Epiphany: Chapter 4
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Disclaimer: Nothing is mine
She was going to wake up any moment now. He could feel it.
The morphine wore off a while ago, and she was just sleeping it off now. But he had an unbelievable feeling that she was going to be opening those emerald-green eyes of hers within the next hour. And he'd be the first person she sees…
In the last six, seven hours she's been out, he's done everything he could think of to get rid of his little confidence problem. He didn't want to be stuttering when he told the woman he loves…
So he took a quick nap in the on call room, ate an entire pack of stale potato chips and even left the hospital for a twenty minute-interval to go get a quick drink at the bar down the street. He practiced what he was going to say a million times over.
I'm sorry for being a blind idiot. I love you more than words. Tell me please Teresa that you feel the same way?
He needed that. And now he was here, ready for her to wake up and tell her everything he needed to. He was ready for this life-changing moment.
And now he was sitting, waiting, as he did before.
Thirty minutes…
Then an hour…
He felt the doubt slowly creep up on him and a newfound exhaustion threaten closer and closer…
How many stories had he heard about people just not waking up after being put on morphine? Especially after a surgery like hers? Panic prickled his limbs.
And then he heard her grunt.
It was a raspy, gruff sound that cracked through her throat, but in that moment he couldn't think of a more beautiful sound.
She was waking.
"Wh-… Where..?" She formed the words loosely, clumsily, as she squinted against the bright hospital lights. He could barely contain his joy and he let out a relieved breath he didn't realize he was holding.
He watched the clean confusion dance in her eyes, and then the grateful relief when she recognized his face. "J-Jane..?" Her voice was raspy and it startled him back into reality.
And in reality, it turns out, stale chips and a shot of whiskey doesn't mean much when the woman you love is lying vulnerable and bare in front of you…
"T-Teresa…" He stuttered her name. He felt tears prickle his eyes and before he could fight them off, a sob wrenched its way out of his throat and spilled the salt rivers down his cheeks. He threw his arms around her and took her into a tight embrace. All the words he planned to say evaporated into thin air.
The words struggled to make their way out of his throat. "Teresa, I… I lo-…"
"TESS!"
He was interrupted by a chorus of calls, coming from three raven-haired boys standing at her door.
He was watching her face when she saw them; he saw the confusion make the easy transition into happiness at seeing the faces of her brothers. He watched her eyes light up. And even though he wanted to chase the bickering brothers out of the hospital for their terrible timing, he wasn't going to.
He backed up a few steps and watched her interact with her family. It was something to see – the tough-as-nails agent who struck fear into any suspect, motherly and soft. She hugged her brothers protectively, reassuring them in hoarse whispers that she was indeed fine.
He sat down on a chair and watched for several minutes. He was really mad at himself right now; there he was, presented with the perfect moment to tell the woman he loved who, above all odds, survived a gunshot, that he wanted her to be his and only his, and what does he do?
He chokes.
Like a third-grader at show and tell.
He wanted to kick himself, hit himself. What was she thinking of him now? She wakes up and Jane - super-suave, mysterious, enigmatic Patrick Jane – starts bawling like a little kid. How was she supposed to love him?
X
It was later now, and her brothers were gone. But hot on their heels came the team (smuggled bear claw and cup of coffee in hand).
They hadn't had a moment alone since she woke, and even though it was killing him, he was reveling in having her back. They were all sitting together on her hospital bed, chatting.
The subject fluidly changed from work, to sports, to something else… he wasn't really paying attention to the conversation anymore. Instead, he found himself watching her speak. Her eyes were like glowing emeralds, warm and inviting.
"Boss, when are they discharging you?" Cho asked. His question got even Jane's attention.
"The doctor said soon, but I can't go home if there isn't someone to look after me. I'll probably have to guilt one of the boys into taking a week or two off. I'm sure Tommy won't mind, he's always up for a vacation."
"No."
The sound of his own voice startled even him. It was defiant; maybe a little too defiant to be completely relevant. He cleared his throat.
"Don't put your brothers out. I'll do it. Really, I'll just be sleeping on a different couch, it's no big deal." He said before she could argue.
"No, no, Jane. Really, that wasn't what I meant. I wasn't fishing for help. I can't expect something like this from you…"
"No, Lisbon. I want to." He said, and his voice became sincere. "It was pretty scary almost losing you. And I'd like to help you get better. Or at least shove your pain meds down your throat when you're too stubborn to take them." He said jokingly.
The team exchanged looks without doing much effort to conceal them.
Reluctantly, Lisbon nodded slowly. "Alright. Thank you."
"It's nothing."
It wasn't nothing. It was a whole lot of something!
And that something was a second chance.
He was going to tell her how he felt, if it was the last thing he did. And this time, he wasn't going to blow it.
So I followed suggestions and he's going to play nurse for her now! What do you guys think? Was the chapter suckish? REVIEWS!
Much love, Z