Oh my, kids... I am on quite the roll here. I don't even know how to feel about it, to be honest. I guess it's a good thing though. I guess it's kind of like what Pinocchio from Once Upon A Time said... reading through your story helps you get over the writer's block.

Anyways, here's another awesome-tastic update.

Onwards.

Chapter 4

I had resolved to go on a date before Bella returned from her trip to Florida. It was a bit of a short timeline, and probably not the best idea, but I really wanted to move forward here, so that was what I was going to do.

And maybe it hadn't been the best idea to ask the guy I had rejected about a year ago, and maybe I was being too hasty about it all, but it was too late now because I was already wearing a simple summer dress... and Victor was going to be at my house any minute now.

I chose Victor because he was the most... okay looking choice I had, and he seemed nice enough, to be honest. He wasn't the tallest, but he was taller than me at least. He didn't have any pimples either, which was a bonus. And well... if I was being entirely honest I just picked the most un-Jacob-like I could find. Victor was skinny, pale and blonde. His eyes were pretty though. A nice blue-green shade that kind of reminded me of those other-worldly oceans in those photos of beaches on the internet.

So, I wasn't too excited, and I wasn't hoping for the best thing ever either. I was anticipating it to be a rather simple affair. We were going to go out, eat some food, watch a movie and I should be home before eleven... It sounded easy enough, although I was a complete mess on the inside. After all, what if he tried to kiss me? I wasn't that interested... No, this date wasn't a date... it was just a social thing where only two people were involved, and oh dear gods, I couldn't make it sound better!

The doorbell rang suddenly, and I hurried to get to it before Charlie did because I was pretty sure he still thought I might be dating Jacob (I rather liked keeping him in that state of mind...), but I was too slow.

"H-hello, Mr. Swan..." Victor began in his meek voice, "I'm here to pick Maddie up for our, uh, date." I groaned internally because I didn't want Charlie to think that I would actually seriously date this guy. Charlie smiled slightly and looked over toward me with a confused facial expression. I gave him a nervous smile.

"Don't worry Dad," I said quickly, sliding out the door, "I won't be out too long."

"Okay," Charlie replied a bit stiffly. He was probably reevaluating his life. I was hoping he wasn't going to call Billy and tell him that I was dating some miscellaneous boy from school. That would be too embarrassing. Charlie probably would though. Billy was his best friend, after all.

"Wow, uh, you look very, uh, pretty," Victor said with a blush that went to his arms. I had never noticed him blush like that before. It was... weird.

"Uh, thank you, I guess," I responded just as awkwardly. Victor smiled at me slightly and went to open the car door for me. I wasn't really sure how I was feeling about that at the time, but just as we left we passed Jacob and Billy on their way to visit. I think they noticed... shit.

Victor took me to one of the nicer places in Forks where the food was a bit pricey, and I was beginning to think he was trying to impress me. I hadn't thought about it before, but he had also picked me up in an expensive looking silver sports car. Maybe I had made a bad choice...

"So, uh, what are you thinking of getting?" Victor started up suddenly, surprising me so much that I actually jumped.

"Oh, I don't know... it's all kind of pricey..." I responded in a tiny voice. I was kind of retracting into myself. I wasn't used to this sort of prim and proper sort of atmosphere. It was intimidating.

"Would you like to share something then?" Victor asked with a smile, and I could see that he was growing more confident in himself for whatever reason. Maybe it was because I was also nervous?

"Oh, uh, no..." I replied, shaking my head quickly.

"It's okay," Victor told me.

Eventually I ended up just ordering a salad and water. It wasn't that good either, but it was the cheapest thing I could find, and I paid for my portion as well.

The movie was something that Victor chose, and I didn't pay much attention to it because about ten minutes in (if even that), Victor put a hand on my knee. I was hyperaware of his touch, and when that hand started to move upward, I stood up faster than I could think. Seconds later, I was running out of the theater with my dignity partially still intact.

I don't think I will ever forget that moment of sudden fear. I wasn't ready for that sort of thing. Is that how guys thought? I didn't want to be touched like that by someone I barely knew...

Next thing I knew, I was crying all by myself on my way home. When I got there, it was past eleven and Billy's truck was still parked outside. I despaired because I was a mess. There was probably mascara all over my face, and I felt horrible. I went inside because I still really needed Charlie's comfort and good, long hug. I wiped at my face as I stepped inside.

Jacob stared at me in surprise, "Maddie?" I felt my lip tremble as I stared hard at the ground, trying to hide my face from him.

"Hi, Jake," I said with a sniffle.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked, taking a hesitant step toward me. I rubbed an arm across my face and shook my head slightly.

"I'm okay... I'm going to be a-okay..." I said with a slight smile, and I saw Jacob's face freeze when he saw my face. I probably looked really bad. My eyes already felt swollen.

"Maddie, you're back! How was your date...?" Charlie trailed off looking at me, his smile fading. Before he could say anything else, I quickly threw myself into his arms.

"Dad!" I said with a sob. Billy led Jacob away, and the two of them left without a word. I didn't know how infuriated Jacob looked until Charlie mentioned it later. I told Charlie everything, getting make-up all over his t-shirt, but Charlie didn't seem to mind at all.

.

"Morning, Maddie," Bella said, leaning over the couch to look at me. I squinted up at her.

"It's too bright in here," I responded, reclosing my eyes. Bella laughed at that.

"Then you probably shouldn't have passed out on the couch," she told me, acting like a big sister for the first time in a while. Most of the time the two of just avoided each other. It probably wasn't all that fun for either of us. Her trip probably went swimmingly.

"Welcome home, I guess," I said tiredly. Bella grinned at me.

"Thanks," she replied, "How was your weekend? I see that you got all dressed up for something..." Bella said this with an implication that I read loud and clear to be boys.

"Terrible. My date went badly." I answered tersely. I had spoken about it all that I wanted to. Bella seemed surprised.

"Really? What happened?" she asked, suddenly acting very concerned. I frowned slightly, rolling over toward the couch's backrest.

"Don't want to talk about it," I muttered into the fabric. Bella didn't say anything for a long moment.

"You know, I'm here for you," she said after a while. I sighed, refusing to respond. I didn't want to pick another fight with her. I really wasn't in the mood. As Bella liked to say that, I knew the truth. She would be there for me when it was convenient for her. That was all.

.

I walked to La Push later that day to draw. I sat in my usual spot, warmed beneath the sunshine and lost in thought. I had my eyes closed, and I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings, so I didn't notice when Jacob approached me.

"Maddie, are you okay?" Jacob started slowly, awkwardly. I kept my eyes closed and remained silent. I didn't really know what he was getting at.

"...I'm fine," I answered after a long moment.

"What... what happened yesterday?" Jacob asked, and I looked over my shoulder at him then, assessing him. He never really seemed all that interested in me before...

"I just... need to try again! That guy was a little too... hasty for me, so I'll just have to try dating someone else!" I answered cheerfully. Jacob seemed surprised, and at a loss for words. I gave him a thumbs up.

"Don't worry about me, okay?" I began softly, looking down at my hands then, "I know you like Bella..." Jacob stiffened in my peripheral vision.

"You... you know about that?"

"Yeah. It was obvious," I replied with a bitter smile, "Everyone with eyes knows." Jacob's hands curled into fists.

"Oh..." he muttered, looking a bit distant. I took a deep, painful breath.

"That's why I have to date other people... to get over you," I said finally. Jacob turned suddenly, staring at me.

"What...?" he sounded so surprised. I turned slightly to look him in the eyes. I could feel the tears burning in my eyes.

"I like you, Jacob..." I shuddered with a shaky breath, "So, please... don't say anything to me that could get my hopes up, okay?" My tears spilt over then, and Jacob stood in shocked silence, just staring at me in a new light.

"That..." he started, his eyebrows furrowed. Jacob looked so confused. I laughed bitterly.

"Don't worry!" I laughed through my tears, "I'm quite used to having to pick myself up out of the dirt by now." I stood up, wiping off my jeans and wiping my tears away.

"Maddie..." Jacob began, staring at me earnestly, almost as if he had never seen me before. I touched his shoulder gently.

"I'm okay... and goodbye," I said with a small smile. I then removed my hand and walked away from him. I bottled my tumultuous emotions inside. So Victor was out of the question now... I guess I was just going to have to try asking someone else out as soon as I felt ready.

There's a playlist that I made for the series that you can find the link to on my profile. It's not complete... or in perfect order just yet, but it's certainly getting there.

Drop a review if you're feeling so kind.

~Minatu

Innocence and Instinct: I know, I'm awesome. :P

Elle Ryder: We'll just have to wait and see now won't we? ;)

MariMart: Never fear, we are certainly getting there. However Jacob is a boulder, and he's rather hard to move...

MyHeartIsANightingale: Ah man, I'm glad you do. :]