Chapter Four
Bilbo awoke and groaned, his head felt like someone had taken a pickaxe to it. He remembered what had happened the night before, not the details, so much as the impressions. He remembered feeling happy and drinking a large amount of ale. He sat up in bed and went over to his closet, getting out a waistcoat, before he took a minor pain reliever and felt his headache lessen somewhat. He then walked next door and smiled when he saw the empty bed. Thorin was apparently recovered from the tonic. He then walked to the dining hall and sat down in his chair, people stared at him and Thorin seemed angry with him, as did Dwalin. Bilbo served himself some of the food and ate hungrily.
"Did you enjoy yourself last night?" Thorin demanded.
"I did, thank you, it was nice to get out." Bilbo replied.
"You went out when I was drugged to drink with someone who also has the potential to be your One, am I to understand that correctly."
"If you seek to control me, you will be very disappointed and yes I had a good time with Bofur. He doesn't try to control me, or force me to do what he wants." Bilbo stated and returned to his food.
"I don't try to control you, I just ask that you be with me." Thorin stated.
"I have the right to court my Heartsigns if I so desire, I have the right to choose who I am going to spend my life with. You do not have the right to force me to be with you and if you try you will only drive me further away."
"Thorin is the King! You cannot say such things to him." Dwalin said and Bilbo glared back at Dwalin.
"We don't have a monarchy and in any event I can't simply bond with Thorin because he wishes it. I must first feel love for him and know with certainty that he is the one I wish to bond my life with. I can't know that until I court my other Heartsigns. If I tried to bond us now, it would not work out well. I could well wind up hating him and causing us both to be miserable, while we are trapped in a bond that neither of us desire."
"I could never hate you." Thorin said.
"Perhaps that is true, but if we bonded prematurely, I could come to hate you, while you love me. It has happened before you know and I would not wish that upon anyone."
"Even one that you might come to hate?" Thorin demanded and Bilbo nodded.
"Yes, even you, for you would be just as trapped as I would. You need to realize that I won't give you everything you want, simply because you think your entitled to it. I am after all ,stubborn enough to raise Fili and Kili and hold my own. The boys have been back with you for two days and how well have you channeled their energy?"
"You didn't stop Kili from drugging me."
"Well even I can't stop him from doing pranks entirely. I don't try to control who they are, but rather let them be themselves as long as they agree to keep such things to a minimum. I believe the agreed upon amount was three a month, of course I'll have to think of something creative to get back at him." Bilbo said and shrugged as Dwalin and Thorin stared at him shocked. "I learned long ago that the best way to deal with the boy's mischief making is to respond in kind. Most of the pranks are harmless enough, but they know when they hurt one of us, the others have every right to respond in kind." Bilbo said with a smile.
"Just how old are you Bilbo?" Thorin asked and Bilbo grinned.
"Well I age like a dwarf would, I'm one hundred and seven."
"Your scarcely past your majority?" Thorin demanded scandalized.
"Yes and I've brought up my brothers just fine, that and growing up with people that matured more quickly than me has caused me to be mature for my age." Bilbo replied.
"How did you do it, when the boys went missing you must have only been..."
"I was fifty five and they were a handful once they recovered from the shock of everything. Those first years weren't easy for any of us, we all missed our parents terribly." Bilbo said.
"Then you..."
"Lost my parents when I was little more than a preteen in maturity yes. I had relatives looking in on me and the boys from time to time, but I've always been a respectable sort of hobbit and I knew what was expected of me."
"Expected of you?" Thorin asked and Bilbo nodded.
"Of course I still had to get an education, I still was taught by my relatives in diplomacy, as well as fighting tactics and agricultural studies. My father didn't want me to learn how to fight, but after what happened to my parents and with two small boys to protect, I didn't have much of a choice. I became proficient in both the fighting styles of my people and later I learned how to sword fight from the same dwarf that taught the boys. The boys learned both styles as best they could, dwarves bodies aren't designed for hobbit fighting."
"I can fight a dam sight better than you." Dwalin said and Bilbo chuckled.
"You don't have the speed for it, though you seem like a capable warrior." Bilbo said. "How about a bit of a sparing match."
"I wouldn't want to hurt you." Dwalin protested.
"Oh you won't hurt me, who makes the other fall first wins."
"I thought you didn't like to touch others."
"I don't, but your cousin called into question my abilities, no one would take that well." Bilbo replied and nodded at Dwalin. "Shall we begin then?"
"When you wish." Dwalin said and Bilbo nodded, they stood close to each other waiting for the other to make the first move. "You shouldn't wait for so long." Dwalin stated.
"Well I prefer to have the person I'm fighting to attack me, but if you wish me to attack first, I'll be happy to oblige." Bilbo said and gave a grin that seemed different from the way he usually smiled, this one seemed almost predatory. Dwalin stared at Bilbo as he darted forward, almost to fast for Dwalin to dodge and leapt backward equally as fast as Dwalin tried to land a blow. Bilbo was too fast, his feet surprisingly powerful and his body graceful, to Thorin who watched the match, Bilbo almost looked like he was dancing around and Dwalin's movements were clumsy in comparison. Occasionally he'd strike out at Dwalin, though the dwarf was able to dodge for a time, Bilbo successfully delivered a blow to his knees that sent him onto the ground. Pressing his advantage Bilbo crawled on top of the dwarrow, however as soon as he touched his wrists both froze, and warmth spread through Bilbo showing him that Dwalin was one of his Heartsigns. They stared at each other in awe both panting and slightly out of breath.
"May I kiss you?" Dwalin asked suddenly and Bilbo smiled lowering his lips to the captured dwarrow. Dwalin's kiss was fierce and possessive and Bilbo moaned a bit at the taste and feel of him, his hips rocked slightly making both males groan as Bilbo felt Dwalin harden beneath him, he suddenly remembered himself and blushed. He was in the middle of a crowded dining room and dwarves were staring at him, not least of all his brothers.
He came to his feet and offered his hand to Dwalin who stared up from the floor a moment more, before taking it, almost reverently. "Will you court me as well as my cousin then and decide who is to be yours?" Dwalin asked and Bilbo nodded. "I am sorry Thorin, but he is my One as well."
"How can this be?" Thorin demanded and Dwalin frowned.
"I do not know cousin, but I know that I will not simply allow him to be yours. If you feel that banishment is necessary for coveting your One, I can understand that, however he is my One as well and I will be courting him."
Thorin stared at Dwalin in shock as Bilbo smiled at the large dwarf. "Thank you for giving me a choice in where my heart belongs." Bilbo said and smiled up at Dwalin who stared down at the hobbit, a tender look in his eyes, as Bilbo's stomach rumbled.
"We should break our fast, but afterwards I want you to teach me how you move like that." Dwalin said and Bilbo laughed.
"Gladly, though the boys couldn't move as quickly, they still learned several different ways of punching and taking down a target. They wound up preferring dwarves styles to the more subtitle hobbit arts of defense." Bilbo said and smiled at Dwalin. "Now I am very hungry, why don't we go back to our meal and then I can give you a lesson afterwards?" Bilbo asked hopefully.
"That sounds great to me, perhaps you might come and watch the morning drills. I'm training some fifty-year-old Dwarrows who are looking to go into guard service once they come of age. Would you be interested in learning some dwarves training drills?"
"I already know a few, I had the boys' teacher teach me things as well." Bilbo said with a grin, blushing somewhat. "But I would be glad to learn something new." He added looking the warrior up and down assessing as he smiled at Dwalin who stared back at him a moment, a blush covering his face from cheeks to forehead.
"I look forward to teaching and learning from you as well Bilbo." Dwalin stated and the hobbit looked pleased, before returning to his plate. He waved cheerfully at Bofur who was slumped over his own food looking slightly miserable. Bilbo gestured towards a servant.
"I need a small bag, it should be in the second to the left top hand drawer of my dresser." He told the servant and the servant nodded, running off on his errand and returning with a large bag that clinked as he set it down. "Thank you." Bilbo said, rummaging through his bag and pulling out a hangover remedy, he handed it to the servant and instructed the dwarf to give it to Bofur. Bofur stared at the bottle in surprise, before he downed it wincing at the taste somewhat, but looking better for the tonic.
"What's in there?" Dwalin asked and Bilbo smiled.
"A range of tonics, I learned to brew several different ones as I had the boys and myself to take care of. I grew to like the process in fact." Bilbo replied.
"You are skilled at healing, fighting and traveling to far off lands, what else are you good at? What else do you enjoy?"
"I love to cook, particularly baking and I'm fond of reading as well." Bilbo said and took a sip of his tea. "And what of you Dwalin?"
"I like fighting, I was trained to be a warrior since I was very young. I also enjoy dancing and singing when I'm drunk enough."
"He has a good voice." Thorin added trying not to sound upset. "I am fairly good at diplomacy, fighting and ruling, I also enjoy blacksmithing and reading when I have the opportunity which is seldom."
"I know how busy you are, I understand well the burden of governance." Bilbo stated. "I was born into a family who has served in our governing body for generations. Even after we did away with our ruling class, those from my family were always chosen to be Thrain, which is the hobbit equivalent of a king. The boys learned about governance as they were considered my adoptive brothers and treated as such." Bilbo said and smiled at Fili and Kili fondly. He then returned to his own meal, eating as quickly as he could, as to not keep everyone else waiting. After his seventh helping he set aside his knife and fork and nodded to Thorin who stood, the others dwarves following his example.
Bilbo stood as well and went over to Dwalin. "Should we go now?" Bilbo asked and Dwalin nodded, Bilbo smiled and walked beside the dwarf to the training grounds. He stared at the two hundred or so Dwarrows, who were each waiting in groups of twenty or thirty. They ranged in ages from what seemed to be fifteen, to Dwarrows that were as old or slightly older than Fili and Kili. Dwalin led him over to one of the older groups and started barking orders, sending the young Dwarrows through a warm up. Bilbo smiled as the young men obeyed Dwalin and the dwarf seemed to be highly enjoying himself. He looked to be in his element surrounded by the young recruits.
Bilbo watched the drills with fascination, sometimes Dwalin would walk up to a recruit and correct their posture, when they were doing push ups and sits up. Finally Dwalin seemed pleased enough with those and lead the Dwarrows through an obstacle course that had been set up behind them. "MOVE YOU YOUNGLINGS, ARE YOU HALF GROWN DWARROWS OR ARE YE BABES SUCKLING AT YOUR MOTHER'S TEATS?" Dwalin demanded and the dwarves went through the obstacle course several times, as Dwalin barked at them and called them dwarfling. That sped up the Dwarrows, giving them the motivation they needed. Bilbo even chuckled at a few of Dwalin's insults, finding them to be slightly amusing. The obstacle course itself wasn't much different than the ones he'd gone through as a tween with his Took cousins and it looked like fun. He ran towards it and then waited in line with the other Dwarrows laughing when it came to be his turn and crossing the obstacles fairly easily. He most enjoyed the climbing wall, though the hurdles and crawling tunnels were fun as well. He got through the course and on the other side, before he realized that he'd lost one of his buttons in the process.
"That is one of the fastest times I've ever seen, did you watch Bilbo, because that's how its done." Dwalin stated, as Bilbo smiled at the dwarrow, before looking back to the new recruits.
"I seem to have lost one of my buttons, if you find it in the course, I'd be glad to have it back." Bilbo said and was soon given his button. He smiled at the young dwarrow. "Thank you lad, what's your name?"
"Jorn, son of Norn son of Fiorn." The young man replied and snapped a solute. "It was my honor to see it returned to you, your grace."
"Thank you all the same." Bilbo said and smiled at the young man who blushed slightly at the praise and returned to the line of other Dwarrows. Bilbo watched the drills for a while more, hesitating a moment before taking off his waistcoat and putting it on a wall across the training field which held several different garments. He smiled and started back, looking at the different drills as he went. What interested him the most were the hand-to-hand drills, as there wasn't any finesse to them. It was just punching and kicking. While the Dwarrows were excellent at fighting with any other weapon, it was clear that their skills were limited when it came to hand to hand combat, something that hobbit defense focused on, in addition to weapons training. However when it came to weapons training it was clear that Dwarrows were superior at that. Bilbo couldn't resist stopping by one of the youngest groups, smiling as little feet tried to follow the drills, punching and kicking the air was much more adorable at that age. He noticed that several of the boys had hand positioning that was wrong and turned to the instructor. "His grip is off." He said pointing to the child who would have injured himself if he actually punched anything.
"At this age, we teach them the basics, proper stances and finger positions come later on."
"Seems like an odd way to go about it, but you know more than I about training young Dwarrows. Still it would surely be easier to teach them how to do it the right way, before they have to relearn their grips."
"If you know so much, why don't you show me how you'd teach them."
"Well I could give them a basic lesson that fauntlings their age learn if you wish." Bilbo said and smiled at the instructor. "I wouldn't want to intrude on your lesson."
"Oh I'm sure it will be most informative." The instructor said. "Go ahead and see to them." He added and Bilbo nodded, going first to the boy he'd spotted earlier and holding up his hands.
"Can you copy the way my fingers are lad?" Bilbo asked and the boy eyed his hands, before nodding, copying Bilbo's fingers. Bilbo smiled at the child and looked around, frowning when he didn't see any padded gloves. "Where are the padded gloves?"
"What are those?" The instructor asked.
"They are gloves with padding sewn in, so young lads can get a feel for striking." Bilbo replied and smiled. "We have them try to strike the palm of the hand, so they understand what punching feels like." He said and frowned when he saw no one was using any sort of padding for fall drills. Falling on the wooden floor must hurt and from what he could tell of the exercises going on around them, fall drills didn't seem to practiced all that much and it was only the older students doing so. "I suppose my own hands will do just as well in this case." He said and began instructing the boy how to aim a proper punch and follow through with it, getting him used to the feel of punching his hand. "Good your doing much better now, now can everyone see what this lad is doing, watch how his elbow gives his punch the force it needs, while his other hand defends his face." Bilbo told the other students and smiled at the young Dwarrows. He watched as they copied the dwarfling's movements and Bilbo went around correcting their finger holds and follow through where he saw error. He let them just punch the air for several minutes, before he nodded. "Very good, now lets focus on your legs, stand with your legs forward and slightly bent, like me." Bilbo instructed showing them the first stance that fauntlings learned. "This is first position, notice how my left arm and leg are back? Very good, you all have it. Second position is where my left arm and leg go forward and I follow through by sending my elbow forward like this." Bilbo demonstrated and smiled at the dwarfling. "Now for third position, take a step forward and follow through with your right arm." Bilbo said and the dwarfling did as he asked. "Good now First!" Bilbo called out. "Second!" He followed up after everyone had completed the first position. "First!" He cried out again and again, until the front row was close to him. "Very good, now turn around." He instructed, before backing up to the edge of where this part of the drill was being held. He continued to instruct them, calling out first and second position, as they made his way towards him, he had to correct stances occasionally but they learned fairly quickly over all. "Very good turn around again. He said and smiled as the dwarfling did as he asked, he then walked back to the edge of the part of the yard his group had again and smiled at the dwarfling. "Now for a change of positions, this is the second drill, what we just practiced was the first drill." Bilbo said.
"Make sure your spread out fairly well and have plenty of space for this one, now first position is the same as before, but for second position I want to sweep your right leg around and to the front like this." He demonstrated the movement very slowly, so the dwarfling could understand it fully. He smiled as they tried to do it and one little boy obviously was trying to hold back laughter. They all did look rather funny.
"Aren't they a bit young for leg sweeps?"
"Its the first thing young fauntlings are taught, after how to throw a punch, when someone's bigger than you, you should get them on the ground and run away that way you can fight someone when your big and strong like your adads." Bilbo stated and the teacher looked on in disapproval.
"They are being taught how to fight, not how to run from battle."
"Knowing when to run is just as much a part of fighting as anything else, we also teach our children how to break someone's grip and how to escape someone's hold, I'd wager that I'm better at hand to hand fighting than you are, you stated that you wanted me to teach them for a bit and that's what I'm doing, if you have a problem with it, or with me, I'll be too happy to demonstrate." Bilbo stated and the teacher looked alarmed, clearly not wishing to harm his king's one.
"I don't wish to see you hurt."
"Oh you won't hurt me." Bilbo stated and before the teacher could react, Bilbo clocked him in the chest, jumping back before the dwarf could register what had happened fully, the dwarf attacked him as well, although he was better at hand to hand than Dwalin, he was no match for Bilbo's own hand to hand combat moves. Soon he had the dwarrow winded. "This is how you make someone fall that's bigger than you." Bilbo swiped the teacher's leg out from under him and glared down at the dwarrow. "If you offer to let someone help, next time mean it." He stated. "And don't go criticizing other's methods, everyone has something to offer."
"I am sorry I offended you, how did you learn to fight like that?"
"Using your body against you, judging when to attack and when to retreat, when to defend and when to strike." Bilbo replied. "Simple enough combat techniques." Bilbo said and offered his hand, the dwarf accepted it and Bilbo smiled at him.
"Would you teach me as well?"
"I'm sure you know most of what I do already, its just a matter of knowing when to strike and how hard, I was a bit angry at you, but I was also only proving a point, so you might have a few bruises, but no more than from an ordinary sparing match. Some things I can't teach you, hobbits are naturally stronger and faster than Dwarrows in our legs for example and our fighting style uses the force behind our feet to carry through blows, but I've never actually been in a fight where I've had to kick someone full force. If I did, I could possibly break someone's ribs or injure other organs and even in a gentleman's disagreement, such force isn't to be implemented."
Bilbo realized suddenly that several people were staring at him, including Dwalin who looked very pleased with Bilbo who smiled at him in return. "As most of you seem to be watching anyway, I could give you a brief instruction on some hobbit tactics and foot work." Bilbo offered and smiled, several of the other teachers came over and Bilbo showed them the first three movements, making sure they got it right, before allowing them to return and instruct their own fighting groups. Bilbo smiled, showing the man he'd knocked to the ground the first four stances himself, leaving him to instruct the dwarfling. He then saw a staff hanging on one of the wall and decided to do some staff dancing himself, it always cleared his head and helped him center himself.
He swung the broomstick down, before spinning it between his hands, getting lost in the breathing and the motions for a while feeling the way the staff spun in his hand, before progressing through a series of staff drills. He was slightly sweaty by the end of them and so he got some water for himself and handed a cup to Dwalin, who was instructing his own class. Bilbo nodded his approval, before going back to the center of the training hall, after everyone got some water, he returned to instructing them. "Now for fourth through sixth movement."
"Can you teach us what you were doing with the staff?" One of the younger Dwarrows asked. "It looks like fun." Bilbo grinned at the child, as his instructor glared at him.
"Staff work is fun and you can practice with a broom at home, as long as you don't damage it. Your Amads won't be very happy with you if your hurt their broomsticks after all." Bilbo said and several of the boys and dwarrow laughed at that. "Maybe if we have time after everyone understands the eighth movement, but you need to understand that what I do when I practice the staff takes years to complete properly. Its like any other weapon, its most similar to sword work in fact, but it has its own unique style." Bilbo added and smiled, he'd always enjoyed teaching others and sharing knowledge with them. He showed the instructors the fourth through sixth movements, before noticing that half the Dwarrows had their shirts off. His own instructors had allowed the boys to take their shirts off if they wished and his own shirt was sweaty from working with his staff. He took it off and wiped his face with it, before braiding back his hair again and tying it back with a piece of cord once more.
He then started working with his stick instinctively falling into a pattern, going down on one knee and then up again, twisting and turning around in circles. He smiled as he worked through the motions of the familiar exercises, before he took a drink from the water barrel and used the cup to wet his face before wiping at it and returning to the middle of the training ground. When the other instructors came up this time Bilbo smiled at them.
"Would you rather practice rolls, or continue with the hand and feet movements." Bilbo asked and most wanted to continue with the hand-to-hand movements. Bilbo realized that they were right and if he were to continue instructing others, it would take several weeks for them to be ready for falls. "Would it be better if I stopped showing you drills at lunch and you can go back to what you ordinarily teach?"
"We would all prefer to learn new tactics, if your willing to spend the day in the training halls."
"I have no problem with doing so." Bilbo replied and smiled. "I didn't have much planned for the day at any rate."
"But you will most likely be busy with other tasks soon, as Dwalin can only instruct a few days every week, it is fine for you to only be able to do the same. We understand that you have concerns that we do not share."
"Thank you for considering me, but in all honesty I haven't yet figured out what I'm going to do now." Bilbo said and smiled at the Dwarrows. "Most of the last few years, I've devoted to Prince Fili and Prince Kili, but now that they are grown and with their family once more, I'll have to discover new ways of occupying myself. I enjoy teaching and I would not mind giving you instructions in how hobbits defend themselves from time to time, but I wouldn't want to interrupt your own training."
"Do not worry about it, we can also instruct our students in other dwarves tactics and weaponry, however your fighting style is most remarkable. Not many could take down Jiran."
"No one had been able to take me to the ground in the last thirty years, until you managed it. I lost my feet and my heart to you in the very same moment." Dwalin said and Bilbo smiled at the big warrior, feeling his face heat with more than just exertion.
"You did very well yourself." Bilbo said and nodded. "If you all wish to learn more tactics, I could teach you more until lunch and then you could resume your normal schedule." Bilbo said and smiled at the instructors, before going through the next set of drills. "If you find the pace is too fast for the younger students, slow it down accordingly." Bilbo instructed, before going over to the water barrel and drinking deeply. The practice continued much in the same way it had before, Bilbo practicing his own drills and watching the others, occasionally telling them a new drill or walking around them to make sure that their form was correct. Before he knew it the bell toll told everyone it was time for lunch. Bilbo put his shirt back on, as well as his waistcoat and waited for Dwalin, before going back to the dining hall.
"Did you spar with anyone Bilbo?" Fili asked taking in Bilbo's slightly disheveled appearance.
"Yes and I taught them a few hobbit drills as well." Bilbo said and smiled piling his plate high with food and drinking several more glasses of water, before starting to eat. "Thorin what's your favorite dessert?"
"I like apple pie best, why?" Thorin asked and Bilbo smiled.
"One hobbit courting tradition is to make sweets for our Heartsigns, it is supposed to signal the sweet things to come in our relationship." Bilbo replied. "What about you Dwalin?"
"Anything with chocolate in it." Dwalin said and Bilbo smiled.
"I like chocolate as well." He said and sent a servant down the table to ask Bofur, who wanted vanilla cupcakes. Bilbo smiled. "Do you know if there is anywhere I can bake?"
"You have a kitchen as part of your suite of rooms." Thorin said and Bilbo grinned.
"Really?"
"Yes of course, as well as a nursery, study and living room, have you not been outside your bedchamber?"
"I've not had the time." Bilbo replied and grinned. "I'll go to the market and pick up what I need after lunch." Bilbo said and smiled at the thought of baking again. He finished eating and Thorin stood shortly after, Bilbo walked out the hall and down to the markets, adding ingredients to his cart, none of his Heartsigns had asked for anything complicated, but he had the most free rein with what Dwalin had asked for. After some consideration he decided to make a chocolate torte with caramel sauce for Dwalin and his grandmother's famous caramel apple pie for Thorin. As for Bofur he'd make vanilla cupcakes with vanilla frosting and bacon bits. He'd noticed how fond Bofur was of bacon and smiled at the thought of surprising the dwarf. He got everything he needed and then preceded to bake for the rest of the afternoon, finishing right before dinner. He smiled as he finished icing the cupcakes and stacking them into a tin he found with several clasps on it for keeping things, he then stacked the chocolate torte on top of it and took the pie in his other hand making his way to the dining hall. He set the deserts down and presented each to his mates in turn.
"Thank you Bilbo, this looks very good." Dwalin said and Bilbo smiled at the dwarf, before returning to his seat.
"Did you make anything for us Bilbo?" Fili asked and Bilbo frowned.
"If you wanted something, you should have asked." Bilbo stated. "I was busy baking courting gifts and I wouldn't have had time today, but you know I'll make you something if you want me to." That was after all to some extent how hobbits showed love, by cooking for those they cared for and providing for them.
"Can you make some blackberry pie, the season is almost over and I'd like some, before there isn't any blackberries left." Fili asked and Bilbo chuckled, Fili had a great fondness for blackberries and every summer in the shire when they'd been growing up, their hands had all been stained with blackberry juice.
"I'll be glad to and what would you like Kili?" Bilbo asked
"I'd like blackberry pie too, or something with chocolate in it." Kili said and Bilbo nodded.
"I make you some sometime as well." Bilbo said feeling very happy.
"Would you like to have a drinking contest in your quarters after dinner?" Dwalin asked and Bilbo smiled.
"I'd enjoy that, would you like to join as well Thorin?" Bilbo asked and Thorin looked down at his plate a moment, before he squared his shoulders.
"I would, are you going to invite Bofur as well?"
"If he wants to, he might not after last night." Bilbo said and sent a servant to ask Bofur, to his surprise Bofur agreed to the contest and smiled at him from down the table. Bilbo saw that he'd already opened his tin and was several cupcakes into it, his food forgotten. Thorin and Dwalin seemed to show more restraint but after finishing his first portion, Dwalin cut himself a slice of the cake and moaned in delight at the taste. Bilbo blushed as his blood stirred somewhat in response to the noises Dwalin was making as he enjoyed a bite of his dessert.
"This is the best chocolate torte I've ever had."
"Really let me have a taste then." Balin said. "If that's alright?"
"Its his torte, he can share it if he likes." Bilbo said and smiled at Dwalin, who cut a slice for his brother and Balin sighed as he tasted it.
"You are a excellent baker, better than some of the kitchen staff." Balin complemented and Thorin couldn't resist any longer, he cut a slice of his apple pie and chewed slowly savoring the bite.
"This is the best apple pie I've ever had." Thorin said and passed a slice to Dwalin. "Here try some."
"Only if you try some of my torte." Dwalin said and Bilbo smiled. Bilbo was surprised when Dwalin and Thorin offered him a piece but delighted. "Did you make anything else?" Dwalin asked and Bilbo shook his head. "It took long enough to make the caramel sauce and with that and mixing everything together, I didn't have time for anything else." Bilbo said and smiled at he took a bite of the chocolate cake. They finished eating the desserts, Bilbo felt pleased when neither Dwalin nor Thorin shared with anyone else and Bofur looked almost possessive of his cupcakes. Finally Thorin stood and they walked to Bilbo's rooms together. They sat together in Bilbo's study and opened keg of ale, a servant had brought an additional keg and Bilbo had insisted on somewhere soft, in case one or more of his Heartsigns passed out.
"I'm warning you my tolerance is higher than yours, so maybe I should drink six ales before you in order to make it a bit more even." Bilbo offered and the others argued with him, before he agreed to chugging four ales in quick succession. Then they started drinking, Bilbo smiled at his Heartsigns, before speaking. "Do you want to play drinking games, as we have this contest, or just drink?"
"Drinking games at first, then lets just drink." Bofur suggested and Bilbo nodded.
"How about I've done, have you played that game?" Bilbo asked.
"How do you play?" Bofur asked
"You say I've done this, or I've done that and whoever hasn't done it has to drink." Bilbo stated.
"That sounds like fun, can I go first?" Bofur asked and Bilbo nodded. "I've danced on a table." Thorin took a drink.
"I've killed someone." Thorin stated and Bilbo was the only one to drink.
"I've won a fight." Dwalin said and no one drank.
"I've kissed a lass." Bilbo said.
"What when? As we're all male, I thought you liked only males." Dwalin asked and Bilbo laughed as everyone took a drink.
"When I was twenty five and the lass were dared to do it. I didn't mind though, its considered a bit of harmless fun in the Shire."
"I've slept with a goat."
"How did you wind up sleeping with a goat?" Dwalin demanded.
"I got drunk one night and didn't realize that I was turning into the stables, rather than the inn I was staying in." Bofur said.
"I've been crowned king." Thorin said and smirked as everyone drank.
"I've become a member of the royal guard." Dwalin said and Bilbo smiled.
"I've carried a cat out of a tree." Bilbo said.
"I've worn a dress." Bofur said and Dwalin and Thorin both drank.
"Now when did either of you wear dresses?"
"I wore them as a baby and I still wear a nightshirt to bed. My mother found it easier to change me, if I wore a dress." Bilbo replied.
"I wore one because my brother dared me to once." Bofur replied. "Perhaps we should play something else?"
"I would be alright with that." Thorin said and Bilbo nodded.
"How about a dice game?" Dwalin suggested.
"I don't have dice though." Bilbo said
"I have some in my quarters, I'll get them and be back real quick and we'll teach you one of the simpler games." Thorin offered and Bilbo nodded, he relaxed back in one of the armchairs and smiled.
"Do either of you smoke?" Bilbo asked suddenly.
"Thorin does, but I stopped after it started to make it harder for me to do morning drills."
"I like to smoke too." Bofur said and Bilbo smiled.
"Well what's grown in the Shire is slightly different than most tobacco, it clouds the mind and makes you feel happy, but some prefer to not smell it."
"Do you want to smoke some of this plant?" Bofur asked and Bilbo shrugged.
"I was thinking of it, sometimes I used to get together with other hobbits in the green dragon inn and play cards, not all that often though. Smoking always helped relieve the tension of the day somewhat."
"I would not have any, but I'm not against you smoking if you wish." Dwalin assured and Bilbo nodded, going into his bedroom and taking out one of several boxes of longbottom leaf he'd stashed, as well as his pipe.
He then returned to the study and smiled as Thorin arrived at the same time he did. Bilbo took some of the already powdered herb from his bag and filled his pipe before lighting it.
"What are you smoking? The smell isn't unpleasant." Thorin asked.
"Longbottom leaf." Bilbo replied taking a long drag from his pipe. "Would you like to try it?"
"I would thank you." Thorin said and Bilbo passed him the pipe.
"I would suggest that you inhale only once, if this is your first time trying it." Bilbo suggested and Thorin did as he said. Bilbo took the pipe back and Thorin sat in his own chair, bringing out several cups filled with dice.
"Now this is a bluffing game, you roll your dice in the cup and either take a wager, or claim the amount of 3's you have, as an example. I could say three threes, though this is a rather simple version." Dwalin explained, as he laid out several stones, giving Bilbo a green colored set. He gave Thorin a blue colored set, himself a red colored set and Bofur a purple colored set. "Whoever has collected the most stones by the end wins the game."
"Why the different colors?" Bilbo asked
"Its used for betting for the most part, sometimes people wager small favors, while at others people wager gold."
"Wagering favors sounds interesting, so whoever has the most gets to ask favors of the others?" Bilbo asked and Thorin nodded.
"Aye, but those that loose keep the favors as well." Thorin said and Bilbo smiled, he wouldn't mind his Heartsigns asking him for small favors and he found the game to be interesting.
"Would you like to wager for favors then, it sounds a bit more fun than wagering for gold."
"I would be fine with that." Thorin said and the other two dwarfs agreed. "You'll go last Bilbo and you'll see how the game is played, remember however that everyone can bluff as well. You don't want to be called on something, if its too high of a number. The number claimed each time increases, until someone calls another player's bluff. Or all three other players forgo a round, but if you forgo more than three rounds your out of the game."
"Sounds like fun." Bilbo said and shook his cup, placing it face down in front of him and setting his beer down on the table as well.
"It is and we could drink after each claim, or after each round."
"After each claim would be better, my cousin wants me to help with his inventory tomorrow." Bofur said and the others nodded.
"Can you still do that, while you have a hangover though?"
"I don't like hangovers, but its worse to be over tired, I would prefer not to stay up until morning playing, if that's alright with the rest of you."
"Aye it is." Dwalin said and smiled. "I have training duty tomorrow myself." He added and Bilbo nodded.
"Well then I'll start, two twos." Thorin said and Dwalin smiled.
"Five twos." He said adding his own stone.
"Six threes." Bofur called out and Bilbo looked at his own cup, of the six dice he had three fours and the likelihood of the others having at least four was high.
"Seven fours." Bilbo said and added his own stone to the pile.
"Your treasure is too big." Bofur called out in Khudzul and Bilbo revealed his dice, as everyone else did as well, there were in fact eight fours on the table, between everyone and Bilbo smiled.
"Now what happens?"
"Because you won, you get the pile and you get to start off the next round." Dwalin said and Bilbo smiled. He rolled his dice in his cup and raised an eyebrow, before hastily putting in his stone
"Four fives." Bilbo stated, even though he didn't even have one and the others looked surprised, but seemed hesitant to call him on it.
"Six threes." Thorin claimed.
"Seven fives." Bofur said.
"Your treasure is too big." Bilbo said and everyone revealed what they had, indeed there were only three fives on the table.
"You tricks little bunny." Bofur accused and Bilbo laughed.
"Why does everyone refer to us as rabbits, honestly." He said and play resumed. He highly enjoyed the game, bluffing games had always been his favorite and he'd often played them with his cousins and adoptive brothers growing up. The evening wore on and Bilbo lost some rounds, but he won a good deal more than he lost, particularly after the ninth pint or so.
"How do you play this game so well?" Dwalin demanded.
"While I've never played this game before, I've played others like it. You should be able to recognize other's tells, if your going into business, or bartering a trade deal." Bilbo stated. "The trick is to change them up and keep your adversary on their toes. Hobbits are very fond of bartering and instead of gold, we use something very similar to these trade tokens most of the time. If I wanted someone to help me with my garden for example, I'd offer to watch their children for a few hours in exchange. Depending on the skill of the work, or the commodity being traded the exchange rate is higher or lower, much like any other economic system. Though ours only works the way it does, because everyone knows everyone and if your known for giving a bad trade more often than a good one, people are less likely to trade with you in future."
"Seems more complicated than simply using gold." Dwalin
"Well we'd have to trade for the gold in the first place, the Shire is rich in the bounty of the land, but not so much in precious gems or metals. Its less expensive all around for us to come to agreements. We also have stamps, which are somewhat similar to these tokens, promising a future service in exchange for a past one." Bilbo said.
"Interesting, eight fives." Dwalin said and Bilbo tossed his own stone onto the table.
"Nine fives." Bilbo said and laughed when Dwalin questioned it and it turned out he had no fives. "You did well at distracting me." Bilbo said and chuckled again taking a sip of his beer and rerolling his own dice. He was surprised when he came up with five twos as Dwalin started off.
"Four fours." Dwalin said.
"Five twos." Bilbo said and it went around in a circle, until it came back to Dwalin.
"Eleven twos." Dwalin said and Bilbo frowned for second, before calling Dwalin's bluff.
There were in fact ten twos on the table and Bilbo smiled adding the pile to his own. "Allow us a turn won't you?" Thorin asked and Bilbo laughed.
"Of course." Bilbo said and rolled his dice. Bilbo was just simply enjoying the game, but this round he started it at one and by the time it came back to him, he wagered twelve of something he didn't have one of. He was shocked when no one called him on it and frowned. "You sure there could be twelve threes."
"You said twelve twos a moment ago." Thorin said and Bilbo laughed.
"Well why don't you call me on it then?" Bilbo asked and Thorin frowned before setting out his own wager and Bilbo realized that Bofur hadn't called anything on anyone the entire game. "Switch places with me." Bilbo told Thorin.
"Why?"
"Because it will make the play more even." Bilbo stated and Bofur looked shocked and blushed slightly.
"Have you not been calling me on my wagers?" Thorin demanded of Bofur and Bofur looked down at the table.
"I don't want to offend you."
"Bofur its a game and your my friend, that hasn't changed." Thorin said and sighed. "Would you be more comfortable, if Bilbo sat next to you?" He asked and Bofur nodded.
"I'm sorry its just that I don't wish to offend either of you."
"Its fine Bofur, like Thorin said its a game, think of us like ordinary Dwarrows. I wish we had known one another better before the quest, but we're brothers at arms and we can set aside the titles for a night." Dwalin stated and Bilbo smiled, moving his things over one seat, before play resumed. Bilbo found the game to be a lot harder now that Bofur had truly joined it and they had gotten further and further into the ale. To his surprise Dwalin actually passed out before they had finished playing and all three thought it was hilarious for some reason, though Bilbo's fuzzy head couldn't remember why. Within the next three rounds the others had passed out as well and Bilbo smiled as he moved their chairs back from the table. He was very happy and very drunk as he managed to pull Dwalin off the armchair and onto the floor, careful to place cushions all over it, before pulling him all the way down. He then pulled off the dwarf's shoes and armored plating, before doing the same to the others as well. He wouldn't have been able to carry them anywhere, but there were plenty of cushions and Bilbo was quite proud of his clever thinking, that was of course until Bofur wrapped a vice like grip around his ankle.
"Mhhuh don' lea' ousin." Bilbo would have thought the entire situation funny, if he could get the dwarf to let go, but Bofur had no desire to let go of Bilbo's leg and while Bilbo struggled he fell nearly on top of the dwarf groaning at the bruising contact. He tried to get free without hurting Bofur, but it was clear that he had no hope of doing so. He cursed, before finding himself a somewhat comfortable position between Bofur and Thorin's legs, although he had to push both to the side to make room for his body. He thought that it was so uncomfortable and he'd never be able to fall asleep, but as soon as he closed his eyes, darkness overcame him.