24 february 1984
I'm the worst friend in the world.
Why am I so possessive? Or am I jealous (as Lulu said to me that day)?.
I hate Lucy. She's a Enos' friend coming from Los Angeles, Enos' next-door neighbor (they lived in the same building). She arrived yesterday and I don't know how long she'sgoing to stay here in Hazzard.
She's tiny, and she has long sleek raven hair. Her eyes are brown, dark brown, very expressive. She looks a child.
I hate her, and I'm ashamed of this feeling.
I wonder if those two have something going on; they seem good friends.
She's totally different from me, not only in her look; she's childish and clumsy, and I don't know why Enos is her friend.
Last night I went to the Boar's Nest with the boys, Enos and Lucy. I noticed that Lucy, even if she's so childish, she's also very sweet and gentle, she's funny, and she's cute. She can also be serious and clever. It's so evident: Enos and Lucy are alike.
I don't know why a got angry (what a shame), but when Lucy told us that she spent all the day with Enos, I felt like she was taking Enos' friendship away from me. And I got nasty: I don't even remember what I said, exactly, or... it's better I want to forget it, I don't want to write it here.
The boys looked at me, in shock. Enos stared at me with a sad look, then he left the Boar's Nest with Lucy (she nearly cried because of my words).
When I arrived at the farm I was crying, and Bo and Luke didn't know what to say (men are always scared and confused by women's temper, especially a temper like my one, a wild temper). Uncle Jesse patiently listened to me; he's right: I have to apologize to Lucy. But I don't know how to explain my behaviour.
Now I'm in my bedroom and I can't sleep, since I can't stop thinking of where Enos and Lucy are, what they are doing, what they are saying. Does she stay at Enos' place? Or in the only Hazzard's Hotel? And, when they stayed in Los Angeles, what did they do togheter, what did they talk 'bout? Why are they friends? Does he like her? Does she like him?
I can't help but hating that girl.
Is it REALLY jealousy?