Author's Note: I apologize that the last chapter was a little short. I was going for a dramatic sort of feel. :)
Hope you liked it!
Chapter Three
When I'm cognizant again, I'm in our bed with Peeta sitting right next to me. My head and upper body rest up against some pillows that lean on the wall and I blink slowly, feeling no better than I did earlier. I look over to him and notices that he's focused on something small and round that he rolls between his fingers. My brain tries to make sense of the image and I realize that it's the pearl that he gave me in the last Games. His face, where my eyes dart next, is sullen. We remain in silence as I come to my senses.
"Peeta..."
My voice is raw and scratchy and my throat feels like someone has taken their fingernails and raked them down the length of it.
He turns his head to me and lays his hand on my thigh. "How are you feeling?"
"Barely alive. Nothing I've never felt before." That is my answer.
I shouldn't be complaining but it's the only response I can force out of my mouth.
"Worse than being in the arenas?"
We both smile, his sense of humor is too adorable to resist. I nod.
"I'm glad you're all right."
I'm just glad I can spend every moment with him.
"I'm sorry." I tell him. "For everything..."
Peeta's lips assume a ghost of a smile. "Don't be sorry. It happens to me too."
"I shouldn't have freaked out like that... you've been through worse than I have what with the hijacking in the Capitol and all."
He shakes his head slightly. "We're both messed up."
His level of understanding of me is baffling. He's always been one to care about me rather than himself which I can't wrap my head around at all.
After all, I've threatened him and put him in danger so many times before... why does he love me and not he resent me like he should?
Old habits die hard. That is the conclusion that I come to. He has been in love with me since we were both very small after all.
"Peeta... after everything we've been through, I-"
"Stop." He commands softly, interrupting me. "You need some rest. I'll go get you some of that bread you wanted earlier. Do you want anything else while I'm down there?"
He places the pearl in my palm and rises from the bed. I blink at him as he crosses over, opens the door of the bedroom, and hovers in the doorway for a moment. Why is he so wonderful to me? I can't fathom it. A quick shake of my head, a small smile in my direction from him, and him turning around to the doorway and into the hall are the only motions that pass between us before he disappears. I hear his footsteps on the stairs and sigh to myself, looking down to my palm at the pearl.
You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know. Haymitch's words haunt me.
He's right.
I take the pearl and place it gingerly in my pocket before close my eyes for a few minutes and drown everything out.
Maybe I can make myself truly worthy of him one day. I think to myself.
Peeta returns a little later with a tray containing a silver pan on which the bread sits and a teapot and two teacups. My heart flutters in my chest at the sight of him and my eyes remain on him as he makes his way across the room. He sets the tray of food down on the bed and walks around to the other side before he sits down next to me. I lean back against the pillows even more, letting myself relax and I keep my eyes on him. Peeta reaches for the knife he's laid next to the tray of steaming bread and begins cutting the loaf into pieces.
"Peeta..." I say to him quietly.
He turns his head to me, a warm smile on his lips. "Yeah?"
I'm not sure why but a single thought spills out of my mouth before I can stop it. "I'm sorry about what happened to your family."
Stupid, Katniss. I berate myself in my thoughts. You're so stupid. Why would you bring that up?
Peeta doesn't answer me immediately and I worry that I've offended him beyond repair.
"I was being stupid. I'm sorry-" I try to apologize when he interrupts me.
"It's fine."
"Peeta..."
He finishes cutting the bread and takes a piece, extending his arm to me. I take it from his hand, nodding a silent thank you and bite into the bread, chewing quietly before Peeta takes a bite of a piece that he's cut for himself.
Great, I think, I've screwed everything up... again.
"I'm not mad about what you said." Peeta tells me quietly after a few more moments that are completely silent. "I just needed time to think of a response. I've been been missing them so much and I've just recently come to terms with what happened."
"You've suffered more than I have." I say.
"We both have suffered, Katniss." Peeta replies. He's taken another piece of bread and is spreading butter over it with a knife. "You've lost your sister and your dad."
"But you've lost your entire family."
He nods. "There's nothing I can do about it... and there was nothing that I could do about it."
I find myself wishing I had this boy's strength. After my father's death I had been a miserable wreck... he doesn't seem to care all that much.
"If I lost all of my family, I think I would die." I tell him.
"I thought I would too when I heard what happened... but then I realized something."
"And what is that?"
"Since the Games, I realized you and Haymitch are my family. I'm not completely alone."
He reaches for my hand and I gladly meet it with my own. I smile at him, not sure how to respond to such a sweet sentiment. We inch together and he places a kiss on my lips before opening his eyes and looking to me again. Then he says something I will never forget.
"As long as I have the two of you, I'll be all right."
My arm raises as if it has taken on a life of his own and my hands meets his cheek. I meet his gentle, calm eyes and stroke his cheek before we share another kiss.
"I love you." I say quietly.
Peeta's lips meet mine yet again and we kiss rather passionately before he answers me.
"I love you too."
We kiss even more and this time we pull each other close and a certain fire consumes me. My arms snake around his neck, pulling him closer so that we are pressed up against one another, and he begins to kiss me gently and slowly down my neck. I seize a little bit, this new sensation feeling strange, and he lets his hands come to rest around my waist. His lips meet mine again and I refuse to let go of them, my need for his love stronger than ever. Between kisses, my hands ruffle through his blonde hair and I begin to undo the buttons on his shirt. He breaks from the kiss and looks into my eyes. We're both panting at this point and we smile at each other.
"I think we'd better stop before things go too far..." I say to him, fear igniting in my heart all of a sudden.
Peeta nods. "Okay." He places a kiss on my forehead before he draws away from me and continues dividing the bread between the two of us.
"Who was that on the phone earlier?" I ask, my memories from earlier having pretty much disappeared as a result of my meltdown.
He hands me another piece of bread which I immediately take and practically stuff in my mouth. "Effie."
I thought she was too busy with her Capitol life to visit anymore...?
"What did she want?" I ask.
Peeta then takes the teapot and teacup, holding one in each hand and pours until the teacup is almost full. Before answering, he hands it to me.
"She's coming to visit." He tells me.
"President Paylor gave her leave to come to District 12 of all places?"
Peeta shrugs, a smile on his face as he pours his own tea. "I guess so."
"It'll be nice to see her again."
"Yeah. There's one problem, though."
I sip the tea, knowing precisely what he means. "Haymitch."
"Exactly."
"You would think that they would at least try to get along after they've been stuck with us through two Hunger Games." I say nonchalantly, feeling a lot better all of a sudden.
"Well, I think Haymitch is a far better actor than we give him credit for." Peeta replies with a nod before sipping the tea until it's almost gone.
"We can try to keep them from tearing each other apart." I offer to him, half-joking and half-serious.
"All right. But it'd probably be like the Hunger Games between just the two of them." Peeta places the now-empty teacup on the tray and looks to me.
I laugh which feels so out of place because of the way I've been feeling since the end of the war. "Well, I think we can do it. We are a team after all, remember?"
"Definitely." He responds quietly.
I take his hand and mock Effie's Capitol accent. "And may the odds be ever in our favor."
I hope you liked this chapter, guys! :) Thanks for reading.