

Shirou nodded "Yeah, but I'm going to do it a lot less violently than he did, and if my theory is correct my Throne should be able to grant normal people psi-based abilities determined on what year and then upon what day of which month they were born, by both awakening and then enhancing their Origin."

At this point Rin forced her way to the front of the pack and pointed at Shirou accusingly with one finger the hand on her hip as she said "Do you mean to tell me, you've found a way to access the Akasha?"

"Sort of, by sticking people in the brainstem with that needle near the neck there; I can access their soul as the brain is connected to the soul and from there I can find out their Origin information and then using the talismans, add abilities based upon zodiac birth sighs. Abilities they for some reason should have, but do not have at the time of their births."

After his explanation Shirou rubbed his hands together and said "Who wants to go first?"

Umm, what does this thing do again, in plain Japanese?" Kaede asked all the techno babble going right over her, and everyone else's head.

"In layman's terms? It gives people super powers based upon the year and month that they were born."

As the other's scrambled to be first into the machine, an ashen-faced and shocked Rin was kept muttering "Impossible bullshit." Over and over again.

Word Length:9,108 – Date completed: 12/6/14

AN: Sorry for the long wait on this chap everyone but I DID say that the holidays could mess with my schedule a bit. So there you have it. But oh man, I've been wanting to reveal the "Throne of Apotheosis" since the very first chapter. Yep a Mystic Code that, not only reveals peoples origins, but also grants them abilities based on both the Eastern Zodiac (Which deals with the YEAR you were born) and the Western one (Which has to do with which MONTH you were born) and you've got bonified badassess.

Now, here's something else I'm going to start doing Servant Stat Sheets…the non-canon ones anyway. I'm reserving the right to keep NP's a secret until I see fit to reveal them however.

Starting with Assassin:

Servant: Assassin

Identity: Laura "Talon" Kinney

Secondary Class: Berserker

Parameters: Strength: D (?,?) Endurance: A+ Agility: B (?) Mana: E- (?) Luck: E NP: A+

Class Skills:

Presence Concealment: A

Personal skills:

Expert of many specializations: (A+):

Counter Hero (C): Enforces a rank down on all the parameters of all Servants that can be classified as "Hero".

Battle Continuation: (A+): Nothing short of complete disintegration can kill this Servant.

Mental pollution: (C): Due to her 'unique' upbringing, Laura is a cutter with low self-esteem and severe depression as well as mental trauma.

Secret Identity: (N/A): Due to the Servant disguising themselves in life, unless their actual name their 'True identity beneath the mask' is revealed, then their Stats and Alignment are kept hidden even from their Master.

NP:

Healing factor (A) Support: Heals the Servant from any wound short of total disintegration.

Adamantium Claws (B+) Anti-Phantasm, Anti-Thaumaturgy: bone claws coated in a special metal that can cut through any mystery or NP that is B-ranked or below and fight on par with or deflect any NP or A-rank Mystery.

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And there you have it folks, Laura Kinney laid (for the most part) bare to your scrutiny, also her endurance is so high due to her healing factor. Anyway hope you enjoyed the chap and, till next time, Bubbajack out! Peace!