Previous evening
"So, Blaine how was last month?" Riley asked starting the monthly session. She was Blaine's part-time therapist and full-time friend.
"It was uneventful at the very least, no run-ins with Kurt and I spent some time with my family. My brother is shooting his new movie in Vancouver so I went to visit him for few days and went to Ohio too to meet my parents" Blaine replied getting comfortable in his chair.
"And did you meet any of your friends from high school?"
"No, except for Sam and Puck, nobody else I knew is in Ohio anymore and my stay was very short so I didn't meet anyone else"
"That's good, and how do you feel about your trip," Riley asked knowing that Blaine's relationship with his family was not like it is now in the past.
A lot of Blaine's issues are and were stemmed from various misunderstandings and miscommunications with his parents and his elder brother. They had been working on those for past months even though his relationship with his family had already changed for the better even before that but his issues were still there.
Blaine told her smiling, "I had a good time with my brother, I've to say that one of the good things that Kurt did for me was to help me build back my relationship with my brother and now we are closer than ever. My parents were happy to see me for the short time I was there, I'm happy that we are like a family again and have moved past all the misunderstandings in the past."
"It's good Blaine that you accept both the good and bad parts of your ex-husband and your marriage even though it didn't end on a positive note," Riley remarked looking at him after writing something in her notes.
Blaine just replied shrugging, "it would be wrong of me to not give credit where it's due."
"And did you see Kurt's family as you told me you were close to them before the divorce," she asked.
"Yes, I did see Carole while I was getting coffee but that was a very short meeting and our relationship is not the same anymore. Kurt wasn't very truthful to them about everything and they still believe that I left him suddenly without any explanation or any cause" he told her.
"And why haven't you told them the truth, they certainly deserve to know" Riley questioned him.
"I wanted to…" Blaine said slowly looking down but then he looked back at Riley directly and added, "but I think they wouldn't believe me or still blame me or try to resolve things between us which I absolutely don't want to."
"I agree that it's not healthy for you to get together with Kurt but I still feel you they deserve to know the whole truth and not just their child's version of It. They're directly related to the situation like your parents are and they should know all the facts before making their opinions" she told him.
"I agree but I want to move on from all that and since I won't have any association with them in the future so its fine anyway," Blaine said looking away from her. He really didn't want to get into with the Hummels, as he knew it would result in more conflict and he already had enough for a lifetime.
"But is this something that you would suggest to your patient when you become a psychologist?" Riley asked leaning back in her chair looking at Blaine pointedly.
"I know it's not the best way to deal things" Blaine nodded agreeing with her and added, "but right now I really want to put everything Kurt-related in the past. Maybe in near future when I'm ready to face them again, I'll tell them everything but right now I don't…" Blaine said looking at the wall.
"Don't you think your tendency to bottle things up has led to all of this…?"
"Yes, I agree it has but I'm not bottling anything up now, I know the truth and I accept it fully. And whenever I will tell them, I already know how it will go down. It's just that I'm not ready for that and they don't look like they even want to" Blaine replied bitterly.
"That's because they really don't know the truth," Riley told him.
"Maybe, maybe not" Blaine shrugged.
"Okay, let's talk about your biggest regret in life till now, something you'd want to go back in time and change if you had the chance," Riley asked changing directions of the session.
"Why it's not like I'm getting a chance to do that," Blaine said flippantly.
"And if you got one then," she asked in a challenging manner.
"I'm pretty sure I won't be getting one but to humor you, I wish I never married Kurt that day. It was reckless, stupid, and impulsive and you know what, I actually wish I never proposed him in the first place. What was I thinking, proposing a man after cheating on him with another just because our relationship wasn't working and I was feeling alone? I make some stupid decisions but that took the cake on all" Blaine told her indignantly.
Riley was pretty shocked by Blaine's sudden outburst though she didn't show it on the outside. But she didn't want to talk about Kurt this time, "And if I may ask what is your biggest regret that isn't related to Kurt" she asked in her usual calm manner.
"Not giving someone else a chance to see where it would lead me," Blaine told her after a while looking at the Eiffel Tower figurine kept in the corner behind Riley.
"Any particular someone else?" Riley asked probing trying to find the story behind.
"No not really" Blaine replied immediately shaking his head.
"Are you sure because you look like you had somebody on your mind?" she prodded again.
"You know what, I feel like you know something that I don't," he said getting defensive.
"It doesn't matter what I know but what I really want to know is why haven't you tried to actually move on from Kurt," she told him. But clearly, Blaine needed the reason why Riley was pushing for an answer, "You have been separated from him for about a year now and divorced for almost half but you have yet to be in a relationship. You don't date and you aren't even trying so what are you really waiting for?"
"I thought we were going to work on my emotional dependency on others preferably my partners and now you're questioning me why am I not dating anybody," Blaine asked getting riled up a bit.
"Well to work on it fully you have to have a partner for more than a night" Riley shrugged.
"I'm not ready to date" Blaine stated bluntly.
"Why you're a good-looking fella with a lot of prospects, I'm pretty sure a lot of people hit on you when you go to any club so what are you really waiting for. Do you not get somebody your type?" Riley asked.
"No, that's not it"
"Then what is it?"
"I don't know," Blaine said evading.
"You know it, you just don't want to admit it. Though I shouldn't be giving you my opinion but here I'm going to do it because you're too stubborn to admit it but for that answer, my questions please, what is your type?" Riley asked.
"I don't have a type," Blaine said with a hint of annoyance.
"You have one so quit denying" Riley promptly replied not giving him room to wiggle out. She was done with Blaine's attempts to evade whatever he was trying to evade.
"How would you know and if you do then why are you asking me?"
"I just know and just humor me and be specific and give me reasons of why you want that in him," she said firmly.
"Fine" Blaine replied crossing his hands in front of him like a disgruntled toddler but then added a minute later, "Tall, preferably good hair, can sing, great sense of humor so that I can laugh with him all the time, sassy, intelligent so that we can have meaningful conversations together, has a beautiful smile that's just for me, someone who doesn't want to change me all the time I guess…"
"You know I asked you your type and you described your ideal man to me," she remarked.
Blaine just shrugged looking nowhere in particular, "Well my ideal man would have to be my type for him to be ideal."
"And the way you were describing him, I feel you had somebody in your mind who is the same person you regret not giving a chance to see where it would lead you and you compare everybody you meet with him and I can bet you even compared your husband with him when you were married to him" Riley said deducing.
"Fine I did, but its never going to work so can we work on making me stop comparing everyone I meet with him," Blaine said looking at her.
"Why do you think it won't work with him, have you even tried to find where he is right now. You are not in a relationship, maybe he isn't too so don't you owe yourself and him too to try once" Riley suggested.
"Oh, I would if I had a chance but I know that he's moved on already and he is so out of my league now that he's practically from another planet. There is no chance that I'll ever see him again and if we did ever meet, he won't even recognize me from all the new people he sees every day" Blaine told her.
"So he is somebody who is famous, meets new people every day I guess," she asked.
"Yes, he is," Blaine told her.
"Somebody, I know?" Riley implored trying to find who Blaine was talking about.
"I guess if you follow international singers" Blaine replied slowly.
"Ooh… is he famous?" Riley said getting a bit excited.
"Did you see this year's Grammy awards?" he asked casually.
"Yes I did, was he there?"
"He was there all right" Blaine replied almost scoffing.
"Uh… Blaine, are you talking about Sebastian Smythe" Riley said after thinking about the awards for a minute.
"Yes."
"So you are the man he thanked for breaking his heart then," Riley remarked thinking back to one of the numerous speech Sebastian gave that night.
Riley had been intrigued by all of Sebastian's speeches that night that she had actually gone on the internet to search for him. Riley didn't know a lot about him before that night, just listened to his music. But after that night, she had googled him and found a lot about him.
Blaine told her dismissing that notion, "No I'm not, I think he was talking about his first love or someone else he dated, and I mean we haven't talked to each other for I think five years or so."
"Are you sure about that?" Riley asked not agreeing with him.
"Yes I think so" Blaine didn't look that sure of himself now after the way Riley was looking at him.
"And how did you meet him, he is from London I think," she asked trying to understand how they could ever cross paths.
"He actually went to high school in Ohio for half of junior and whole senior year, he graduated from Dalton academy," Blaine told her.
"So you met him in high school, were you, two friends, did he know about Kurt and everything else?" Riley asked more like a friend than his psychologist.
"He knows everything about me, even the things Kurt doesn't and I don't know what we were back then. I guess the word is complicated" Blaine said a bit ruefully.
"Good complicated or bad complicated," Riley asked trying to understand.
"Just complicated, we didn't end on good terms. He stopped talking to me one day and cut off all contacts soon after, we never saw each other after his graduation and I found out from my Warbler friends that he left States the next day of graduation and never kept contact with anybody from Ohio, not even them" he told her.
"Do you think he was running from something?" Riley asked a few moments later putting her notes away for the time being. She was riveted by this new information and wanted to know more even though they had gotten diverted from their original topic for this session.
"He never liked coming to states, he hated the small town and its people and who wouldn't after living in London and Paris, but he was forced to come because of his parents. He was so focused on getting out of there that maybe he did want to run from there" Blaine told her with a bit of a smile looking at the Eiffel Tower figurine behind her.
"No, I was asking like he wanted to escape. If he wanted to leave he could have done that by keeping contact too" she told him.
"Maybe we weren't important enough to do that" Blaine replied with a hint of bitterness and a shrug.
"Or maybe he wanted a clean break to start again" Riley pointed after a beat with her own shrug.
"What are you saying," Blaine asked not getting what Riley was implying.
"Was he there for your proposal to Kurt?" she asked after a while.
"He was captain of Warblers so yes he was, so what?"
"And when did you propose to Kurt?" Riley replied with another question.
"The day before graduation," he told her.
"Is it possible that he had feelings for you more than friendship or even just a crush and the reason he left Ohio that way is that he was running from you and your relationship with Kurt and I'm pretty sure if it was that way then the man he was thanking is not who you think is" she said after some time trying to make Blaine see things from a different perspective.
"No, that's not possible, he never said anything. He wasn't ready for a relationship then and definitely didn't love me that way. He used to have so many men and women falling over him and he loved that, surely he pursued me but I was just another fuck to him, which he befriended to get that. He didn't love me, he loved somebody else already in Paris who he had to leave behind so you're wrong" Blaine replied vehemently not even entertaining the notion presented by Riley.
"Maybe I am but are you really sure about his feelings because you're really quick to justify and discredit his for someone who you thought could have a relationship with you, I mean there's no smoke without fire" Riley questioned.
"Why are we even talking about this, its all in the past and I'm not going to meet him anyway as he's on tour right now and he lives in London so what's the point of all this," Blaine said exasperatedly trying to get what Riley was pointing to.
Riley replied leaning back again and looking at Blaine pointedly, "The point is that you need to let go of the past and actually move on by start dating again. You say you have moved on but you don't go out to with an agenda to meet anybody new and if somebody does make a move, you shut it down so I'm trying to find what are you really waiting for, is it Sebastian?"