Here's more madness from the minds of Agent HUNK and Dr. Insane-O. Yes, it is kinda OOC, but it should be hilarious. I dunno if you will find it funny, since we've got psychotic senses of humor.
Oh, and yes, there will be Sasuke bashing. In fact, there will always be Sasuke bashing in my stories. I hate the guy. Deal with it. Hah hah...
Kakashi had been expecting the sun to be bright when he stepped out of the flower shop. He hadn't been expecting it to be reflecting off Gai's teeth and almost destroying all of his vision. "Hello, Gai..." he greeted his friend while holding up his free hand to protect his eye.
"Greetings, my dear rival!" Gai greeted him jovially. "Who are those for?"
"Obito," Kakashi replied casually.
"Why? You take flowers all the time! I'm sure he gets the point! Hah hah hah!" Gai laughed, making sure his friend knew it was a joke. "But seriously, why not get some for the living? I'm sure Anko would like some..."
"Anko?" Kakashi arched an eyebrow. "Why Anko?"
"Kakashi! You've got that eye, but you're blind!" Gai exclaimed.
"Blind?" Kakashi cocked his head to the side.
"You haven't seen the way she looks at you?" Gai chuckled. "Its obvious she likes you!"
"Gai, don't be silly..." Kakashi waved his hands, dismissing the matter.
"No really! In fact..." Gai pulled a pair of tickets out of his vest, "I set you both up on a date."
An awkward silence followed. Finally, Kakashi spoke. "You did what?"
"You're taking Anko to the fair tonight," Gai grinned.
"I CAN'T SEEEEEEEEE!!!" some random bystander shrieked as she covered her eyes.
"How could you go behind my back like that?" Kakashi was more concerned with his own problems.
"Relax! I'm doing you a favor! Now here," Gai handed him the tickets, "Take these. I've got to go get ready for my... um... job..." And with that, Gai dissappeared in a puff of smoke.
I'm going to kill him if I survive this... Kakashi thought.
---
Kakashi and Anko stared at the scene before them. Everyone had worked to put together the Annual Konoha Fair. There were booths, rides, and every form of entertainment possible. "So... uh..." Kakashi fumbled for his words. I can take on wave after wave of enemy shinobi, but I can't talk to a girl... "What would you like to do first?"
"I dunno," Anko shrugged.
"CAN I MAKE A SUGGESTION?!" a loud voice boomed. Lo and behold, Gai came riding over to them on a unicycle, dressed in clown attire and juggling bowling pins. "Try the Tunnel of Luvvvvvv..." he lifted his bushy eyebrows up and down. The face paint made his expressions even creepier.
"CLOWS SUCK!!!" some guy yelled as he passed by.
"CLOWNS ARE THE PINNACLE OF YOUTH!!!" Gai screamed as he hurled a bowling pin at the guy.
"Lets get away from him..." Kakashi motioned for Anko to follow. "Far away...
---
A few minutes later, after they had escaped from the maniac clown known as Gai, Anko and Kakashi found a sign dictating the locations of each booth. "Hmmm..." Anko studied the board. "Interesting..."
"What booths are there?" Kakashi asked.
"Hm... Naruko Uzimake is doing the Kissing Booth. Hm? Naruko? Since when does Naruto have a sister?" Anko was perplexed.
"He doesn't..." Kakashi's eye did an involuntary twitch at the thought. "What else?"
"Shino Aburami is selling ant farms," Anko pointed out.
"Why does that seem normal?" Kakashi smirked.
"Kankuro of the Sand is putting on a puppet show..." Anko explained.
"Maniacle marrionets? No thanks..." Kakashi chuckled.
"Oh! A petting zoo!" Anko smiled. "I love petting zoos!"
"Hm? You don't seem like the petting zoo type of person..." Kakashi mused.
"Hm, well, you can't judge a book by its..." Anko realized who she was talking to. "Nevermind... Lets go!"
---
The petting zoo was being run by Kiba Inuzuka. And, sure enough, it was not very cute and cuddly. "Um..." Anko looked down at the animals in the exhibit. "Where are the cute animals?"
"Oh what, wolves aren't cute?" Kiba growled.
"What's the hanging out of your mouth?" Kakashi pointed at Kiba's face.
"Hm?" Kiba pulled the item out. It was a chewed and blood-stained animal collar. "Uh..."
"Excuse me, did you see a cat come by here?" a very familiar woman suddenly walked up to Kakashi and Anko. Kakashi recognized her as the Madame Shijimi, the woman who'd hired his team to find her cat. (I hope that's right...)
"Nope," Kiba quickly hid the collar behind his back.
"Lets get out of here..." Anko whispered.
"Good idea..." Kakashi nodded.
---
"Hello, Kakashi-sensei!" Tenten beamed from inside her booth. "Would you like to play a game?"
"Hello, Tenten. What sort of game?" Kakashi asked.
"Darts!" she pointed at a dart board behind her.
"Nah..." Kakashi shook his head. "Thanks for asking, though."
As Kakashi and Anko walked by the next booth, they heard a familiar voice ask: "Would you like to play a game?"
"Hm?" Kakashi looked over at the booth they were in front of. Tenten was waving at them from inside it. "What the?"
"Would you like to test your shooting skulls?" she held up a BB gun.
"Uh..." Kakashi glanced at Anko.
"We might as well..." she sighed. "The next 12 booths are accuracy games..."
---
"C'mon, pleaaaaase?" Temari pleaded to the people ignoring her booth. "Folding fans are fun!"
"No luck?" Kankuro stuck his head out of the booth next to her.
"I've sold one fan..." she growled, holding up a small blue fan and waving it in an exadurated manner. "You'd think more people would want these things!"
"Well, they are being sold by you..." Kankuro chuckled.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she growled.
"Excuse me!" a man suddenly walked up to Temari's booth waving a fan around. "I want a refund!"
"No refunds," she pointed at a sign next to her. She then turned her attention back to Kankuro. "Where were we?"
"Hey!" the guy yelled.
"I'm just saying, people might not want to buy fans from you..." Kankuro shrugged.
"Why?" Temari asked indignantly.
"Excuse me!" the man yelled. "I said I want a refund!"
FWACHING!!!
In a split second, Temari had pulled out her own fan and decapitated him. "I SAID NO REFUNDS!!!"
"That's why..." Kankuro gestured at the headless corpse sprawled out in front of her booth.
"Meh, oh well..." Temari shrugged. "I hate this job anyway..."
Meanwhile, a few feet away, Anko and Kakashi were staring in horror at what they'd just seen. "Lets go the other way..." Anko suggested.
"Lead the way..." Kakashi nodded.
---
"STEP RIGHT UP, FOLKS!!!" Konohamaru was standing up on a stage swinging around a cane and wearing a cape and top hat. "STEP RIGHT UP AND PROVE YOUR SEXUALITY!!!"
"Huh?" several people were curious about what he was saying.
"IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHICH WAY YOU SWING, I'LL GIVE YOU 100 RYO!!!" Konohamaru promised.
"Oh yeah?" a man jumped up on the stage. "TRY ME!!!"
"Okay," Konohamaru grinned. He then made a handsign and yelled out: "Sexy Jutsu!"
Instantly, he turned into a smoke-wreathed semi-nude young woman. And instantly the man's nose became a fountain of blood. He ran off the stage screaming while Konohamaru returned to his normal form and laughed like a maniac. Suddenly, another person jumped on the stage. "TRY ME!!!" Sasuke Uchiha smirked.
"Sexy Jutsu!" Konohamaru turned into a young woman. Sasuke just smirked. "Hmmm... Sexy Jutsu!" Instantly, Konohamaru turned into a smoke-shrouded semi-nude young man. And instantly Sasuke's nose exploded in a shower of blood. "BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!" Konohmarau cackled as Sasuke dove off the stage and ran to a bathroom. "How 'bout you, Mr. Silver Hair?"
"Me?" Kakashi looked up. He'd just been walking by when suddenly Konohamaru pointed him out.
"Yeah, you! Are you up for a little test?" Konohamaru smirked.
"Sure..." Kakashi shrugged. He climbed up on the stage, and with his hands in his pockets, he casually asked: "Are you ready?"
"Yep," Konohamaru smirked. "Sexy Jutsu!" His young woman form didn't phase Kakashi, who just sat there looked down at him calmly. "Sexy Jutsu!" The male version of the trick didn't get a response either.
"Pay up..." Kakashi held out his hand.
"Um..." Konohamaru looked at his non-existant wrist watch. "OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME!!! I'VE GOT TO BE GOING NOW!!! BYEEEE!!!" And with that, he took off running.
"Meh," Kakashi shrugged. "Easy come, easy go..."
---
"Hi, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura waved at Kakashi and Anko as they passed by her booth.
"My, you're popular with the kids..." Anko smirked.
"Hello, Sakura," Kakashi waved back. "What are you in charge of?"
"The Tunnel of Love!" she pointed at a small boat-ladden river next to her booth.
"The Tunnel of... uh oh..." Kakashi suddenly began to look around wildly. "We have to get away from here!"
"Huh?" Anko shot him a funny look. "Why??"
"Because I have a verrrrry bad feeling about this!" Kakashi exclaimed.
No sooner had he said this than had the words "LOVE IS THE EPITOME OF YOUTH!!!" echoed behind them.
"Too late..." Kakashi sighed.
Half a second later, Gai came zooming by on his unicycle and grabbed them both. All three of them screamed as the crazy clown-nin drove towards the river, ramped into the air, and dropped Kakashi and Anko into a boat as he flew over the lake. "HAHAHAHAHA!!! BEHOLD THE BEAUTY OF YO-" Gai was cut off, literally, by a tree limb. He smacked his face into the big branch and fell into the water with a garbled yell.
"Well, that was wierd..." Anko commented.
"Everything about this village is wierd..." Kakashi sighed.
And so, the two Jonin were effectively press-ganged into boarding the Tunnel of Love. And they weren't the only ones. In the boat behind them, Hinata and Naruto had been forced into a boat by Sakura. And in the boat behind them, Ino had dragged Sasuke into a boat with her. Soon all three boats entered the dark tunnel.
Kakashi and Anko simply discussed simple things, like pets and the number of people they'd killed and in what ways.
Hinata had feinted due to being forced to close to the object of her obsession. Naruto was trying to figure out a way to get Sakura on a boat with him.
Ino was trying to kiss Sasuke, who kept avoiding her attacks by pretending to tie his shoes or something.
And Sakura was descending from the ceiling via a rope. Her plan was simple: Board their boat, throw Ino into the water, and make out with Sasuke. So when she landed on the boat, which was amazing considering it was pitch black, she threw Ino into the water and planted a huge kiss right on Sasuke's lips.
But when they came out of the tunnel, Sakura discovered to her horror that she had thrown Sasuke out of the boat, and that she had just kissed Ino. "Uhhhh..." she stared at Ino, who looked quite shocked as well. "That never happened..."
"And we shall never speak of it again!" Ino added.
"Ooooooh nooo, people will be speaking of it again..." Naruto grinned from inside his boat as he looked through a video camera at them. "Especially after I make DVDs and sell them to all the guys in the village! I'm sure I'll make a killing off Jariaya alone!"
Kakashi and Anko were looking behind their boat as well. "Like I said..." Kakashi sighed, "Everything in this village is wierd..."
---
"I had a great time tonight..." Anko told Kakashi as they left the fair.
"Even though Shikamaru fell asleep and left us at the top of the Ferris Wheel for 2 hours?" Kakashi asked.
"Yes, even despite that..." she turned to face him.
The moon was shining brightly behind them, and in the distance, a fireworks show was starting. But they were too busy looking into each others eyes to care. Gently, their faces leaned in close together. Anko slowly reached up and pulled slightly on Kakashi's mask. He didn't protest, so she gently tugged the fabric down off of his face. His appearance was obscured by the darkness of the night, however. Slowly, the two Jonin's faces leaned closer together. Their lips were barely apart, and they were inches from kissing. But something suddenly came up.
And that something was Gai, who came zooming by on his unicycle screaming: "I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!! I KNEW-"
He was interupted by another tree limb, which caught him by the throat and sent him backflipping to the ground. Hard.
"Well, that was random..." Anko commented, looking over her shoulder at the battered clown-nin.
"Yep..." Kakashi nodded in agreement. He then smiled and leaned down closer to her. "Now where were we?"
AAAAAAHH!!! MOOSHY FLUFF!!! IT BURNS!!!
I loved writing this chapter. It was so fun, and I had so many more ideas for booths and rides. Perhaps I should write a sequal later on or something... Oh cool, this is the longest thing I've ever written! I hope you enjoyed it!
Review, please, and tell me what you thought!