Disclaimer - I do not own Homeland. That pleasure belongs to Showtime. No copyright infringement or money making scheme intended. This is purely for reading enjoyment.

Guest "I love this…story" – thank you for your review. Glad you are liking it. When I started planning it, I had anticipated that it would only need about 4 or 5 chapters. It is now safe to say as I write, It will likely need more, though I don't know how many.

Shockey 13 – Thank you…I thought it was important to highlight that. Ruby may end up being of some help to her aunt…oh and I need to catch up with Your Star. I will get there hopefully soon.

Lipamo – Thank you. I try to keep it as realistic as possible.

Guest – "Thank you! I miss B. so much" – thank you for the review and I'm right there with you in the missing B bit.

A/N Carrie has a chat with another old friend.

Carrie impatiently checks her watch again. It is 8.50am and he was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago. She feared perhaps he had decided not to show. Their telephone conversation had been short and he hadn't committed to coming, but Carrie had hoped he would. She'd been here for nearly an hour already, was on her third coffee and now the waitress was giving her funny looks. Carrie looks down at her hands and finds she had been absentmindedly tapping her fingers on the table. A sure sign of her agitation. Just as she was ready to give up on the idea of him showing up, he walks into the café.

"You're late", she says to him as he sits down.

Virgil snorts, "hello to you too Carrie."

"Sorry", Carrie says reproached. "It is just that I really need to speak to you and I thought you weren't coming.

Virgil stares at Carrie in disbelief for a second, "did you just say sorry?"

Carrie shrugs her shoulders.

"You could have ordered me a coffee."

"I did."

"Well, where is it?"

"Your late and I'm anxious. I drank it."

Virgil shakes his head. "Unbelievable." Shouting the waitress over, he orders himself a coffee. "You want another?", he asks looking at Carrie.

"No. This is my third already. Better not."

Virgil waits until the waitress is out of earshot before asking, "why do you want to talk to me? I seem to remember being in your bad books because I said no to going to Islamabad. Why not call Max? I don't understand why this has to be a secret. That's why I'm late you know. Having to duck little brother who has decided the time is ripe for brotherly bonding now that he is home."

"It's because you were able to say no to me that I want to speak to you."

"I…what?", Virgil asks incredulous.

"To be honest with you, I'm glad you didn't come. It was a cluster fuck from start to finish. Some of it my doing…no, well, a lot of it my doing."

"Carrie what do you mean it is because I said no?"

"You didn't let me manipulate or guilt you into it. You didn't stand for it. You chose to put your wife first.

"Ye, so?"

"How?"

"What do you mean how? The wife said. 'If you go Virgil, don't bother coming back'. I decided I still am rather fond of my wife and stayed."

"But, Saul..."

"Should have married the job instead of Mira. I guess that won't be a problem now, huh?", Virgil quips.

"No. It won't", Carrie answers. She walked as soon as he told her he was being offered reinstatement and was thinking about it. Guess, she knew she couldn't win."

"Not a surprise…", Virgil stops mid-sentence as the waitress reappears with his coffee, rolling her eyes at the sudden hush that had overtaken the table. "So, what do you want to talk to me about?", Virgil asks as the waitress moves away.

"I suppose Max has told you I handed in my resignation."

"Yes. In great detail which I found hilarious since he admitted to not being in the room when you spoke with Saul properly. I think he's hoping that it is just a late April fool's joke."

"I would have thought he'd be pleased to get away from me after the last 5 months."

"No offence, Carrie, but I think it has more to do with you providing him with an excuse to work with Fara."

"Right", Carrie rolls her eyes.

"So?", Virgil probes.

Carrie looks out of the window taking a moment to collect herself and find the right words. She notices a woman with a little boy wriggling in her left arm whilst she has bags in her right hand and is trying to get in her car, but somehow managing it with an ease Carrie could never see herself effecting. "Look at that", she points the woman out to, Virgil. "Can you imagine me doing that? Being that domesticated?"

"You can learn", Virgil answers diplomatically.

"Can I?", Carrie shoots back at him.

"That's really up to you."

"I've been back five days, Virgil and already I feel the need to escape. I haven't even told Maggie I quit my job."

"Why? You rethinking that decision?"

"No. That is the right decision for everyone's sake. I haven't told her because the thought of staying in the house all day terrifies me. The thought of having responsibility for Frannie terrifies me. I haven't even held her since I have been back and no one has even asked me to. Well Maggie did once, but I hesitated and since then…", Carrie takes a deep breath. "They are stressed to the max, but they don't ask. That's how little my sister and my nieces think of me and you know what, I've earned it."

Carrie turns her head away from Virgil, looking back out of the window so as to not let him see the tears forming there. She sees the woman has managed to wrestle the little boy into his car seat.

"Maggie could really do with the extra pair of hands just now", Carrie looks back to Virgil. "My dad is dying, Virgil and he is insisting on being at home."

"Shit. Jesus, Carrie I'm sorry."

"Yeah. We all are."

"How…how long has he got", Virgil asks tentatively.

"He could go anytime and now you think I should be at home instead of here with you", Carrie finishes, noting Virgil's reaction.

Virgil looks as though he is contemplating taking it easy on her, but perhaps something in Carrie's face shows because when he speaks, he is brutally honest, "Yes. I do."

"See, I know I should be, but I can't…", the words catch in Carrie's throat. "There's so much going on. Dad dying and then there is Frannie. She's one in a few weeks, Virgil and I forgot. What sort of a mother forgets her kid's birthday? It is obvious that having that extra mouth to feed and needing to watch her all the time is stressing them out, but I'm not sure I can help. Watching Ruby with her, she seems a natural. She just knows how to feed her and everything. I think they're all better off without me. I know I should be helping and sometimes really feel that I want to, but can't. I think Maggie is right. There is something wrong with me." Carrie covers her face with her hands. Virgil respects her need for silence and does not push for her to speak. He simply waits until she is ready.

"I'm sorry for putting all of this on you."

"Two apologies in less than an hour. Blimey, must be something in the air."

"Shut up", Carrie retorts, wiping her eyes.

"Knew you were still in there somewhere."

Carrie snorts.

"Right", Virgil says standing up, "let's go."

"Go where", Carrie asks confused by Virgil's sudden need to leave.

"Home. Specifically yours."

Carrie freezes, fear rapidly moving from head to toe and back again. "Maggie doesn't know I've quit."

"Good time to tell her."

"I can't…"

"Yes, you can", Virgil interrupts. For once, I'm giving the orders. You have yourself so utterly convinced you can't do this that you have a wall up against it. But, I know you. You're tough and you can at least try."

"What if I fail?", Carrie whispers, hearing the childish fear in her own voice.

"Then at least you tried. Gave it a good go. You need to quell that urge to run every time something to do with your family scares you. Christ, I've seen you run head fucking long into ambushes when the urge to run in the opposite direction would actually be useful."

Carrie smiles sheepishly at Virgil. "So, how exactly do I quell that urge then?"

"Long term. No idea except to say one step at a time. Short term, as in today? I'm coming with you. You can have a chat with your sister. I can sit with your dad if needed and maybe steal a hug from Frannie."

"Thanks", Carrie says sincerely, trying to smile, but the smile doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"What's that look for?", Virgil asks.

Carrie runs her hand through her hair whilst thinking how to explain, "you are talking about my daughter with affection and you know her even less than I do."

Virgil shrugs, "got a few nieces and nephews and have always loved kids."

Carrie noting the broody tone in Virgil's voice and knowing he and his wife can't have any children, feels like a heel. Virgil, I'm so…"

But Virgil interrupts, "if you say you're sorry to me a third time today, I'm going to think someone put something in that coffee."

"But here I am going on about not knowing if I can be a mom."

"We all have different problems, Carrie. Look, shit happens. I've gotten used to being the stupid uncle who can send the kids back home full of sugar. I'm even sometimes cool. Darren has decided I'm a semi-spy."

"A semi-spy?", Carrie laughs.

"Yes. Half spy, half human. The mind of a 5 year old. It's quite amazing how much they notice, but everything is viewed with innocence. You could have that to look forward to."

"Maybe", Carrie chokes out, non-committedly.

"Okay. I think that is enough diversion tactics from you. Come on, move", Virgil orders.

"A bit bossy today, aren't we."

"Well, I have paid attention to you all these years…most of the time."

"Hey", Carrie gives Virgil a whack on the arm for his cheek, but lets him lead her out of the café. She was going home.