She lies and says she's in love with him
Can't find a better man
His silence spoke for him.
He couldn't even look her in the eye.
"But I l-love you" she could barely get the words out through her sniffling. Inwardly kicking herself at how desperate she sounded in that moment.
The truth was after her father had left her mother she had been afraid of relationships. She watched her mother waiting for him to come back. She could hear her at night when she thought Kagome and her brother were in bed, crying in her room. Her mother worked so hard to maintain the shrine. They lived off very little and despite working three jobs and relying on Kagome to take care of her little brother, her mother got really sick. By the time she finally realized she needed to go to the hospital it was too late.
Kagome had felt responsible for her mother's death. She had spent days and days begging her mother to go see a doctor, but she would just smile and say she would after work. Finally she agreed to go after she had a chance to rest. Kagome checked in on her later that same night to find her not breathing and cool to the touch. After that, time seemed to slow down and speed up all at once. Vaguely processing the medics wheeling out the body bag, the funeral, the bank reclaiming the shrine, being homeless while the state took in her little brother. The Whole time she suffered she knew all of this wouldn't have happened if her mother hadn't relied on her father. This is what love did, it destroyed people, and she wouldn't let it happen to her. So how the fuck did she get here?
In the end it wasn't that she actually loved him. She had met him when he was in pain and she threw herself into fixing him so she could avoid her own issues. Through time though he had broken down some of her walls and crawled under her skin in a way that at first was comforting. But now, facing the end and having that comfort so close to being ripped away, all she felt was cold and exposed. She may not love him in the way one would a lover but the idea of losing him after he knew everything and had still accepted her…how could she possibly find a better man? No, she didn't love him she loved the security. The knowledge that she wasn't alone in her pain. But now? Now he was healed while she was still very much broken. He got back the one thing he seemed to need the most and it made her feel sick with jealousy that she still carried these scars. Despite having helped him of her own volition, she was even angry that he got to be ok after all she did to help him and somehow she still came out the worse for it.
Taking a moment to think on that – she wondered if she was even mad he cheated or if it was all just because he was ok now and she wasn't.
She felt him sit down behind her and he pulled her to lay on his chest. The tears couldn't stop flowing. The deep urges of wanting to rip away and not be touched were at war with the need to be comforted and the smell of his musk. Safe but not protected, cared for but not loved – all she could do was lay there with him and cry. It was in that moment they both knew it was over. They stayed silent that way the rest of the night dozing off into troubled dreams.