She had submerged herself into work as only someone in despair can, despair or guilt. Tony had headed up the investigation and had caught the bastard that had caused this nightmare she was currently living. He was being charged with attempted murder of a federal agent. Somehow she didn't think it was enough.

She was, in the dark part of her mind, enjoying the guilt, at least she was feeling something other than fear; fear for his life. Not that she would ever admit it to anyone, not that she needed to admit it, everyone at the hospital had seen the fear in her eyes, seen her white knuckles as she gripped Ducky's hand.

"Director?" A soft voice came from the door way and she started slightly.

"Ziva." She beckoned her friend into her office and stood before her, noticing how Ziva was shifting uneasily, "What is it?" She asked.

Ziva looked at her; her large brown eyes which usually hid so many secrets were wide open for anyone to read.

"I haven't seen him yet." Jen answered the unasked question that was hanging in the air. Ziva nodded once and made to leave.

"Go see him Jen, you need to." She closed the door quietly.

So here she was, standing in front of his door, desperate to see him, but wondering what the hell she was going to say. She had stayed away because she didn't want to see him hurt, didn't want to remember his blood on her hands but the longer she had stayed away the harder it got to come here.

She opened the door quietly, hoping that he was asleep and she could kiss his temple whilst he slept and leave, but he opened his eyes when he heard the door. She caught her bottom lip in her teeth as she took in the machines that surrounded him.

"Jen." He sounded relieved, if a little angry and his voice was still gravelly from the tubes. She swallowed.

"Jethro." She replied, taking a step forward, hating the fact she wasn't being her normal under control self.

"What took you so long?" He asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Guilt." She answered simply.

"Why?" He asked, his blue eyes were getting back the clarity that they lost in the park she noted, they still weren't quite a piercing as they could be, but they were currently holding her to the spot, making her unable to move.

"I don't know." She replied. And she really didn't know. It wasn't her fault they were shot at, it wasn't her fault that he pulled her behind him, it wasn't her fault that he had nearly died. Her fingers were itching to touch him but she still held back. He turned his hand on the bed and opened it, signaling to her.

"Come here..." He held her face in his hands, his thumb brushing over her lips, making her close her eyes. He pulled her closer and sighed against her lips.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Don't apologize…" He began, she pulled away.

"Would you, just for once, accept it?" She snapped.

"Jen…you have nothing to apologize for…and you know what? I would probably do it again. Now would you come back here…I need to…" He trailed off, unable to voice what he needed. He needed to feel her skin against his, to ensure himself that it wasn't her that was shot, that she was actually standing in front of him, needed to feel her pulse beneath his fingers.

She sat on the bed next to him and he placed his hand over hers. She turned to look at him and he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers trailing down her neck, resting at her pulse, feeling the steady beat. She unconsciously leant into his touch and placed a kiss on his palm. He tugged her closer.

"Don't stay away again."

I know its short, sorry, but I have been doing some major bribing this afternoon and needed to get something up in return!

Weeks should be soon...

V!

xox