Chapter Three – We Need To Talk About It

Brooke pulled her VW bug up outside their apartment block. She had had a long day at college and was behind, still not having completed her dress designs as she was meant to. But she had promised herself that tonight she would talk to Lucas. It had been a week since she had spoken to Haley, and every day she had decided she would speak to Lucas and every day she decided to do it the next. But today, exactly seven days since the first day she was going to speak to him, she would try once again. She had to. She was determined to take the first step to putting the pieces of their relationship back together. She simply hoped she could find the courage and hoped that Lucas had enough faith left to at least try- they had to try together.

She removed the keys from the ignition, but sat silently in the car for a moment. Her heart pounded and suddenly she felt the same nervousness she had in the moment two years ago when she had arrived at Lucas' door bearing eighty-two letters along with her heart and soul. But now Brooke had no letters and was not at all prepared for what she was going to say. She knew things would not end happily like they had on that night, they couldn't, and there were too many things to be resolved simply in one night. Brooke was prepared for that, or as prepared as she could be. So with one final breath, she got out of the car and let the crisp night air surround her.

---

Lucas lay on the bed he shares with Brooke, the room was quiet, just as he liked it to be when he was engrossing himself in the world of one his favourite authors. Yet Lucas found himself to be reading the paragraph of one his favourite Steinbeck's over and over, not taking in the words as he usually did. He closed the book in frustration, finding his thoughts wandering back to the one thing he tried so hard to push from his brain; it hurt too much to think about. His crumbling relationship with Brooke. His girlfriend. But was she really? Lucas didn't know anymore. Lucas thought of all the things he considered were required to call someone your girlfriend. Talking to them. Laughing with them. Kissing them. Being happy with them. If he followed what he was thinking, Brooke wasn't truly his girlfriend. Yet of course she was, he told himself, they live together, they sleep in the same bed! But that was where it stopped. It didn't go any further than that. Not anymore. Lucas only wished he knew why, was it his fault, was it hers? He didn't know.

He heard the front door to their apartment open and for a second he expected her to call out that she was home or come rushing into their room to tell him about her day, or usually complain, she hated having such a long day at college on Friday and always complained about how unfair it was that Lucas was home before her. But Lucas knew that wasn't going to happen, it hadn't happened in a long time. He glanced at the clock beside their bed, 6:52 pm. He climbed up off of the bed and walked out into the living room.

"Hey," he said to Brooke, who was in the kitchen getting a drink.

"Hi," she responded.

Lucas grabbed his bag that was sitting on the couch and picked up his keys off of the kitchen counter.

"I'm going to my mom's, I promised her I'd baby-sit, Lottie tonight."

"Oh okay. Are you going to bring her back here?"

"No it's easier if I just stay there. Don't wait up." Lucas said as he made his way to the door.

"Wait, Luke. We really need to talk." He turned around as he heard her words.

"Look.. Brooke, I really have to be there now. Can we talk later?" Brooke swore she could hear a hint of sincerity and hope in his eyes.

"Yeah. Okay then." Brooke said helplessly just before she saw Lucas' figure retreat out the door without so much as a goodbye.

---

His mother who gave him a quick hug and ushered him in greeted Lucas at the door. They entered the kitchen and Lucas dropped his bag down on the kitchen table as Karen spoke.

"No Brooke?" Karen asked seeing Lucas alone. Brooke and Lucas used to baby-sit baby together and this was the first time Lucas had babysat by himself. Although, in terms of doing the actual babysitting that didn't matter, as he was the one to do that anyway. Brooke would cutely complain about the baby's crying and tease Lucas, saying that his sister just obviously didn't like him.

"No," Lucas responded as he avoided her gaze.

"Okay," Karen sensed Lucas' resistance to talking about Brooke, so after a brief pause quickly steered away from that subject. Gesturing towards the open door to Lucas' old room, which was now the nursery, she spoke. "Baby's asleep now but she might wake up so - "

"Mom, I've done this before, remember?" Lucas said with a slight laugh.

"I know. I just still don't like leaving her," Karen glanced towards the nursery.

"Mom, I've got her," Lucas smiled reassuringly.

"I know. Thank you for doing this, Luke," Karen said as she grabbed her purse and coat off the kitchen table.

"No problem Mom, have a good time."

"I will. I should be home by midnight."

"Okay, take your time. See you later."

"Bye Lucas," Karen said as she made her way out the front door.

Lucas walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. The house was awfully silent and strangely, Lucas wished for the noise of the baby, for the silence was not comforting. It simply reminded him what was missing, or rather, who was missing. He sat down on the couch and turned on the TV in an attempt to drown out the silence. Making sure it wasn't up so loud as to wake Lottie, he flicked the channel to ESPN finding a basketball game on. Lucas shifted in his seat as he watched the game. Watching basketball was hard knowing he wouldn't ever get to experience playing at a higher level, let alone playing at all, but that wasn't the reason Lucas couldn't enjoy watching the game. Something just didn't feel right. He found himself missing Brooke's annoying habit of changing the channel whenever he tried to watch a game. She would usually win the remote war, so Lucas would find himself watching America's Next Top Model or Laguna Beach, and as much as Lucas' hated those shows, he strangely found himself missing them. And while he wouldn't totally admit it, he knew it wasn't really the shows he was missing, it was Brooke.

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Brooke sat on the couch of their living room. She was bored and felt quite pathetic, sitting at home alone on a Friday night. She had changed into her green Juicy Couture sweats and tied her hair up in a ponytail for comfort, but also as a method of killing some time. Now she sat alone. She decided for some channel surfing and flicked aimlessly through the endless channels. She came to ESPN, finding basketball on and for some strange reason; she found that she'd settled to watching it. She let out a sigh as she watched the player score a free throw and her mind spun to Lucas. She had come so close to talking to him, and he had left. "He had to though, he had to be at Karen's", she reassured herself. She just wished that that was all it was, and that Lucas really meant what he'd said when he offered to talk later.

She watched a player dribble the ball across the court and considered how hard it must be for Lucas to have lost basketball. She knew he missed it, but not because he told her, they didn't really talk about it. She just wished he had told her about having HCM; she could have helped him deal with it. She would have been there for him and offered to talk to him about it. But that had never happened. "That was his choice", Brooke thought. "He obviously didn't want my support". Yet Brooke knew he wasn't the only one who hadn't been completely honest and open, she knew she had kept things from him too.

"What's going on with you and Peyton?" He asked her as they sat on his bed.

"What do you mean?" She acted like she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Well you told me you two had a fight and then you moved out of her house…" He elaborated as she desperately tried to avoid his haunting stare.

"It's nothing, I was just upset that she kissed you."

"But you told me you'd had a fight before I told you about the kiss." He paused, but just for a second. "What was the fight about?"

"Lucas…" she looked down.

"Come on Brooke. Please. You can talk to me, you know that." He begged as he tried to meet her eyes.

"Its not important, she was just bugging me and I knew I wasn't going to live with her forever anyway."

"You seriously want to live with Rachel?" he questioned.

"She's not that bad, Lucas."

"Hey, I'm not saying she is. I'm just saying, I know she's not your favourite person."

"That was before I really knew her."

"Okay.."

"I'm happy living with her Luke." She was trying to convince herself as much as him.

"Okay, if you're sure."

She hadn't told him the truth about her fight with Peyton, and she knew she was a hypocrite for being angry that he hadn't told her things. The truth was she had kept many things from him too. "But I'm trying to fix things" she thought. "He doesn't seem to even want to try."

---

Lucas heard a cry from the nursery. Listening intently, he waited a moment, seeing if it was a sole cry, but soon the cry escalated and the noise grew louder. He raised himself up from the couch and walked into the nursery. Reaching an arm down into the crib in the dark room, he picked up the pacifier lying next to the crying baby, gently put it into her mouth and delicately stroked her head.

"Shh baby…" he mumbled quietly to her, in a tone that he had often calmed Brooke with when she was upset about something.

After a moment the crying ceased. Lucas had always imagined he and Brooke having children, and that wasn't just because of one pregnancy scare and an instance with him thinking she was pregnant. He had been so certain of them, and so he had thought of their future. He hadn't wanted kids right away of course, but he had imagined them getting married in some years and he had been able to envision them with kids someday. But now, that vision was hazy. He hadn't ever talked about kids with Brooke, guessing it was probably the furthest thing from her mind, and he had secretly felt a bit embarrassed having all these dreams for the two of them.

Lucas often wondered if Brooke had dreams for the two of them as well. He wondered if she'd had them at any one point, even if they were now forgotten. Yet, she had wanted to talk to him, so maybe all hope wasn't lost. Of course he wasn't sure if she even wanted to talk about their relationship, although her unsteady voice suggested that she had. Lucas wasn't sure if he really wanted to talk about their relationship, he wanted things to get better, he truly did. He just didn't know if he could deal with everything they would have to endure in order for that to happen, the first of which was a difficult talk, of course not their first. They'd had their fair share of upsetting conversations, "Will another one could really change anything?" he wondered.

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AN: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter! I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know your thoughts on the chapter/fic, it really helps me with writing the fic. Last chapter was a bit more of a filler chapter, and I'm sorry we didn't get a proper BL talk this chapter, they will talk more next chapter. Thanks again to the awesome Ellie for beta-ing this for me. This chapter's title is from 'Letting The Cables Sleep' by Bush. PLEASE REVIEW!